“My tubes are flashing wildly…!”

filed under Categories golden age, grendel, pal plugging 5 Comments

So it turns out I was wrong, so very wrong, when I suggested that the story on the cover of Amazing Adventures #4 (the Ziff-Davis one from 1951, not one of the three that Marvel Comics did) could no way be matched by whatever story was within:


No, the story is just as crazypants as the cover promises:


Two aliens decide to use love robots to conquer the Earth, but their plans go awry when…well, you can probably guess. You can read it for yourself here, starting on page 3. Special thanks to reader Paul, who has kindly declined my offer of quatloos (as my mouth was writing space-checks that my United Federation of Planets Bank couldn’t cash), but I will happily direct you to his website, to the Inferior 4 Livejournal where he regularly contributes items of interest, or to Amazonwhere you can track down many of his fine works, in print or digital formats.

In other news…man, after that story, do you really want other news? How ’bout this, since Employee Timmy sent this link to me via the Twitter: Dynamite and Dark Horse teaming up for a three-part crossover between Grendel and the Shadow, written and drawn by Matt Wagner. Holy crow. I find this…acceptable. Very acceptable indeed.

It was hard to find panels from this Archie comic that Chris Sims didn’t already post…I think.

filed under Categories archie, chris sims, golden age 7 Comments

So anyway, I read Afterlife with Archie #1, in which the zombie menace invades Riverdale, and now I think I’ve gone mad:


Also, the comic is fantastic. Beautifully illustrated by Francesco Francavilla, and written by Roberto Aquirre-Sacasa in such a way that the Riverdale zombie apocalypse actually makes sense within the Archie universe. Well, “makes sense” in that the entire comic is completely bonkers, but it’s a good kind of bonkers and I totally recommend it. Now, I have (as I write this) about ten hours to decide if I’m going to rack with the rest of the Archie comics on the “Fun for All Ages” shelves because I’m an awful person, or keep it separate from them because this really is a dark and gruesome (and yet fascinating) book. Well…we’ll see.

In other news…in case you were wondering where my current sidebar pic came from, here you go, straight from the Grand Comics Database:


I will bet 20 quatloos that the story is nowhere as amazing as that cover. (Another 10 quatloos that the story in no way even resembles that cover.)

In which I say I’m not going to respond to the comments, but I do so anyway. (Also, I usually compose these titles after I write my posts, in case you were wondering.)

filed under Categories dc comics, does mike ever shut up, retailing 10 Comments

The temptation to follow up to the comments on my Robot 6 interview is strong, but I think I’ll try to resist…mostly. A few folks there noted an actual, physical aversion to the very texture of DC’s 3D covers, which is a reaction I hadn’t heard at the shop. I did have a few people reject the 3D covers because they didn’t care for them visually, and others who expressed an aversion at paying $3.99 a pop, but people just plain not liking how they feel is a phenomenon I didn’t expect. Personally, I liked rubbing them together and listening to the zzzzzzip zzzzzzip sound, but perhaps I’ve said too much.

Interesting also is the gap between one commenter’s statement that “the idea any of these titles are going to be worth money in the future is laughable” and another’s statement that “these are going to be worth money.” The truth is somewhere between, as it often is, unless the eventual answer turns out to be “these will be worth exactly one visit to the King of the Moon!” which is waaaay outside the range established by the initial responses, admittedly. Right now, yeah, some of them are commanding Big EBay Bucks, but they’ll settle down to Slightly More Reasonable EBay Bucks in a few months, and I suspect future price guides, assuming a future industry to support publication of future price guides, will reflect slightly higher prices for these 3D issues over the issues that surround them. If the vast majority of them are going for any more than about $5 to $10 a year from now, I will be shocked, and thankfully the comments on this post will be closed by then in case I’m wrong. Anyway, in a year someone remind me to go look at the aftermarket pricing on these books and maybe I’ll write up a follow-up post, unless by then I’ve ejector-seated myself out of this crazy business and finally started doing something sensible, like deep-sea fishing.

