In which Mike didn’t read any comics but decided to have a “review” post anyway.

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from Superman #295 (Jan 1976) by Elliot S! Maggin, Curt Swan & Bob Oksner


We can only hope the future we have is as great as this.

Anyway, I had quite the busy New Comics Day, and I didn’t get a chance to read any of said Comics What Are New that evening after work, but I did get to briefly glance at a few, both bought by me and left on the shelf at the shop, so let me throw my uninformed opinions out regarding them:

  • Marvelman Family Finest #1 – A nice, thick, and extremely light funnybook, printed on black and white on plain ‘ol newsprint…I’ve only read whatever original Marvelman comics Eclipse Comics reprinted as part of their Miracleman hoohar, plus what was in this Marvelman special (itself reprinted by Eclipse as Miracleman 3-D). I’ve liked what I read, and it looks like more of the same here…good, clean superhero-y fun, with charming art and some appalling lettering. Of course, what the people really want (whether they know it yet or not) is reprints of the ’80s Marvelman revival by Alan Moore and his super-pals, and Lord knows when we’re getting that, but this classic Marvelman stuff has its value, too, I think.

  • Fantastic Four Annual #32 – Wasn’t going to pick it up, because good gravy, $4.99, but I flipped through it and saw 1) some nice art by Bryan Hitch, 2) a few amusing bits of dialogue, and 3) one of my favorite goofy Marvel villains…and it looked like there was a lot going on in this comic, so I think my funnybook dollar is well-spent here. Come on home with me, Fantastic Four comic book.

  • The Smurfs: Smurfnapper – Like I noted yesterday, I’m very excited about this. I know the Smurfs have bit of a cheesy reputation in the States, thanks to the cartoon from a couple of decades ago, but the Smurfs have a fine legacy of print comics and this $1 special is a good introduction to them. If you’re a fan of Carl Barks’ Duck stories, or of Jeff Smith’s Bone, the Smurfs comics fit right in with them. Well worth your dollar…and hopefully worth your $5.99 a pop once they start putting out the new editions of the albums!

  • Batman & Robin #13 – Haven’t even cracked it open, but the cover has Robin about to beat Joker with a crowbar as drawn by Frank Quitely, and that’s not only a beautiful thing to behold, but it gives me a reason to run this thing again:


    You know, it doesn’t matter what else I accomplish with this site…that I had reason to create that animation all these years ago is enough to justify my efforts here.

  • Hercules: Twilight of a God #2 – No idea why someone decided we needed another series in the Bob Layton Hercules saga, since the last installment of Layton’s run was…how many years ago? Was it in Marvel Comics Presents? Anyway, I liked this version of Hercules, so I’m glad this series is coming out (and it’s probably only doing so because Marvel’s got some buzz with their other Hercules books), but it seems just a wee past its sell-by date. (Unlike most other superhero books which are absolutely cutting-edge, yes, I know.)

  • Batman: The Odyssey #1 – Gentlemen, ladies…I think we have something to tide us over ’til Frank Miller and Jim Lee’s All Star Batman returns next year. This comic is just full-on craziness, and it’s awesome. Neal Adams, I salute you.

  • Hellboy: The Storm #1 – Hey, it’s a new Hellboy comic.

    Sorry, not much else to say about it. Hellboy‘s always good readin’.

  • Irredeemable #15 – I always like to point out when a new issue of this or Incorruptible comes out, since Mark Waid is doing some fine superhero serial writing on these two comics. But I also wanted to point out this Twitter post of Mr. Waid’s, where he says

    “Annnnd today was the day I stopped reading super-hero comics. One that I won’t name finally broke me. Collection stops as of now. No joke.”

    Which of course got all the folks on the Twitter all a’tweetin’ about “which comic could it be?” I bet it’s Darkwing Duck. Don’t tell pal Ian.*

    But it got me wondering what could possibly happen in a superhero comic that would make me quit reading superhero comics? I mean, sure, I’ve read my share of bad ones from which I could extract no entertainment value (either sincerely, ironically, or otherwise…if there is an “otherwise” left outside of those two options), but what would make me give up on a whole genre? I mean, I read New Warriors #1 (1990), and I’m still here.**

    I should note that Waid later clarifies it was the latest in a string of awful comics…I suppose after reading a whole bunch of terrible ones, that would give me pause as well. But such bad luck, reading a bunch of comics and not a good one in the group? That’s pretty rough.

    Anyway, please don’t fill up my comments section trying to name which comic it was. And go easy on Mr. Waid…the man’s read more superhero comics than most of us have even heard of, so he’s entitled to give ’em up if he wants. But be as hard as you’d like on Ian. He probably deserves it for some reason or ‘nother.

  • X-Women #1 – No, I didn’t buy this comic, just glanced through it enough to wonder why they even bothered to put dialogue in it. It’s page after page after page of nearly-naked, sometimes wet, generally gape-mouthed gals who sort of resemble characters you might know from the X-Men line of comics presenting their bits, posing sexily, and occasionally hugging, as drawn by Milo Manara. Granted, it’s beautifully-illustrated, and finely detailed, but boys, you’re going to want to hide this one from Mom. Not under the mattress, she knows about that spot already.

