from Ghost Manor #17 (March 1971)

Trekpassions.com: “online dating for sci-fi fans.”

(via TV Tattle)

From Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

King Arthur: “Old woman!”

Dennis: “‘Man!'”

King Arthur: “‘Man,’ sorry…what knight lives in that castle over there?”

Dennis: “I’m 37.”

King Arthur: “What?”

Dennis: “I’m 37, I’m not old.”

Me neither, Dennis, me neither.

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes yesterday…they were much appreciated. My sister’s birthday is today, so please think some good birthday thoughts for her as well!

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Just like your average radio “comedy” talk show host, I’ve stolen a story from FARK: “School Adopts Superhero Mascot” – yeah, I don’t imagine that state of affairs will last terribly long.

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A quick look at the new DC solicitations:

A series of one-shots bridging the gap between the first two Superman movies and the forthcoming Superman Returns are coming, with director Bryan Singer’s apparent involvement. Sadly, the fates of Gus Gorman and Lex Luthor’s nephew Lenny will remain unrevealed. (Four words: “MA KENT ONE SHOT.” Fantastic.)

Superman/Doomsday Omnibus TP – I expect this to sell very well, given the low price point for the amount of material you’re getting. The Death of Superman trade is still a regular seller for us after all these years, and the follow-up Doomsday material still moves from the back issue bins…yeah, this will be a good stock item.

I like Mogo (the planet Green Lantern), but not enough to read Ion #3. Given the last time this writer handled Kyle Rayner, I think I can safely avoid this return performance.

METAL MEN ARCHIVES.

Solo #11 – Will probably be the best issue of Solo yet, featuring big heaping piles of Sergio Aragones. Did you like DC Super Stars #13? Then you’ll like this.

Sloth – A new longform graphic novel from Gilbert Hernandez is always welcome. 128 black and white pages in a hardcover for $19.99? By Gilbert? That’s value, friends.

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“Chief O’Hara to be Named Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security”

“O’Hara, who worked as a private security consultant from 1984 until his retirement in 1998, served as police chief in Gotham while the city was being overrun by ludicrous costumed villains, absurdly eccentric criminals, and dangerous maniacs. He developed a close working relationship with police commissioner James Gordon, as well as Gotham’s famed superhero, Batman.”

1. Tried to watch Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean’s Mirrormask the other night. Fell asleep. I’m chalking it up to being probably too old tired to watch it when I did, but there not being a whole lot of “there” there to keep me interested may have been part of it, too. Very pretty, but not compelling. I’ll try again later.

2. This story (which Franklin Harris pointed out a few days back), about a murder suspect with several aliases taken from comic book characters, currently dominates the Google news search for “comic book.” As I write this, the first few pages of results are primarily this particular news item. Now there’s your positive view of comics, just in time for several big budget blockbuster funnybook movies.

3. How to linkblog: do it like Neilalien. That’s quality linkage, sir.

4. Just found this Spanish weblog post which says some nice things about my Bat-Week posts from a few weeks ago. (Bat-Week started here…and would it be tooting my own horn too much if I were to say that this post is probably my single favorite thing I’ve done on this site?)

5. Confidential to Kid Chris: your damned Aquaman shirt should be in this week.

YTMND link: Superman/Goku comparison – loud, loud sound.

“I created this website especially for those of you who still dought Goku’s superiority over Superman. Death to Superman!” (And that’s pretty much the entire content of that site.)

“Goku Vs. Superman!!!!!!!!!!!????????” – links to a 16-page Superman vs. Goku story.

Superhero Hype: Goku Vs. Superman:

“Superman can destroy the moon.

Goku can destroy a universe.

Hard to tell what’s more impressive.

Goku’s also faster, as he was at lightspeed in his teens.

Finally, Goku is an exponentially better fighter than Superman.

Goku wins. Quite easily.”

Mister Poll: Superman or Goku:

“Me and my son were arguing over who was the stronger of the two. Anyone have any input?”

DragonWorld: DragonBall RolePlaying Game:

“Goku could handily beat the other incarnations of Superman, only Pre-Crisis Supes would be any kind of chalange.”

