Mikester

I use the word “also” a lot in this post, but I’m too sleepy to care.

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So I just got in from one of our store’s semi-occasional Midnight Madness sales, where pal Andres helped out through the entire evening, and Awesome Hospital‘s Matt Digges brought me a case of Diet Coke as tribute, and also it was Employee Aaron’s fiancée Kempo’s birthday, and anyway, I’m tired, so all you’re getting today is that Questprobe computer game screenshot above, apparently from Hulk’s Bondage & Domination Adventure. Thanks indeed,Joe ‘n’ Jim!

Oh, also, I helped Moment of [Alan] Moore again, so enjoy.

Plus, pals Dorian and Ken have once again produced their monthly movie trailer reviews…only this time enlisting the Bureau Chiefs, including myself, to contribute their own reviews. I’m a terrible reviewer, but I did my best. Also, we have a book coming out this Tuesday, perhaps you’ve heard.

Okay, that’s enough…I gotta be back at work in about ten hours, so I’m getting some shut-eye. See you folks tomorrow!

Have I got some funny out-of-context comic panels for you!

filed under Categories here comes the april fool 25 Comments

…Like this one!


Man, who is Aunt May talking to? I don’t see anyone! She’s asking someone who’s not there to bring her a mop! That’s hilarious!

And get a load of this!


Doom clearly had someone on his staff specifically for going around his castle and lighting candles in the light fixtures. That’s totally crazy!

What’s going on in this next image?


Why, Archie’s about to be arrested for assaulting those three guys, of course! Boy, is he in trouble!

And check this out!


Three of the heroes are worried about their wives or girlfriends, while Batman has no woman in his life, and therefore only has to worry about his crimefighting partner, with whom he’s clearly shaken hands following a successful capture of an arch-criminal and passed on the “doom” described by the villain in that panel! Just goes to show you that there’s more than one way these evil fiends can trip up our favorite heroes!

And then in this panel:


…well, actually, I don’t get what’s funny about this one.

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

filed under Categories End of Civilization 18 Comments

ME: SWM, early 40s, non-smoker, reading through latest issue of Diamond Previews, April 2011: YOU: Following along in your own copy. LIKES: Long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, cracking wise on direct market merchandise, making obscure Green Lantern references:

p. 114 – Showcase Presents The Trial of the Flash TP:


Hopefully this story won’t kill the Showcase line of books like it did the Silver Age Flash series.

NOTE: I actually liked this run of comics. Don’t yell at me.

p. 115 – Firestorm The Nuclear Man TP:


Apparently this month is “DC Reprinting Series You Weren’t Expecting Month,” what with the original Firestorm series, a Secret Society of Super-Villains hardcover, some ’80s Legion of Super-Heroes, etc. Will DC kick down a reprint of those post-Wrightson ’70s Swamp Things, or those pre-Moore ’80s Swamp Things, so long as they’re delving into Reprinting the Unexpected territory.

p. 137 – Green Lantern Series 4 Action Figure – Arkkis Chummuck:


With exciting “eating the corpses of his fallen enemies” action!

p. 139 – Women of the DC Universe Series 3 Zatanna Bust:


“If only there were some way I could misdirect people from my hands while performing magic. Some way….”

p. 228 – Archie & Friends #186:


It’s the Cosplay special, with the just vaguely-upsetting image of Jughead as Spock:


…though it wasn’t until I scanned this pic and saw the larger image that I noticed Sabrina apparently dressed as Slave Leia:


Oh dear. Is nothing sacred?

p. 228 – Archie Babies Original Graphic Novel:


I’ve got nothing to say here. I’m just going to leave this here for you to think about, in those quiet times, late at night, when the fears and insecurities prey upon the edges of your awareness as you try to sleep and sleep just does not come.

Also, apparently Jughead still wears the same hat as a teenager that he did when he was a toddler. Well, I know I’d be lost today if it weren’t for my adult-size Garanimals.

p. 229 – Veronica #207:


SOLICITATION TEXT BEFORE THE KEVIN KELLER MOVIE:

“Kevin Keller returns to Riverdale in the pages of his own mini-series, from superstar writer/artist Dan Parent!”

AFTER THE KEVIN KELLER MOVIE:

“Kevin Keller returns to Riverdale in the pages of his own mini-series, from Goldwater-founded Archie Comics!”

p. 253 – Lady Death #6 Art Deco Order Incentive Cover:


I have to admit “Art Deco Cover” sounds a bit classier than “Crotch Close-Up Cover.”

p. 266 – Red Sonja Statue Inspired by J. Scott Campbell:


Just glancing through the catalog, when I first spotted this page I thought I saw something entirely different from what is actually here. “Boy, I’ve got such an itch back there….”

p. 344 – Star Wars The Official Figurine Collection Magazine:


Man, Lucas’ insistence that Greedo was molded into a die cast figurine first really doesn’t sit well with me.

p. 344 – Star Wars Heir to the Empire 20th Anniversary Edition HC:


Just noting this is 20 years old. And it was originally published about, what, fourteen years after the first Star Wars came out?