* I’m only kidding, Ian. Honest!

** Here comes the hate mail.

Watching the Metropolis TV news has got to be one freaky experience.

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from Superman #250 (April 1972) by Cary Bates, Curt Swan & Murphy Anderson


I mean, seriously, how do you segue from your top story, Terra Man, to a story about a small brush fire in Queensland Park?

A while back I noted that televised news in the Marvel Universe must be like having professional wrestling on the air all the time, but, you know, at least that’s safely predictable. I think I’d be more comfortable watching Marvel News and seeing “Sub-Mariner and Dr. Doom have teamed up to fight the Fantastic Four,” which is something I could deal with, versus never knowing what new horror awaited me whenever I’d turn on DC News: “Top story tonight: Superman’s giant ant head…the world’s leaders react!” “The Dow dropped 300 points after today’s appearance of the Zebra Batman.”

I don’t know how much of that I’d be able to take.

I suspect the daily news would be easier to handle in print form.

It started off trying to help cartoonists I like, and then it went horribly, horribly wrong.

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  • Max Huffman has his brand new laptop and he’s back making funny comics for you and me. God bless you, Max Huffman.

  • BEHOLD: You can buy Laugh Out Loud Cats original art for insanely cheap prices. INSANELY CHEAP. (Or you could just read the panels here.)

  • Here’s another “list of bad movies” that accidentally includes the first Swamp Thing movie. Presumably that was a typo. Especially this bit:

    “The thing is, Swamp Thing the comic didn’t really get good till Alan Moore took over. The version they adapted was a mediocre comic, and so they got a mediocre story.”

    Oh. Oh my.

  • Dig this fan-made Hulk versus Thing film from 1982. Your life will never be the same.

  • Say, do you have a dollar? Sure you do. And you should use that dollar to buy this comic this week:


    Why? Because Smurf comics are awesome, that’s why.

  • Also, as I was Googling up “smurf napper” I received the message “do you mean smurf rapper?” and even though I didn’t at first, I sure as hell do now. And here is what I found:


    You’re welcome.

No midi-chlorians necessary.

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So I was poking through a copy of Star Warp magazine, dated Summer 1979, and within was the article “The Force Can Be With You” — in which the author first outlines what we know about The Force as revealed in the first Star Wars movie, and then suggests methods by which you, the reader, can develop your very own Force abilities.

For example, the articles suggests practicing on moving peas with your mind, or trying to guess cards held by another person, and

“…have your friend hide something, say a button. Again, you let the Force guide you until you find it. […] If you’ve succeeded with the peas and the cards, it should only take you five minutes to find the button the first time. Eventually, you should be able to work up to finding the button before your friend has even hidden it.”

Emphasis mine, by the way, because that’s awesome.

Anyway, after you’ve done that, get a load of this:


This article is, like, five pages long, and I’m assuming this was written with tongue firmly placed in cheek, particularly since it’s credited to one “Steven Shlocmeister.” Well, this was the 1970s, when belief in ESP and other imagined magical powers was quite the fad, so you can’t be too sure.

This next article, however, is absolutely 100% serious: “DARTH VADER VS. MUFFEY!” Yes, Muffey, the robot Daggit from the original Battlestar Galactica:

“Muffey springs at Darth’s throat. His metal jaws can find no grasp on Darth’s armor. Darth swings his lightsaber playfully at Muffey, lopping off one of the daggit’s ears. Muffey goes for Darth’s ankles, snapping ferociously. Darth simply snickers and lops off the daggit’s tail.”

And so it goes, with a gratuitous but probably deserved backhanding of Boxey, Muffey’s owner. But Muffey gets his second wind, takes out Darth’s “life support panel” on his chest, and Darth totally bails, zipping back to his home universe via a convenient space/time warp.

Yeah, yeah, I know…but count your blessings, it could have been Darth/Muffey slash fiction.

At least it’s red, white, and blue.

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So this is Mad #217, cover date September 1980, and it’s pretty close to the end of my original Mad-readin’ days. I started reading Mad probably in late ’76, and I think I mostly stopped by about 1981…from about 7 years old ’til I was about 12, which is pretty much the right age span for one’s initial exposure to Mad.

Anyway, I’m posting it here today because 1) it’s red, white and blue, and it’s the Fourth of July, and, uh, well, this is what I’ve got, and 2) it’s a cover that’s always stuck in my head…I thought it was pretty neat looking way back when, and I still think it’s pretty neat lookin’ now. Kind of wish I still had my copy…though the likelihood of my copy still being nice enough to replace the scan of the slightly-raggedy example shown above would have been pretty slim. (I, ahem, “borrowed” that scan from one of the comics database sites…both the Grand Comics Database and the Comic Book Database have the same image.)

Well, there you go…my holiday post. Happy Fourth of July, where applicable, and I’ll see you all tomorrow.

Paraphernalia Phriday.

