Mikester

…because the part of my brain that generates weblog content is otherwise committed to “what the heck am I going to buy for my friends and family for Christmas this year,” which I’m sure none of you can relate to.

I’m also trying to slap together one of those year-end posts, best-ofs and worst-ofs and what have you, but that’s probably going to have to wait until after Christmas, when the pressure’s off.

Yeah, I know, I’m a bad weblogger. In the meantime, have some links from hither and yon to occupy your time:

Archie reacts to change.

Um…how did the Thing pick up that pile of men?

Dan Dare via Sin City.

Sweet Christmas.

Bully is telling a serialized Christmas story, which reminds me of the days of my long-departed youth, when I would look forward to the special Christmas serials that would run in our local paper. Remember when newspapers actively tried to get young people to read them? Those were the days.

Mag at the Comic Treadmill ponders the mystery Spidey ornament.

John Jakala finds a Lost Girls review accompanied by an interesting photo.

Ben 10 meets Captain Marvel, courtesy Chris Karath.

Blockade Boy redesigns the costume of the Legion of Substitute Heroes’ Night Girl, and it’s fantastic.

KIRBYCISE!

Collected Editions returns with a review of the new Nightwing trade paperback.

Fortress Keeper praises some good Marvel books while disparaging DC. But…but doesn’t he know all of us webloggers are supposed to hate Marvel?

Johnny Bacardi laments the waste of a character.

Brainfreeze wraps up her look at her funnybook weblogroll, which was nicely done. A brief description of each site, accompanied by a link to a specific post (tagged as “recent good stuff”). I enjoy it when people do things like this, and not just because sometimes folks say something nice about me. Well, okay, that’s part of it, but it’s also a good way to find new sites you might be missing.

The only superhero Christmas image you need. I bet Dave is getting hotlinked up the wazoo because of this.

---

SPECIAL “YOU ALREADY SAW IT ON ‘JOURNALISTA‘” SECTION:

Yahoo “upgraded” their pinging service, so now the Comics Weblog Update-A-Tron 3000 has been broken. Dirk Deppey has the details.

Dirk also pointed this out this new comic links aggregator, which comes to us courtesy Comic Book Resources. I spotted it in my referral logs a couple days ago, and the “comicne.ws” address looked so much like some of the referral spam sites that had been cropping up there lately, I almost blocked it. Good thing I checked first!

---

So long to cartoon kingpin Joe Barbera. The man (along with William Hanna) gave us Tom & Jerry, for which we should all be thankful.

And now, for no good reason I can adequately explain, here is every bit of the Hulk’s dialogue from Marvel Team-Up #105 (May 1981), featuring the Hulk and Power Man & Iron Fist in “A Small Circle of Hate!” by Mike W. Barr, Carmine Infantino, and Mike Esposito. Enjoy, won’t you?

“Men in planes always chase Hulk — never leave Hulk alone — Hulk will show them! Hulk will make them leave him alone — by smashing plane, so they can’t find Hulk!”

“Huh? Hulk thought plane carried soldiers — but plane carries Fist-man!”

“Hulk will smash Fist-man!”

“Huh? Fist-man tries to walk on Hulk?”

“You hit Hulk — now Hulk will hit you!”

“Shiny hands…make Hulk feel funny…”

“Man thinks he hurts Hulk? Hulk is here now — and Hulk will hurt him!”

“Hulk will smash you all!”

“Hulk is strongest one there is!”

“They want Hulk to chase them! Hulk is smarter than that! Hulk will take this rock — and make him come to Hulk!”

“First — man tries to jump on Hulk — Hulk will hit rock out from under you!”

“Leave Hulk alone! Hulk only wants to hurt man…but if you Hulk hurt you — he will!”

“Leave Hulk alone…or he will bury you!”

“You hit Hulk! Now Hulk will smash you!”

“Rock?! Hulk hit rock!”

“Water?! You tricked Hulk — you make Hulk look dumb! Now Hulk will kill you!”

“EE-YARRGH!”

“Huh…?”

“Now Hulk remembers! Man tried to hurt Hulk! Hulk will get him for that!”

“Soldiers! Soldiers come for Hulk!”

“Man hits little girl?! Hulk will smash man!”

“Yes — now Hulk will –“

“Soldiers! Hulk forgot about them!”

Exeunt Hulk:

And there, just under the Hulk’s eyes…is that off-register coloring, or is it…the tears of the Hulk?

“Unleash…the GIANT SCOTT BAIO!”

So pal Ian e-mailed me to ask if I had anything to say about the impending change in Archie Comics’ house style…to wit:

Pal Dorian has already covered message board reaction to that article, so I guess I’m stuck having to give my own opinion, gosh darn it.

