For those of you still looking for that perfect Christmas gift.

§ December 13th, 2010 § Filed under advertising § 10 Comments

The upraised red-colored fist and the red star seem at odds with the overtly-capitalist “MAKE $$$” blurb, but who am I to judge?

And how would you make money with it, anyway? “Hold on, let me untwist that bottlecap for you!” [one bionically untwisted bottlecap later] “That’ll be $1.50, please.” Or extortion, of course: “Give me your money or you’ll get such a bionic tweak!”

I wonder what this actually was. It was only a buck back in 1977, which I realize is the equivalent of, what, $1300 today (well, okay, about three and a half bucks), which wouldn’t cover the cost of much of a toy, even a cheapie plastic one. Maybe it was one of these? I suppose you could make money reaching through sewer grates for coins with one of these.

Which does make me wonder what the “make $$$” come-on was with this item. Maybe a sheet describing how to market your item for sale, whatever it would be, like this dude did.

And I don’t know if the whole thing is “guaranteed,” or just the “life-like” nature of the bionic hand — excuse me, “bi-onic hand” — is guaranteed. “This hand isn’t fleshy to the touch at all…and I find its movements stiff and unnatural. Please return my one dollar purchase price at your earliest convenience.”

On top of all that…what if the bionic hand wasn’t in your control? ‘Hey, my bionic hand finally showed up in the mail…OH GOD IT’S STRANGLING ME”

So, the bionic hand…put that on your Christmas lists, kids!

classified ad from DC Comics, October 1977

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