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ad from Creem Magazine Vol. 11 #3 (August 1979)


Yeah, I know, this has not a whole lot to do with comics…well, maybe comix, as in “underground,” but anyway…I just sold a bunch of rock ‘n’ roll mags on the eBay, and as I was poking through one of them, I spotted that ad and it made me laugh. So, what can I tell you?

And don’t worry…I’m fairly certain Paraphernalia Phriday won’t be a regular thing. Unless I start rereading my Freak Brothers and Dopin’ Dan comics.

Oh, hey, let’s talk about the Wonder Woman costume.

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The people have spoken! You voted nearly 2 to 1 in favor of my dropping the new Flash series from my regular reading list. Now, don’t take this the wrong way…if you’re enjoying the new Flash series, good for you! I’m glad you like it. But this new series just didn’t do anything for me, and frankly, the Flash franchise had (har har) lost some momentum after this debacle which, I think, created the seeming necessity for this extensive reboot.

And like reader Jeff says:

“Save your money for something you’re excited about, not something you’re waffling on.”

Good advice.

And what’s up with this?

“NO! Save your money for breath mints…. hooo boy!”

Well, I never! I’ll have you know, Mr. “Sniffer,” that my breath is like a fresh spring breeze! So there. (And, by the way, have you met…the Sneezler?)

• • •

Say, have you heard that Wonder Woman has a new costume? No, really, it’s true! I wouldn’t lie about this! It really happ…

…Okay, I’ll stop. Yes, it seems like everyone is discussing it, way out of proportion to the actual importance and likely impermanence of the change, mostly in the context of “boy, everybody is talking about this” and “this costume change won’t last.” So sure, I’ll pile on, too.

Well, “pile on” is a bit more negative than I intended, as I actually don’t mind the outfit. I mean, it’ll only be around for the duration of this storyline, or, at the absolutely most extreme possibility, until a Wonder Woman movie eventually comes out, so if you really do hate it, it’ll be gone soon enough. But as a temporary change, I think it’s fine, and not terrible-looking. And plus it inspired fellow Bureau Chief Matt Wilson to cook up the Superheroes Wearing Jackets Tumbler site, so how bad can it be?

My primary concern, at first, is that I do get kids coming into the shop who, having seen Wonder Woman on TV, now want Wonder Woman comics. And here we are with the one Wonder Woman series where Wonder Woman herself is no longer in her recognizable, iconic costume. Of course, I then realized it’s not that big of a deal, since the actual monthly WW title hasn’t been very attractive to child readers for about twenty years, and changing the costume won’t make any difference to that segment of the market. I’ve plenty of back issues from the ’70s and ’80s, and there are the character’s appearances in the comics based on the cartoons, so I’ve got a good selection to offer our younger Wonder Woman fans. (Any older Wonder Woman fans who aren’t already funnybook fans invariably want merchandise…they couldn’t care less about the comics.)

The costume change is, naturally, aimed at the people already dropping their cash on new comics every week, to convince them to perhaps redistribute or expand their budgeted finances to take in this latest Exciting New Direction for Wonder Woman. And of these two new assignments being written by J. Michael Straczynski, the Wonder Woman one at least seems to be getting a tentative “well, let’s see where it goes from here” from the nerdinet, as opposed to JMS’s Superman storyline which appears to be receiving almost universal derision. (Though I do like this comment on Dr. Polite Scott’s site, which gives a possible psychological underpinning for this coming Superman series).

I did find it curious that, despite the real world news coverage, I didn’t receive too much of an influx of the type of folks who only drop into comic shops to get the new hot thing they saw in the news. Well, then again, it’s only been a day, and plus it’s not like anyone absolutely died for sure, no, honest this time. Maybe we’ll get ’em over the weekend.

As for the comic, Wonder Woman #600, itself…doesn’t look too bad, actually. And I’m a sucker for anniversary issues…for those of you who have been keeping track with me, perhaps this will be the fifth comic I pick up this week.

• • •

I came across this link the other day, and reader Frippe dropped me a line about it as well, and it’s a look at panels where the action and the result of the action coexist in the same image. And the first thing I thought of when I first saw the link was my jokey overanalysis of a Richie Rich cover that would fit right into this theme. So read that first link, because it’s interesting, and read my self-link, because that’s one of my favorite posts on this site.

FLASH THE VOTE.

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Sorry, gang, no real post today. Time got away from me.

However, I wanted to issue a correction…it appears I will be buying four comics this week, despite previous statements to the contrary, as I somehow missed that the new issue of The Muppet Show is coming out. Man, the Muppet comics…Boom! Studios has got a good thing going, here.

Plus, I can feel myself beginning to waffle on the whole “should I buy Flash or not” thing. So I’m going to settle it the old-fashioned way…let you, the people, decide!

IF MIKE SHOULD BUY THE NEW ISSUE OF THE FLASH, VOTE “YES” IN THE COMMENTS – IF NOT, VOTE “NO.” I shall abide by your decision by the time I leave work today (6 PM Pacific time).

Let your voice be heard!