Meanwhile, in Metropolis, people are getting mugged, having car accidents, falling from buildings….

§ December 10th, 2010 § Filed under superman § 16 Comments

So when Superman isn’t drawing pictures for his to-do list, he’s molding frighteningly lifelike busts of his nemeses:

…while reciting their backstories to himself, apparently. Though I prefer to think he’s directly addressing the busts themselves. “…And that’s how Luthor went bad. DO YOU HEAR ME, HEAD OF JAX-UR?”

I think I can kinda sorta see why Superman would have this particular display, as a reminder of the type of tragic fall some people can experience, and perhaps of his own complicity in Luthor’s particular descent into criminality, but still:

…that’s kind of a weird thing to have on display, even in your “Hall of Enemies.” But then, there are probably people out there who have this on display in their homes, so, you know, why single Superman out?

Also, please enjoy this stern yet strangely attractive Saturn Queen bust, as sculpted by Kal-El’s skillful hands:

She disapproves of your bust-collecting, and shall discipline you for it, you naughty, naughty boy.

images from Action Comics #294 (Nov 1962) by Edmond Hamilton & Al Plastino

16 Responses to “Meanwhile, in Metropolis, people are getting mugged, having car accidents, falling from buildings….”

  • ExistentialMan says:

    Y’know, I have that Bowen Bi-Beast mini-bust at home. For no real reason, it sits between my Doop and Baron Blood busts.

    I have at no time, however:

    1) Designed a placard that says, “Bi-Beast (age unknown) Enemy of Hulk”
    2) Talked directly to my Bi-Beast mini-bust
    3) Swaddled large balls of steaming hot liquid porcelain in my hands
    4) Blamed evil on baldness of any kind

  • Rich Handley says:

    That is freakin’ hilarious, Mike.

  • Is this the first time you’ve done the Alt-text thing? If not, I’ve missed out all these years.

  • snell says:

    I’ve always wondered why Luthor just didn’t go out and invent Rogaine or something. You know, “world’s greatest scientist” and all? And he’s going to let a little baldness be a stumbling block? It’s not like Professor X became embittered against humanity or anything…

  • Old Bull Lee says:

    STRANGELY attractive indeed – that Saturn Queen looks like Ditko drew it!

    These displays are probably the most extreme example of old-style comic book exposition. We’re used to it in dialogue (“I’ll just visit in my secret identity as Clark Kent, newspaper reporter!”) but when you shoehorn in visual aids you take your fictional world down a weird path and end up here.

  • Harvey Jerkwater says:

    Young Luthor and Old Luthor are looking at Superman. Mr. Mxyzptlk is looking at the Luthors. Brainiac is looking at Saturn Queen. Saturn Queen is looking at us, as is Jax-Ur.

    This means something…but what?

    If only Dan Brown were to write for Action Comics…

  • Andres says:

    Considering how many times superheroes lost their memories etc. a ‘rogues gallery’ isn’t such a bad idea.

  • philip says:

    I have to wonder if, after a couple of these, Superman abandoned the wig-making as too time consuming, leading him to focus mostly on his less-hirsute nemeses.

  • Wayne Allen Sallee says:

    If I order from Amazon right now, I can save 8 cents on the Bi-Beast bust. Just sayin. 8 cents.

  • Dan Kelly says:

    Why does Mxyzptlk look so pissed off?

  • Sarah says:

    Dan: Because he’s in the back row, even though there is CLEARLY room for another bust on the front row.

  • GQ says:

    This was hilarious. I LOL’d.

    @Andres: That’s… that’s actually an excellent point.

    Side note: “Hot Liquid Porcelain” is my new band name.

  • Mikester says:

    ExistentialMan – I didn’t even know there was a Doop bust. That’s awesome.

    Michael-Sensei – I’ve only done alt-text on my images in, like, three posts total. I primarily did it this time to get my gentle joshing of pal Dorian in there.

  • Wonder who the bald guy in the green shirt with mustache is supposed to be- Superman’s Evil Neighbor Joe?

  • Mikester says:

    Johnny B. – Why. that would be Jax-Ur, notorious Phantom Zone villain!

  • Dean says:

    Why not just make one bust of Luthor, with a removable wig?