Mikester

You know, I do have a birthday coming up in just a few weeks.

filed under Categories swamp thing 5 Comments


Everyone thank Reader Jeff for sending me the links to this auction site featuring Alfredo Alcala’s style guide art for the Swamp Thing cartoon show and Nestor Redondo’s preliminary pencils for the cover to Swamp Thing (original series) #16. How awesome are these?

I wonder what Swamp Thing and his animal pals are talking about in the above drawing? “And…when…you die, I…shall absorb your corpse…into my body…and feed from…its nutrients.” “YAY SWAMPY! You’re the best!”

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

filed under Categories End of Civilization 20 Comments

And then there was that time that Mike went to the “and then there was that time” well again only because he was having trouble coming up with an intro for this month’s End of Civilization. Grab your copy of Diamond Previews, February 2011 edition, and follow along, if, you know, you feel like it. Also, I apologize in advance for the 30+ years out of date Green Lantern joke.

p. 13 – MegaCon advertisement:


So if part of the package is that I can have one other person in the photo with me and either Stan or Shat…what if I decided that the other person I wanted in my photo with Shatner was…Stan Lee? Hey, for that kind of money, I should be allowed to swing that. Stan and Shatner, together. Shirtless. Oiled. …But perhaps I’ve said too much.

p. 55 – Al Capp’s Complete Shmoo Volume 2:


You know, it never occurred to me that the Shmoo were ambulatory penises-‘n’-scrotums ’til I read an article about that very thing in The Comics Journal. Now I can’t unsee it.

p. 134 – Two-Face 1:2 Scale Bust:


Not too interested in the bust, but I bet DC could market the hell out of that tie:

p. 153 – Jericho #6:


“Hey, Mike, how ’bout that variant photo cover?”

“Yup, it certainly is one.”

p. 164 – Recycle Michael:


When I was in grade school, some of the other kids would repeatedly call me “Michael Motorcycle” for no good reason that I could figure aside from the fact that it rhymed. …Thank goodness I got out of grade school before this book came out.

p. 183 – Marijuanaman HC:

“A new hero for our times – from the fertile imagination of music superstar Ziggy Marley.” […] “We guarantee: this is not the comic you think it is!”

Pretty sure I’m going to be fielding plenty of questions and “funny” comments from customers who think this is the comic y’all are claiming this isn’t.

p. 210-211 – Wizard #237 & ToyFare #166:


Well, that’s unfortunate.

p. 224 – Canadian Legion GN:


“Take off, Mordru, you hoser! Cosmic Boy is going to take you down, eh?”

(PLEASE NOTE: My knowledge of Canada is limited exclusively to SCTV. My apologies to my Canadian readers. Those of you who can read.)

(I’M SO VERY SORRY about that “reading” bit. Employee Aaron made me say it.)

p. 228 – Mega Man #1:


Just in time to be bought by the children of the kid customers who originally asked me for Mega Man comics all those years ago!

p. 231-239 – Aspen listings:


Sometimes it feels like these are the same ads that run in every issue of Previews. It’s certainly the same issue numbers every month.

p. 247 – Female Force Kathy Griffin:


So what are the odds that this comic will turn up being eviscerated onstage by Griffin herself?

p. 291 – My Complete Martian The Complete Series Volume 1 HC:


Pretty sure this would have been the Last Thing I’d Ever Would Have Expected to Be Reprinted, but I guess once hell froze over and Sugar and Spike got the reprint-nod, the floodgates are open. Surely the Complete Spunky the Monkey is to follow.

p. 331 – Comic Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope HC:


Episodes I-III had that wacky CGI Bill Jemas “comedy relief” character that annoyed everybody. Thank goodness he’s gone now.

p. 333 – The Green Lantern Kit:


Mike Grell Chin-Jutter sold separately.

p. 334 – The Steampunk Bible:


Turns out the actual translation is “coat of many gears and brass piping,” which seems like it’d be a bit unwieldy, to be honest.

p. 336 – The Meowmorphosis:


You know, if those people fiddlin’ about with Mark Twain’s books went the cat route, we might have been stuck with “Kitty Jim.” …In fact, I’m surprised we haven’t had an animated Huckleberry Finn that’s used that already. You know, so long as we’re destroying literature.

p. 337 – Confessions of the Hundred Hottest Porn Stars SC:


“I cry when I watch Old Yeller.”

“You know what I hate? Airline food! Yeah, that’s right, I said it.”

