Every week, it’s another New Comics Day.

So a couple weeks ago we had some severe shortages on our comics order, which I had dutifully called in to Diamond in the hopes of receiving replacements. Well, I guess we can kiss the latest issue of Spider-Girl goodbye, since our shortage on that particular comic was put into the system as a normal reorder, and not as a priority shortage replacement…and since we didn’t find this out until yesterday, no copies are left to be had, apparently.

Also, I had placed an immediate reorder on the new Batman Annual, the one that explains the whole Jason Todd thing (and was also a stealth Infinite Crisis tie-in), as soon as that issue had come in. We were invoiced for that reorder this week…but the comics were shorted from our shipment. And, yes, as you may have heard, that Batman Annual has gone to a second printing…so because someone screwed up, we’re out our first printings of this funnybook.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…I hate comics.

With that in mind, let’s look at a few things that came in this week:

Infinite Crisis Secret Files 2006 – Unlike most in the Secret Files series, this comic is actually nearly all story, with only four pin-up/profile pages at the end. It’s effectively Infinite Crisis #…5 1/2? 4 1/2? God help us, #0? At any rate, if you’re enjoying IC, you’ll probably dig this comic, too…lots of nice art by Jerry Ordway and Dan Jurgens, and it’s good to see Marv Wolfman writing these characters again.

Dorothy #5 – Okay, it actually came out last week, but I’ve been lazy and didn’t get around to it ’til yesterday. I’ve been enjoying this dark take on the Oz-iverse quite a bit, and its only downside is the length of time between issues. This issue is a bit talky…mostly Dorothy arguing with the munchkins about wanting to go home and wanting nothing to do with the internal doings of Oz…but it’s as visually appealing as ever. It’s a rare example of a “fumetti”-type comic that is actually on par with a more traditionally-illustrated funnybook, and highly recommended. (See the official site for some samples…I’ve found that issue #4, the origin of the Scarecrow, really grabs new readers. If you want to try an issue out, I suggest that one.)

Planetary Brigade #2 – Okay, I know, it’s yet another example of “hey, it’s a fat guy, and he runs a comic book store, and he’s unappealing to women! Hoo hah!” But this particular fat guy is, in fact, the Brigade’s own Mr. Brilliant…a bit put-upon, a bit arrogant, a bit cowardly, and more of a fully fleshed-out, somewhat sympathetic character than the cliche he appears to be at first glance. His banter with his sexy teammate, Pussycat (whom he lets live rent-free in the apartment above the store), is amusing, and hints at a somewhat deeper friendship than either are willing to admit. But, as a fat guy who runs a comic book store, perhaps that’s just wishful thinking on my part. Anyway, the J.M. DeMatteis/Keith Giffen team successfully manage that balance between wacky humor, witty dialogue, and genuine emotion, as they did in the best of their ’80s Justice League run. Even though we all know the team’s tragic end (the superhero team, not DeMatteis/Giffen…see Hero Squared), it doesn’t color the enjoyment of their antics, which will hopefully continue for some time to come. The art, like in the first issue, is provided by a number of different contributors…and Fabio Moon’s work on the lead chapter is particularly exceptional. Humorous, highly detailed, and emotive…the rest of the book doesn’t look too shabby, either.

Okay, enough of the longer reviews none of you read anyway…let’s have some quickies:

Showcase Presents Superman Family Vol. 1 – Nearly 600 pages of Silver Age Jimmy Olsen stories…Heaven looks a little bit like this. There’s more imagination on one page of this book than you’d find in an entire issue of something like Red Sonja/Claw: Devil’s Hands.

Painkiller Jane #1 – “Hey, is this based on the Sci-Fi Channel movie?” No, nobody actually asked that…that would imply people saw the Sci-Fi Channel movie.

Spike Versus Dracula #1 – A vast improvement over the appalling Spike: Old Wounds…this comic looks like it was actually illustrated, rather than traced. Peter David brings us the origin of the Spike/Dracula conflict (explaining a throwaway gag from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series in the process). Fun stuff.

Flaming Carrot Comics Photo Comic Special #1 – Must be seen to be believed. So see it. Absolutely 100% fantastic.

Conan: Book of Thoth – Not a Conan fan, really, but was almost tempted by the Kelley Jones art. A nice looking book.

Aspen Swimsuit Special #1 – Isn’t this almost redundant?

Four #28 – I know this is supposed to be Marvel’s more “mature” Fantastic Four title, but it still seems a little strange to read a story about the Invisible Woman fighting domestic violence. There’s a weird disconnect between a Kirby character that fought monsters and aliens, and that same character addressing a serious real world issue. Not saying it shouldn’t be done, just saying…well, it’s odd, is all.