Bloody-Disgusting.com:

“Even GOD has asked Son Goku for Help! It doesn’t even matter if it’s Pre-Crisis Superman. Son Goku is just too powerful. Superman can’t beat a lot of guys in the Dragonball Universe.”

DVDFile.com:

“I hate both of them, but seeing that Goku could go to SS3 and fucking slaughter Superman (and Goku has a shitload of stamina), so my vote goes to Goku.”

PencilJack.com:

“i used to be a huge dragonball z fan, and i still like it, just not as intensely, so im gonna vote for goku, simply because superman has never done those sick fadeouts/fade back in behind the guy.”

Animenation.net:

“Alright….I just got in the biggest argument over this with one of my friends. Goku would just demolish superman in every single way. Look at the facts, Superman can been hert by man made weapons and as for Goku…NO. Im talkin about Goku at his max of 1 bill, nah …even SS2 would demolish him. And dont give me that criptonite ****, Doomsday fuked him up without it and its so obviouse that Superman has never fought someone as strong as Goku…cmon”

“SUPERMAN SCKS!!!AND THE REST OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE:”

“DRAGONBALLZ is in a hgh league and you gotta accept that. Very Happy some idoits on the web think superman can beat goku…wel they are crazy cause goku can rip superamn in half without even powering up..why even krillin ,yamcha cn du it. tien does waste tme fighting weaklings lik superman…vegeta dnt even get me started”

Inksandwich.com:

“Chuck Norris could roundhouse kick Superman and Goku before they even thought about fighting him.”

Oh, dear:

“If superman was a black ghetto person”

“If superman was born in the hood instead of smallville, into a more outgoing, less geeky type of person do you guys think the story would be more exciteing.”

“NOT ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE GHETTO!!!!! SUPER IS BORING”

“no it wouldnt…stupid thread…ur being stereotypical here..”

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“Mummra beat Superman with one hit!!”

“I just read the superman/Thundercats crossover and I couldn’t believe that mummra decked superman with just one hit!! Damn!! I had no clue Mummra was that powerful”

“Mummra = Uber powerful magic

Supes vulnerabilities: Kryptonite and Magic”

“Whats the problem by being beat by Mum-Ra? Pre Crisis Superman went down after one shot from Skeletor. The only reason why Lion-O even beats him its because his sword.”

“WTF!?? Skeletor beat pre Crisis Superman!!! Damn, Skeletor’s pretty damn awsome. I’d love to see Mumm-ra fight Skeletor.”

“supes deserves that i hate em and mumra beat him with one blow yippieeee”

“DUH!!!!! Superman isn’t exactly that strong and he can’t fight. No wonder he went down with one hit…..”

“Superman isn’t exactly that strong, hu? Your being too emotional about the whole thing, talk to me when your panties dry up.”

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“Can Superman & Lois have a kid (you need to read this)”

“This” would be referring to the famous Larry Niven essay “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex,” postulating just what would be entailed in Superman getting it on.

Reactions are as follows:

“Can Superman and Lois have a baby? Scientifically, no. But scientifically speaking, Superman shouldn’t exist at all, so who knows?”

“Okay well I do know that Superman is far to advanced to get a norman human woman pregnant that is why in some comics WonderWoman is usually pregnant with Supermans baby.”

“yeah I remember hearing that back sometime by a friend of mine who always read superman and batman comics,that that was why he could not have sex with someone like Lana or Lois Lane. […] he convinced me Im better off not being him because i cant imiagine not being able to have sex with a girl,thats a thought I dont even want to think about.”

Someone brings up post-Crisis continuity:

“Clark got his powers growing up. When the Kent’s found him as a baby he had no powers. He only started to get them when he reached eight or ten. Thus the baby will have no powers until he reaches a certain age and even then its not certain since he is half human.”

…Which is then countered by Superman: The Movie continuity:

“Didn’t Clark lift Jonathan’s truck up in the air in as a toddler, while smiling?”

