NOTICE: the Joker is a pretty blossom.
…That is all.
from World’s Finest #129 (November 1962) by Dave Wood, Jim Mooney & Sheldon Moldoff
Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.
It’s that time once again, when I flip through the new Diamond Previews and pick out and poke at those new goodies that catch my attention. And if you want to follow along, grab your copy of the October 2011 edition and…um, follow along, I suppose!
p. 131 – Hellblazer Annual #1:
Finally! At long last, a Hellblazer annual! I’ve been waiting so long for the Hellblazer series to be given a chance to shine in a special extra-length adventure! And by “waiting so long” I mean “the twenty years since the last Hellblazer Annual #1.”
p. 138 – Superman Patina Mini Statue:
This just reminds me that, aside from movie tie-in merchandise, we’re probably not going to see a whole lot of licensing with Superman in the new shortsless get-up.
p. 139 – Just-Us-League of Stupid Heroes Series 1 Action Figures:
Huh. These are supposed to be parody figures, but they didn’t change Aquaman at all.
p. 145 – Snake Eyes #8:
With a special photo-cover featuring an exclusive look at a scene from the next G.I. Joe movie! Or pics of G.I. Joe action figures. Same diff.
p. 223 – Evil Spock T-Shirt:
I think they misspelled “Sexy.”
p. 229 – Archie #627 Archie Meets KISS Part 1:
I hope this leads into future storylines where the Archie gang meets other musical acts. “Archie Meets G.G. Allin” is the one I look forward to the most, I think. …Don’t use G.G.’s microphone, Reggie!
p. 266 – Lord of the Jungle #1:
“For the first time in its 100 year history the classic Edgar Rice Burroughs story, Tarzan of the Apes is told UNCENSORED!”
“First time,” eh? AHEM. I beg to differ:
p. 337 – 1000 Ways to Die TPB:
Mostly, I’m just amazed there’s a comic book version of this TV show. I think they missed a bet, though, in not focusing on the many ways comic book characters die. …Would have had the Ted Kord Blue Beetle fans interested, at least.
p. 341 – The DC Superhero Chess Figure Collector Magazine:
The characters from Checkmate are going to be featured in this series eventually, aren’t they?
p. 345 – If You Give A Kid A Cookie, Will He Shut the F*** Up? HC:
So is making faux-kids’ books with profanities in the title the new fad now? Charlotte’s F***ing Web? Harry Potter and the Chamber of S**t? What the C*** Did I See on Mulberry Street? From the F***ed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler?
Anyway, as literary fads go, it’s better than zombies. Unless they mix those in, too. It’s Motherf***ing Zombies, Charlie Brown!
p. 345 – Bugf#ck The Worthless Wit & Wisdom of Harlan Ellison:
And here’s another faux-kids’ bo…oh, wait, hold on. The “f#ck” threw me off.
p. 357 – Splitscream T-Shirt:
Uh…what?
p. 364 – The Punisher Jakes Knit Cap:
Just imagine if this was the Punisher’s identifying clothing, instead of the skull shirt. I don’t know if that would be hilarious or somehow even more terrifying.
p. 368 – Ghostbusters Terror Dog Light-Up Mini Statue:
So is this Sigourney Weaver, or is this Rick Moranis? …Somewhere, a Ghostbusters fan is worrying about this. Or, uh, just buying two of them, I guess.
p. 370 – Femme Fatales Bo Peep PVC Statue:
According to the solicit, the statue “re-imagines the demure shepherdess as a fierce highlands warrior with wolfskin boots and gauntlets and a shepherd’s crook that will take your head off.” …”Re-imagines” seems like understating it just slightly.
p. 382 – Mr. Potato Head Kiss 2011 Collector Set:
So when do these guys team up with Archie? Also, how different is this set from ones in previous years? Is the 1983 Collector Set sans makeup? …Or you can just take off the makeup pieces, maybe.
p. 398 – Disney Pirates of the Caribbean Captain Jack Sparrow Mickey Vinyl Collector Doll:
I am upsetting myself by picturing Mickey in the place of Johnny Depp in all the Pirates films, so I’m stopping now.
