Grim tidings.

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So this was squirreled away in the corner of a page in the latest Diamond Previews:


…is the first solicitation for the revival of the ’70s Atlas publishing company…and…um, well. That’s certainly something.

Now, I realize you can’t go home again, and it’s not like Ernie Colon was going to come back and draw the book, picking up where he left off:


…Well, actually, that’s NOT where Colon left off, since that’s the second of three issues, but man, that’s a great cover.

Anyway, this new Grim Ghost seems…well, I guess the problem I’m having is that it is new, and I’m having a bit of dissonance reconciling this modern-styled, muscled and vein-y Grim Ghost with the Grim Ghost stories of my youth. Now I know how all you people who got the vapors over the new [UPDATED VERSION OF OLD DC AND/OR MARVEL CHARACTER] feel. Though I do have to admit that, following the slight shock I had after first seeing it, this new version of the Grim Ghost has grown on me a wee bit. You know, from the one whole image I’ve seen so far.

So I’ll give it a chance, I think…no idea how good it is on the scripting level, which means I’ll need to read it instead of just judging it by its cover. But I did really love that old Grim Ghost series, which at least earns this new series a chance from me (“he said self-importantly”).

I do like that the solicitation explicitly calls out Spawn, given that Spawn’s origin shares some…similarities with the Grim Ghost’s. You know, bad guy dies, goes to Hell, swings deal with Devil to come back to Earth to serve as Devil’s agent, Devil sends him back to Earth, but years past the time which the “hero” was originally from. Okay, like only five years in Spawn’s case, a couple of centuries in Mr. G. Ghost’s case.

However, if they revive Morlock 2001, I sincerely hope the title stays as Morlock 2001.

This post contains minor spoilers for the first two episodes of Smallville Season 10.

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So I’ve finally caught up on the new season of Smallville…yeah, I was a whole week behind, boo hoo…and the first episode ends with Darkseid showing up. And we’ve had an obnoxious radio talk show host referenced on the program by the name of “Godfrey,” who is clearly supposed to be Glorious Godfrey, another of Jack Kirby’s Fourth World characters.

Now, I love all this Fourth World stuff. It’s Kirby completely unfettered, with pretty much every crazy idea getting slapped down on a page, and all of it, somehow, working. The very idea of live-action renditions of these characters showing up in the prime time TV series is fantastic, though I’m sure we’re not getting full-on in-your-face 100% accurate translations of Kirby’s designs. But, um…that CGI Darkseid from the end of the first episode looked pretty darn close.

But, you know, what the hell? Why not Kirby it up? It’s the last season…it’s not like they have to be afraid of getting canceled or anything. What’s the worst that can happen…viewers might accidentally be exposed to something awesome?

And there’s incentive! As I promised on my Twitter thingie, I would give the producers of Smallville three whole dollars, in genuine American currency, via PayPal, personal check, or money order, if they give us a live action version of the Fourth World’s embodiment of Death, the Black Racer:


And I don’t mean “This week on Smallville, Clark and Lois visit a ski resort and encounter a young man with strange powers” and it’s a dude in a red and blue ski outfit, with yellow gloves and a stylized wool ski mask that kind of looks like a knight’s helmet. I mean, I want a guy, in that armor, wearing that helmet, and freakin’ flying.

I will accept no less.

Plus, if we’re opening up Smallville to Kirby’s Fourth World stuff, that means the way is finally cleared for this show’s long-awaited special guest star…Mr. Warmth himself, Don Rickles:


(If you want a little background on why and how this even happened, here you go.)

A couple of other notes about Smallville:

  • I think I would have been on board with Old Clone Lex being the new replacement Lex Luthor for the show, which even kinda sorta follows what happened with Lex in the comics that one time, if you squint a little:


    Frankly, giving us a Lex that ain’t afraid to leave some toothmarks on the scenery is what this series really needs. Of course, given what happens in the story, this option is kind of out of the question.

    More likely, Young Kid Lex Clone, rescued from the labs, will probably age-accelerate into the show’s previous Lex, actor Michael Rosenbaum, assuming they can throw enough money at him to get him back on the show, shave his head, and reprise his role for an episode or three. (I understand why maybe he’d not want to, but it seems like it’d be bit of a disappointment not to finally get our Superman Versus the Lex Luthor Who’d Been Around for Most of the Show’s Run confrontation.)

