scans

If there’s a better sci-fi phrase than “set blasters to flesh,” I don’t know what it is.
 

from Star Lord #1 (May 1978) by T.B. Grover and Carlos Ezquerra

from Tip Top Comics #211 (Nov-Jan 1958)

from Showcase #82 (May 1969) by Denny O’Neil, Jerry Grandenetti & Dick Giordano

Ooh, Lanny Lummox, no good can come of using your kung fu skills in the service of evil. Karma will catch up to you…

…except the Raccoon Kids, Rollo and Rudy, get involved, and somehow trick you into using the bags of flour that were actually inside the box to bake pies, which the kids take and eat, except for the few they convince you into putting under the “money tree” outside and having you wait for cash to flutter down upon them:

Thus is your avarice and misuse of martial arts rewarded. Though I suppose you will finally get what’s coming to you when the authorities figure out who took the money lost from the armored truck. …Enjoy spending your eventual nickel up the river at the graybar hotel, Lanny Lummox.

images from Raccoon Kids #62 (October-November 1956)

…That is all.

from World’s Finest #129 (November 1962) by Dave Wood, Jim Mooney & Sheldon Moldoff
– reprinted in DC Special #8 (July-September 1970)

…so here’s a 1976 Marvel Super Hero Stamp featuring Sub-Mariner fighting an octopus:

At least, I assume they’re fighting.

…eBay*:

…Mary caught on to the whole “‘accidentally’ using the telescope to look through apartment windows” story**:

…comic publishers realized they shouldn’t ask fans
what they wanted to see***:

…Powerpoint****:

images from 100-Page Super Spectacular #DC-18 (July 1973)

* “Cake shows some light crumbling at the edges. Kept in smoke-free home. Certificate of Cake-thenticity included. Numbered #1221/8500.”

** Turns out “focussed” is an accepted, but little-used (at least in the U.S.) spelling of the word. Maybe I can get a Fake AP entry out of this.

*** Yes, yes, they actually haven’t learned this yet. Case in point.

**** So Superman actually drew a little picture of himself succumbing to Kryptonite. That’s…a bit peculiar.

So I was looking through some of Bob Rozakis’s “Answer Man” columns, which ran through DC’s comic books in the ’70s and a wee bit into the ’80s, and this particular question caught my eye:

Well, eventually both things come to pass…there have been several Human Target comics in the years since, and there have been not one, but two TV series. I was amused that the answer to this specific question was so exactly negated.

Some other Answer Man questions and responses I came across:

The joke here is too easy:

Frankly, I’m not even sure this question needed to be asked. It’s all right there, man:

(In case you were wondering.)

I didn’t even remember this, but of course Mark Waid didn’t forget…that man forgets nothing:

I will die if they bring it back 1) in current continuity (“Hey, technically I’m not flying across the country…I’m cruising comfortably“), or 2) it pops up on Smallville, where it would probably just be a Ford Festiva painted red ‘n’ blue:

And then there’s this:

“You’ve menaced the world with your secular humanism for the last time, Luthor!”