p. 399 – Doctor Who Eleventh Doctor with Cowboy Hat Figure:
Has the Doctor shown up in a sombrero yet? I’d buy a Doctor Who Eleventh Doctor with Sombrero figure.
p. 410 – Mixo DC Heroes Kooky Kans:
Apparently these are like cylindrical lunch boxes, or…something, I guess? But I swear, when I first glanced at the picture, I thought it was superhero-themed deodorant cans. Too bad…that’d probably do well at conventions.
p. 411 – Superman and Supergirl Emblem Pendants:
The Supergirl emblem’s solicitation text states that Supergirl “wears a distinctive version of the House of El’s sigil.” And by “distinctive” they mean “perhaps…slightly more pinkish, maybe?” Or “more glare in the photo?”
p. 411 – DC Comics Pint Glasses:
“Superman Pick-Up Lines” is about as fundamental misunderstanding of the character as…well, this. And let’s face it, “wanna come to my Batcave” just plain crosses the line from “subtext” to full-on “text.”
p. 418 – Star Trek Mighty Wallets:
So here I was, all ready to make a joke about “they don’t use money in Star Trek‘s future, hurr hurr,” but Previews totally beats me to it in the actual solicitation text. …Well played, Previews, well played. You have won this battle.
p. 418 – Star Wars Imperial Forces Wallpaper:
In case you needed something to finish off the nursery, along with the TIE fighter mobile, the R2-D2-shaped milk bottle, and the furry Ewok diapers. My best to you, your spouse, and, of course, baby Lobot.
p. 418 – Star Wars Wacky Wisecracks Figures:
…And there was no forgiveness, not ever again.
The mystery word balloon.
So a gentleman dropped by the store with a few pages of original comic art for sale…we don’t really deal in original art, but we brokered a deal between that person and one of our regular customers. He ended up buying a Kirby Hulk page from the fellow, and passed on the other pages — a couple of Carmine Infantino pages from a 1980s Green Lantern back-up story, and a Gil Kane page I only got a brief look at and didn’t identify.
I wish I did identify the Kane page, because the next day I happened to spot this underneath one of the store’s glass counters:
It’s a word balloon that had apparently been pasted onto a page, though clearly the glue had become old and the balloon popped right off. It’s not from the Green Lantern back-ups, so it must be from the Gil Kane page. The dialogue suggests it’s from Wonder Woman, though the page didn’t seem to be a Wonder Woman page just from my brief glance at it. Could be wrong, though.
Anyway, I’m hoping this customer of ours has the contact info for the gentleman he bought the art from so I can return this loose balloon to its proper place. Also, slightly curious to see what the original balloon said that this new one was covering. Oh, and what comic this is actually from, too, I suppose.
A subtle hint.
The California tax law that caused Amazon to boot CA residents from their Associates program has been repealed, so my Amazon search box and links have returned to the sidebar. Just in case, you know, you happen to need to buy a $3000 camera and are stuck on where to go for one.
Also, click on the Bureau Chiefs link and pick up something from there while you’re at it. I get no direct commission from that, aside from a mild sense of bemusement that someone, somewhere, might be drinking coffee out of a mug with my “ATM Machine” gag on it.
I’m totally posting this without telling Employee Aaron first…
…but if he didn’t leave his doodles just hangin’ around the store, I wouldn’t add my own scrawlings to them and then post ’em on the internets:
That would be my little addition ruining Aaron’s drawing, in the right hand corner there. …WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM.
I’m still feeling under the weather…
…so for today’s post, you get a picture of Superman with a puppy:
…because Superman with a puppy makes everything feel better.
Back tomorrow, hopefully.
image from DC Comics Presents #94 (June 1986) by Barbara Randall, Bob Greenberger, Tom Mandrake & Don Heck
I’m taking a day off…
…so I’m going let my good pal Dorian handle the Saturday Sluggo shenanigans.
See you folks tomorrow!
I sometimes get emails just like this.
From the letter column for Star Spangled War Stories #126 (April-May 1966):
“RK” being “Robert Kanigher,” natch. (Fake letter run to help dissuade similar letters from pouring in, or real reader comment pulled out and used as a lesson in what editors don’t want to see? No idea.)