And that opinion is…eh, no big whoop. Quite frankly, just from cursory glances at Archie’s current crop of books, it looks like the grasp on the traditional house style was beginning to slip anyway, getting a little rough around the edges, so it was probably time for some kind of change. And I don’t find this new style too terrible, though I like the sample pencils better than the cover I posted above. I find myself intrigued by what the “realistic” versions of the other characters are going to look like, such as Mr. Weatherbee or school cook Miss Beazley. And any redesign of Reggie has got to be better than this, straight from the Archie web site:

It would be funny if Jughead, after the redesign, looked exactly the same as he always had, in the classic style. Well, I’d find it funny.

The real question is if Archie’s fans will accept this new portrayal of the characters. There’s a lot of resistance evident in that message board thread, but, as Dorian noted, it’s mostly from folks who don’t read Archie anyway, so those opinions can be discounted. The important opinions are from the folks who actually read the books…and I imagine they’ll make their voices heard once the redesign starts its slow rollout. But whether those voices will be raised in protest or approval, I’m not certain. Honestly, I think it can go either way. Yeah, I’m waffling, sorry.

If pressed, I’d say there’s enough of a turnover in readership that the kids who don’t like the new style will drop the books (which they’d probably do soon enough, anyway, as they outgrew them), and be replaced by new kids who only know Archie in this style. And this new less-cartoony style might possibly keep some of the readers around a little longer, as it may appear less like a “kid’s book” and more like a contemporary teen romance/comedy on par with some of the manga books they might be reading as well.

Of course, as that Newsarama article mentions, it’s “experimental,” and Archie may pull back from the new designs right away if they feel it’s not going over well. Plus, there’s the merchandising factor, where licensees may not want to shell out for Archie characters that don’t look like how they’ve always looked…assuming Archie just doesn’t stick with the familiar classic designs for merchandising purposes, regardless of whatever is going on in print.

I don’t know…that’s all just off the cuff, there, so I may be totally off base. Let me know what you think, internet pals.

What I am certain of, however, is that I’ll be hearing a lot of this from parents at the shop: “Oh, look, they’re still publishing Archie books…hey, this doesn’t look like the Archie I remember!”

By the way, in regards to the Betty vs. Veronica debate from my site last week: it’s all about Betty, baby.

…

I sure post about Archie Comics a lot.

EDIT: I like Beaucoupkevin’s theory.

---

In other news:

I’m getting a lot of Spanish and Italian comment spam on my site, lately, mostly on year-old posts…so if you come across ’em, don’t worry, I’ll delete ’em right quick. And for God’s sake, don’t click on their links! Italians and Spaniards, working together to invade my site. Only one thing to do…UNLEASH THE GIANT SUSAN ANTON!

Detail from the upper left corner:

And here’s a closer look at this, just because it’s FREAKING ME OUT, MAN:

“I need just one of my customers to win the lottery…just one…!”

Follow-up from yesterday, re: Roy Harper’s belt buckle: some commenters suggested that it may be a “C” and not a “G” (which leaves us with the same problem, just a different letter), or that it’s a botched “arrow” design and not a letter at all. Further investigation (a phrase that makes this sound a lot more important than it is) shows that the “G” design appeared on Michael Turner’s cover for Justice League of America #4, while on the Ed Benes cover for #1, he clearly has an “R” (for “Red Arrow”).

In addition, if one were to look at Turner’s drawings of Green Arrow from the covers for Identity Crisis, GA is wearing, more or less, the same belt design:

You know, if I expended this kind of effort on something important, I could be dangerous.

---

A few months back I mentioned in one of my “End of Civilization” posts an absolutely fantastic comic book gimmick: Jim’s Jerky, the latest installment in the 3 Geeks saga, being packaged with a piece of actual, edible beef jerky!

Alas, as it turned out this comic was solicited to retailers in quantity, not individually, so even though I love the 3 Geeks comics, they’ve never really sold enough for us to justify meeting the minimum order on Jim’s Jerky to get our copies through Diamond.

However, it is readily available for sale though the cartoonist Rich Koslowski’s website, which is how I obtained my copy. I paid for it through PayPal on the 7th, and received it on the 13th, securely wrapped in a manilla envelope with cardboard protection.

The comic itself is 4 3/4 inches square, 20 pages long and in full color. The piece of beef jerky itself is wrapped in cellophane and attached by a small bit of rubber cement to the front cover. My piece was about two inches long, and it looked like this:

And yes, as soon as I scanned it, I ate the jerky. It was a challenge to my teeth, but it was pretty tasty.

The comic itself is slight but fun, as we follow Jim’s efforts to obtain the necessary ingredients for his special jerky recipe. His fellow geeks Keith and Allen are roped into the jerky pursuit to varying degrees, and it’s all very silly and amusing. For only two bucks American (which includes shipping), you can get a good inexpensive sample of Koslowski’s 3 Geeks work, which is all available in one form or another through his store. (If you want to try more, I recommend this particular volume.)

