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“Sit on it in a dynamite Fonz t-shirt.”

§ December 11th, 2011 § Filed under advertising § 7 Comments

That’s a terrible come-on. Especially since I first read it as “sit on dynamite,” which, I’m sure, can only be taken as a positive statement in very specific circumstances:


Also of note: the rare appearance of the “Kotter Kids” alternative nomenclature for the Sweathogs, surely used to spare the sensitive the emotional affront of “sweat” and “hogs” mixed together into an unholy union; plus a shocking glimpse into the competitive world of mood ring price wars.

And, please, friends, if you can…close your eyes and picture in your mind the magnificent beauty of that Fonz design on a bright orange t-shirt. …You’re welcome.
 

ad in January 1977 DC Comics

Sluggo Saturday #110.

§ December 10th, 2011 § Filed under sluggo saturday § 7 Comments

MASTER

OF THE “BIRD’S-EYE VIEW OF DOLLY PARTON” DRAWING

from Bums, Beatniks, and Hippies/Artists & Con Artists (1991)

They don’t write comic book ad copy like that anymore.

§ December 9th, 2011 § Filed under advertising, love is in the air § 10 Comments

house ads from Witches Tales #21 (October 1953)

Sweet Christmas, that trading card is terrifying.

§ December 8th, 2011 § Filed under star wars, trading cards § 7 Comments


AAAAAAAH! “Can’t sleep, Peter Cushing will get me.”

Here, let’s balance things out a bit:


Ah, yes, very dashing indeed. “I dashed the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.” “Why, that is quite dashing!”

Yeah, I know, not much of a post. But I did find out there’s a kesselrun.com which is, well, just a pic of the Millennium Falcon, unless there’s some kind of crazy Flash/Javascript/whatever thing also on the site that I’m not letting my browser run. And yes, “parsec” wasn’t used correctly in the original quote from the first Star Wars movie, but Wookieepedia is on it with an explanation of the helpful retcon one of the tie-in novels dropped in regarding that.

Let’s all just enjoy a swell Gil Kane splash with Green Lantern and Zatanna.

§ December 7th, 2011 § Filed under gil kane, green lantern § 10 Comments


Mmm boy, just get a load of those shapely gams…oh, and I guess Zatanna’s legs ain’t half-bad either. Also, GL’s dialogue seems a bit humorously redundant: “This magic is stronger than my ring! My ring is helpless against this magic! I can’t overpower the magic with my ring! My ring, normally very powerful, is powerless against…” ZATANNA: “Enough already, I get it! Geez.”
 

image from Green Lantern #42 (January 1966) by Gardner Fox, Gil Kane and Sid Greene

From that other store’s boxes of misfit toys.

§ December 6th, 2011 § Filed under misfit toys § 6 Comments

So here’s a thing I didn’t know existed until it turned up in these boxes of another store’s stock we recently acquired:


The Manara Game (published in 2000) uses the artwork of Italian comics creator Milo Manara, and if you’re not familiar with the man’s work, you can see some generally not-safe-for-work samples right here. And, as one might expect, the game itself uses some not-safe-for-work artwork, though here I present a few cards that are somewhat less naughty:


The came is comprised of 54 regular cards (9 groups of six, each group with a different colored border), and a “special card” that features an image of Manara’s signature and, of course, a nekkid lady. The point of the game is shuffling and swapping the cards around with the goal of getting three of the same color group in your hand, the specific rules of which I won’t get into here. And I’m not entirely sure what purpose the Manara signature card serves…it seems like if anyone gets it, you just get dealt another card, and you keep the card for an extra point when scores are tallied, I think.

And then, keeping with the overall theme of nakedness on most of the cards, the endgame is as follows:

“Once the points have been added up it must be established how many articles of clothing each opponent must remove. Each player must remove as many articles of clothing as the difference between the points he or she has scored and those scored by the winner.

“It’s up to you to decide how far you want to go to establish when the game ends and if you want to play another game.”

Er, yeah. So much for playing this at the family Christmas gathering, I guess.

