Mike Sterling's Progressive RuinWhere legends live since 1969

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

§ October 28th, 2010 § Filed under End of Civilization § 19 Comments

Hey, it’s a new Previews catalog (November 2010), follow along in your own copy, you know the drill:

p. 138 – Infestation #1:

Hmmm…a zombie crossover event involving Star Trek, G.I. Joe, Transformers, Ghostbusters, etc. I was going to write some kind of lengthy essay about zombies and how played out they are and how they’re overused as gimmicks to jumpstart moribund properties and so on, but I’d like to get this installment of End of Civilization wrapped up pretty quick so I can get back to playing Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare.

p. 145 – This guy:

I wasn’t going to say anything, since this is a caricature of a real dude being used as IDW’s “mascot,” popping up throughout the solicitations, but…man, I don’t know, he’s kinda scaring me. YES, I WILL ORDER THE COMICS, PLEASE STOP MAGICALLY APPEARING BEFORE ME, TINY SALESPERSON.

p. 216 – Sarah Palin Versus The World:

I can’t even work up the surprise anymore.

p. 243 – Darkwing Duck #5 Long Beach Comic Con Get-A-Sketch Variant:

Little did you know that my old pal, Ian Brill, writer of Darkwing Duck, just loves drawing things, so be sure to bring this sketch cover up to him at cons and insist that he draw nothing less than the entire Darkwing Duck cast fighting the entire cast of Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers (which he’s also writing). Tell him Mike sent you.

p. 254 – Kevin Smith’s Kato #10:

You know, with a new female Kato…it was only a matter of time before she ended up mostly naked on a cover.

p. 267 – Nancy Is Happy: Complete Dailies 1942 – 1945:

Some may consider a Nancy collection to be the End of Civilization. I consider it a reason to keep on living.

p. 269 – The Overstreet Hall of Fame NYCC/Fan Edition:

If you’re lucky, you can get Bob Overstreet himself to draw something on this sketch cover. Maybe a price guide entry for something that features a headlight cover, an injury to eye panel, excessive gore, Betty and Veronica in lingerie, and a $355 price tag in NM condition.

p. 278 – Cursed Pirate Girl The Collected Edition Vol. 1 TP:

So there was Employee Aaron, at the San Diego Comic Con, standing in front of this cartoonist’s table picking up a copy of Cursed Pirate Girl #3 for himself. Meanwhile, his kind and goodhearted boss, Mike, was back at the shop a few hundred miles north of the event, and unable to also buy a copy of #3, which had been solicited through Diamond but canceled. And there was Aaron, knowing Mike still needed a copy of #3, handing money to the cartoonist in exchange for a copy, but oh no, at no time does it ever occur to him to pick up a second copy for poor ol’ Mike, struggling alone back at the store while Aaron is off nonchalantly not buying Mike comics and proposing to his girlfriend and stuff. And lo, did Mike lord this over him at every possible opportunity when Aaron returned from his little adventure sans an extra copy of Cursed Pirate Girl #3.

Anyway, Aaron hurriedly pointed out this solicitation to me when he spotted it, in some desperate attempt to stave off his death at my hands. Only if it actually arrives, my friend…only if the book actually arrives.

p. 324 – The Woodstock Generation Trading Cards:

The set was only supposed to be about 100 cards, but thousands of other cards somehow rushed in and crashed the collection.

…That sounded funnier in my head.

p. 326 – Deadpool Icon Black Hooded Pullover:

“Man, I love cross sections of old moldy tomatoes! Where can I get a pullover like that?”

p. 330 – The Joker Dark Detective #1 Military Green T-Shirt:

These Tea Partiers are getting awfully aggressive with their tactics lately.

OR

Meg Whitman’s campaign sure took an ugly turn.

OR

In retrospect, Rand Paul probably shouldn’t have handed these shirts out to his supporters.

OR

I knew those Obamacare death panels were gonna be trouble!

p. 331 – Blade Runner Replicant Gray T-Shirt:

Oh, great, now we’re going to be arguing whether Harrison Ford’s character was wearing one of these under his coat.

p. 332 – Star Wars A New Hope Luke Ceremony Jacket Prop Replica:

Oh, sure, I don’t see Chewbacca getting any kind of ceremony prop replica! The Wookiee gets screwed again.

p. 332 – World of Warcraft Murloc Green Zip-up Hoodie:

So close to a Sleestak hoodie. So close.

p. 344 – World’s Greatest Heroes Retro Action Figures:

Behold, the tragedy of rickets.

J’onn J’onzz insists on wearing flesh colored bodystockings for all of his nude scenes.

On second thought, maybe Smallville should avoid a live action version of Darkseid.

p. 345 – 8-Inch D-I-Y Toy Truck:

Graffiti artists should plan out their work on a small scale first, before actually painting all over some shipping company’s vehicles.

p. 349 – Harry Potter Ultimate Dueling Battle Trainer:

Apparently you basically wave your wand at an animated Voldemort head.

…Those of you waiting for a Hermione version of this toy can just keep on waiting, you weirdos. Go “wave your wand” somewhere else.

p. 362 – Iron Man 2 Movie Mark V Briefcase Suit Prop Replica:

I’m going to answer the question you all have about this product: yes, it’s just a regular briefcase inside. I know everyone’s first reaction, just for the briefest of moments, in defiance of all logic, is going to be “does it turn into the suit,” even though you know full well it’s not going to.

At least, I thought that for a split second. Surely I’m not alone in this.

…

Dammit.

p. 366 – Star Wars Commando Cody “Order 66” 1/5 Scale Resin Statue:

Relive that moment when the Clone Troopers get their instructions to slaughter their Jedi allies…or prepare for that moment when the very young children watching the Clone Wars cartoon finally put two-and-two together and realize that Obi-Wan and Ashoka’s trooper pals will eventually turn on them. …Fun for the whole family!