Darn. Now I wish I had another piece of that jerky. That was good eatin’.

---

People are still putting their two cents’ worth into the Debate of the Century: Betty or Veronica? Join in…if you dare.

---

A reminder: I have an account on Comicspace, so please feel free to add me as Your Special Internet Friend there if you’d like. It’s interesting to watch the constant rush of “friend network” building as everybody zips around “friending” each other, prior to the actual functionality of the site (re: comic strip hosting and subscriptions) being activated.

If the art hosting functions the way I’m hopefully not incorrectly assuming, once I’m able I’m planning to upload some of my old mini-comics work for all to endure enjoy. Maybe that’ll finally give me the gumption to start my doodling again…we’ll see.

I don’t know if anyone has covered this yet, so I apologize if I’m stepping on anyone’s toes, here. But Employees Josh and Aaron asked me about this, and I didn’t have an answer.

So, on the cover of this week’s Justice League of America (issue #4), drawn by Michael Turner:

…we see that former Green Arrow sidekick Roy Harper has what appears to be a “G” on his belt:

Roy has been called “Speedy,” “Arsenal,” and, in this issue, “Red Arrow” — all lacking in Gs. Maybe it’s an old belt he borrowed from his former mentor and dyed red for his own costume? Or perhaps we’re just reading too much into an oddly-shaped belt buckle that’s not supposed to represent a letter at all. But, you know, darn if it doesn’t look like a “G” to me.

Our order of the new issue of Ultimate X-Men was filled with the new issue of Magician Apprentice. I just about had a heart attack when I popped open the shipping box and out poured dozens upon dozens of copies of Magician Apprentice, a comic that normally sells in numbers that I can count on the fingers of one hand. At least it was distributor error, and not, um, order input error on our part, which is what I was fearing.

Not new comics, but fantastic: Cole has posted the greatest Phantom Stranger picture you will ever see. EVER.

The debate rages on: Betty or Veronica? Betty has the lead, ever so slightly, as of this writing, so get in there and make your voice heard!

Er…not that there’s going to be a prize or big payoff or anything. It’s all just for laffs, kids, because sometimes in this cruel world, that’s all you get.

Anyway, I do want to touch upon a couple things in recent funnybook news, which I don’t do enough of (primarily because Tom and Dirk have got it pretty much sewn up), but that I feel slightly obligated to mention.

First, I know this is old news, but both my friend Cully and my own father will want to know this, and they’re not going to see this anywhere else: “HBO to do ‘Preacher’ series.” I wonder what the look was on the HBO executives’ faces when they heard “…And get this…God’s the bad guy!”

And then there’s the brouhaha regarding some full-frontal Spidey in Spider-Man: Reign #1, in which an “art error” resulted in Peter Parker’s naughty bits making it into the final printed product. Thus, Marvel is accepting returns from retailers on this first issue…which is a tad annoying, but only because we agonized over our orders for this comic, only to have it end up being returnable anyway. And it’s just as well, because it ain’t sellin’ like we thought it might…plus, considering what happened the last time a comic with some nakedtivity got into the wrong hands, nekkid Spidey is the last thing we need. Though, with no Spider-movie in the theatres, it’s not like kids are clamoring for Spider-Man right now anyway.

By the way, this press release from Marvel announces a “sell-out” on the first issue (really? I got plenty…let me know if you want one before I strip the covers and mail ’em back to the distributor) and a second printing:

“Marvel is rushing back to press with a new interior art variant cover [sic] by Andrews guaranteed to only increase the conversation swirling around this book.

I put a [sic] in there because I think “new interior art variant cover” is two different things being conflated. It’s “new interior art” (i.e. Peter will have some undies on, or a nice, big shadow across his Little Spidey) and a variant cover, because you can’t have a reprint without a variant cover. The press release doesn’t mention the…trouble regarding the first issue, which is the only real reason there’s any “swirling conversation” about it.

Another brouhaha is over Alex Ross’ statement about the DC character Obsidian in a Wizard interview:

“Obsidian being put into the JSA is a lot like—and I’m speaking for Geoff here, which he may not agree with – but it’s him grabbing a character that’s just going to get molested further in other writer’s hands. So he’s grabbing him and putting him in the group so he at least can be shepherding this character that belongs in this association. Maybe he’ll make sure that no other writers get any ‘fun, creative’ ideas with him.

Given that the only other writer to do anything with Obsidian recently was Marc Andreyko, in Manhunter, where the character was in a gay relationship…well, you can see how that sounds. Oy. Pal Dorian and Ray have additional commentary on the matter. (EDIT: Via pal Dorian, Ross tries to clarify his statement.)