The negative response to the comics themselves, not just in those comments but elsewhere on the Internet, are a bit of a surprise, too. Well, not much of a surprise since it’s currently DC’s turn to get kicked around by the online comic-gnoscenti, but in general my customers seemed to enjoy reading the comics, when they weren’t being frustrated by availability issues. Most of the ones I read I enjoyed, but, as I noted in an earlier post, I was generally just picking up the Villains Month issues for comics I was already reading (or featuring concepts I enjoyed, but shoved under the Justice League banner for the month), so I was predisposed to like the Villains Months issues I was buying. I liked most of the one-shots that tied into the main Batman book, for instance, but I passed on the Bane one-shot because, well, aside from the animated versions, and the amazing live-action version from the third Nolan Bat-film, I don’t much care for the character. I enjoyed the Doomsday issue of Superman/Batman, with its crazy-pants Krypton story and implications for how the Death of Superman now fits into New 52 continuity. We also got a new Mongul story in one of those Green Lantern one-shots, written by Mongul’s creator, Jim Starlin! That was pretty fantastic. And I enjoyed Swamp Thing‘s Arcane one-shot, as I’d discussed previously, and my issues with that particular comic were more related to the general Swampy-reboot as a whole than any specific Villains Month hoohar, but then, I’m Swamp Thing-obsessed so that should be expected. …And I’m sure some of you folks out there liked reading some of these villains comics as well.

In a more general sense (and I’ll stop using the word “general,” I promise) I don’t object to the idea of DC doing a big special event like this. If it gets people in stores and looking for comics, well, beggars can’t really be choosers, especially as the marketplace continues its ever-ongoing and seemingly-eternal upward scrabble out of the pit of the ’90s crash. I wish the event had been handled differently — let me insert right here the “NO DUH” you’re thinking right now. I wish it didn’t effectively make a bunch of titles weekly books for the month…I mean, if you were already getting all the Green Lantern books, you were basically buying a weekly GL comic anyway, but if you were only getting the main Green Lantern title, you may have felt compelled to get all four Villains Month issues, quadrupling your GL input, and that hardly seems fair. (Much in the same way Superior Spider-Man fans got about twenty issues of their title in nine months, Lucy-and-Ethyl-working-the-chocolate-conveyor-belt style). At the same time, just doing a Villains Month special for each of their regular titles would not have generated the same sales levels, probably; an All-Star Western 3D Villains Month special issue wouldn’t have generated the numbers of a fourth Superman special, hence that marketing decision.

In conclusion, I wish things were different and better and that everyone would be happy, and also I want more Swamp Thing titles, so long as I’m wishing for stuff. I also hope the next Big Event is not quite as headache-inducing, as long as I’m really wishing. And hopefully, that’s enough discussion of 3D covers on this site (until the aforementioned year-later post I may or may not do).

Next up: DIE-CUT COVERS – why these are a huge pain in the ass.

You’d think that of all the phrases, they’d have left “SHEER NIGHTGOWNS” on the VHS cover.

filed under Categories self-promotion, swamp thing 3 Comments

 

  • So just in case you wanted to read more of me picking at the scab of DC’s Villains Month — and geez, why wouldn’t you — here’s a long-ish interview I did over at Comic Book Resources on that very topic.

  • BEHOLD: Swamp Thing art! The Louis CK/Swamp Thing mash-up you requested, Cute Poison Ivy versus Cute Swamp Thing, and (people have been sending me this one a lot, and thanks to everyone…it was my work computer’s wallpaper for a while!) “If you see Swamp Thing, say Swamp Thing.” And then there’s my old pal Batfatty, much missed around these parts, who sent me a link to the Japanese VHS cover for Return of the Swamp Thing (based on the beautiful U.S. one-sheet, which I do have!).

  • A couple of weeks back I posted a link to a YouTube video of Video Comics, an early Nickelodeon program that would present print comics onscreen panel-by-panel, with voice actors and sound effects. The Swamp Thing episode didn’t feature the kids-on-bikes “Ride of the Valkyries” opening that many entries in the series had, but reader tvguy1979 sent along a link to a short promotional video which contains most of that missing intro.

“I’m anti-dragon!!”

filed under Categories jack kirby, swamp thing 7 Comments

1. Yes, it says “ret” in the first panel. Was that typo fixed in the recent Demon hardcover?

2. This little monkey-fella makes a reappearance in Saga of the Swamp Thing #25, #26 and #27 (1984):

I remember finding out at the time that Kamara (that monkey creature) had appeared in The Demon a decade before, and thinking “boy, there’s no way it can be as creepy as it was in Swamp Thing,” but I was wrong. So very wrong.

GAH.

