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So on a New Comics Day a couple of months back, as we were breaking down the order in the morning before we opened, Employee Aaron, Kid Chris, and I were discussing the works of Dr. Seuss, as we often do. Specifically, we were discussing The Lorax, and I found myself in the position of trying to recall the name of the Lorax’s industrial nemesis.

Now, as a former children’s librarian, and as a former child who had been exposed to both the book and film versions of The Lorax multiple times, I should have remembered the antagonist’s name. But, at that moment, all I could come up with was this: “Well, I know this isn’t the character’s name, but it sounds something like…’the Sneezler.'”

Well, this was apparently the funniest thing Employee Aaron and Kid Chris have ever heard, because they laughed their fool heads off that morning, and even now, months later, they’re still giving me a ration of shit about it.

The character’s actual name, by the way, is the Once-ler, but I’m sure I didn’t need to tell any of you folks that. I figure, though, that the Sneezler could have been a fitting nemesis for the Lorax, chopping down forests and pulping trees to make enormous supplies of tissue paper for his gargantuan nose, as seen here in this hastily-drawn rendition:

Yes, the Sneezler also goes barefoot. He’s allergic to shoes. I guess.

So there you go…I didn’t have anything to say about comics today, so instead you get another example of why I’m a big dope and none of you should ever listen to me about anything.

1. So my gag in yesterday’s post about Piers Anthony’s Incarnations of Immortality series resulted in some unexpected knowledge, courtesy reader Brian: that’s there’s an eighth book in the series, released relatively recently. Entitled Under a Velvet Cloak, it adds Arthurian legend into the mix (which I don’t recall being part of this series prior to this, though feel free to correct me) and despite the fact the series hit diminishing returns fairly quickly, I still feel that urge to read this one, too. Hell, I’ve read Star Wars novels…I’ll pretty much read anything.

I’ll just drop one of these handy things in here, in case any of you want to read it as well:

I had to go look it up on Amazon right away after Brian dropped that bombshell on me. I totally thought he was joking.

I may have been a bit hard on the series…I did enjoy it overall, and like Tim said, For Love of Evil, the sixth book in the series, was actually a bump upward in the series’ quality. But the clever world-building from the first book seemed more forced as the series progressed, the situations more ridiculous, the suspension of disbelief less willing…keep in mind it’s been a while since I’ve read these, so I’m working off general remembered impressions rather than any specifics. Could very well be if I reread them today (and I could if I wanted…they’re still right there on my bookshelves) I’d like them for the quickie surface-level fantasy pulp adventure that they are and be less of a Mr. Critical-Pants about them.

But seriously, the magical giant flying fish everyone was riding around in. There’s just no getting over that.

2. THIS:

…is completely awesome. It’s also completely sold out, alas, but second printings are coming. It’s a wonderful piece of work by Roger Langridge, structured just like an episode of the Muppet Show, with skits, behind the scenes mayhem, Statler and Woldorf, and even a musical number which, oddly enough, actually works on the printed page. Boom Studios really knocked this one out of the park, and if you can’t find a copy right now, be sure to look later in April when the reprints hit the market.

3. I was totally lying yesterday about having eaten spicy chicken wings. I don’t like spicy foods. Progressive Ruin regrets this shameful episode of deceit.

In yesterday’s post, it was indicated that The Spirit did more poorly in the box office than Punisher War Zone, when in fact the opposite is true. Progressive Ruin regrets the error.

Also in yesterday’s post, it was claimed that Green Lantern #40 was only reprinted in three other publications, but apparently it has been reprinted in more places than originally noted. Progressive Ruin regrets the error.

In addition, certain assumptions were made regarding potential scheduling problems with Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely’s forthcoming Batman and Robin series. These were already addressed in interviews with the creative team. Progressive Ruin regrets the error.

In a previous post, Secret Invasion was described as “readable.” Progressive Ruin regrets the error.

