Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

filed under Categories End of Civilization 16 Comments

It seems like I just fell off the last Diamond Previews and here I am, being encouraged to jump back on and ride the new Previews lest I be scared of it in the future. So let’s take a peek and see what the April 2013 edition has in store for us…grab your copy and follow along:

p. 99 – Superman #21:


So Hector Hammond is still paralyzed, right? Does he use his vast mental powers to control others in order to maintain his sweet mustache? “SLICK THE MUSTACHE TENDRILS, MY HELPLESS PUPPET.”

…I’m going to guess this won’t be covered in this issue of Superman.

p. 105 – Batman The Dark Knight #21:


“The grand finale to the origin of the Mad Hatter is here….” What, already? I guess we had to wrap that up quickly to make room for the forthcoming 24-part RETURN OF THE MANIKIN.

p. 122 – Justice League Dark #21:


“Guest-starring the Flash and Swamp Thing!” …Surely there is no more magical phrase than this.

p. 232 – The Walking Dead Action Figures Series 2:

“The Governor’s Daughter Zombie (Penny) features 12 points of articulation and includes a bucket of fresh body parts (severed leg, severed foot, severed hand, intestines, heart & Rick’s severed hand) and a fish tank with trophy heads.”

There must have been a time when a product like this would have made me pause for a moment and wonder just what the world had come to. But now I just think “I bet we can sell a few of these” and plan orders accordingly.

p. 261 – Archie #645:


Hmmm…which cover should I order more of for the shop? Which one? This sure is a headscratcher.

p. 393 – Man of Steel The Official Novelization MMPB:

“What was I supposed to do?” Clark asked plaintively. “Let ’em die?”

Pa Kent stared off into the distance. “Maybe,” he replied curtly.

IF PA KENT JUST STOPS IT THERE AND WALKS OFF, LEAVING CLARK TO THINK THAT PERHAPS HE SHOULD JUST LET PEOPLE DIE TO PROTECT HIS SECRET IDENTITY IN DIRECT CONTRADICTION TO EVERY PORTRAYAL OF PA KENT EVER, TURN TO PAGE 221

IF PA KENT ACTUALLY HAS MORE TO SAY TO PROVIDE SUPPORT TO CLARK IN HIS TIME OF SELF-DOUBT, AND ACTUALLY DOESN’T THINK CLARK SHOULD JUST LET PEOPLE DIE, DESPITE THE MOVIE TRAILER BEING EDITED TO IMPLY THAT’S HIS ENTIRE RESPONSE, TURN TO PAGE 278

p. 414 – The Walking Dead Comic “The Governor” Black T-shirt:


“Who’s that?”

“The Governor.”

“Which governor?”

“You know, the bad guy from The Walking Dead.”

“That doesn’t look like him.”

“It’s the comic book version.”

“…There’s a comic book?”

p. 419 – Walking Dead One-Eyed Zombie Metal Bottle Opener:


So the trend here is to incorporate a more and more elaborate hole in the bottle opener design, like the eye in the zombie above, or Ghost Rider’s mouth here in the bottle opener from page 422:


Okay, so here’s your money maker, Internet: Goatse bottle opener. You’re welcome. Also, if you don’t know, don’t Google it.

p. 426 – DC Classic TV 1966 Batman Moment Action Figure 2-Packs:


Oh my goodness, action figures recreating the famous wall-climbing sequences from the 1960s Batman TV show! Now all I need are action figures for Sammy Davis Jr, Colonel Klink, Dick Clark, Sam Stone, the Carpet King, Art Linkletter, the Green Hornet and Kato, Don Ho, Suzy Knickerbocker, Edward G. Robinson, Jerry Lewis, Jose Jimenez, Santa Claus, and Lurch, and I can recreate all the window cameo scenes!

p. 428 – Skeptical Rice Buddy 11″ Plush:


This grain of rice isn’t putting up with any of your homeopathy or “psychic” powers nonsense. And you should see the beard on the James Randi Rice Buddy.

p. 447 – Star Wars Business Card Holders Han Solo & R2-D2:


“Please…take my card.”