And then there’s the Grant Morrison continuity, from DC One Million…um, more or less, I guess:

“according to superman prime idea he busts down gates of heaven or some chit after sleeping in sun for millenia and makes lois immortal like him once he makes her like him then they can have kids….yea… end of line”

And then it gets slightly disturbing:

“Or how could a kyptonian alien fall for a human. Would that be even possible? I mean, maybe, physiologically speaking, she doesn’t have the female kryptonian mannerisms that Kryptonian men may need in order to court a female of the same race. I’m sure they go by different rules genetically.”

And then it…well, read on:

“Maybe he cant even get an ereectioon from an earthling woman… maybe Kryptonian women have a similar manner to Earth men… he only gets turned on by men!”

“Are you emplying that a man who wears tights and underwear outside his uniform could possible be gay???”

“If the writer puts down Clark Kent is a gay whore and then kills him off against a dum ass thug, then Clark Kent is a gay whore who got killed off against a dum ass thug! LOL”

And then someone steps in to set these suckas straight:

“Why is everybody so caught up with this stupid, if superman has sex his sperm will destroy the world idea. whoever made tat up is just ****ing retarded or is high on crack. Goku(DBZ) has had 2 sons so far and chichi is just fine, and any saiyan could rip superman in half, so quit making a big deal about what some geek said.”

Yeah, so take that, geeks.

Inspired by folks like pal Tom “liveblogging” the Oscars, I thought I would liveblog my New Comics Day post. So, here we go:

8:45 AM – I begin to work on this post.

8:46 AM – I write the initial liveblogging entry.

8:46 AM – I write the entry noting that I just wrote my initial liveblogging entry.

Er…okay, perhaps I have a few bugs to work out. I’ll get back to you.

Anyway, new funny books:

First, though, I noted last week that a number of items were missing from last Wednesday’s order, including Marvel Zombies, Spider-Girl, and a third of our Infinite Crisis order, among many other items. In cases such as these, Diamond will send out an “emergency” shipment, usually two-day UPS, to get the items to us. However, some wires got crossed somewhere over at the distributor, and the only item we got shipped to us post-haste was the retailer incentive cover for Ms. Marvel, sent by itself in a cardboard box. Everything else was apparently shipped out as one of Diamond’s regular orders, sent out last Monday and due, with any luck, today. So, basically, I could have not bothered insisting on the emergency shipment since we’re getting them a day later than if I had said nothing at all.

Arriving in that box (hopefully) is our extra stock of Marvel’s 99-cent Previews-supplement catalog. We were shorted on them the week they came out, our replacement order was shorted on the following week’s shipment, and they were shorted again on last week’s shipment. So by the time they arrive, I should have at least a week or so to sell them before the next issue (hopefully) arrives.

Feh. Stupid comics.

Anyway, back to the funnybooks that, by some miracle, actually did show up:

Thunderbolts #100 – Okay, I’m officially tired of these cover corner boxes already:

I’m hoping this doesn’t mean we’re going to be seeing that blurb on Marvel’s covers for the next two months, when Identity Crisis Civil War is unleashed upon an unsuspecting comics rack.

Aside from that…Thunderbolts is probably one of my favorite Marvel comics. Just plain, old-fashioned superhero fun…it threatens to collapse under the weight of its own subplots/callbacks to ancient Marvel continuity at times, but in general it’s a fun book. However, and I’m stealing this observation from pal Dorian, this extra-sized issue reprints Thunderbolts ’97 which, we’re guessing, most people buying issue #100 of Thunderbolts will probably already own. However, the lead story is 50 pages (including ads), which would have cost the cover price of this item ($3.99) anyway, making the reprint an extra “free” bonus. On top of that, anniversary issues do tend to get the occasional new reader, so I suppose that reprint would serve as a good intro to the characters. But, still, I would have liked to see reprints of stories from older comics, featuring members of the team.

Boy, I go on a bit. Sorry.

Doll & Creature #1 – Reprints, in color and in comic book form, the Ait/Planerlar graphic novel discussed here. I wasn’t 100% thrilled with the graphic novel, but it was enjoyable enough. Like I said before, fans of The Goon and Hellboy might want to give it a glance.

