I don’t get how that first guy’s digestive tract would work.

§ July 19th, 2011 § Filed under FOOM § 10 Comments

So I’ve been going through this recently-acquired run of FOOM magazines, Marvel’s self-produced news and interview ‘zine, and it turns out that entries for that character creation contest I mentioned yesterday appeared in more issues. Issues #2 (Summer 1973) and #4 (Winter 1973) had some fine examples of reader creativity, like this fella:

I would totally have loved to see, like, the Avengers fighting this guy. Reminds me a bit of the dude Superman’s fighting at the end of this post.

And then there’s this dude:

Pfft. “Wolverine.” Like anyone’s gonna go for a character with that name.

There are some now-known folks from Before They Were Famous Funnybook Creators who contributed to this contest. I think this is the same Bill Morrison who’d go on to work on Simpsons comics:

…but I’m pretty sure this is the same Steve Rude of Nexus fame:

Has twice the absorbing power of competing absorbing super-characters! Cleans up big messes fast!

Issue #4 also had an extensive list of entrants’ names, including several folks who would go on to be comics pros (or at least have the same names as comic pros). A few that stick out include Bill (“William”) Jaaska, Steve Vance, James O’Barr, Larry Mahestedt, Stan Woch, Jerry Ordway, Fred Hembeck, and Carl Potts.

“Reggie Hudlin” pops up, but no idea if it’s the same guy. Could be! Also in the list? A certain Mr. “Danny DiDio.”

Like I said, this was just a list, so I have no idea what character concepts they may have submitted. I’m guessing Didio’s was “Annoying-Online-Fandom Man.”

10 Responses to “I don’t get how that first guy’s digestive tract would work.”

  • Happenstance says:

    Gobbler’s got one up on Matter-Eater Lad in my book; at least he looks like he could eat rocks.

    It always sat poorly with me that the Legion had all these astounding abilities, yet (like Superman) were almost exclusively Earthing-identical humans. (And white to boot, but that’s just the ’50s and ’60s talking. Meanwhile, the Green Lantern Corps gave us a sexy purple woman and a quite likable fella who looked like a koi and a parrot had a teleporter accident.)

    Matter-Eater Lad once tunneled his way through stone by rapidly eating it. Those teeth couldn’t have been enamel-coated. He didn’t stop to crap his spandex every five seconds, so all that matter must’ve been converted to…well, I shudder to imagine. There was someone else in that tunnel with him.

  • MrJM says:

    I presume that the Gobbler has highly-corrosive saliva and that most of his digestion takes place as he chews.

    Nothing else makes sense.

    “There was someone else in that tunnel with him.”

    Blockade Boy — the boy with the power of a wall?

    — MrJM

  • Joe Williams says:

    Gobbler used clotheslines as dental floss.

    Absorba-Man was Orion’s lesser known older brother that nobody remembers like Richie Cunningham’s older brother.

  • ExistentialMan says:

    Once again Mr. Sterling, you shed new light on the minutiae of this wonderful hobby of ours.

    I’ll definitely bite on the “highly-corrosive saliva” theory for the Gobbler but I also propose an esophagus that connects directly to his anus.

  • CW says:

    The Gobbler looks like a mutated Jimmy Carter.

  • ostrakos says:

    I think Marvel ended up using the Gobbler…check out Sugar Man from the X-Men Age of Apocalypse storyline.

  • philfromgermany says:

    I just saw Bill Morrison 3 weeks ago, when he was at the Munich Comic Festival. If you had posted this earlier, I would have asked him. He was in the same panel as Howard Chaykin who did about 90% of the talking, so I kinda felt bad for Morrison (even though Chaykin was quite interesting).

    Gobbler reminds me of Slimer from Ghostbusters.

  • Tom Mason says:

    “Danny Didio” sounds like the title of an old Harvey comic from the 1960s.

  • Happenstance says:

    I suddenly realize who Gobbler reminds me of–M.O.D.O.K., sans his supportive hoverchair. Like he lost it, and was forced to work out just so he could get around.

    As for his digestive system…like many cop-out explanations in the Marvel Universe Handbook and Who’s Who In The DCU, I’ma go with portals (known back then as “miniature black holes” or “pocket dimensions”). Everything he eats goes to the Bellyverse, from which he derives his energy.

    Is Midnight Stranger the prototype for Night Thrasher, hero with the silliest name in comics?

  • buzz says:

    What are those things in the back of his throat? Tonsils?