  • You know how some folks were wondering…well, how I was wondering, anyway, about how they were going to resolve the secret identity situation, given the fact that Clark’s been toolin’ around for ten seasons with no glasses, and that when he finally puts on the Superman costume, everyone he knows is going to look at him and say “hey, Clark, what’s with the get-up?”

    I think I finally figured out the producers’ solution. They’re just going to make sure all of Clark’s friends already know about his super powers, and that any folks outside his circle of friends don’t really care about Clark enough to notice that the guy in the blue suit and red cape is him.

    That’s gotta be better than my previous assumption, that since Smallville and now Metropolis are apparently the Head Trauma Capitals of the World, the subsequent brain damage everyone has by being knocked out by the Bad Guys of the Week will block their memories of Clark’s dual identities.

    Sure, why not.

  • For more Smallville commentary, Chris Sims and David Uzumeri will be reviewing every episode this season, starting here. God speed, my friends.

Suddenly…DEATH FROM THE BRUSH!

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image from from Keen Detective Funnies #23(?) (1940)


In other news:

  • So they did that “largest gathering of superheroes” Megamind advertisement / world record attempt — which reminds me, is that really a Guinness Book of World Records category? — and sure, we can all make fun of it, but someone totally showed up as Popeye and I’m okay with that.

  • SPOILER ALERT: So the very last word of dialogue spoken in the last Cathy comic strip is “iPhone.” Seems…weird to me.

    And as I was writing that I saw that Adam Koford pointed out that the actual last words of the strip were “PAT PAT.” That mollifies me…somewhat. Not that I’ve ever really thought about Cathy or mentioned the strip on the site. (Well, mentioned it twice on the site, anyway.)

  • Speaking of Adam Koford, BEHOLD ORIGINAL MADE-TO-ORDER DRAWINGS FOR SALE. And at low, low prices! Tell him Mike sent you, so he can say “…Who?”

  • Speaking of comic strips, have I mentioned that pal Andres has a site devoted to Nancy’s aunt Fritzi Ritz? Complete with Fritzi Fridays? All documented, all true.

  • And on the topic of Nancy, Fantagraphics is trying to locate some dailies from 1942. I don’t have any, and I sure wish I did…but if YOU have any, please help them out! (And I’m not putting that out there just because I’m a nice guy…I want my Nancy reprint book!)

  • One final funnypages bit of business…yesterday was Peanuts‘ 60th anniversary. How did you celebrate? (Me…I went and talked to my old school building, played some tennis against “Crybaby” Boobie, and developed this odd rash on my head that looks strangely like baseball stitching….)

  • RevolutionSF has been doing a series of articles about comics that haven’t yet been collected into trade paperback, or have been collected but are long out of print. A couple that I’d add to the lists: a Hammerlocke collection would be welcome, which featured some nice Chris Sprouse art. And while I’d like to see a Spanner’s Galaxy trade, with Tom Mandrake’s art recolored and safely away from the Flexographic printing process which afflicted it during its original publication, I’m not holding my breath.

  • REMINDER: I’m still doing Estate 4.1, that wonderful, uplifting site where I point out delightful comments left by thoughtful users on news stories…though I may have to stop because I think I’ve found the greatest news story comment of all time.

    Honestly, this busts me up every time I read it, and I’m not sure I can even explain why. Your Mileage May Vary, as they say.

  • And now, sent to me courtesy of reader C. Elam, here is William Shatner for K-TEL:

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

filed under Categories End of Civilization 22 Comments

It’s this thing again! I poke through the newest issue of Diamond Previews (October 2010, this time), point out some Items of Note, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll all learn a little something. …Have I done the “we’ll all learn a little something” gag too often on this site? Probably. Send your letters of complaint to my editor. Also, I overuse variations on the word “would” in one entry, and don’t even bother to check my French in that other entry, because it’s totally wrong. Which is fitting, considering. Anyway…awaaaaaay we go:

p. 25 – Buffy the Vampire Slayer #39:


Revealed in this issue…the shocking secret of Buffy’s pants!