Liberality for All #2 – I had wondered before if this comic was a right-winger’s satire on left-wingers, or a left-winger goofing on right-wingers…and this is even brought up in the letters column of this issue. (For the record, the creator ain’t sayin’.) However, in that same letters column a “Michael Moore is fat” joke is made, and for no good, logical reason I can articulate, that makes me think that, no, this comic is indeed a right-winger’s satire on left-wingers. However, also in this same letters column, grief is given to one of the commenters for just standing in his comic shop and reading the comic for free (“…A quick flip through is fine, but reading a comic cover to cover, with no intention of buying it, is the mark of a cheapskate“), so good on them.

Identity Crisis Series 2 action figures – To quote pal JP : “Batman‘s deformed!” As for the Black Canary figure…there’s redesigning, and then there’s just making the character look appallingly ugly. I mean, honestly. At least they found something to do with the actual fabric fishnets from all those unsold Zatanna figures.

G.I. Joe Vs. Transformers Vol. 3: Art of War #1 – Dear God, please let there not be any more G.I. Joe versus Transformers comics. Isn’t there enough blight upon the world?

So at work other day, Employee Nathan asked me if Pariah could fly.

Pariah, just in case you don’t remember, is this fellow, who first appeared in Crisis on Infinite Earths:

I seemed to remember a shot or two of Pariah flying in the Crisis, but I did what I usually do when asked a question like this…I busted out our run of DC’s Who’s Who series and looked it up.

Under the “Powers & Weapons” section of Pariah’s entry:

“Pariah possessed no special powers aside from an ability to be drawn to the scene of impending evil, and immortality.”

So, no, flying isn’t explicitly listed as one of his powers.

However, in issue #7, there are indeed a few shots of Pariah flying through space, as I recalled, leading a group of superheroes to the Anti-Monitor:

Okay, this was on some rock floating in outer space, where there would be little or no gravity, but Pariah appears to be directing his flight, rather than just floating in space. And, there is no visual indication that any of the other heroes are giving him a “flight boost” or any other kind of aid.

Plus, as far as I recall, he doesn’t seem to fly in his other comic appearances…though, to be honest I didn’t check ’em all. However, in this scene from DC Comics Presents #94 (June 1986), Superman is shown giving Pariah a lift:

There are a couple of scenes in the War of the Gods mini-series, his other major crossover appearance, where Pariah is floating in mid-air, but he appears to be at the mercy of your typical menacing comic book energy field/explosion/what have you, rather than levitating under his own power.

However, the explanation may simply be this. Since his powers include, as noted previously, “an ability to be drawn to the scene of impending evil,” it’s very possible that that “drawing” business would have been enough to help him direct his flight in weightless space (or over the near-negligible gravity of some decaying asteroid), as shown in Crisis #7. So maybe he can’t normally fly, but can under certain circumstances, if it’s called for, in order to get him to that source of evil.

And that is my answer to you, Employee Nathan.

While we were originally talking about this, we generalized Pariah’s powers as being “drawn to scenes of impending doom” rather than just plain evil, as according to Who’s Who. I wondered briefly about how doomed something had to be in order to draw Pariah there, which caused me to consider, say, a football game:

Announcer #1: “Boy, I have never seen such a one-sided game in all my life! Those guys are getting demolished!”

Announcer #2: “You ain’t kidding! This is the worst blow-out I’ve ever had the misfortune to witn — hey, wait a second, Bob…who’s that on the field?”

Pariah (on the 50 yard line): “Doomed! The Packers are doomed!”

But since he’s drawn specifically to evil, and not necessarily “doom,” (which can take many non-evil forms, such as natural disasters and the like) that particular scenario doesn’t work, I guess. Unless, of course, you consider the Green Bay Packers losing a football game to be evil, and I’m sure some of you do. (And I just picked that team at random, not out of malice, in case someone felt like complaining.)

Anyway, in conclusion, I’m a huge dork. Thank you.