…Feeling old yet? Good, then I’m not alone.

p. 378 – Indie Spotlight Series 2 Action Figure 2-Packs:


Includes Zen, Intergalactic Ninja. Image unclear on whether it’s Zen with mouth or without.

p. 382 – Mega Bloks Hello Kitty Flower Shop Set:


Also on this page is the Hello Kitty House Set, and the Hello Kitty Candy Shop set, and the Hello Kitty School House set. Not pictured: the Hello Kitty Abattoir, the Hello Kitty Hooters, the Hello Kitty Military Surplus Warehouse.

p. 395 – Disney by Britto Jiminy Cricket Figurine:


I wish I knew more about sports and was aware what team had as their colors lime green and forest green, because I totally had a “Jiminy is clearly prepped for the next _______ home game!” gag ready to go.

p. 400 – The Twilight Zone Mystic Seer Replica:


Read that line near the end:

“Can’t you just see this in your living room or office?”

So now Diamond Previews is totally doing its own “End of Civilization” riffing, is it?

p. 404 – Ghostbusters Lucy Bishoujo Statue:


Here’s hoping Dan Ackroyd wears this exact outfit in the next possibly-theoretical Ghostbusters movie. “Uh, Ray…I can see your thong.” “Don’t get uptight, Egon…I am enjoying unrestricted movement in this new uniform!”

p. 410 – Ghostbusters Mugs No Ghost Logo:


“I’d like the mug with No Ghost.”

“All the mugs have ghosts on them.”

“No, no…I want No Ghost!”

“I really can’t help you. There are ghosts on all these mugs.”

“AAAAUGH.”

p. 416 – Batman X Mimobot 4-Gigabyte USB Flashdrives:

Obvious joke coming in 3…2…


“Holy macrocephaly, Batman!”

p. 419 – Naruto Shippuden – Tobi Mask:


So there’s a guy in Naruto disguised as a one-eyed pastry? I’m not sure how I feel about that.

p. 433 – Dungeons & Dragons The Dungeon Master’s Keep DM Screen:

The Dungeon Master’s Keep is the perfect bastion of secrecy from which DMs can run their adventures and campaigns! The Dungeon Master’s Keep is cast from durable resin and comes pre-painted and ready to use right out of the box. The gatehouse is secured by two stout doors with a pair of familiar-looking door knockers, and above the doorway hangs the D&D 4th Edition Dragon Icon. Behind the screen are numerous shelves to store miniatures, game cards and other record-keeping notes. Two handy trays are built into the walls to hold your GF9 Dungeon Master’s Tokens. Plus, the towers of the gatehouse also serve as dice towers, with one tower facing out to your players (the rolled die exiting from a door in the tower) and one securely behind the screen for private rolls.

In case you’re wondering…yes, this is the single most awesome thing in this entire catalog. Worth every single penny of its $150 price tag. Yes, I’m totally serious.

Sleepytime link-logging.

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  • So some of the folks from Fake AP Stylebook have a little something in the online edition of The Wall Street Journal. Take a gander and discover…”Grammar’s Dirty Little Secret.” Also, buy our bookplease. Or the Kindle version.

  • Andrew tackles a new Nobody’s Favorite, this time written by, and starring, an actress we actually had at the shop for a signing for this particular comic at the time. The comic was…eh, but she was very nice, and good with the fans who showed up.

  • Gerry at CO2 Comics ponders the language of comics.

  • So this was on the front page of Yahoo! a couple of days ago:


    Well, I know I hadn’t heard of cobras until seeing the Indiana Jones films.

    Okay, maybe they probably meant a specific type of cobra, but c’mon.

    • I could talk about current comic news and review recent releases, or I can look at more 1970s Marvel Super Hero Stamps.

    filed under Categories merchandise 6 Comments

    I know which I’m choosing!

    I have this package here that showed up in some collection or ‘nother of Marvel Stamps (as seen here):


    …that contains several uncut sheets of said stamps. Since each package is supposed to only contain 10 stamps, plus one “special stamp,” obviously this package was only kept to store the stamps. Why the original owner didn’t go out “get [his] own Marvel Stamp Album,” as is blurbed on the back, I do not know.

    Below are the five “special stamps” that this person had…they are normally sort of a shiny gold-ish color, but they didn’t scan all that well. Or rather, I didn’t scan them all that well. Should probably look at the scanner’s instruction book one of these days.