p. 42-45 – Star Wars Legacy: War #1, Star Wars: Knight Errant – Aflame #3, Star Wars The Old Republic: Blood of the Empire #3:


If you would have told me 30 years ago that there would someday be multiple Star Wars comic book series on the stands, but I wouldn’t be familiar with any of the main characters in them, I wouldn’t have believed you.

p. 59 – Classic Archie Character #3 – Betty Statue:


“Ooh, gross, creepy ol’ Mr. Eerie is substituting today.”

p. 60 – Cousin Eerie Statue:


“Why, hello, Ms. Cooper…you’re certainly looking…nice this morning…see you in class!”

p. 83 – Green Lantern Emerald Warriors #5:


Oh, hey, this series totally abbreviates as “GL: EW.” That works out nicely, considering.

p. 131 – Wonder Woman #600 Statue:


Commemorate the stunning and dramatic costume change of our favorite Amazon Warrior, with this dynamic statue that will remain a treasured collector’s item for years to come….


Um, wait, what was that?


Er….


AAAAAAAAAAH

p. 132 – Heroes of the DC Universe Blackest Night Black Lantern Batman Bust:


I try not to go to the “this would be damn hard to explain to your friends and loved ones” well too often, but c’mon.

p. 135 – Harley Quinn 1:4 Scale Museum Quality Statue:


Is it just me, or does Harley Quinn get progressively creepier-looking the more “realistically” she’s portrayed?

p. 154 – Star Trek Khan – Ruling in Hell #3:


For the life of me, I have no idea why you would make the Ricardo Montalban photo cover the rare one. SLAP THAT SMOOTH BASTARD ACROSS ALL YOUR COVERS. Especially the Witch & Wizard series…it could use the help.

p. 205 – Marvel Select Gambit Action Figure:


“Sacre bleu! My coat, she has too much of ze starch in it! And my cards, they are en flammes! I am having ze bad day, vraiment!”

p. 226 – Archie #226:


I’m sure this cute and completely innocent gag will have the desired effect of pissing off everyone of every political stripe everywhere.

p. 227 – Betty & Veronica #251:


Thought this might have been a good candidate for my “This Is A Fetish for Someone” entries over at The Bureau Chiefs, but

1. …I’m pretty sure this actually is a common fetish for some folks, and This Is A Fetish… is only funny if it’s something really bizarre, and…

2. …As I recall, Betty and Veronica are supposed to be, what…15? 16? And that’s a fetish I’d just as soon not address.

p. 345 – Quicksilver T-Shirt:


“Hey, man, what’s the ‘L’ stand for?”

“Quicksilver.”

“Oh, okay…wha huh!?”

p. 370 – Labyrinth the Worm Plush:


Seriously, the more I hear about this Human Centipede movie, the weirder it gets.

p. 373 – Star Wars Death Star Planetarium:


If you gotta dress up your educational toys in Star Wars drag…well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Look how happy this kid is:


“Oh boy, I can’t wait to blow up that planet…and that planet…and that planet….”

p. 378 – Smurf Statues:

So this Smurf:


…is in love with the only lady Smurf in town, Smurfette:


…which will create quite the love hecatontagon when the other Smurfs find out. Or love centagon? Love Zocchihedron™? Man, I don’t know. Let me know when they nail down a term.

p. 381 – Resident Evil T-Virus & Anti-Virus Display:


If you have any airline travel to do in your immediate future, I’d suggest not taking this along in your luggage to show Aunt Rose back east. You’d likely end up with some ‘splainin’ to do.

p. 384 – James Bond Jaws’ Teeth Signature Edition Prop Replica:


Those of you shopping for gifts for dentists: here you go. You’re welcome.

BONUS: comes with a “tram cable” piece to show your teeth replicas “in action.”

p. 391 – DC X Bishoujo Collection Catwoman Statue:


My, that certainly looks both comfortable and practical when jumping from rooftop to rooftop.

p. 394 – Bakemonogatari – Kanbaru Suruga Ani*Statue:


This statue is absolutely all about demonstrating the basketball prowess of this young woman, and nothing else. You’d have to be some kind of weirdo to think otherwise.

p. 398 – Harry Potter RAH Figure:


No thanks, I prefer my Harry Potter figures fully cooked.