 
 

images from The Demon #4 (December 1972) by Jack Kirby and Mike Royer; Saga of the Swamp Thing #25 (June 1984) by Alan Moore, Steve Bissette and John Totleben

 
 
(updated 8/2017)

Ha ha, that crow will surely suffer some kind of leg or back injury! Hilarious!

filed under Categories collecting, golden age 4 Comments

Here are a couple of funny animals books picked up at a recent local flea market while finding some goodies for the shop…Goofy Comics #24 (February 1948):


…and Krazy Krow #1 (1958, reprinting a comic from 1945):


I do so enjoy the off-brand (i.e. not Disney, Warner Bros., or DC Comics) funny animal comics from the Golden Age. So many oddball characters that only so briefly saw the light of day, and are now mostly gone and forgotten save for the occasional archaeological find like these.

The bags for these comics had, shall we say, optimistic pricing written upon them:


…which turned out to be Overstreet’s near mint pricing for the books. As it turned out, the comics were sold for much cheaper than the marked prices, which is a good thing since the seller had marked the near mint price for the original 1940s Krazy Krow comic, and not the decade-later reprint this was.

Anyway, I totally kept these for myself, which is one of the two perks I have at this job (the other being the cruel mistreatment of my employees). And I decided to just show them off in this post instead of writing out my usual overly-verbose Monday posts since I’m coming down with a cold, I think, and also I just watched the Breaking Bad finale and you seriously expect me to write anything after seeing that? C’mon.

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

filed under Categories End of Civilization 11 Comments

DC’s 3D cover shenanigans didn’t kill me, but the End of Civilization may yet finish me off, as we go through the October 2013 edition of Diamond Previews and see what horrors await in the not too distant future. So, grab your copy, either in physical form or that newfangled digital format that all you kids are into, and follow along:

p. 89 – Justice League 3000 #1:


Well, this certainly looks more inviting than Kevin Maguire’s version. Maybe they can just keep putting out the same first issue, drawn by a new artist every time. It can be like their tryout comic for new talent. Assuming any new talent still wants to enter this industry.

p. 110 – Batwoman #26:


Whew, interesting things were happening in this comic for a while now…thank goodness DC editorial put a stop to that!

p. 124 – Villains Month 3-D Motion Complete Set:


Only $199.99, or approximately the cost of what a copy of the 3-D Joker’s Daughter issue is going for right now.

p. 155 – Star Trek Annual 2013:


I would pay one American dollar if this fotocomic were to slowly morph the faces of the main characters from their Classic ’60s Era to their Reboot versions. “Spock, you’re…smoother. Less craggy. What’s…happened…to us?”

p. 333 – Down Set Fight!:


What th–!? A graphic novel? Written by Chris Sims? Now I know Previews‘s standards have fallen, when something like this takes up valuable space that could have been used to solicit orders for farting animal dolls, or vinyl figurines of Japanese bikini women in uncomfortable poses. CIVILIZATION…HAS TRULY ENDED.

p. 374 – Carl Lungren Rock Posters of the Psychedelic Era HC:


Man, She-Hulk got up to some weird stuff.

p. 375 – Marvel’s Avengers The Ultimate Character Guide HC:


And now, descriptions of characters that will never appear in Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..

p. 375 – DC Comics The Ultimate Character Guide HC:


And now, descriptions of characters that will probably be rebooted before you finish reading said descriptions.

p. 393 – Breaking Bad Trading Cards:


“Mom, the blue gum from this trading card pack tastes funny.”

p. 405 – Swamp Thing Organic T-Shirt:


DAMMIT. I’m pretty close to having Swamp Thing t-shirts for every day of the week, with the downside of I ALMOST NEVER WEAR T-SHIRTS. DC, please, just one Swamp Thing dress-up shirt. Long sleeves, button-down collar, big picture of Swamp Thing on the back…you know, like that.

p. 407 – DC Heroes Supergirl and Batgirl Pajama Sets:


Well, sure, after all those pictures of men in sexy men’s pajamas that have run in Previews over the years, it’s about time we got some purty ladies posing in the mag. It’s only fair.

…Wait. What?

p. 409 – Doctor Who TARDIS 1-Piece Pajamas:


“Wow, it’s bigger on the inside!”

“Are…are you saying I’m fat?”

“What? No! You know, the TV show, ‘bigger on the inside,’ what they always say about the TARDIS?”