Back Issue #15 – Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez interview, unused ‘Mazing Man script (complete with “20 year reunion” sketch by Stephen DeStefano), Art Adams Werewolf cover, proposed Gorilla Grodd series…how many more things do I have to list before you buy this magazine, already?

Toyfare #105 – Employee Nathan was inordinately amused by the Care Bear on the cover declaring “I’m delicious!” I worry about that boy.


I know some of you may already spotted this on Mark Evanier’s site, but I know of at least one person who’s gonna want to know this: Neal Adams will be on Coast to Coast AM Thursday night discussing his “new model of the universe.” How this will be anything less than absolutely brilliant, I can’t imagine.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of this yesterday.

From Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

King Arthur: “Old woman!”

Dennis: “‘Man!'”

King Arthur: “‘Man,’ sorry…what knight lives in that castle over there?”

Dennis: “I’m 37.”

King Arthur: “What?”

Dennis: “I’m 37, I’m not old.”

Me neither, Dennis, me neither.

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes yesterday…they were much appreciated. My sister’s birthday is today, so please think some good birthday thoughts for her as well!


Just like your average radio “comedy” talk show host, I’ve stolen a story from FARK: “School Adopts Superhero Mascot” – yeah, I don’t imagine that state of affairs will last terribly long.


A quick look at the new DC solicitations:

A series of one-shots bridging the gap between the first two Superman movies and the forthcoming Superman Returns are coming, with director Bryan Singer’s apparent involvement. Sadly, the fates of Gus Gorman and Lex Luthor’s nephew Lenny will remain unrevealed. (Four words: “MA KENT ONE SHOT.” Fantastic.)

Superman/Doomsday Omnibus TP – I expect this to sell very well, given the low price point for the amount of material you’re getting. The Death of Superman trade is still a regular seller for us after all these years, and the follow-up Doomsday material still moves from the back issue bins…yeah, this will be a good stock item.

I like Mogo (the planet Green Lantern), but not enough to read Ion #3. Given the last time this writer handled Kyle Rayner, I think I can safely avoid this return performance.

METAL MEN ARCHIVES.


Solo #11 – Will probably be the best issue of Solo yet, featuring big heaping piles of Sergio Aragones. Did you like DC Super Stars #13? Then you’ll like this.

Sloth – A new longform graphic novel from Gilbert Hernandez is always welcome. 128 black and white pages in a hardcover for $19.99? By Gilbert? That’s value, friends.


“Chief O’Hara to be Named Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security”

“O’Hara, who worked as a private security consultant from 1984 until his retirement in 1998, served as police chief in Gotham while the city was being overrun by ludicrous costumed villains, absurdly eccentric criminals, and dangerous maniacs. He developed a close working relationship with police commissioner James Gordon, as well as Gotham’s famed superhero, Batman.”

3.1415926535897932384626433832….*


March 13, 1781 – Sir William Herschel discovers Uranus – grade school comedians are forever in his debt.

March 13, 1911 – Noted fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard born.

March 13, 1916 – Krazy Kat, Bugologist animated short (based on the George Herriman comic strip) released.

March 13, 1921 – Mad Magazine cartoonist Al Jaffee is born.

March 13, 1930 – Bunny Yeager, photographer of Bettie Page, born.

March 13, 1939 – Neil Sedaka born.

March 13, 1942(?) – Charo born! Cuchi-cuchi!

March 13, 1950 – William H. Macy, star of Mystery Men, is born.

March 13, 1964 – Kitty Genovese’s murder is witnessed by several people, none of whom attempted to help her or call the police. Alan Moore would use this incident in Watchmen…an article reprinting all the related panels may be found here (though it notes the date as the 14th, which contradicts most other sources).

March 13, 1969 – Mike Sterling is born. The world trembles in fear.

March 13, 1969 – Amazing Spider-Man #73 is released to newsstands (see here for details).

March 13, 1983 – Evil Dead star Bruce Campbell marries Christine Deveau.

March 13, 1988 – Assumed birthdate of Irma Lair, from Walt Disney’s W.I.T.C.H.

March 13, 1992 – Shakes the Clown, Bobcat Goldthwait’s finest cinematic achievement, released in the U.S.

March 13, 1992 – This fellow from Mike Kazaleh’s Har Har #2 celebrates his birthday in funnybook form.

March 13, 1997 – The “Phoenix Lights” are witnessed over Phoenix, Arizona.

March 13, 1999 – Lee Falk, creator of The Phantom, dies.

March 13, 2006 – Mike Sterling celebrates his 37th birthday. The world trembles in pity.

* It’s my party and I’ll pi if I want to.

Super quick update explosion.