…Look, it’s late, and I’m tired.

p. 403 – Stay-Puft Quality Caffeinated Marshmallows:


Oh, sure, let’s take something that’s sugary and add caffeine to it. That’ll make the kids zip around like hummingbirds.

p. 406 – Star Trek Sulu por Homme Cologne for Men:


I’m not even going to make fun; let’s just enjoy the majestic beauty of this solicitation text:

“Sulu Pour Homme, or Sulu For Men for those who are French-impaired, is the perfect cologne for the man who does everything, whether that be cataloging exotic plants, collecting antique firearms, or piloting ancient helicopters and advanced starships. It’s more than just choosing to live your life with style; Sulu dives straight to the soul and allows you to release your own Intergalactic Man of Mystery. That jaunty, fearless swashbuckler of a man who, whether he’s wielding a rapier in a swordfight or commanding an Excelsior-class starship, is always ready for action. Oh, my!”

Oh, my indeed.

p. 426 – Grant Morrison – Talking with Gods DVD:


“I hated this DVD. It was too convoluted and confusing, and it was just weird for the sake of being weird.”

“Did you watch it?”

“No, of course I didn’t watch it.”

Marvel Previews p. 71 – Wolverine The Best There Is #1:


Oh thank God, a new ongoing Wolverine series. For while there I thought we’d have to make do with only a dozen or so comics featuring Wolverine per month. THE DROUGHT IS OVER, THE DROUGHT IS OVER

I am very, very sorry for the last link in this post.

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  • INTERESTING TIMES CONTINUE: The week after DC Comics imprints Wildstorm and Zuda were canned, Bob Harras, former editor-in-chief at Marvel Comics, was named editor-in-chief at DC.

    This got some internet pals of mine talking about the Spider-Man Clone Saga, which ran, at least partially, under his watch. My contention was that the Clone Saga, while running way too long, and dealt a nearly-fatal blow to the Spider-Man franchise with the revelation that the Spider-Man we’d been reading for the last couple of decades was, in fact, the presumed-dead clone Spider-Man, started out as a good thing. Sales were strong, readers were interested in the story…it wasn’t the greatest story in the world, no, but it kept people’s attention and entertained them, at least until that particular goose was killed for its golden eggs. And until that saturation point was reached, as a person who was slingin’ funnybooks at the time this storyline was running, I can guarantee you that I was selling plenty of the Clone Saga comics to people who were into the story, and not just buying for investment. You can usually tell the difference.

    And, to this very day, I still have kids looking for and buying Clone Saga back issues (and anything involving Venom and/or Carnage). Far more kids, in fact, than are buying the currently-published Spider-Man comics. Or the currently-published Marvel anything. And I can see the appeal…lots of action, lots of villains, lots of just plain’ ol’ things happening in every issue. Frankly, whatever comics excite kids and get them interested in comics, I’m grateful for.

    So, there you go. I’m the guy defending the Clone Saga. …And All-Star Batman and Robin. And The Spirit movie. I deserve some kind of medal (“BIGGEST CHUMP, 2010”).

  • From a ’90s flashback to an ’80s one: a little bit about comics coloring from Comico Comics.

  • And speaking of internet pal Andrew: here’s his latest Nobody’s Favorites entry, featuring a character that, even at the time it was published, had my customers going “what…really?”

  • Reader De, in the comments to yesterday’s post, suggested the site Comic Book Cartography, given my recent fascination with comic book maps. There are maps aplenty at this site, as well as other cutaways and diagrams and, thankfully, I didn’t duplicate any of this person’s posts with my recent entries. Anyway, go check it out…lots of good images from funnybooks of days gone by.

  • Adam Koford, the fella what does Laugh-Out-Loud Cats, recently uploaded some of his Disney Interactive Toy Story designs, and they’re adorable.

  • Longtime internet chum Mr. Dan Kelly gives me the beauty of a giant Luke Cage wall poster. Find more here.

  • Oh, dear: Hipster Hitler webcomics. Funnier than it has any reason to be. I double-dare you to wear the shirts from the strip’s store.

  • THIS IS TERRIBLE: here’s an auction I found for a JonBenet Ramsey black velvet painting. Nothing to do with comics, I realize, but good gravy, why would…how could…I…what? The description raises more questions than it answers.