“Sure…whoa! That’s a sweet business card holder, Your Holiness!”

p. 455 – Doctor Who Mugs:


This kind of reminds me of when you see an old, dry snail shell…hollow, depressingly empty. Clearly this mug is just Davros’ chair with old, dried up Davros scraped out it.

p. 461 – Star Wars Tie-Fighter Webcam:


NEW FOR YOUR TIE FIGHTERS: TIE-NUTZ! SHOW THE REBELS YOU’VE GOT BALLS WITH THIS HILARIOUS SPACE SHIP ACCESSORY!

p. 492 – Monopoly The Walking Dead Survival Edition PX Board Game:


“Go to Jail. Spend the Entirety of Season Three in Jail.”

Marvel Previews p. 10 – Age of Ultron #10:


Maybe they should have polybagged every news story, Twitter feed and website that’s already revealed the shocking surprise ending a week ago.

From the back room of misfit toys.

filed under Categories misfit toys, star wars 10 Comments

Well, okay, technically this isn’t from the back room, but rather from a recently acquired collection of stuff, things, items and doodads, but man, I had no idea this even existed:


The Chewbacca Bandolier Strap from 1983, where you can, I don’t know, strap it to your body and act out some weird Star Wars-ian twist on Dr. Shrinker with Peter Mayhew in the place of Jay Robinson?

Here’s a closer look at the picture on the box, with the victims your Star Wars pals in place:


Chewie looks a little freaked out there, understandably so since he’s trapped in a giant version of his own sole piece of clothing.

I dared to open the box, seeing as it was barely being held shut by dried-out masking tape and not exactly “mint,” and here’s what I found inside:


In case you’re wondering, yes, I did briefly contemplate donning this item and posing for pictures for the site, but 1) this bandolier is darned small, and I’m not even sure it would have fit around my neck, much less my torso, and 2) surely there are enough terrible pictures of me on the Internet already. Oh, and 3)


…those little foam packing pieces wedged into the belt are thirty years old and have become surprisingly flaky and sticky and not something I want coming in contact with my fancy dress shirts. Or my bare chest, not that I thought about taking Chewbacca bandolier photos like that. At all.

Anyway, here’s a better look at the bandolier in action:


Chewbacca’s the one on the right.

Here’s everything else in the box…a catalog, the two pouches, and a decal sheet with stickers for said pouches:


There’s probably a bra joke there, but I’m not going to make it.


“…and definitely not weed. Do not put your weed in the pouches!”


“IT’S A SNAP!”

In case you need an adult-sized Chewbacca bandolier, well, a quick Googling reveals lots of people making and selling replicas, but of course you can always just make your own.

So Burt Ward got top credit at least once.

filed under Categories adam west, batman 19 Comments

So of course it’s during my brief blogging sabbatical that the biggest, most amazing comic news of all time is unleashed upon us. No, not that Marvel apparently had to outsource for a new cosmic character since, you know, they didn’t have enough of them. And no, not that DC’s “Event Formerly Known As WTF Certified Month” seems to be about 75% “Special Surprise Guest Star Month” so far.

No, it’s all about a new Batman comic based on the 1960s TV show starring Best Batman, Adam West. And, naturally, mustachioed Joker:

It’s a digital-first comic, with a print edition to follow, and features the work of writer Jeff Parker, artist Jonathan Case, and cover artist Mike Allred.

Not that I’ve been keeping close tabs on reactions thus far, but from what little I’ve seen people seem to very positive about this development…quite the change from a couple of decades back, when folks were getting the vapors over the fact that a guy who made comedies was going to direct a Batman movie starring a comedic actor and oh my God it was going to be the campy ’60s Batman TV show all over again, will comic fans never get respect? (Of course, the resulting film was sufficiently “dark” and “gritty” to keep those fans happy, though really it’s just as amusingly peculiar and goofy and, um, well, campy as the rest of the Burton oeuvre.)

Anyway, I’m thrilled about this new Batman ’66 comic, and can’t wait for it. When it comes out, if it’s not the best-selling comic of the 21st century thus far, then we will have failed as a civilization. Not that you should feel any pressure or anything, Jeff ‘n’ Jon.