“GET OUT. GET OUT NOW.”

p. 432 – Simpsons 25th Anniversary 24-Inch Jumbo Plushies:


“Is there any way we can make these dolls look creepier?” “How about some underlighting?” “JIMMY, MY BOY, GIVE YOURSELF A RAISE.”

p. 438 – Nightmare on Elm Street Video Game Freddy Krueger Action Figure:


An action figure based on an ’80s video game based on a pretty-much done horror film fad. …That more or less sums up Previews merchandise right there.

p. 442 – James Bond Breathers Evolution Replica Set:

“As a Navy Commander, James Bond is well versed in the sub-aquatic and has used numerous underwater gadgets in his five decades onscreen, two of the most famous being the ‘Breathers’ seen originally in 1965’s Thunderball, and then revisited in a revised form in 2002’s Die Another Day. While not the same prop, they share a common heritage and this set showcases their evolution. Both replicas in one set designed to honor and celebrate the art of the 007 film prop! Issued to Bond in the Bahamas, the Thunderball prop is famously used by 007 to infiltrate Largo’s lair through the shark infested pool. With direct homage to Thunderball, Bond is issued an updated version of the breather in Die Another Day. The Factory Entertainment Breather Evolution Set prop replicas were created after exhaustive and careful study of surviving props in the EON Productions archives and reference materials such as blueprints, photographs and reference documents. Both replicas come with a museum quality display stand, acrylic cover, numbered limited edition plaque, Certificate of Authenticity, and detailed prop story booklet.”

Well, I’m convinced. If you don’t have one of these in your home, you might as well just drop dead right now from shame.

p. 443 – The Twilight Zone Henry Bemis Book Replica:


Fake books and a pair of glasses that come with stickers to make them look broken. Not quite a wooden stake replica, but within spittin’ distance.

p. 445 – Star Wars Life-Size Vintage Stormtrooper Monument:


Let’s see, a few of these, some life size Ugnaughts, a life-size Boba Fett, a life-size Darth Vader, put ’em togther with my life-size Han Solo Frozen in Carbonite statue, and my Empire Strikes Back backyard diorama will be complete! I’ll be the envy of the neighborhood!

p. 478 – Doctor Who Fourth Doctor Monitor Mate Bobblehead:


Well, sure, who wouldn’t want that staring back at them from the top of their computer monitors?


“WHAT WEBSITE ARE YOU LOOKING AT? DON’T LOOK AT THAT WEBSITE! THAT WEBSITE IS NAUGHTY! I’M VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU”

aaaaaah please don’t punish me fourth doctor bobblehead

p. 484 – Dexter Spatter Analyst Bobblehead:


It bobbled normally until the Dexter finale aired, and now it just slowly shakes its head back and forth, back and forth.

p. 489 – The Walking Dead Billfold Wallets:


“Yeah, well, the funny thing is, I don’t have any money to put into my new Walking Dead wallet after spending it all on Walking Dead merchandise. O. HENRY, THE IRONY”

p. 489 – The Wizard of Oz Wicked Witch 20-Inch Leg Lamp:


“More like the CHEECH WIZARD of Oz, amirite?”

…I’m very sorry.

p. 490 – Cthulhu 4-Piece Pin Set:


“Keep calm and…’cthulhu f’htagn?’ Are you making fun of people who have fits?” “What? No, you see, there’s this monster….” “You’re saying people who have fits are monsters?” “Sigh.”

…This has been another installment of NERD PROBLEMS. Please tune in next week when our hero tries to explain why all those shower scenes in anime are important.

Marvel Previews p. 12-13 – Avengers #24.NOW:


Oh what the c**k is this s**t.

For those of you out there who thought I’d lost my marbles…

filed under Categories pal plugging, swamp thing 6 Comments

…well, I found them:


Well, actually, employee Timmy found them, and after he Instagrammed a pic of them to his Pinterest via Myspace, I bade him to bring those to me or suffer the horrible consequences. And thus, here they are, with a swamp-ish creature on the tag and the hope these marbles aren’t symbolically representing the creature’s eggs or anything. So anyway, if you happen to see me and have your marbles on you, I’ll happily knuckle down and play for keepsies with my boulder and my cats-eyes, though I suppose that would mean opening the baggie and, you know, God forbid.

In other news: Bully, the Stuffed Bull Who Is Too Little to Know about Such Things, has taken this post of mine and made it into something terrible and beautiful.