Mikester

A bad movie and some Stan Lee.

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I made a reference in yesterday’s post to the new Fantastic Four movie hopefully being better than Eragon, which would imply that, yes, I did indeed inflict Eragon upon myself. I wrote a brief review of it for some pals, which was as follows:

“Boy, Eragon really wasn’t very good. I don’t think it could have been more predictable if I had a copy of the script with me and I was reading along. Totally generic by-the-numbers fantasy twaddle, and ends with a total lead-in to a sequel that will probably never come, which would be sad if anyone cared.”

And for some reason, the fact that the movie’s title is the word “Dragon” with an “E” instead of a “D” really irritates me, but that may just be free-floating hostility toward this film.

So, yeah, avoid at all costs. Which, it appears, most of you have been doing anyway.

Special “Stan Lee’s Birthday” news:

  • More thoughts on the new Fantastic Four movie, this time from the Daytona Beach News-Journal:

    “So who’s playing Galactus? No names on at IMdB. Maybe he’ll be CGed, although how cool would it be for Stan Lee to finally have a big part in a Marvel movie?”

  • Comic book tie-in to Who Wants to Be A Superhero? to be released several months too late.
  • Here’s an audio clip from NPR where Stan Lee discusses realism and superheroes.
  • The Motley Fool discusses Marvel’s potential financial rise or fall, depending on the fortunes of their 2007 movie releases (most of which will feature Stan, natch).
  • And, hey, did anything ever come of this? “Stan Lee and Ringo Starr Team to develop new superhero franchise – Ringo Starr to become evil-battling – yet reluctant – superhero.”

    “‘Ringo is beloved worldwide for his commitment to people and his singular wit. Our Ringo Superhero character will combine these qualities, along with Ringo’s secret powers which people generally didn’t know about because he has kept them secret, until now,’ said Stan Lee, who also serves as POW’s Chief Creative Officer.

    “‘What a blast this’ll be! Ringo Starr is one of the most colorful, creative guys I know. Between the two of us, we’ve cooked up enough wild ideas for music, humor, action and superhero surprises in our new animated project, featuring the rollicking, ringed and bearded Ringo, to keep the fans happy and excited for years to come,’ Stan Lee added.”

    Because, honestly, this would be 100% fantastic.

It’s gotta be better than Eragon.

filed under Categories galactus

The teaser trailer is up for Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and…well, actually, it’s kinda cool. Mostly it’s just the Human Torch chasing the Silver Surfer over, under, and through the big city, and that seems to work out well enough. I also appreciated the nice Lee n’ Kirby-esque touch of the Thing dabbing at his eyes with a hanky during Reed and Sue’s wedding. And look to the mighty Kevin for a shot of a damned fine cameo.

So, anyway, I didn’t see anything that makes me think this is going to be an unmitigated disaster, so I am guardedly optimistic about this flick. I did enjoy the first film for what it was, though it could have used a little more time on the stove before being served to audiences.

I haven’t read any articles on the subject or even spent the time trying to Google it up myself…but what’s the word on Galactus in this movie? I mean, if you’ve got the Surfer, you have to have Galactus…but I’m thinking it’s going to be the Ultimate-verse “swarm of space bugs” version more than “giant guy in a funny helmet” version.

Oh, okay, I did find this mention via the Wikipedia article I linked. This is what Fox chairman Tom Rothman had to say about it:

“IESB: Is [Galactus] going to look like anything like we’ve seen him in the comic books?

TR: Yes, I think that Galactus, look, I don’t want to give away too much, right, but I will say this, Galactus will appear and fans will not be disappointed.”

‘Course, he didn’t say which comics, and “fans will not be disappointed” is usually code for “we bent it ’til it broke, but hopefully fans won’t care,” but, honestly, before I die, old, alone, in my tiny, underheated apartment with piles of months-old newspapers and too many cats, all I want to see is a live action version of Galactus, as Jack Kirby imagined him, stomping through New York like Godzilla stomped through Tokyo. THIS MUST HAPPEN.

The non-comic book post I dared to title "PIRATING MOVIES." (No, not that kind of pirating.)

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One of the gifts I received for Christmas was the Mel Brooks Boxed Collection DVD set, given to me by my mother, which reminds me that I probably never shared with you, the semi–loyal and occasionally–sober Progressive Ruin readers, one of my favorite movie-going experiences:

Now, Mel Brooks’ Robin Hood: Men in Tights will probably never be referred to as one of Brooks’ major achievements, but it was a relatively amusing spoof of Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (which itself wasn’t terrible, but certainly not a patch on Errol Flynn’s version).

However, that same weekend my girlfriend and I went to see Robin Hood: Men in Tights, there was a festival at our local marina, and as part of that festival there was an ersatz pirate ship, manned by dozens of folks in piratey costumes, doing piratey things. And, after the festival closed up shop for the night, those pirate folks went looking for some fine evening entertainment…and they all wound up at the very same showing of Robin Hood: Men in Tights that we attended. Me and my girlfriend, surrounded by dozens of rowdy folks in pirate costumes.