1. Tried to watch Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean’s Mirrormask the other night. Fell asleep. I’m chalking it up to being probably too old tired to watch it when I did, but there not being a whole lot of “there” there to keep me interested may have been part of it, too. Very pretty, but not compelling. I’ll try again later.

2. This story (which Franklin Harris pointed out a few days back), about a murder suspect with several aliases taken from comic book characters, currently dominates the Google news search for “comic book.” As I write this, the first few pages of results are primarily this particular news item. Now there’s your positive view of comics, just in time for several big budget blockbuster funnybook movies.

3. How to linkblog: do it like Neilalien. That’s quality linkage, sir.

4. Just found this Spanish weblog post which says some nice things about my Bat-Week posts from a few weeks ago. (Bat-Week started here…and would it be tooting my own horn too much if I were to say that this post is probably my single favorite thing I’ve done on this site?)

5. Confidential to Kid Chris: your damned Aquaman shirt should be in this week.

"…This is the final touch that will set you apart from everyone."

Ladies and gentlemen…Hellboy Pants:

“All real leather Hellboy pants. Just like those worn by Ron Perlman in the sensational 2004 movie.

“These beautiful heavy black leather pants are highly detailed and come in all sizes.

“If you are looking for quality and authenticity to complete your look this is the final touch that will set you apart from everyone.”


Employee Aaron’s reaction to that eBay listing:

Me: “Hey, these pants come in all sizes!”

Aaron: “Wow, I come in all sizes!”

I so don’t want to know, you have no idea.


Yesterday at work, I was talking about Marvel action figures with one of our customers, and the MODOK action figure was mentioned. This is how that part of the conversation went:

Customer: “I have the old MODOK figure, but it doesn’t have a lot of articulation.”

Me: “Oh, just like the real MODOK then.”

…

“Just like the real MODOK then.”

“REAL MODOK.”

I hate me.


In other MODOK action figure news, I was under the assumption that the new MODOK figure (shown here) was going to be available in an upcoming Marvel Legends series. And, well, it is, but it’s going to be distributed like that Galactus figure…each figure in the series will come with a piece of MODOK, so you’ll have to buy them all in order to assemble your own villainous floating head. Rats.

Oh, and at that Galactus link, he’s described as “the gargantuan archenemy of the Avengers” instead of the Fantastic Four. Well, I guess that’s technically true, since Galactus was always trying to eat the Earth, and thus making himself the enemy of all the folks living here…including the Avengers, presumably.

Thank God I was here to set that straight.


So there’s this comic shop about an hour’s drive north of us that we’ve been doing business with for years. We’re always contacting each other trying to track down goodies for customers and whatnot, we post their flyers, they post ours…we get along swimmingly. Well, as it turns out, a young lady employed there, with whom I’ve spoken on the phone a handful of times, just happens to be a comics weblogger her own self. I just figured that out yesterday, when she gave me her name on the phone, and I finally pieced that together with some of the things she’s said about her job and locale on her site, along with the name she’s left in my comments sections. Yeah, I’m a real Miss Marple, but I still forced myself to double-check her site before I just blurted out “AM YOU COMICS BLOGGER ALSO?”

You can see her own reaction to finding out about my semi-secret double ‘blogging life here. And read her site…good reviews and commentary there.

Superman Versus Goku.

YTMND link: Superman/Goku comparison – loud, loud sound.

“I created this website especially for those of you who still dought Goku’s superiority over Superman. Death to Superman!” (And that’s pretty much the entire content of that site.)

“Goku Vs. Superman!!!!!!!!!!!????????” – links to a 16-page Superman vs. Goku story.

Superhero Hype: Goku Vs. Superman:

“Superman can destroy the moon.

Goku can destroy a universe.

Hard to tell what’s more impressive.

Goku’s also faster, as he was at lightspeed in his teens.

Finally, Goku is an exponentially better fighter than Superman.

Goku wins. Quite easily.”

Mister Poll: Superman or Goku:

“Me and my son were arguing over who was the stronger of the two. Anyone have any input?”

DragonWorld: DragonBall RolePlaying Game:

“Goku could handily beat the other incarnations of Superman, only Pre-Crisis Supes would be any kind of chalange.”

Bloody-Disgusting.com:

“Even GOD has asked Son Goku for Help! It doesn’t even matter if it’s Pre-Crisis Superman. Son Goku is just too powerful. Superman can’t beat a lot of guys in the Dragonball Universe.”

DVDFile.com:

“I hate both of them, but seeing that Goku could go to SS3 and fucking slaughter Superman (and Goku has a shitload of stamina), so my vote goes to Goku.”

PencilJack.com:

“i used to be a huge dragonball z fan, and i still like it, just not as intensely, so im gonna vote for goku, simply because superman has never done those sick fadeouts/fade back in behind the guy.”