It’s a nice looking game, at least…the cards are attractive, with some well-chosen imagery. Not just of naked gals, as I said, but there is the occasional naughty nun, so your mileage may vary. And here is the card back:


And that’s the Manara Game, which just goes to show me that I can still be surprised by things in the comics industry. Also, I forgot to mention that one of the rules of the game is that when you get your three of a kind, you’re supposed to call out “Manara!” I find this hilarious for no reason I can easily pin down.

“Suddenly, eight years later….”

§ December 5th, 2011 § Filed under suddenly... § 34 Comments

So I’ve been doing this for the equivalent of two U.S. Presidential terms. …Can I start the lucrative speaking tours yet? Maybe get a library named after me, at least?

I’ve said it before, and I’m going to say it again, but…I am still surprised every day that this goofy website of mine has any readership beyond a handful of pals. So, my most sincere thanks to all of you. Thank you for sticking with me for all this time and putting up with my nonsense and leaving comments and sending emails and generally reminding me that, despite my occasional low points and periods of frustration with the industry, I do love this art form.

Thanks also to my girlfriend Nora, who tolerates this behavior; to pal Dorian, who only barely tolerates me; to my parents, one of whom reads my site and the other uses my Amazon links; to Former Employee Aaron, whom I miss having around; to the other folks at the comic shop, most of whom haven’t made it onto the site yet, but maybe someday; to my fellow bloggers, some of whom are on this pretty well outdated links page…I’ll update it eventually; to The Bureau Chiefs, with whom I’ve done some funny stuff; and of course, to Comics Blogger #1, Neilalien, who may have retired from regular blogging, but still remains a singular inspiration.

Speaking of the Bureau Chiefs, this was the year that our book Write More Good, based on our popular Fake AP Stylebook Twitter feed, was released. AND NOW THE AMAZON LINK:


And we’ve started a new feed, Fake Pew Research, with all the fake stats you need for your daily life. (Here’s one I wrote.)

I also started occasionally using my Tumblr account this year, mostly revisting old posts with new commentary, or reposting amusing things from friends, or putting up brand new non-comics things that I found. (You can also still find me on the Twitter, on my barely-used Facebook, and on Estate 4.1, the worst Tumblr ever.)

Anyway, like I do every year, I indulge myself in a little backwards glance at some of my self-proclaimed notable posts from the last year. Please, look, enjoy, or be appalled:

DECEMBER 2010:

The terrifying 1960s animated Brainiac, why would Superman waste his valuable time doing this, the Bi-Onic and Possibly Slightly Communist Hand, those elitist superhero bastards versus Swamp Thing, the son of the artist of Supergirl panel showed up in the comments, I still think DC’s animated movie/TV logo is a bit odd, in which I apparently redid work already done in some book or ‘nother, I refuse to accept Minnie Mouse as a sexual being.

JANUARY 2011:

The 2011 Predictions round-up part a-one, a-two and a-three, this Star Trek recipes book is hilarious, my Hembeckian Sluggo drawing, can’t spell “Christmas” without “Pantsless Superman” you know, you have no idea how long I worked on this stupid gag, piecing together the story of how Superman totally killed a dude, pretty sure we’re within spitting distance of the end of the sales-boosting death, God I love Adam West Batman.

FEBRUARY 2011:

Swamp Thing chatting with his animal pals, my last button from Former Employee Aaron, this post about ’90s superhero art has the best title I’ve ever written for a post – seriously, I should have just stopped blogging right then, I do not regret the hours spent putting together Adam West Batman Valentine’s Day post, Superman Meets Pac-Man art (and reader Dave bought it after seeing it here!), SUPERBABY BUSTS LOOSE, solicitations for Joe Kubert’s The Redeemer.

MARCH 2011:

I love pausing cartoon DVDs and looking for in-jokes and sight gags, if only there were some way I could tell fellow motorists of my love for Thor, my totally work-safe Playboy post, pretty sure I busted the spine on my Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy comic scanning the images for this birthday post, NINE DAYS OF MAN THING: day one | day two | day three | day four | day five | day six | day seven | day eight | day nine, more freeze-frame fun.