My initial response was “well, better go get a refund on the tickets, because there’s no way we’re going to be able to watch the movie with this noisy crowd,” but for whatever reason we decided to stay and see if things quieted down.

Well, as it turned out, it didn’t quiet down, but that ended up being okay, as our pirate pals were really into the movie. They cheered at all the right spots, they groaned at the awful puns, and just plain enjoyed the film. (One particular example I remember was when Robin Hood (Cary Elwes) says to the camera “Unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent,” the entire audience let out a loud “ooooooOOOOOOOOooooooh!”) It was darned infectious, this joy was, and and it basically took what would have been an average film-going experience and turned it into a real blast.

Believe me, it was vastly preferable to the vast sea of cell phone lights that seem to pollute any movie-going experience I have nowadays. Even now I think to myself, at pretty much any movie I go to, “how much more would I enjoy this film if there were a crowd of pirates here with me?”

In fact, if you plan on attending any movies, do your best to share a theatre with a bunch of folks dressed as pirates. I highly recommend it.

By the way, in that Wikipedia entry about the Brooks film, they mention that they change the “English accent” line for some other countries. The German joke is pretty good (“Because I, unlike some other Robin Hoods, do not cost the producers 5 million”), but man, the French and the Italians get shafted with their versions of the gag, referring to Costner’s earlier hit (“Because unlike other Robin Hoods, I do not dance with the wolves”). Unless there’s some cultural thing, or word play in those languages, that this ugly American is not aware of that makes it funny…that joke’s pretty lame.

Okay, here’s a little bit of comic book news:

“‘Civil War’ best comic book series of the year”

“1. Civil War (Marvel Comics): The best comics always hold a mirror to society. In this stark and tightly written miniseries, superheroes had to determine among themselves why they do what they do. […] Civil War is a thought-provoking nail-biter.”

Aaaaaaaand…DISCUSS.

It’s Christmas Eve, and this is the best I’ve got.

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What I bought Pal Dorian for Christmas.

What Pal Dorian got me for Christmas.

He also got me the Justice League Unlimited action figures for Elongated Man and Rocket Red, because Dor is tetched in the head. And because, as Dor says, these are two unloved characters and he figured if anyone would appreciate them, it’d be me.

And yes, we already opened the presents. We’re bad, bad people.

I spent a good chunk of Saturday reorganizing and cleaning up our t-shirt inventory, which I’d been successfully putting off doing for quite a while until I realized I couldn’t put it off any longer. Really, I think the last time anyone dealt with the shirts in this thorough a fashion it was…um, Dorian, when he still worked here. So, yeah, it had been a while.

Anyway, a few observations from that particular endeavor:

1. Apparently we thought Elektra shirts were going to sell far better than they actually did.

2. Hey, we still have a couple Reid Fleming, World’s Toughest Milkman shirts in stock! (Both in Large.)

3. We are actually out of Vertigo Sandman shirts. I never thought I’d see the day. We even got rid of that lame “it was good being your raven” shirt that makes absolutely no sense with that panel taken out of context.

4. Oh, dear God in heaven, we still have an Arnold Schwarzenegger as “Mr. Freeze” t-shirt (with “FREEZE!” emblazoned along the bottom of the image). Next time I ship something to, say, Kevin, I’m going to use it as packing material.

5. I think, at this point, Pokemon shirts may be a bit of a hard sell.

6. As I was straightening out the Batman shirts, I was remembering back to the time of the first Tim Burton Batman film, when we had a waiting list for Bat-shirts a mile long. Those were the days.

7. There sure are a lot of Golden Age Flash t-shirts.

8. Has there ever been a MODOK t-shirt? And if not, why not?

Also on Saturday, we had in the shop, at the same time, former employee Rachel (now a WizKids rep…look for the woman with the wild look in her eyes behind the WK table at a convention near you); Rachel’s replacement, the oft-mentioned pal Dorian; and current employee, and Dor’s replacement, Aaron. Three generations of coworkers, all simultaneously in my presence.

No, it didn’t make me feel old at all, why do you ask?

Found on the eBay.

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Okay, I’ve been lazy-posting…sorry, holiday stuff and all that. Expect more of the same on Sunday.

But during a slow point at the store on Friday, Employee Aaron was poking through the latest issue of Star Wars Insider, and pointed out the article on bootleg items within. Okay, the “LORD VADER” belt buckle was 100% fantastic, but what grabbed my eye was the sidebar on Star Wars fanzines. Yeah, the author of the article does note that fanzines don’t really qualify as “bootlegs,” but they are unofficial SW products, and hence their inclusion.

Anyway, that gave me the itch to see if I could find any period SW fanzines on the eBay. I did find a few (and it surprised me to see how many had page lengths numbering in the hundreds!), but I found this more recent ‘zine that I just had to share:

“SPORTS NIGHT+QUANTUM LEAP+BUFFY+STAR WARS-Gen Fanzine”

“The title of this multi-media fanzine is FOR THOSE WHO WAIT, was published in 2001 and is 164 pages long. It is a digest-sized fanzine and is both and gen and slash zine. If male/male or heterosexual relationship offends you, please do not bid. This is based on the events of September 11, 2001; these stories were written at various times in the hours, days and weeks following the tragedies, based upon information available at the time. Some stories contain facts and numbers which were later changed or modified.”

