Mikester

Inspired by folks like pal Tom “liveblogging” the Oscars, I thought I would liveblog my New Comics Day post. So, here we go:

8:45 AM – I begin to work on this post.

8:46 AM – I write the initial liveblogging entry.

8:46 AM – I write the entry noting that I just wrote my initial liveblogging entry.

Er…okay, perhaps I have a few bugs to work out. I’ll get back to you.

Anyway, new funny books:

First, though, I noted last week that a number of items were missing from last Wednesday’s order, including Marvel Zombies, Spider-Girl, and a third of our Infinite Crisis order, among many other items. In cases such as these, Diamond will send out an “emergency” shipment, usually two-day UPS, to get the items to us. However, some wires got crossed somewhere over at the distributor, and the only item we got shipped to us post-haste was the retailer incentive cover for Ms. Marvel, sent by itself in a cardboard box. Everything else was apparently shipped out as one of Diamond’s regular orders, sent out last Monday and due, with any luck, today. So, basically, I could have not bothered insisting on the emergency shipment since we’re getting them a day later than if I had said nothing at all.

Arriving in that box (hopefully) is our extra stock of Marvel’s 99-cent Previews-supplement catalog. We were shorted on them the week they came out, our replacement order was shorted on the following week’s shipment, and they were shorted again on last week’s shipment. So by the time they arrive, I should have at least a week or so to sell them before the next issue (hopefully) arrives.

Feh. Stupid comics.

Anyway, back to the funnybooks that, by some miracle, actually did show up:

Thunderbolts #100 – Okay, I’m officially tired of these cover corner boxes already:

I’m hoping this doesn’t mean we’re going to be seeing that blurb on Marvel’s covers for the next two months, when Identity Crisis Civil War is unleashed upon an unsuspecting comics rack.

Aside from that…Thunderbolts is probably one of my favorite Marvel comics. Just plain, old-fashioned superhero fun…it threatens to collapse under the weight of its own subplots/callbacks to ancient Marvel continuity at times, but in general it’s a fun book. However, and I’m stealing this observation from pal Dorian, this extra-sized issue reprints Thunderbolts ’97 which, we’re guessing, most people buying issue #100 of Thunderbolts will probably already own. However, the lead story is 50 pages (including ads), which would have cost the cover price of this item ($3.99) anyway, making the reprint an extra “free” bonus. On top of that, anniversary issues do tend to get the occasional new reader, so I suppose that reprint would serve as a good intro to the characters. But, still, I would have liked to see reprints of stories from older comics, featuring members of the team.

Boy, I go on a bit. Sorry.

Doll & Creature #1 – Reprints, in color and in comic book form, the Ait/Planerlar graphic novel discussed here. I wasn’t 100% thrilled with the graphic novel, but it was enjoyable enough. Like I said before, fans of The Goon and Hellboy might want to give it a glance.

Liberality for All #2 – I had wondered before if this comic was a right-winger’s satire on left-wingers, or a left-winger goofing on right-wingers…and this is even brought up in the letters column of this issue. (For the record, the creator ain’t sayin’.) However, in that same letters column a “Michael Moore is fat” joke is made, and for no good, logical reason I can articulate, that makes me think that, no, this comic is indeed a right-winger’s satire on left-wingers. However, also in this same letters column, grief is given to one of the commenters for just standing in his comic shop and reading the comic for free (“…A quick flip through is fine, but reading a comic cover to cover, with no intention of buying it, is the mark of a cheapskate“), so good on them.

Identity Crisis Series 2 action figures – To quote pal JP : “Batman‘s deformed!” As for the Black Canary figure…there’s redesigning, and then there’s just making the character look appallingly ugly. I mean, honestly. At least they found something to do with the actual fabric fishnets from all those unsold Zatanna figures.

G.I. Joe Vs. Transformers Vol. 3: Art of War #1 – Dear God, please let there not be any more G.I. Joe versus Transformers comics. Isn’t there enough blight upon the world?

So at work other day, Employee Nathan asked me if Pariah could fly.