Of course, I realize not everyone has achieved sufficient enlightenment to realize the beauty of Adam West Batman, and thus come with me back to the mid-1960s, via this January 8-14, 1967 copy of the TV Weekly insert from the Los Angeles Herald Examiner, coincidentally enough discovered in a comic collection we were processing just last week:


That’s a swell Dragnet cover, yes, but let us look to the letters page therein, where someone wrote in to complain that his favorite TV show was getting the hook because it could not compete with a certain Caped Crusader:


Wow. Just imagine how this guy would react to the idea of “Bronies.”

Well, let’s see here, what was going on Thursday night at 7:30:


Just look at that. How is anything going to compete with the triple-blast of the Joker and the Penguin and Venus? Sorry, Jericho and, apparently, Daniel Boone.

And sorry, D., but this moronic adult thinks the 1960s Batman TV show is a thing of beauty, and I’m glad to see it still being appreciated, all these years later.

BONUS BAT-HATER CONTENT, courtesy that atomic bomb in a human body, pal Andrew, who passed along this Letter of Comment from the April 1st, 1966 issue of Life Magazine, reacting to a recent cover feature on the Adam West Half-Hour Costumed Adventure Theatre television program:


Holy Dramatic Overreaction, Batman!

Sorry for the extended outage.

filed under Categories sick day 5 Comments

I’ve been ill, and spending my evenings either resting or Netflix-binging on season one of Once Upon A Time.

I’ll be back on Monday…unless of course I decide to get Once Upon A Time season two from iTunes.

IN THIS POST: minor spoilers for forthcoming Swamp Thing events. Also, nudity.

filed under Categories swamp thing 2 Comments

 

  • So some of the “WTF Certified” covers are getting put out there in advance of release, revealing the full fold-out “shocking” image (though the “WTF” logo itself won’t appear on the comics, cooler heads having prevailed). Well, at least one cover has made it out, anyway, since it’s the only one that’s popped up in my Google search alerts, for what should be obvious reasons.

    It looks like the big shocking surprise is a big-name guest star making his second appearance in this series, revealing that his terrible costume hasn’t become less terrible in the year and a half since the last time he visited. Despite that, the issue looks like it could be fun…at the very least, it’s not yet another chapter in the Rotworld storyline, so there’s that.

  • If you can bear going to Facebook for this, there’s an announcement that the first Swamp Thing movie is going to be released on Blu-Ray by Scream Factory (a division of Shout! Factory), so you can finally see the zippers on the costumes with all the clarity they deserve. You’ll see a lot of complaining in the comments about the fact this will be the 91-minute theatrical release, and not the 93-minute “international” version with the extra nekkidness from Adrienne Barbeau and others.

    Some folks in the comments seem to believe that there is NO Topless Barbeau in the 91-minute version, which as far as I know (based on previous careful examination of the original VHS release) is not the case. It is possible that the second DVD release (replacing the initial DVD release, which did have all the “extras,” as it were) had all the salacious material removed, including the slightly briefer scenes of Ms. Barbeau’s bathing that had existed in previous home video and theatrical releases. I only own the first version of the DVD, not the replacement version, so perhaps some kind reader could verify if such surgery was in fact performed in the second release. Or I’ll just have to rent the stupid thing from Netflix myself. You know, for the public good.

    I suspect I have spent a lot of time on this site discussing nudity in Swamp Thing movies. …I’m not proud.

    Anyway, it’ll be nice to have any version of the movie on Blu-ray, since my original DVD is not anamorphic. But it is very, very naughty.

Insert joke here about Stan Lee being some new guy they’re trying out on a start-up title rather than risking him on any established books.

filed under Categories marvel, retailing 10 Comments

So I came across a copy of the Marvel Comics Previews promo catalog “for new publications scheduled to ship in 1992” –


…and I’d somehow totally blanked on the fact that the Marvel 2099 imprint was going to be called “Marvel 2093” at one point:


In the “marketing” section, it describes this particular marketing initiative thusly:

“These titles literally are ‘Marvel: the Next Generation’ and if you remember the popularity of other popular series with that designation you’ll be able to imagine how well these books will do.”