Oh, man, my brain is still trying to deal with this.

Otherwise occupied…

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…so instead I’m going to borrow a news item from Journalista that may be of some interest to a few of you. According to this item over at “Table of Malcontents,” an Archie representative has stated the new look Archie is only a short term experiment, contained to a four-part story serialized in Betty & Veronica Double Digest. Further appearances of the new style will be dependent upon reader reaction. (Folks with sensitive constitutions or staid workplaces should note that an image featuring Archie-style nudity is at both the Journalista and Malcontents links.)

Have yourself a merry little End of Civilization.

filed under Categories End of Civilization

Yup, it’s that time yet again, as I poke though the latest issue of the Diamond Previews catalog (in this case, the January ’07 edition) and show you Items of Note for your amusement and edification. Whip open your own copies and follow along….

(Previous installments of “The End of Civilization” may be found in the sidebar.)

p. 192 – Marvel Universe Civil War Captain America Bust:

So this statue and the New Avengers Spider-Man bust (discussed previously) are in a race to see who reaches obsolescence first. Well, I suppose you could putty and paint over the engraved “Civil War” lettering on the statue once the series is long forgotten, and voilà, you’ll be left with a swank “Captain America ‘Exploding Crotch'” statue.

p. 288 – Transformers Movie Prequel #2:

Alas, it appears important secrets are revealed on the cover of this issue, as this is all you get in Previews:

Hmmm…I’m guessing it’s going to be a picture of a giant robot or two that I don’t recognize since I don’t know a darned thing about the Transformers. Boy, am I so not the target audience for this.

p. 392 – Galactus Vintage Distressed Shirt:

On the other hand, I am the target audience for this:

Make fun of me if you must, but I think I need this shirt. We’re all nerds about something.

p. 397 – Naruto Sleeping Cap:

I’ve been trying to think of something to say about this item, and all I can come up with is “Santa’s angry possessed hat wants to have some words with you.” Yeah, I know, but that’s all I got.

p. 407 – Mothra Larvae Plush:

It’s the most huggable, lovable grub ever!

p. 418 – Archie Modern Jughead Bust:

Well, as you may have seen on the internet here and there, the “Modern” tag may no longer apply to this statue.

p. 422 – Guitar Heroes Marshall Amp Statue:

“The 9” scale Marshall Full-Stack Amp sculptures are officially licensed with Marshall Amplification, LLC. The Marshall Full-Stack Amp (JCM 800 Series) is a limited edition, hand-numbered, and hand-painted sculpture. The figure will be cast in a poly-resin and hand-painted in fine detail. Each sculpture in the Guitar Hero series is hand-numbered and displayed on an attractive wooden base.

Okay, I know these are designed to go along with the rock musician statues from the same manufacturer, but it’s still a STATUE OF A STACK OF AMPS.

p. 431 – Mahoromatic Mahoro-San & Sportsbike Multi-Material Statue:

Now, there are a few pages devoted to Kotobukiya’s statue output, with lots of exposed bras, short skirts, bikinis, schoolgirls, and so on…but this one has to be the best:

It’s a maid…strike that, an android maid with a gun on a motorcycle. I don’t know why, or how, and I’m not lookin’ for an explanation…just let me enjoy it for what it is: fantastic.

p. 451 – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Giant Pez:

“Let Leonardo and Michelangelo fill your mouth cavity with some tempting Pez candy!”

p. 455 – Eragon: Sword of Brom Official Replica:

“Hey, what’s this sword from?”

“It’s a replica of a sword from that one fantasy film…um, the one with the dragons….”

“Lord of the Rings?”

“Um, no, that’s not it….”

“Reign of Fire?”

“No….”

“Dragonslayer?”

“No, I don’t think so….”

“Lord of the Rings?”

“I already said ‘no.'”

“Willow?”

“Uh, maybe….”

“Chronicles of Narnia?”

“I don’t think there were any dragons in that movie….”

p. 456 – Voodoo Babies:

Baby Satan is amusing:

But I think I would have thought twice about using the name they chose for this one:

p. 476 – The Dork of the Rings DVD:

“…This 100-minute irreverent epic parody will keep you in stitches as you watch the throbbit Frudo Buggins, Arogant the Wrangler, Gladwrapriel, Randolf the Wizard, Gimpi the Dweeb, Legoblocks the Elfis and many more buffoons as they journey through Muddle-earth.”

Hell is something like this.

"But you must admit it’s different!"

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This is one of my favorite splash pages, taken from Superman #230 (October 1970), drawn by Curt Swan and Dan Adkins. I particularly enjoy how the characters themselves explain the conceit of the “imaginary tale” that occupies this issue (and the next one, in fact). Plus, it’s hard to beat a fantastic title like “Killer Kent Versus Super Luthor” — that’s high concept all over.

Here’s a closer look at Killer Kent, just because he rules:


As Superman said, a comic magazine is indeed a wonderful thing.