Yes, it’s another map from an old comic book.

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from Action Comics #337 (May 1966) by Otto Binder & Jim Mooney


You know, given that the Evil-Eyed People only have one entrance to their underground realm, you’d think folks would have since found some kind of alternative path that didn’t lead right towards it.

Then again, who’s gonna feel threatened by these guys?


Now we humans have smallish eyes with lids, and I don’t know about you, but I’m always getting, like, something blown into my eye out of my truck’s air vents, or an eyelash stuck in there, or just some random detritus flung into my eyeballs by a cool summer zephyr. Maybe I’m just lucky like that. But this guy…this guy…he’s gotta be peeling crap out of eyes constantly.

But on the other hand…the Evil-Eyed People are able to shoot fire out of their eyes, so if their eyes can handle straight-up open flame, having a gnat fly in there probably ain’t no big thing.

…This really wasn’t what I meant to talk about, here. I was going to comment on the map, because boy howdy I love maps in comic books, but…seriously, it’s a map with ant people, giant acorn trees (not “giant trees with acorns,” though they are big, but “trees with huge-ass acorns“), and Evil Eye People. What’s not to love?

Sooner or later we need to gather up all these comic book maps, and feed ’em into a Google Maps/Mapquest-esque database: “How do I get to Star City?” “Well, hang a left at Gotham City, go a couple of miles past the Justice Society headquarters, make a right at Titans Tower, and if you’ve reached Gorilla City, you’ve gone too far.”

• • •

In other news:

  • Amalgam Reborn, by Awesome Hospital artist Matt Digges. Not many there yet, but it starts off with “Batman Beyonder” and how great is that?

  • And now…the Worst Comic Book of All Time, courtesy Dr. K., a professor who’s studied, academically, stories featuring Chop Chop from Blackhawk, so he knows from terrible. By the way, the comic under discussion couldn’t be more racist if it tried, so be prepared.

  • Superman also hates vuvuzelas.

  • Here’s your odd Swamp Thing link of the week: a comparison between the behavior of a particular U.S. political movement of some note and the author’s attempts to cajole his parents into buying him a Swamp Thing action figure. …Certainly wasn’t expecting to read something like that this week. Also, that post made me feel very old.

  • Speaking of Swamp Thing, approximately 3,000 of you out there in the Progressive Ruin Super Agent Force emailed me the link to Daniel Crosier’s Deviant Art page featuring a wood-burned art piece of our favorite swamp dude.

    Here, let me get this out of the way, before anyone asks this:

    FAQ: Wouldn’t Swamp Thing, representative of Earth’s plant life, object to the burning of a piece of a tree?

    A: No. Swamp Thing is a fictional character, and can’t object to anything.

  • For more recent Swamp Thing-ery, hie yourself hither to Roots of the Swamp Thing, which has had a flurry of entries covering recent events and historical material involving the big green fella.

  • And finally:

    “The Joker becomes Swamp Thing Alec Holland does not become part of the Green, the Joker does. All Swamp Thing issues are retroactively taken out of continuity, replacing them with Joker-Swamp Thing. How does this affect things?”

    I shudder to think.

Look what I smurfed.

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It’s only fair that, since I slagged the typeface in the new Smurfs books so hard, I point out when they did something with the lettering that made me laugh.

So here’s this, from The Purple Smurfs:


And let’s compare that “Hey Look!” to the logo on this collection of Harvey Kurtzman’s classic comic strip of the same name:


A closer look at the logo:


And just for the heck of it, here are a couple of samples of the Kurtzman strip, with some variations on that logo.

Now, I have no idea if this little tribute to Kurtzman is new to this volume, and/or if it’s something that everyone knows about and I, Captain Obvious, am pointing out (which I have a history of doing), but I’m putting it out there anyway. So there. Plus, I Googled it and didn’t see anything about it. Well, sorta Googled it. Skimmed a couple of pages of results, anyway.

In conclusion: Smurfs – I have, won’t you?

• • •

Speaking of the Googling, in regards to the title of a post of mine from a couple of days ago…I appear to be the #2 Google result for Teaser and the Blacksmith (if the search terms are enclosed in quotes, that is).

And folks thought I’d never amount to anything.