From the same issue, an in-house ad that, I can only assume, resulted in the highest sales ever for any issue of Metal Men:
I vote “hotcha.” I mean, who doesn’t like hotcha?
What the well-dressed Swamp Thing fan will be wearing very soon.
I was going to save these for my next End of Civilization post, but decided I couldn’t wait. Now, I’m not much of a t-shirt wearer, but I think I will make an exception for these fine items, available in the October issue of Previews:
That’s the cover of the new Swamp Thing #1 by Yanick Paquette, and here is a plain ol’ logo shirt:
…one of which I’ve been awaiting for a long time. At last, I can finally retire (well, more retire) this worn-out piece of clothing.
In other news…I picked up five of the new DC #1s this week (minor spoilers ahead):
- Superman #1: lots of stuff crammed into this issue — interesting, but can’t really describe it as “enjoyable” — and the last hope that someone, anyone, could make Superman’s new costume look good is finally dashed…though George Perez comes closest on the cover.
- Aquaman #1: pulls off the nice trick of taking all the criticisms and mockeries aimed at Aquaman over the years and putting them in the mouths of a bunch of folks harassing our fishy friend. Effectively puts reader in position of siding with the hero against all those old jokes, probably a more effective defense than attempts at bad-assifying the character. I wasn’t planning to get this, but picked it up on a whim and, surprisingly, turned out to be one of my favorite relaunches of this whole New 52 hoohar.
- Fury of Firestorm #1: noted just recently that I love the Firestorm character, but I’m not quite sure what I think of this new version. It’s a complete reboot, which seems to be taking things in a slightly different direction, and…I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. I’ll keep reading and see what happens. However, I am not down with reboot Cliff Carmichael…sorry, this is “Superman’s new costume” level of tragedy.
- Green Lantern: New Guardians #1: think this may be the “one Green Lantern title too many” series. I’ve said before that I’ve probably had enough of the different-colored Lantern corps for the time being, so it’s probably not you, baby, it’s me. However, totally judging this from just this one issue, this feels like it’s more suited to a storyline in another GL book rather than a series on its own. Then again, you can probably say that about every GL series beyond the first one.
- Justice League Dark #1: only picked it up because of John Constantine, not expecting much…but turned out to be not half-bad. Still in the “let’s get the band together” part of the story, being only the first issue an’ all, but am looking forward to more. And looking forward to any possible Swamp Thing cameos, but that goes without saying.
Also picked up Love & Rockets #4 by those Jaime and Gilbert cats, which is, as usual, a masterpiece of comics storytelling despite its lack of Swamp Thing. L&R, always recommended.
…If you want reviews of all of last week’s DC #1s, pal Dorian has got you covered.
One of these days, 142-year-old Nugget Pete is going to ego-surf his own name through Google and find this post.
§ October 5th, 2011 § Filed under letters of comment, sugar and spike § 4 Comments
So a couple of weeks ago I was talking about a Sugar and Spike story dedicated to “Nugget Pete,” a 90-something year old gent who’d been writing in and requesting an S&S story featuring Native Americans.
Well, longtime Ruinite C. Elam popped into the comments on that post to drop in a couple of message board links giving us a little more detail on Mr. N. Pete. Those message board entries were made only days after my own initial posting, so clearly the Nugget Pete zeitgeist was making its way across the comics nerdinet.
The first features a Sugar and Spike letter column containing what seems to be Nugget Pete’s first letter to the series, written back when Pete was but a strapping young lad of 87. And, sure enough, he’s asking for stories with Native Americans. “I suggest you put in something about cowboys and Indians – That never hurt a magazine yet.” …Words to live by!
The second link has another S&S letter column, this time from another fan (this one only 75 years old!) referring back to Nugget Pete’s letter and wondering if that was any inspiration for the grandpa/cowboy character Shelly Mayer introduced into the S&S strip. Mayer’s response, paraphrased: “yeah, probably.”
Anyway, that was a nice follow-up to what was (to me, anyway) an interesting tidbit of funnybook history. Thanks, C. Elam, for pointing that out to me!