APRIL (AND A LITTLE BIT OF MAY) 2011:

I think some people didn’t get I was joking, my “Lusty Gutsy” post resulted in someone making the best joke in the comments, BLOOM COUNTY UNCUT aside from a production error, my super run-on post about Swamp Thing’s return, that’s some fine editing in that Swamp Thing Secret Files there Lou, pre-Swampy Wrightson plant-monster, The Adventures of Alec Holland, pal Tom Foxmarnick’s bad-ass Swamp Thing & Man-Thing drawing, suckered into buying Swamp Thing variant covers, hey remember when I tried to stop doing Sluggo Saturdays (1 2).

THE REST OF MAY 2011:

I go on and on about Swamp Thing’s return, more Swamp Thing versus the DC Universe, I had this first Satan Saturday planned for like six months, Former Employee Aaron’s wedding and Free Comic Book Day — two great tastes that go great together, attack of Steve Ditko’s cute werewolf, so I really did watch Smallville for ten freakin’ years, alternate art for that first Search for Swamp Thing cover, let me just overanalyze this old Swamp Thing comic, I actually sat on this Robotman post for months.

JUNE 2011:

My first post about DC’s New 52 thing, I’m an old man and don’t “get” this “digital comics” thingamajig, I never ever ever get tired of Grant Morrison and Ken Steacy’s superhero version of John Constantine, probably my single favorite post-Sluggo Saturday gag, I scanned my Swamp Thing t-shirt, I imagine it would be quite terrifying to be Superboy’s friend, I worked hard on getting a good Barry White/Swamp Thing gag for the title, shame about that Green Lantern movie, Adam West Batman = classic literature, there’s nothing quite like Frank Robbins Superboy.

JULY 2011:

I talk about passage of time between certain comics industry events like it has any meaning, Elasti-Girl and Multi-Woman pound the tar out of each other — go ahead and look — I’ll wait, Klarion: PIMP, dirty filthy dirty comics, I’d probably wear one of these around the store if I had one in my possession, we’re onto your secret identities Supes and Bats, this What If Conan panel makes me laugh every time, “Black Savage” is actually that character’s name, more superheroes from that Foom contest, CONAN VERSUS MAMMOTH, Swamp Thing drawings by Former Employee Aaron and Daniel, that Swamp Thing mini was pretty pointless, Former Employee Timmy brings me Swamp Thing action figure tribute, this is the worst parade-dragon ever.

AUGUST 2011:

What the hell was wrong with kids in the ’60s, I’m glad I was able to find what that gesture was actually called so I didn’t have to say Sinestro was giving people the finger, I can’t get enough Vaughn Bodé, the best thing about posting about comics an’ stuff is when someone involved in it shows up in the comments, which New 52 titles I’m getting (subtract Justice League International and Mister Terrific, add Aquaman, Omac and Batgirl), and here are the Marvels I’m reading, I suggest that caption in a Swamp Thing comic was added after the fact, and Rick Veitch says I’m right, THE THING VERSUS VEGETABLES, Violet is a hideous human being, I love it when members of the actual creative team write to tell me about Swamp Thing tie-ins, I am Swamp Thing’s best friend and it’s OFFICIAL you bastards.

SEPTEMBER 2011:

A little more new 52 sales discussion, and some more, I asked what new DC title you were looking forward to and you answered, here’s why Superman’s new costume is terrible, I totally cave on the Sluggo front and then explain why, Swamp Thing and Abby cosplay, wow Hela — you’re hot, a picture of me being tired and old, I answer some complete stranger’s Swamp Thing question, I have a soft spot for Firestorm, these Swamp Thing shirts should be showing up relatively soon.

OCTOBER 2011:

SUPERMAN VERSUS PUPPY, I deface one of Former Employee Aaron’s drawings, that balloon is still sitting here on my desk, Former Employee Aaron became Former Employee Aaron on this very day, Ambush Bug: Murderer, Curt Swan is awesome, THUNDERBOLTS VERSUS THE UNFORTUNATE TYPO, the only piece of Wolverine merchandising that ever need exist, Batman movie ad slicks, the older I get the more I relate to Lanny Lummox and less to the Raccoon Kids, purchasing comic collections is not for wimps, I still can’t believe this happened, sometimes I don’t mind when people have written in my old comics.