Animenation.net:

“Alright….I just got in the biggest argument over this with one of my friends. Goku would just demolish superman in every single way. Look at the facts, Superman can been hert by man made weapons and as for Goku…NO. Im talkin about Goku at his max of 1 bill, nah …even SS2 would demolish him. And dont give me that criptonite ****, Doomsday fuked him up without it and its so obviouse that Superman has never fought someone as strong as Goku…cmon”

“SUPERMAN SCKS!!!AND THE REST OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE:”

“DRAGONBALLZ is in a hgh league and you gotta accept that. Very Happy some idoits on the web think superman can beat goku…wel they are crazy cause goku can rip superamn in half without even powering up..why even krillin ,yamcha cn du it. tien does waste tme fighting weaklings lik superman…vegeta dnt even get me started”

Inksandwich.com:

“Chuck Norris could roundhouse kick Superman and Goku before they even thought about fighting him.”

Internet message boards make Superman cry.

Oh, dear:

“If superman was a black ghetto person”

“If superman was born in the hood instead of smallville, into a more outgoing, less geeky type of person do you guys think the story would be more exciteing.”

“NOT ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE GHETTO!!!!! SUPER IS BORING”

“no it wouldnt…stupid thread…ur being stereotypical here..”


“Mummra beat Superman with one hit!!”

“I just read the superman/Thundercats crossover and I couldn’t believe that mummra decked superman with just one hit!! Damn!! I had no clue Mummra was that powerful”

“Mummra = Uber powerful magic

Supes vulnerabilities: Kryptonite and Magic”

“Whats the problem by being beat by Mum-Ra? Pre Crisis Superman went down after one shot from Skeletor. The only reason why Lion-O even beats him its because his sword.”

“WTF!?? Skeletor beat pre Crisis Superman!!! Damn, Skeletor’s pretty damn awsome. I’d love to see Mumm-ra fight Skeletor.”

“supes deserves that i hate em and mumra beat him with one blow yippieeee”

“DUH!!!!! Superman isn’t exactly that strong and he can’t fight. No wonder he went down with one hit…..”

“Superman isn’t exactly that strong, hu? Your being too emotional about the whole thing, talk to me when your panties dry up.”


“Can Superman & Lois have a kid (you need to read this)”

“This” would be referring to the famous Larry Niven essay “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex,” postulating just what would be entailed in Superman getting it on.

Reactions are as follows:

“Can Superman and Lois have a baby? Scientifically, no. But scientifically speaking, Superman shouldn’t exist at all, so who knows?”

“Okay well I do know that Superman is far to advanced to get a norman human woman pregnant that is why in some comics WonderWoman is usually pregnant with Supermans baby.”

“yeah I remember hearing that back sometime by a friend of mine who always read superman and batman comics,that that was why he could not have sex with someone like Lana or Lois Lane. […] he convinced me Im better off not being him because i cant imiagine not being able to have sex with a girl,thats a thought I dont even want to think about.”

Someone brings up post-Crisis continuity:

“Clark got his powers growing up. When the Kent’s found him as a baby he had no powers. He only started to get them when he reached eight or ten. Thus the baby will have no powers until he reaches a certain age and even then its not certain since he is half human.”

…Which is then countered by Superman: The Movie continuity:

“Didn’t Clark lift Jonathan’s truck up in the air in as a toddler, while smiling?”

And then there’s the Grant Morrison continuity, from DC One Million…um, more or less, I guess:

“according to superman prime idea he busts down gates of heaven or some chit after sleeping in sun for millenia and makes lois immortal like him once he makes her like him then they can have kids….yea… end of line”

And then it gets slightly disturbing:

“Or how could a kyptonian alien fall for a human. Would that be even possible? I mean, maybe, physiologically speaking, she doesn’t have the female kryptonian mannerisms that Kryptonian men may need in order to court a female of the same race. I’m sure they go by different rules genetically.”

And then it…well, read on:

“Maybe he cant even get an ereectioon from an earthling woman… maybe Kryptonian women have a similar manner to Earth men… he only gets turned on by men!”

“Are you emplying that a man who wears tights and underwear outside his uniform could possible be gay???”

“If the writer puts down Clark Kent is a gay whore and then kills him off against a dum ass thug, then Clark Kent is a gay whore who got killed off against a dum ass thug! LOL”

And then someone steps in to set these suckas straight:

“Why is everybody so caught up with this stupid, if superman has sex his sperm will destroy the world idea. whoever made tat up is just ****ing retarded or is high on crack. Goku(DBZ) has had 2 sons so far and chichi is just fine, and any saiyan could rip superman in half, so quit making a big deal about what some geek said.”

Yeah, so take that, geeks.