“Sometimes I don’t want to go to work and just want to stay out of bed all day.”

p. 338 – Star Wars The Clone Wars – A Jedi Adventure in 3-D:


Proving once and for all that nobody looks cool in 3-D glasses. (Another case in point.)

p. 368 – Sanchez and Friends Plushes:


Stuffed critters named “Dirty Sanchez,” “Golden Shower,” “Cleveland Steamer,” and “Donkey Punch,” which, coincidentally, are also rejected names for G.I. Joes. …If “Rusty Trombone” isn’t in Series 2, I’ll be very disappointed.

p. 383 – Angry Bird Plushes:


Not mentioned in the solicitation is that they’re totally going to be used for throwing at things, as they are in the game. They might as well just make throwable beanbags out of ’em.

p. 403 – Star Wars “In Your Pocket” Limited Edition Pocket Keychain:


Really, what they need to do is make one of these talking keychains that just features every iteration of “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” from each film. That’s like a dozen different character voices right there.

p. 409 – Green Lantern Keychains:


“Hey, do you have any Green Lantern keychains with other names on them? I need one that says ‘Chad.'”

p. 421 – Double Dice Sets:


This is the most boring babushka doll ever.

Marvel Previews p. 29 – The Mighty Thor #1:


There was a running gag in later issues of Groo where Sergio would claim that every issue of Groo should be the first issue, and sales would skyrocket. That just came to mind for some reason.

More like “Sir Links-A-Little.”

filed under Categories sir-links-a-lot 10 Comments

  • The Rack, the comic strip about a comic shop by Kevin Church and Benjamin Birdie, has come to a shocking and somewhat abrupt end. This was a fine run of a great comic that wasn’t just nerd jokes and never wallowed in fanboy whining. I’ll miss it.

    Of course, if this turns out to be some elaborate plot stunt by Kevin and Birdie, I’ll strangle the both of ’em.

    For another strip in the same “universe” as The Rack, Mr. Church and Paul Salvi present The Line.

  • Andrew brings us more Nobody’s Favorites…this time, a group of characters I never much liked when they popped up in Legion, and had their own short-lived series I never read. …A ringing endorsement!

  • From a fellow Bureau Chief comes this new project: The Content Farm! Learn how to do things in ways that may or may not be practical!

From the backroom of misfit toys.

filed under Categories misfit toys 6 Comments

So we have a few of these still sittin’ around the shop…pop-out mini cardboard stand-ups of assorted media properties:


…including both “live action” and animated versions of dinosaurs from Jurassic Park (though technically the live action versions were animated, but you get the idea).

Anyway, I had bit of a long Sunday, so I’m sorta Low-Content-Mode-ing it today with these close-up scans of some choice pop-up standees. Please enjoy, and I’ll be back tomorrow.

By the way, when is Tim Burton ever going to get around to that Planet of the Apes sequel? I keep waiting for a follow-up to that exciting cliffhanger ending!

Frankly, #106 has me wondering.

filed under Categories star trek 9 Comments

From a sci-fi collectibles catalog, circa 1987:


1. I wonder if there’s any overlap between the Starfleet Cook Book and this item?

2. Here’s a common Starfleet code: “The captain is in the ready room, preparing his mission report” = “Kirk’s makin’ time with another alien gal…better hold his calls.”

3. I suspect the Klingon Joke Book goes a little bit like this:

“Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: TO DIE HONORABLY IN GLORIOUS BATTLE!”

“Knock Knock.” “Who’s there?” “A MIGHTY KLINGON WARRIOR WHO HAS COME TO EVISCERATE YOU WITH HIS BAT’LETH”

…So you can see why it was banned.

Adam West Batman is the best Batman.

filed under Categories adam west 21 Comments

“There’s one thing in life you should learn, is to listen to your father and mother.
And I don’t think they’d approve of your association with Shame.”

“You’re right Batman. I should have known better.
But after all, I’m only seven years old.”

“You’re never too young to learn the difference between Good and Evil.”

“Let’s go, Robin…we’ve set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow!”

from the second season Batman episode “It’s How You Play the Game”

The thinnest of silver linings.

filed under Categories employee aaron, retailing 13 Comments

And so it came to pass that we did sell out of our new Fantastic Four issue, not to passers-by driven into our establishment by a fancy press release and the promise of earth-shattering change, but mostly to regular customers, most of whom were already readers of the book and just wanted the latest installment, uninterested they were in the publicity shenanigans that surrounded it.