In this site’s review of the Watchmen film, Dr. Manhattan’s penis was only mentioned in passing, when in fact it should have been discussed and commented upon and joked about ad nauseum. Progressive Ruin regrets the error.

During last year’s Free Comic Book Day giveaway, the store associated with this site gave away as many comics to as many people as was possible, until supplies ran out. Progressive Ruin was supposed to regret this error, apparently.

Over the last several years, All Star Batman and Robin has been described by many a fan and critic as not being a good comic. Progressive Ruin regrets your error.

Due to a records issue, the age of this site’s owner was noted last week as being 40, when in fact he is 24. Progressive Ruin wishes this was an error to regret.

A while back, this site spent about a week discussing the Batman and Robin movie. Progressive Ruin regrets the error.

About three years ago Employee Aaron was hired. Progressive Ruin regrets the error.

The site’s owner kept reading Piers Anthony’s Incarnations of Immortality series past, oh, the third or fourth book. Progressive Ruin doesn’t really regret the error, as such, but boy that was rough goin’.

While the store ordered a lot of the book itself, Watchmen tie-in products and parodies and the like were ordered at very low numbers. Progressive Ruin regrets the er…well, no, actually, it doesn’t.

Many years ago, the site’s owner saw both Mannequin and Mannequin 2: On The Move in the theatre. Progressive Ruin really doesn’t know what it was thinking.

About five and a half years ago, the Progressive Ruin weblog was started. Progressive Ruin only occasionally regrets the error.

In the ’90s, a crossover series between Valiant Comics and Image Comics seemed like a great idea and that the store should order lots of copies. Progressive Ruin regrets the error.

For lunch, this site’s owner had an extra helping of the spicy chicken wings. Hoo boy, is he regretting the error.

In a previous post, a number of bird images were mislabeled. Progressive Ruin egrets the error.

• Saw the Punisher War Zone movie over the weekend, finally…yeah, I can see why Punisher fans seemed to like it. Hell, sometimes you’re just in the mood for excessive violence and explosions, and the film delivered. Not enough Wayne Knight as Microchip. Too much scenery chewing by the villains, though that’s just par for the course, really. Interesting that they “retconned” the film-Punisher’s origin to be more like the one in the comics, as opposed to the “everyone Frank Castle was related to, or even just sorta knew, is killed by criminals at a family reunion” origin the previous film gave us. I guess this was a retooling of the character for the Punisher film franchise, though given the only other big-budget movie to do worse than this one last year was The Spirit, I’m guessing the point is moot.
• Via the DC solicits, I see the entry for the new Batman and Robin title by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely. I can’t wait to read it…I’m sure it’ll be great, but the real question is this: are they going to have fill-in artists to maintain the monthly schedule, or are they just going to publish the issues as they get done? Because, seriously, no way this is going to stay monthly as is.

  Also, a big thumbs up for the reprinting of George Perez’s ’80s run on Justice League of America, one of my favorite comics as a young Mikester.

• So over the weekend someone asked me for a Green Lantern comic that would go into the backstory of GL’s bosses, the Guardians of the Universe. My first thought was “oh, yeah, Green Lantern #40, that’ll do the trick,” because I could have sworn that there was a one-off reprinting of that comic, like a Millennium edition or a Silver Age Classics, or a reprint in the Greatest Green Lantern Stories Ever Told, or something like that. But no, it just appears to be currently available in the Archives, and in the black and white Showcase volume. Oh, and in on the digests from the early ’80s, but alas, we didn’t have that one.

  I did find the customer a few comics to satisfy his Guardians need, though he didn’t want to go for the Archives or the Showcase. But still, I really thought there was some kind of standalone reprint of GL #40. I could even see it in my head. Ah, well, at my advanced age the mind is the second thing to go.

