Mikester

…so no post today, friends.

(Actually, I just got a new computer, and I’d been so intent on the process of getting everything reinstalled and transferred from the old computer and blah blah blah suddenly it’s “oh, hello, sometime after midnight!”

Hopefully everything will be back to normal tomorrow. And that my scanner will still work. EEP!)

So I was leafing through a copy of Marvel’s ’70s pop culture mag Pizzazz (in particular, the July 1978 issue with the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band movie cover feature), when I happened upon the section where readers submitted their own cover designs for the magazine.

And get a load of this:

Folks, I believe that is the Hulk and Darth Vader squaring off in the boxing ring.

Well, okay, Vader is a bit indistinct, considering I’m blowing this image up from a much tinier picture…it could be, I don’t know, the Phantom Blot or something. But c’mon, it was the ’70s, and look…that’s gotta be Darth’s helmet:

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD:

“YAY.”

More spectacular than Mount Rushmore! More arms than the Venus de Milo! More stylish clothing than Michelangelo’s David! Slightly more boxing than the Rocky statue! Harder than Claes Oldenburg’s Soft Toilet! It’s the pinnacle of human achievement:

THE SUPERMAN VS. MUHAMMAD ALI STATUE:

It’s being produced to tie into the long-awaited rerelease of the classic Superman Vs. Muhammad Ali treasury edition, coming in a regular sized deluxe edition with a new cover and unpublished art, and a facsimile edition with the original cover, and printed at its original size.

It’s Superman and Muhammad Ali teaming up to fight an alien invasion. With boxing. Drawn by Neal Adams at his absolute peak. It’s the perfect comic book.

…Why, yes, I do like this comic, why do you ask?

So this past Sunday was employee Timmy’s last day of working here at the shop, as he leaves us to pursue his dream of becoming a professional flamenco dancer. As a result, the Official Comic Shop In-House Baker and Morale Chief pal Dana brought us the above spongy delight in honor of Tim’s firing leaving. A little bit of the icing came off in transit, which you can see on the wax paper there, but that’s okay as Batcake is too busy fighting culinary crime to worry about such niceties as a flawless fondant. And Tim and his pals certainly liked the cake well enough, as they basically inhaled it before poor ol’ Mike could get a bite. But, that’s okay, since 1) I’m still sick, and 2) I’m still working on the phalanx of cupcakes Dana gave me for my birthday.

I’m pretty sure Dana is fattening us up for something nefarious. Well, good luck with Timmy, since he has the metabolism of a hummingbird, but just typing the word “cupcakes” made me gain three pounds, so I’m clearly an easy mark for whatever she’s planning.

Anyway, while at the store Dana said that while she was putting it together, she was pondering what flavor a Batman cake should actually should be. She decided on chocolate, but I told her a Batcake could only have the flavor of justice. (You know, whatever that tastes like. Probably something with blueberries.)

My warranty must have expired, because I took yet another Saturday off work due to illness, and as such don’t have much more for you today than a brief appreciation of the back cover art from the DC Comics digest Adventure Comics #498 (April 1983) by Howard Bender and Frank Giacoia. I mean, look, the Spectre is totally fighting a dinosaur.

There were some nice little character pieces drawn on the back covers of a lot of these DC digests, and I think I’ll write a little more on them when I’m a bit more recovered. But in the meantime, seriously — Spectre Vs. Dinosaur:

Think about it, won’t you?

Though admittedy, Archie’s Love Scene is pretty close.

Anyway, the other day we had a large collection of 1980s Archie comics dumped on us, including a whole lot of black and white Archie reprint magazines and digests produced for the Australian market. Sorting through the piles, at first it looked like the publisher just made up a new title for each individual reprint book they published, simply because there were so many different titles, but further investigation revealed that that at there were multiple issues released under at least a few of these banners. But, man, there are just so many. I don’t even think Richie Rich had this many different series in the U.S. over so relatively short a period.

Anyway, here are a few samples of some of the Archie digests (which, unlike the squarebound American Archie digests, are staplebound).

This title feels almost like a Peanuts paperback title: Let’s Hear It for You, Charlie Brown.

Okay, whoever was making up titles for Archie’s Australian editions was apparently at the end of his work day when this one came up.

“Once upon a time there were two beautiful girls who attended Riverdale High School, and they were each assigned very difficult schoolwork. But I took them away from all that and now they pine for me. My name is Archie.”

“Enjoy Archie!” “Well, you know, I kinda like Archie, but don’t really enj….” “ENJOY ARCHIE, or ELSE.” “Geez, okay, fine, here…I’m enjoying Archie, okay? Wheeee.”

Okay, that’s not really making up a new title so much as just adding a different modifier to it. Nighttime Fun with Archie. Driving Fun with Archie. Fantastical Fun with Archie. Ooh, hey, Australian Fun with Archie! Seems like a natural.

I suspect some metacommentary with this particular title. “Geez, just how many comics does this kid have? This goes on and on.” “Hey, there’s our new title!” “Oh, man.”

Here are a few more Australian titles:

Madcap Archie (mad? Why, he’s downright wacky!)
Incredible Archie and Spectacular Archie (sadly no Uncanny Archie or Invincible Archie)
Archie Amusement (“bring me the one called Archie…he amuses me”)
Always Archie (it certainly seems like it)
A Date with Archie (this sounds like it should be a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book, for some reason…”Archie pulls up in his jalopy. If you decide to bail out now, turn to page 23″)
Archie’s Charm (I suspect this title is being ironic)
Archie Action (not as dirty as it sounds)
It’s Archie! (aaah! Look out!)
Archie Again (you can almost feel the lack of caring in this title)
Go Archie (g’wan, get out of here)
All Out with Archie (I like this title a lot)
Forever Archie (it certainly seems like…oh, wait, I said that earlier)
Archie’s Pin-Up Parade (NOTE: contains no pin-ups)
Archie’s Antics (Archie gives tips on using your Atari 800. …Okay, some jokes are just for me, I’m sorry)
Archie’s Triumphs (the thinnest Archie comic ever)