NOVEMBER 2011:

Camels are indeed humpy, please enjoy the Six Million Dollar Man’s body parts, remember when Aquaman’s hook hand was a thing, Christopher Reeve is awesome, everybody loves Chewbacca (except…the Empire), I’m afraid to check if there’s a Green Lantern Confessions Tumblr yet, I really should scan more from this old Monster Manual, frankly I think my capybara drawing is fairly realistic, AMBUSH BUG AND SUPER-TURTLE VERSUS FRED HEMBECK, an awesome Jim Aparo splash and one of the writers of that comic provides a bit of commentary, I’ll take any excuse to post about Composite Superman.

DECEMBER 2011:

Okay, seems kind of silly to separate December out at this point, but let’s look at that great Superboy drawing again, why don’t we? And I didn’t note these in any of the above links, but every month had an End of Civilization, which surprisingly hasn’t ended yet, so go back and take a look at a few of those, if you are so inclined.

• • •

For reading all that, you get my earliest extant superhero drawing, which I drew circa 1974. Apparently that’s Super-Rabbit busting out of a house window, there:


Thanks for reading, everyone, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

If I use any more “quotation marks,” I’m going to turn into a “Jack Kirby” script.

§ December 4th, 2011 § Filed under pal plugging, retailing § 1 Comment

 

  • There’s really nothing quite like standing there and feeling the covers to multiple copies of R. Crumb’s Big Ass Comics #1, trying to determine the relative glossiness of the cover stock (which indicates what printing the book is, according to the Underground Price Guide), and then noticing someone is watching you do this with a “what the hell are you doing?” look in his eye. “Just can’t get enough of these sexy, sexy vulture women,” sez I.
  • Thanks to DC sticking to their strict new scheduling for the New 52 books, last week was a “skip week,” meaning no New 52 books on the stands. Seeing as how it’s been a while since we’ve had a real skip week, giving the general publishing strategy of “get it out there as soon as it’s ready” that everyone seemed to be following, I’ve had to explain the concept of “skip weeks” several times over the last few days. Not just to folks coming in for the new Action Comics, but to some of the newer employees as well. …At least there was no “fifth week event” to fill the shelves this time around, and some of my customers were grateful for the break.
  • Speaking of things that came out last week, the Gumby Arthur Adams Specials trade paperback apparently had some behind-the-scenes shenanigans going on, as it was released with big ol’ color stickers over the logos, replacing them with a logo that reads “Gumby Spring Specials.” (And, as Greg notes, neither of the comics reprinted inside were “Spring Specials,” so…huh?) One sticker on the front cover, another sticker on the back cover, one on the copyright page inside, and “Arthur Adams” inked out on the spine. …Hopefully, this will be returnable, since it was going to be a hard sell at $12.99 as it was for this thin digest. The stickers are just going to make it more difficult. Too bad, as it is absolutely wonderful cartooning from Adams, with scripts by Bob Burden and Steve Purcell, which totally deserves being kept in print. With any luck, a future edition will be sticker-free.
  • And this has nothing to do with funnybook retailing, but I wanted to note that pals Dor and Ken have trailer reviews up. Always a good read.

Even that logo is amazing.

§ December 3rd, 2011 § Filed under found art § 5 Comments

I don’t mind having piles of comics we don’t need dumped on us, so long as I find original fan art like this mixed in with them:


There is nothing about this I don’t love.

(This doesn’t mean that I will happily take your long boxes of Youngblood Strikefile on the off-chance there might be one of your drawings of Crypt in there, by the way.)

Chameleon Boy sure changed into some damned weird things.

§ December 2nd, 2011 § Filed under legion of super-heroes § 7 Comments


I can only assume the Legion flight ring is helping a little here, as that doesn’t look too aerodynamic.
 

from Adventure Comics #355 (April 1967) by Otto Binder, Curt Swan & George Klein

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