Pariah, just in case you don’t remember, is this fellow, who first appeared in Crisis on Infinite Earths:

I seemed to remember a shot or two of Pariah flying in the Crisis, but I did what I usually do when asked a question like this…I busted out our run of DC’s Who’s Who series and looked it up.

Under the “Powers & Weapons” section of Pariah’s entry:

“Pariah possessed no special powers aside from an ability to be drawn to the scene of impending evil, and immortality.”

So, no, flying isn’t explicitly listed as one of his powers.

However, in issue #7, there are indeed a few shots of Pariah flying through space, as I recalled, leading a group of superheroes to the Anti-Monitor:

Okay, this was on some rock floating in outer space, where there would be little or no gravity, but Pariah appears to be directing his flight, rather than just floating in space. And, there is no visual indication that any of the other heroes are giving him a “flight boost” or any other kind of aid.

Plus, as far as I recall, he doesn’t seem to fly in his other comic appearances…though, to be honest I didn’t check ’em all. However, in this scene from DC Comics Presents #94 (June 1986), Superman is shown giving Pariah a lift:

There are a couple of scenes in the War of the Gods mini-series, his other major crossover appearance, where Pariah is floating in mid-air, but he appears to be at the mercy of your typical menacing comic book energy field/explosion/what have you, rather than levitating under his own power.

However, the explanation may simply be this. Since his powers include, as noted previously, “an ability to be drawn to the scene of impending evil,” it’s very possible that that “drawing” business would have been enough to help him direct his flight in weightless space (or over the near-negligible gravity of some decaying asteroid), as shown in Crisis #7. So maybe he can’t normally fly, but can under certain circumstances, if it’s called for, in order to get him to that source of evil.

And that is my answer to you, Employee Nathan.

While we were originally talking about this, we generalized Pariah’s powers as being “drawn to scenes of impending doom” rather than just plain evil, as according to Who’s Who. I wondered briefly about how doomed something had to be in order to draw Pariah there, which caused me to consider, say, a football game:

Announcer #1: “Boy, I have never seen such a one-sided game in all my life! Those guys are getting demolished!”

Announcer #2: “You ain’t kidding! This is the worst blow-out I’ve ever had the misfortune to witn — hey, wait a second, Bob…who’s that on the field?”

Pariah (on the 50 yard line): “Doomed! The Packers are doomed!”

But since he’s drawn specifically to evil, and not necessarily “doom,” (which can take many non-evil forms, such as natural disasters and the like) that particular scenario doesn’t work, I guess. Unless, of course, you consider the Green Bay Packers losing a football game to be evil, and I’m sure some of you do. (And I just picked that team at random, not out of malice, in case someone felt like complaining.)

Anyway, in conclusion, I’m a huge dork. Thank you.

…and, as far as this sort of thing usually goes, the isn’t terrible. It’s watchable, doesn’t overstay its welcome (it’s only about an hour and some change in length), and though the best bit doesn’t come ’til the end, when the team battles the Hulk:

…which involves a lot of fun-to-watch destructive superhero mayhem, it remains reasonably entertaining.

Anyone expecting an exacting adaptation of the Mark Millar/Brian Hitch Ultimates series, on which this was based, is going to be disappointed. For one thing, the characterizations are much lighter…in the comic, the most sympathetic character was Thor, and he was (maybe) crazy. In the movie, the only two heroes with darker aspects to them are Hank “Giant Man” Pym (whose marriage problems and general dickatude are given special focus) and Bruce Banner (who comes across as a emotionally stunted creep). Tony Stark’s drinking problem is hinted at as well.

Unsurprisingly, Stark’s butler Jarvis is no longer the Bitchy Gay Jarvis of the comics…well, maybe he is, but you only really get Lightly Sardonic Jarvis from the two lines he has in the cartoon.

And certain plot points and incidents from the first Ultimate series are reproduced throughout the film, which only served to remind you (as similar circumstances did in the Constantine movie) of how those same scenes were handled better in the comic. Things are simpler, more condensed.

The movie does earn its PG-13 rating with plenty of onscreen deaths…no “falling into the water and landing safely out of harm’s way” here. There is a particularly unsettling and effective scene near the beginning of the film with a space shuttle falling to Earth, its pilot shouting “We’re burning up! We’re burning–” just as the transmission is cut. Plus, the scenes with the recently revived Captain America reuniting with his old war buddies, both alive and dead, is genuinely affecting.