And poor ol’ Employee Aaron, who did his darnedest to avoid spoilers, staying away from the internet, averting his eyes from the news, only to to take a phone call at the shop Wednesday morning whereupon he heard this:

“Hey, do you have that Fantastic Four comic where [name of FF member who allegedly kicked the bucket] dies?”

Oh, Aaron, you and your youthful dreams of a spoiler-free zone! Not in the hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners world of comics retail, my friend!

We did receive another phone call or two inquiring about the issue’s availability, but otherwise…no huge deluge of demand. Just another busy New Comics Day, selling plenty of funnybooks. Also, a photo was taken of me wearing deely boppers, and who knows when and where that’ll turn up, Andres.

In yesterday’s comments, reader Alex asked

“Is there ever an effort at the store to capture more of the potential audience during stuff like this, by say, pulling up a box of dollar bin FF issues, or ordering a few extra reprints of steady selling, intro friendly trades?”

No, if only because past experience has shown that, in general, non-comic-readers who just come in on that one day for the item they saw about on the news will not buy anything else. In this particular case, we didn’t see any new faces this time around anyway, so it would have been a moot point.

A caveat: past experience has also shown that on the very rare occasion a media-driven customer actually returns to the shop after that Hot Item: Day One sales date, sometimes that means they’re slightly more open to the idea of comics as Entertainment Option rather than Means of Putting My Children Through College, Someday. It doesn’t happen very often, but often enough that it’s worth the effort to put on the top hats, polish up the monocles, and be on our best behavior, in the hopes that any of these new faces will remember that nice shop with all the funnybooks and maybe, just maybe, return to us when the need arises.

So, ultimately, at the very least hyped media events and Free Comic Book Days and tie-in movies remind people out there in the real world that comic books and comic shops still exist, and sometimes that’s enough.

In which I don’t spoil the Fantastic Four “death.”

filed under Categories death of superman, investing, retailing 15 Comments

So the new Fantastic Four is the way-overhyped “death” issue, in which it looks bad for the character in question, sure, but not necessarily a cut ‘n’ dried demise by any means. I’m not going to get into spoilers, for those of you who’ve managed to miss the media blitz about the event which happily revealed the comic’s alleged starring corpse, but anyone reading the story can see it for the “all the other characters think this character is dead, but we’ll eventually catch up to that character and see what he/she’s been up to in the months during the apparent deceased-ness” situation that it is.

Not blaming the creative team of the book, I should note, which has been turning out a solid adventure serial. Jonathan Hickman and Steve Epting are presenting complex, interesting, intelligent and still fun superhero stories. This “death” was clearly just a plot twist in an ongoing saga that got blown out of proportion to a general audience of non-comic-readers who are becoming increasingly wary of these stunts. (Let me link again to this post of mine about this sort of promotion.) Unfortunately, I can’t really blame Marvel for this promotional stunt, as it’s hard to get widespread mainstream attention on comics that isn’t “somebody dies, no really!” or “soon to be a movie!” or “this comic has a swear in it, WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN” or, as pal Dorian noted to me, “found strewn about the killer’s apartment….” It’s a shame you usually can’t get this amount of attention simply by saying “this is a good comic people might enjoy,” but the saying isn’t “if it reads, it leads,” after all. You need a gimmick, and “SOMEBODY DIES!” is the one that gets the real world attention. Conversely, “SOMEBODY COMES BACK!” never works as well in grabbing the public, as every return of a dead character since that white-bagged Adventures of Superman #500 has shown.

It’s interesting to see that even the mainstream news media stories are now including the implied “what, again?” eyeroll regarding this kind of marketing stunt (such as in this spoiler-filled article), which may further undermine the influx of magpies clutching at the shiny investment potential of yet another temporary death. Especially since the last few have been reversed relatively quickly, turning hypothetical fortunes into just so much polybagged paper.

Ultimately, I expect we’ll sell out of this new FF…we didn’t go overboard on ordering it, and it comes sealed in a familiar-looking if fairly pixelated black bag which will certainly grab attention. But if we do get some new folks in looking for the comic, it’ll once again be a one-shot media-fueled bump, bringing a few bucks into the comics marketplace, but won’t be built upon, won’t be sustained, and will only return when the next “death” comes along, assuming there are still some people left who’ll continue to buy into the hype. The returns diminish each and every time.

…

Well, I’m certainly Mr. Downer-Pants. Here, let a little stuffed bull treat the topic at hand in the best way anyone can…with big laffs!