Well, sure, I loved Match Game: The Next Generation, AKA Match Game ’73, and sure enough, the 2099 line (as it would later be called, when cooler heads prevailed and decided “2099” was exactly six years’ worth of awesome better than that piddling “2093”) did indeed do very well. At least until the entire comics market tanked shortly thereafter, but, you know, whaddaya gonna do?

Anyway, back to the catalog: each title had its own entry, with a logo and a rough sketch of what the character may or may not look like when the comic was finally beaten into shape:


And just look at those creative teams!


Okay, to be fair, at least one writer was on board at print time:


The text pieces for all the books describe them in the most general of terms, usually along the lines of “like the modern day Marvel heroes, only more future-y,” without any specifics like character names, settings, how exactly the characters are going to be different, etc. Well, the entry for Doom 2093 pushes the “is this really the Doom from the present-day Marvel Universe?” angle, so that hook at least was present this early in the development process.

This catalog is an interesting look back at Marvel’s marketing strategies during comics’ last big sales hurrah, and I suspect, as I dig deeper through its pages, I’m going to wax nostalgic over those salad days when you could sell a comic such as Punisher 2093 like this:

“It will also be a natural must buy for all the fans who picked up the Punisher Armory title this year. People have always associated the Punisher with the latest in hi-tech ordnance and this series takes the association to the ultimate degree. Just remember the success of Terminator 2 or Die Hard to envision the vast potential for this series.”

Probably the first and last time the sales success of the amazing Punisher Armory was used as a marketing tool for another book.

…Says the guy who’s been buying all the Star Wars novels.

filed under Categories this week's comics 6 Comments


So as Tim noted on the Twitters, reference is made in Green Lantern Corps #18 to a particular tragic event in John Stewart’s life that, in its original context of the Cosmic Odyssey mini-series, could not have happened as presented given the brave New 52 world that all the DC Universe comic books live in now. It probably doesn’t take much of a stretch to imagine that said event could still have happened under some as-yet-untold new continuity circumstances, but until that tale is told, there it sits, a fossil of a shared universe that’s had its rooms torn down, rebuilt, or otherwise redecorated.

Also, I’m already a little tired of this “First Lantern” thing…the “here’s how your life could have been different” torture he’s putting characters through is already run to the ground. Plus, that’s not even considering the fact that your characters’ histories just went through a huge reboot anyway, so what’s at stake, really? …I’ve been generally enjoying the GL books as a whole enough to put up with this, I guess, but I’m ready for the story to progress.


Okay, everyone can come out of their homes…the Before Watchmen initiative is nearly over, though we still have an issue of Comedian to go, and there’s a missing-in-action epilogue that’s supposed to wrap all this up, though, technically, wouldn’t that epilogue just be Watchmen?

Amusingly, the Wikipedia entry on the series notes critical reaction to most of the titles, ranging from “mostly negative” to “mixed” to “mostly positive,” leaving out the possibly more accurate “entirely appalled” reflecting some commentators. Of the bunch, this series, Ozymandias, was probably the best, possibly because it was written by someone (Len Wein) who’d been involved in the original series. It’s certainly beautifully illustrated…that Jae Lee sure does draw purty. Of course, that’s all aside from the arguments of “was this trip really necessary?” (not really), and as far as sales go, it went from “strong interest from customers,” to “oh crap, there are a lot of these, aren’t there,” to “well that was several weeks without a new Before Watchmen, I guess I’m no longer interested in buying these” to becoming solid mid-range sellers. Not moving huge numbers, but okay, dependable numbers. When the solicitations for the reasonably-probable Before Watchmen 2 or After Watchmen eventually pop up in Previews, I’ll know what to order.

And over the course of the multiple series, we did get “THE SECRET ORIGIN OF RORSCHACH’S ‘END IS NIGH’ SIGN,” and thus did the event justify itself.


The previous series, Cargo of Doom, did only so-so for us, which surprised me considering the strength of its creative team of Mark Waid and Chris Samnee. I’m chalking that up to Too Many Rocketeer Comics Too Quickly, since we just came off that Rocketeer Adventures 2 anthology, whose sales weren’t even really a patch on the previous Adventures anthology. However, this series, by Roger Langridge and J. Bone, is receiving extra interest and pull-list adds from our customers. Hopefully I can talk some of them into checking out the previous mini, which is just as fun as this new series.