• Speaking of reprints, Alan Doane has been discussing the ’80s Baxter paper reprints from Marvel and DC over a couple of posts. I quite liked those reprint series, which helped me catch up on some otherwise difficult to find or afford classic stories…like Deadman, or the Neal Adams Green Lantern/Green Arrow run. I do remember at the time (and I mention this in the comments over at Alan’s) there were several complaints about the market being flooded (particularly by Marvel) with unnecessary reprints, presumably to take the retailer dollar away from those upstart indie companies that were popping up all over the place at the time. I can see where that may have been a problem, but still, I don’t know that I would have read, for example, Jim Starlin’s Captain Marvel or Warlock comics otherwise. And it certainly was easier, and less of a financial impact, to get the reprints at $2 a shot per month, instead of, say, buying a $10 or $15 book.
• And just talking about the paper stock sorta stirs up a nostalgic feel for me, as it seemed like we were always discussing paper stock on comics back in the ’80s. Newsprint, Mando paper, Baxter paper, Miraweb, whatever Marvel Fanfare was printed on, and so on.

  Nostalgia for paper stock discussions. I’ve been doing this too long.

EDIT: Pal Nat corrects me on the respective takes for Punisher War Zone and Spirit, but my original point stands…don’t expect another Punisher movie anytime soon.

And there are other corrections and elaborations and such in my comments, too…my research team will be beaten accordingly.

As you folks who follow my Twitter thingie (or at least read it in the sidebar of my site) may already know, I’ve been having some back problems again, which makes it a bit difficult to sit at the computer and generate some content for the site, here. So, sorry I let it slide for most of the day, but I’m riding that Advil wave at the moment, so let’s see if I can’t give you folks a little somethin’-somethin’ for today.

First, I direct you to the very fine site of a certain Mr. Todd Klein, a comics letterer of some note, who recently concluded his 5 part look at the logos of Green Arrow. In particular, I direct you to the fifth installment, in which he examines the development of a logo by one of my longtime customers, Glenn Parsons. Glenn’s done quite a few swell logos for DC over the years, and this behind-the-scenes business regarding one of his most high-profile DC jobs is quite the treat.

Secondly, I was digging through some old image files I had backed up on a disk somewhere and turned this up:

This was from the cover of an issue of Starlog we had received at the shop several years ago, and that was pretty much how I found out that there was going to be a Battlestar Galactica revival on the Sci Fi Channel. My reaction to that at the time was, basically, “‘Sexy Cylon?’ What the hell?”

I had no intention of watching the show, but one night I was just flipping through the channels and happened on to the first installment of the BSG mini-series, and I figured “what the hey?” and decided to watch for a few minutes.

Well, it hooked me in good, and it easily became one of my two favorite shows of the last few years (the other being The Shield). I often said, during the show’s run, “I can’t believe a show called Battlestar Galactica is actually this good!” I’m glad I gave it a chance when my initial reaction was so dismissive.

It’s over now (save for some prequel material on its way), and while other folks will certainly have detailed postmortems for the series, I’ll just say “thanks for the ride!” and leave it at that.

Thirdly, I have no idea why someone would do this, but I’m just glad they did. (via pal Andy)

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Thanks for your patience, internet pals. Not sure what kind of post I’ll have tomorrow, but we’ll see what the medication brings us.

#1 – Robot daggits:

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from Battlestar Galactica #9 (Nov. 1979)
by Bill Mantlo, Sal Buscema & Klaus Janson

Just scanning some books for use on a flyer we’ll be handing out at a paperback book show this coming week, and thought I’d share them with you here. I was looking for a couple of images that would stand out as a black and white image and reduced in size, and I thought the high contrast — the dark background and the brightly-colored spaceship — on this first cover would work nicely:

I’m not seeing a whole lot of legroom in that ship, but it’s still a pretty neat image.

And this second cover I picked because I thought those eyes would really grab your attention:

I haven’t read this book, so I gotta ask…are those propellers those spacemen have attached to their suits? How do those work in space, exactly?

This next book isn’t one I’m using for the flyer, but one I’m simply keeping for myself, because, well…

…here, let me transcribe the blurb from the back cover:

“Professor J. Adrian Fillmore was a collector of strange antiques. Little did he know that when he bought the odd umbrella he would become a collector of strange adventures.