Dor also discusses Chuck Dixon writing a gay lead character in the just-announced Grifter/Midnighter series, which is a tad odd given (as Loren points out) Dixon’s feelings on homosexuality in comics. Johanna has some thoughts on the topic (as well as some debate in her comments section). I’m going to guess that, all things considered, Midnighter’s homosexuality is going to be alluded to only briefly, if at all, in this series, which will probably be six issues of guns and fistfights and no time for love (though Dorian’s prediction for the series, a favoring of Grifter’s crime-fighting methods versus Midnighter’s, is a possibility as well). We’ll see.

BEAUTY IN THE WORLD: Public Enemy putting on a parking lot concert at a comic shop signing, promoting the first issue of their new comic book. Fantastic.

MORE BEAUTY IN THE WORLD: Announced by DC: a new Bat Lash series by John Severin and Bat Lash’s co-creator Sergio Aragones. This better sell well, or I’m going to drive around the country kicking the butts of comic fans who didn’t buy it.

So inspired by the comments section from yesterday’s post, I’m just going to throw it down, right here. It’s the age-old debate, one that comic fans have been arguing over for decades, and perhaps it’s a bit cliché (“a bit?”), but let’s settle it, here and now.

The debate topic in question:

Betty or Veronica?

Yes, I know there are other gals in Riverdale. Yes, I know even hosting this debate probably makes me at worst a sexist jerk, at best just lazy. But don’t blame the messenger, friends…this particular discussion was around long before I was born.

So I’m opening up the comments section for a healthy, reasoned symposium on this vital subject. Let’s get it all out in the open, baby…tell me what you think. Keep it friendly, keep it clean, keep it…um, well, as non-sad as you can manage, I suppose. (Too late, I know.)

Further research:

Wikipedia entries for Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge, in case you need to refresh your memories.

Previous debates/polls on the topic: Electric Ferret, Fanbolt, August Battiston (about 3/4 down the page), Everything2.com, Team Sugar.

So, in Everything’s Archie #29 (Oct. 1973), we find Archie in a situation that’s quite unusual for him: a position of responsibility and power:

Yes, it’s high school student Archie, managing a vast corporate empire devoted to licensing merchandise based on himself and his friends, which…well, frankly, this kind of mixing of levels of reality just makes my thinker hurt, particularly when Archie gets his comics publisher John Goldwater on the horn. For about a page, Mr. Goldwater relates to Archie plans and details about their publishing concern, such as the number of titles they have (“We have 33 different comic books, Archie!”) and their readership (“We have about fifty million readers!”).

Here, Mr. Goldwater tells Archie about their penetration into foreign markets:

Archie gives Mr. Goldwater the brush-off, however, as soon as the TV people call up:

After that call (which works in mentions of the Filmation cartoons, the Hanna-Barbera Josie & the Pussycats show, and the supposedly forthcoming That Wilkin Boy, Lil’ Jinx, and Madhouse Glads), Archie moves into bragging to Betty and Veronica about their other product lines. Of course, he brings up the Archies recording group, mentioning the hit you know about (“Sugar Sugar”) and the one you probably don’t (“Jingle Jangle”).

He then shows off a not terribly impressive display of knick-knacks and gewgaws:

…as well as a slide projector, wristwatches, and such.

A “nighttime T.V. show with music” is in the offing as well:

…and you know Archie means business, what with that “T.V. SCRIPT” he’s holding.

The next item on the Archie menu, as it were, is introduced with what will probably be the most horrifying image of Jughead you’re going to see all day today:

What’s making Jughead’s mouth water, you may be wondering, assuming the nausea caused by that image has passed? Well, it’s this:

Just out of curiosity…are there any Archie’s Restaurants still around? Googling turns up plenty of “Archie’s Restaurants,” but whether they’re just coincidentally named as such, or their comic book origins are long forgotten, I’m not sure.

Anyhoo, back to the story, as Archie introduces his readers to the idea of obsessive collecting (assuming, of course, that comics didn’t already put this idea into their heads):

Well, as it turns out, this was all a dream, which you should have probably figured out from the moment you first saw Archie acting somewhat competently:

The story lingers for a few more pages, as Archie continues to wax poetically about the joy of merchandising, while pleading poverty to Veronica in regards to their date. The story closes with Veronica getting in a good one:

“Why don’t you just go back to sleep and take me out in your dreams?”

Ouch! Well, that cheap bastard Archie probably had it coming. Anyway, just so the readers don’t get the wrong idea about all that great merchandising and restaurants and TV shows being just the fevered imaginings of one Mr. Andrews, the story features this final panel:

Yes, the story wraps up asking the readers to write in if they’d like to see more commercials for Archie merchandise disguised as stories in future issues. Well played, Archie Comics…well played, indeed.