While I like Hollywood Horror, and I do love the work of Walt Simonson, I can’t say that the Simonson covers on this series are doing anything for me. While we’ve now seen that the Rocketeer franchise can succeed in storytelling without slavishly copying creator Dave Stevens (J. Bone’s looser, more cartoony style being a whole different world from Stevens’ more representational, yet still lively and fun, work), Simonson’s Rocketeer…I don’t know, just doesn’t feel right to me, both here and on the previous cover. I feel bad saying that, but it doesn’t say “Rocketeer” to me, like it’s not…”streamlined” enough or something. Or it’s the awkward figure posing. Man, I don’t know how to explain it. I mean, maybe it’s just me. Don’t pay any attention to all that…just buy the comic.


So it’s just plain ol’ Original Trilogy Star Wars action with no interminable ancient histories starring Darth Menacingname or future events with 70-year-old Luke, Leia and Han telling invading aliens to get off their space-lawns while their likely-to-be-retconned-out-of-existence children run around and fight battles and have romances with new Expanded Universe characters nobody cares about. And it’s a lot of fun, and requires no knowledge of Star Wars stuff beyond what you’ve seen in the films. And unsurprisingly, it’s the best selling Star Wars comic in years.

It’s probably doomed as soon as the comics license reverts to Marvel and the big Star Wars Episode 7 push begins, but I’ll happily enjoy it in the meantime.

44.

filed under Categories old 20 Comments


 
 

Happy birthday also to pal Andrew, whose impending decrepitude is just slightly farther away than my own.

In which Mike was too lazy to scan all these himself.

filed under Categories gil kane, green lantern 8 Comments

So the other day I noticed our Green Lantern back issue section was getting a tad thin, so I did a little restocking. As I did so, I was reminded of that particular storyline in the early 1980s where Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern of Earth, was ordered by that gang of little blue Angry Police Captains to keep an eye on the rest of his assigned space sector instead of just hanging around his home planet all the time.

Thus, starting in issue #151, Hal was exiled from his homeworld and embarked on a series of exciting space adventures that, if memory serves, readers didn’t much care for, and I think didn’t sell all that well (i.e. only achieved sales numbers that Marvel and DC would beg for today).

The “Hal in Space” story more or less wrapped up in issue #171 (Dec. ’83):


…which featured some swell Alex Toth interior art, a “goodbye” of sorts to supporting character Dorine (who featured heavily in this storyline), and a script that was mucked about so much that it got Alan Smithee’d with a pseudonymous credit of “Noel Naive.” (There’s a little about that in the Grand Comics Database entry for this issue.)

And then the next issue, #172, kicked off the new creative team of Len Wein and Dave Gibbons, and all was forgiven, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about.

I’m here to talk about some of those swell Gil Kane covers that popped up on this run. As I was processing some of these back issues for pricing, I was enjoying Kane’s imagery on many of these covers. Kane of course is the artist arguably most associated with the Silver Age version of the character, and ballyhooed as such on this issue early in the space-exile storyline:


Aside from this issue, which also featured Kane interiors, there were seven Kane covers altogether, bunched together at the very end of the run…here they are, all “borrowed” from the Grand Comics Database (except the already pictured #171, scanned from my own collection):


The couple of “generic-y” covers they used, which don’t refer at all to the stories within, have me wondering if they dipped into some inventory images due to deadline issues, budget, not knowing what was actually going to run in the issues, etc. Regardless, those are some great Kane images, making for some attractive-looking comics even if the series itself wasn’t all that well-received at the time. Kane would return with another probably-inventory cover for this deadline-doom reprint issue, and then he’d come back for covers and interiors for the last two issues of the series. (And I think there were some art jobs in annuals somewhere in there as well.)

Anyway, this post was just an entirely transparent attempt to enjoy these covers again, and hopefully some of you enjoyed them as well. Kane’s art definitely flips that nostalgia switch for me.

Also, that “exiled in space” storyline? Only lasted 21 issues. Seemed like it was around forever…but at least it was around long enough to generate this fantastically tasteless cover, which makes it all worth it.