“Pulled by the magical bumbershoot through realms of Victorian fantasy, Fillmore stumbled on the Frankenstein monster…a world of genies…Gilbert and Sullivan extravaganzas…Dracula…even Sherlock Holmes!

“Fillmore searched for the umbrella’s inventor, Professor Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes’ archenemy…only to confront the most treacherous villain in the maddest, most frightening cosmos of them all.”

SOLD. Sure, it had me with “magical bumbershoot,” but I’m also a sucker for parodies/pastiches/alternate takes on Sherlock Holmes, so this book was right up my alley.

(For more paperback book covers of varying vintage, may I recommend pal Dorian’s Paperback Book Club?)

The Colors of Space (Monarch Books Inc., 1963, 1st printing)

The Falling Torch (Pyramid Books, 1959, 1st printing)

The Incredible Umbrella (Dell, 1980, 1st paperback edition)

I seem to have caught yet another lousy cold, so I’m going to chintz out a bit on today’s entry, if it’s all the same to you folks.

In response to yesterday’s Batman Beyond post, pal Dan asks if I’ve seen the Return of the Joker movie yet. Yes, I did, back when it was originally released. Well, let me amend that…I passed on the first release, and picked up the “unrated/uncensored/unwhatevered” version, that was just a tad more violent and a tad less dumbed down that the original “kiddie” version. Though in this case “kiddie” is bit of a misnomer, since no matter how you slice it, the general plot of the film is about as bleak and unpleasant as one of these cartoons generally can get. I don’t want to get into too many spoilers, but there are some pretty distressing fates awaiting some of (the original) Batman’s supporting characters/villains.

Here, have an Amazon link…you can get this movie for rockbottom prices now, apparently:

Also, Streaker asks if I’ve seen the Watchmen Motion Comic yet, and the answer to that is no, though I did receive a copy for my birthday and will get around to it in the next few days, I think. Finding out it was just one guy doing all the voices and narration was bit of a surprise, but I imagine watching it will remind me of that very old show on the Nickelodeon channel where comic book stories were presented panel by panel and read aloud.

On a completely unrelated note, as I was trying to track down Grim Reaper images for my birthday post, I came across one of the most awesome horror comic covers ever. And while any story would have a hard time living up to that image, the actual story attached to that cover gives it its best shot. So enjoy, won’t you?

So I’ve been watching the season sets of Batman Beyond via the Netflix over the last few weeks, and it’s generally an enjoyable, if surprisingly bleak, series. But in the last episode of Season 2, Ace in the Hole, Batman investigates an illegal dogfighting ring where the man in charge has been experimenting with growth hormones and such to create larger and more violent dogs. And as these things usually go, Batman gets trapped in an arena with what the villain promises is the largest, meanest dog of them all. At first you only see red eyes glowing in the darkness beyond an opened door.

And then you see holy crap what the hell is that thing

Here it is with Batman for more of a sense of scale:

That thing…good gravy, it’s hideous. And the still pictures don’t really do it justice. The fight scene that ensues is fast, brutal, and completely grotesque and terrifying. This is the sort of thing someone sees as a young kid, and then years later is reminded of it somehow, dredging up some shadowy memory of images from that cartoon that makes him/her think “geez, what the hell was I watching?”

There’s some Jack Kirby influence in the monster-dog’s design, I think…at least, that’s what I kept thinking as I was watching the fight. Particularly around the dog’s face…there’s just something Kirbyesque about it. And it reminded me a bit of Miracledog (or Marveldog, for you sticklers), as seen here in issue #6 of the Eclipse Comics series:

…in that it’s another malformed, insanely aggressive animal that’s absolutely horrifying.

Anyway, I saw that episode last night and thought I’d share with you folks.

That was the broadcast image simultaneously filling the TV screens of many a household just a few years ago. Enjoy!

…or was it?

from the Phantom Stranger back-up in Saga of the Swamp Thing #13 (May 1983)
by Nicola Cuti & Fred Carrillo