    I like how the Hulk stamp looks as if they just threw that “Bruce Banner” above the Hulk’s head to fill space. “You know what would complete this design? If someone would hastily scrawl ‘Bruce Banner’ in this blank space here. …Perfect!”


    Your Spider Sense is telling you…what? There’s a spider above your head?


    The FF stamp is a little scuffed-up, and required some brightness/contrast adjusting, but hopefully you can make it out just fine. I guess…the Thing is hitting giant baseballs emblazoned with the faces of the other Fantastic Four members? “What If…Marvel Published Strange Sports Stories?”


    I’ve got nothing snarky to say here. That’s actually not a bad pic. Well, none of these are really bad pics, but I thought this Cap stamp was quite nice, even with “AVENGER” scribbled in there at the side.


    Now I know “The Invincible Shellhead” is just combining two of Iron Man’s most common descriptors, but man, that just doesn’t look right to me.

    Anyway, the package says there are six “special stamps,” but I have only five here. And yeah, I know what the sixth stamp really is…


    …but a boy can dream, can’t he?

    Also, according to the in-show dialogue, Smallville has a comic shop.

    filed under Categories cartoons, supergirl 8 Comments

    So I finally wrapped up my watching of the Superman: The Animated Series DVDs, and in the third season episode “Unity,” Supergirl (in her civilian get-up) is given some comic books by a friend. First up, a probable precursor to Garth Ennis’s Jennifer Blood:


    Here’s a slightly larger image of said funnybook:


    In a way, I sort of admire the purity of it. Though I kinda hope it’s actually about a woman who turns into a gun. Who also carries a a gun.

    Here’s another comic that shows up a bit later:


    Again, a better look:


    This one is an object of a brief gag in the episode where Supergirl reacts in disgust at the very idea of a spider-based superhero, a direct slam, of course, on Marvel Comics’ Incredible Hulk.*

    The hero of this one looks slightly like a pro-wrestler — appropriately enough, given the original Spider-Man’s initial brush with rasslin’ during his origin. But I could see this guy rising up and bellowing “SPIDER POWER!” just before whipping out his finishing move, or whatever it’s called. I’m unfamiliar with the proper parlance. Also, it looks a bit like this character borrowed a helmet and gloves from Japan’s Ultraman.

    Anyway, now the Superman series is down…time to move on to Justice League! Bring ’em on, Netflix!

    * Yes, I know it’s Spider-Man. I’m goofing on the obviousness of the cartoon’s reference. This footnote only exists to avoid the inevitable “um, actually” corrections in the comments.

    I often have the same reaction when I too see a cow.

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    from Black Fury #11 (November 1957)

    In other news:

    • A brief postscript to my marathon Man-Thing postings…both pal Nat and Buzz Dixon popped into the comments yesterday to relate a story regarding primary Man-Thing writer Steve Gerber’s own experience with the Giant-Size Man-Thing title, so feel free to take a gander at that, if you haven’t already.

    • Okay, so Andrew’s moved his Nobody’s Favorites feature to Tuesdays (latest installment here), but that’s not what I want to tell you about. What I want to tell you about is Andrew’s latest, most malevolent plan…a creation so dire, so purely evil that I shudder to even contemplate it. Arising from this long ago Nobody’s Favorite entry comes this, the most terrifying Tumblr of all time. ABANDON ALL HOPE.

    • For balance, here is a Tumblr of pure love and joy: it’s the official Tumblr of Bully, the Little Stuffed Bull: the Little Stuffed Tumblr!

    • Behold the soul patch of Evil Superboy.

    • Mag reviews the new Garth Ennis series Jennifer Blood, which sort of surprised me by absolutely tanking at our shop. Man, I tried to get it to move. “Hey, new Ennis series!” I’d say to our regular Ennis fans. “Nah, thanks anyway,” sez they. Maybe going one too many times to the bleakly-violent well, perhaps? I really have no idea.

    • If only Boom! Studios had plugged this a little more on their Twitter feed…! Ah, but I kid my pals over at Boom! as they’re just excited, and rightly so, about their new Hellraiser comic, and they want folks to download that PDF file featuring the exclusive Clive Barker co-written prologue (like, for example, from here). Yeah, I know, I was just half-complaining about a comic maybe being too “bleakly violent” in the previous bullet point, but, hey, it’s Clive Barker writing new Hellraiser material. I’ll cut this some slack.

    • A brief reminder that the Fake AP Stylebook book Write More Good, that I, and I alone, worked on, with absolutely no assistance from anyone else, is due out in stores April 5th. Read a free chapter here, and, if you so desire, order it from the below link:


      …or get it from the other online booksellers listed here. Buy the book critics have hailed as “forthcoming!” and “based on the Twitter account!” and “a book!”

    • Speaking of Twitter, I hope this Twitter account is revived soon. EDIT: It lives, it lives!