Just to show that I am paying attention.

filed under Categories collecting, flaming carrot 10 Comments

A few of you responded to this post in which I wondered what I should read after finishing all the B.P.R.D. comics (which I’m nearly done with, by the way!).

John suggests Planetary, which is a good one, and in fact I did reread the series just prior to the long awaited last issue being released a couple of years ago. I could probably stand to read it again, but may give it a while since it still feels like it’s maybe too soon since the last reread.

Michael suggests Yummy Fur, which is fair enough since I just made a big hoohar over finally completing my run. Believe it or not, I’m not really ready for a Yummy Fur reread…I’ve reread Yummy Fur lots of times, relying on the trade paperback for the initial part of the “Ed the Happy Clown” story, and then reading the single issues that continued Ed’s story, and on through the autobiographical (and semi-autobiographical) stuff. When I finally got that issue #9, I read the Bible story back-up since I hadn’t had the opportunity to read it before. And then I put the number #9 in with my numbers 1 through 8 and 10 through 32, and then my full run of Yummy Fur and I pranced though the grassy fields, hand in hand. …I’ll probably sit down and read it straight through sooner or later, though.

Bruce and “Snark Shark” both recommend Grimjack, one of my all-time favorite series and one I do reread, not necessarily in whole but at least in part, every once in a while. I did a full reread of the series a few years back, and have since gone back and reread an issue or seven here and there when the mood strikes me. I’m pretty sure I wrote about reading the James Twilley-era Grimjack here on the site…or at least I posted a lot about Grimjack after reading all those Twilley issues.

Bruce also suggests, along with David G, Legion of Super-Heroes, which David favoring the ’70s/’80s material, while Bruce extolls the virtues of the Legion era circa Legion Lost (original, not the New 52 version). I have been a Legion man, as David G asks, for many, many years, only recently giving up on the franchise following the, what, fourteenth or fifteenth reboot. I almost, almost, got back on the wagon when I saw that Keith Giffen was drawing an issue or two of the New 52 Legion, and that the Fatal 5 were coming back, and oh boy oh boy the Legion fanboy buried deep within me nearly clawed his way back to the surface, but I stopped him just in time.

…I have reread some short runs of Legion not long ago, such as the “Great Darkness Saga,” and I feel like I reread all the “Five Year Later” stories straight through to the Zero Hour “conclusion” not too long ago (well, maybe about ten years ago), so I’m probably good on those for the time being. However, those later stories that Bruce mentions, the Legion Lost and Legion Worlds comics, I may go back to soon. …I don’t even remember what Legion Worlds is about, so that’s probably a good candidate for a return visit.

philfromgermany is going to make me admit my secret shame: I’ve only read a smattering of Suicide Squad, Hourman and the Christopher Priest Black Panther. …I know, I know, I’m a horrible human being and should be ashamed to call myself a comics fan, but I can say I did like what I read, and should the opportunity arise, I’ll attempt to read them all in toto. (“You stay out of Toto!” “Sorry, Dorothy!”)

Aaron asks, in regards to my Flaming Carrot mention, if I backed the Kickstarter to reprint issues 6 through 12 of the series. Sadly, I did not, but I am glad that the Carrot comics are remaining available for people to read. I really do think that’s going to be the next Big Reread for me, though I’m sure it’ll remind me I don’t have the Kilian Barracks one-shot which always frustrates me. (But I have at least read it at one point, so I can’t complain too much.) I’m especially looking forward to rereading the Carrot comics with Harvey Jerkwater’s particular interpretation in mind.

And in response to Bill: I mean removable labels like these to seal your comics. Pretty much the only thing I use to seal comic bags at home and at the shop. Avoid those pesky tape tears!

• • •

Thanks to everyone for your kind words regarding my post about Errol. I’m still in that phase where I’m still not quite accepting the idea that we’re never going to see him again. I mean, it doesn’t seem like he’s passed away…he only came to the store once a month, with calls between, so right now it just feels like he’s running a little behind on his regular schedule, not that he’s gone forever.

…Sigh. Stop dying, people I like.