Overall, it’s worth a rental…it’s cheesy, harmless fun for those of you who like the guys in tights punching each other. It doesn’t advance the medium, but it doesn’t set it back, really, either.

The special features include a lengthy discussion of the Avengers comic books (with lots of comments from Kurt Busiek and George Perez), a collection of fan tryouts for voice work on the cartoon (couldn’t finish watching it, it hurt so bad), and a text commentary for the film.

The text commentary…hoo boy. A while back I tried watching the text commentary for Kingdom of Heaven, a mindlessly-entertaining sword-em-up with Orlando Bloom and Liam Neeson, but after a handful of typos and misspellings, I just gave up. It was entirely too frustrating.

Such was the case for Ultimate Avengers‘ similar feature. The commentary is rife with typos, misspellings, and outright grammatical errors throughout the length of the film. An example:

And that’s not the worst of it…you’d think that there would be certain words that couldn’t possibly be spelled incorrectly, considering what film this is. For example, Marvel:

…or Stan:

…or even Ultimates:

Yes, they misspelled “Ultimates.” It’s in the title of the movie. And this wasn’t the only time…it’s misspelled several times over the course of the commentary.

Most of the errors are clearly just typos, what with “Y” being right next to “T” on the keyboard, in the “Stan Lee” example, and I noticed a couple missing or transposed letters here and there as well (“destyoed,” “emloyed,” “Word War II”), not to mention several non-capitalized names (“sub-mariner,” “hulk”). But, honestly, a once-over by an editor would have caught the majority of these, I’m sure. Was the DVD rushed out to market that quickly?

Well, avoid the commentary feature, I guess…hopefully the one on the promised second Ultimate Avengers DVD will be an improvement.

In other news:

Hey, longtime customer (and fledgling pro funnybook artist) Weshoyot has a new column over at The Comics Review. Go, read, tell her I sent you.

Speaking of columns, I have a new installment of BEHIND THE COUNTER up over at Comic Book Galaxy, in which I talk about selling the naughty books.

And as long as I’m on my favorite topic — me — let me point out a few things I just put up on the eBay. These are personal items, duplicates from my collection, which I’m not selling through the store. Bid early, bid often.

A happy (belated) fourth anniversary to Pop Culture Gadabout, which happens to be the first site by a person I didn’t know* to put up a link to mine. He has a swell site, always worth reading.

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I have a question. Are people incapable of seeing whether or not something is in new condition?

As a seller of funnybooks, I regularly get folks in the shop looking to sell their old comics to us, as I may have brought up in the past, once or twice. Sometimes (well, usually) it’s someone who isn’t are mired in the hobby as you or I, who has a bundle of comics from when they were a kid, or they just bought at the swap meet, or some darn thing, and they’re trying to unload them on us for a few bucks. And the collection is almost always introduced with “all these comics are in great shape,” or “new condition,” or “excellent to mint condition.”

And, yeah, if you’ve been reading my site for any length of time, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that, no, the comics are not in new condition. In fact, they usually look like they’ve been hit by a series of fast-moving vehicles. (See my first Comic Book Galaxy column for the Superboy Annual story.)

It came to me last night, as I was looking at a pile of comics a fellow brought it just as we were closing, in terrible condition but promised to be in “perfect shape,” that people just plain can’t see what condition their comics are actually in.

I’m not talking about knowing the difference between “Very Fine” and “Near Mint” — it’s bad enough I have to know that, I wouldn’t expect anyone else to. I mean, looking at a comic that’s stained, with the cover torn (or missing outright), waterlogged, burned, smelling of cat pee, and telling me “it’s in brand new condition!”

Either they’re trying to convince me through constant repetition of their claims that what they’re saying is true (a common strategy in the real world, nowadays), or they think that this is what comics always look like (which is just depressing), or that they think “for the comics’ age” that they’re in relatively nice condition, considering.

Or they honestly can’t tell. If so, would these same people, when they’re buying a new car, overlook a big dent in the door? Would they buy clothes new off the rack that are torn or stained? Surely in these cases they can tell when something looks “new” and when something obviously looks “used.”

And, to reiterate…I don’t mean comics that are “slightly used,” with minor spine creasing, or a touch of sun-fading. I mean “someone used this comic to practice their knife-stabbing technique.” Or “someone was testing the effectiveness of their collection of corrosive acids.” Some people just plain can’t see it…or don’t want to see it, perhaps.

The ultimate reason is probably that they don’t care. It ain’t their hobby, so why should they? Let professional nerds like “comic book store employees” worry about it. All comics are pretty much the same, right? So any old comic should be worth something. And it isn’t that they don’t know that condition is important in this hobby, since the first words out of their mouths is always about how great the condition is on their books.

So what say you, internet pals?

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In that last section, when I tried to type the word “swap,” it kept coming out as “swamp.” In fact, I just did it again right now. See what my obsession with Swamp Thing has done to me?

* In case you’re wondering, the first site to link to me which is by a person I do know is this one. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but any excuse to send a little traffic out in a pal’s direction….

“At least I finally found a way to sell Marville.”

Via Mark Evanier, a gallery of treasury-sized comics from DC, Marvel, and others. Lots of good cover scans, with info on each featured item. The man in charge of the site calls this comic “one of the greatest, craziest comics ever,” and therefore clearly knows what he’s talking about.

And there was a Smurfs treasury, and I didn’t know about it? Gosh dang it….

* Mystery Science Theatre reference…don’t mind me.

Take off those pants, doff that top, and Read A Comic Book Naked today! (But not Power Pack, that’d be creepy.)

Okay, it’s a late reminder, but if you miss it today, read a comic naked tomorrow. I won’t tell Steve if you won’t.

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Shorter version of my post from this morning: Ken is swell, even entertainment can educate, and I need an editor.

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The Jack Chick Tract Generator I linked to a few days ago is working again. Click, sinner.

Pal Andy is facing legal shenanigans from Bill Cosby’s lawyers for hosting the House of Cosby parody animations. And he ain’t backin’ down. Good on him.

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Ain’t It Cool News is offering up their comic book awards for the last year. They’re called the “@$$ies.” Mmm-hmm. Anyway, it’s about 75% Marvel ‘n’ DC stuff, and if I hear that criticism about All Star Batman one more freakin’ time….

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Yesterday at the store:

Employee Nathan: “I think the most underappreciated villains at Marvel must be the Headmen.”

Me: “God help us if there’s ever a MAX version of the Headmen.”

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I promised you all a response, of sorts, to the mighty Ringwood Ken’s State of the Comicsweblogosphere post from a few days back, and I’ve been trying to come up with one, on and off, ever since then. And to be real honest, it’s been a struggle.

As I told Ken in e-mail, my initial attempt at composing said response ended up being longer than the Bible, and thus perhaps a bit trying of the patience of you good people. It was terribly self-indulgent, too…I mean, even more so than the very idea of “blogging” is.

So let me try to respond and further comment briefly (or as briefly as I can manage, and I think you should know by now about how successful I usually am at being “brief”) upon at least one specific point made by Ken in his essay.

First, let me establish something. Now I usually don’t hold up a specific weblogger as a “favorite” — usually, when the topic comes up, I tend to say something along the lines of “I like all the comic webloggers out there,” and to a certain extent, that’s true. Okay, there may be a couple out there that don’t blow my skirt up, but the very idea that all you folks are out there, revealing your thoughts on comics for all to see, mostly on a regular basis, is enough to make me happy. I like that fact that there are so many people expressing themselves however they can on a subject that we all enjoy, and I don’t want to play favorites by saying “this guy is better than that guy” or something similar. But…there is a list of certain webloggers I immediately gravitate to as soon as I see them on the Comics Weblog Update-A-Tron. It’s probably a given that pal Dorian and the other members of the ACAPCWOVCCAOE are on that list, as is comics ‘blogging trailblazer Neilalien. And Ken is on that list as well…I can’t get to his site fast enough as soon as I learn that he’s got something new to say. I once referred to him as “America’s only comics weblogger,” and I may have only been half-joking. He’s one of my favorite webloggers, and I just wanted you (and Ken!) to keep that in mind on the off-chance that it sounds like I’m getting down on him in the slightest.

Well, it looks like I blew the “brief” thing already, but let’s continue anyway.

Ken says:

“There’s a lot of sloppiness in blogging now; we seem to be going more for entertainment than edification….”

And I have to admit, I may have been slacking off slightly on the site lately, but not from a lack of desire. I enjoy doing this weblog, and hope I can continue for some time to come…and when the weblog fad eventually dies out, on the assumption that it’s the 21st century’s CB radio, hopefully I can continue my online discussion of comics in whatever format is to follow.

The real problem is time; Some days I just don’t have the time to devote to putting together a post. That was built into the structure of my posting schedule almost from the start…the reason you get image posts on Wednesdays and Saturdays is because I generally don’t have much time to assemble a post on those days, given my working hours. And sometimes I’m just plain rushed, even on mornings when I would normally have plenty of time to put a post together…stuff happens, can’t be helped.

And that’s when you get the news story posts…the trouble isn’t finding them, it’s making sure I’m not stepping on Tom‘s toes by duplicating anything he’s already posted.

And that’s when you get the message board posts…yes, I know it can be very Fanboy Rampage of me, but where Graeme was mostly following the comic news topics of the day via board postings, and thus actually had some kind of point to make, I’m just looking for crazy talk. I mean, how else would we have learned about the glory that is…the Kryptonite Lightsaber? And the reason I think it’s sloppy posting on my part is because I could easily do that all day. I could do nothing but quotes from crazy message boards. It’s an easy fallback position when I don’t have the time or inclination to provide my own content. I know this type of post can be fun to read, and most of you seem to enjoy it, but it can be a lazy out for me. It may not be cheating, but it feels like cheating.

Ken mentions that folks in the comicsweblogosphere are going more for entertainment than education, and…well, I don’t know that there’s really anything wrong with that. I sympathize with his point, that we all have forums for our voices, that some of us carry some minimal amount of weight and influence with our readers, and we should use our influence to guide our readers and expose them to new works and new ideas.

On the other hand…when I started this site, I never expected more than a handful of readers. That I have any influence at all on anybody, beyond (hopefully) providing a few moments of amusement, usually comes as a shock to me.

Now, do I actually think that I am educating anybody? I’d like to think so. I’ve turned a few people on to various books…even though I see pal Tom all the time, it was my constant plugging of Little Lulu on the site that got him to try it out. And a few of my other customers who are aware of my site have tried out various books due to my online recommendations.

I also like to think I’ve taught a few comic fans out there about what it’s like for the guy on the other side of the comic shoppe counter. Not all of us funnybook dealers are the Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy. At least, I hope that’s what you’re taking away from my rants and venting. (“Worst…weblog…ever.”)

As for the emphasizing entertainment part…well, to repeat, I see Ken’s point. Going for the joke or the cheap shot over the thoughtful analysis may seem like a wasted opportunity. But I think some education can slip into the entertainment…it’s not like we’re Superdickery, where it seems a lot of the people just throwing panels up for mockery don’t really seem to know anything about comics. Most of us have an understanding of the history of the characters and of the medium, and hopefully that comes across in some of the more extensive detailings of the oddities of yesteryear.

Not that there’s really anything wrong with just throwing a random bizarre panel out there, though. A good laugh is its own reward.

That there’s any kind of serious, thoughtful, and extensive analysis at all on any weblogs is something to be grateful for. I mean, what do you want for free? Most of us aren’t getting paid for this. We’re just doing this for fun, as extensions of our hobbies. I like comic books, I like to talk about comic books, and I wanted a forum for sharing my enjoyment of comics with other people, without the undercurrent of “I like this comic, and I think you should give me money for it” that can occur when I talk about comics at the store.

But the beauty of weblogging, as it exists today, is that if you don’t like your reading options out there, it’s really easy to start a weblog of your own. If you don’t think your point of view is being represented, or that topics aren’t being discussed to the extent that you think they should be discussed…well, get off your hinder and get your site going. I would like to see what you have to say.