And now, the greatest Archie comic title of all time.

§ March 19th, 2010 § Filed under Uncategorized § 12 Comments

Though admittedy, Archie’s Love Scene is pretty close.

Anyway, the other day we had a large collection of 1980s Archie comics dumped on us, including a whole lot of black and white Archie reprint magazines and digests produced for the Australian market. Sorting through the piles, at first it looked like the publisher just made up a new title for each individual reprint book they published, simply because there were so many different titles, but further investigation revealed that that at there were multiple issues released under at least a few of these banners. But, man, there are just so many. I don’t even think Richie Rich had this many different series in the U.S. over so relatively short a period.

Anyway, here are a few samples of some of the Archie digests (which, unlike the squarebound American Archie digests, are staplebound).

This title feels almost like a Peanuts paperback title: Let’s Hear It for You, Charlie Brown.

Okay, whoever was making up titles for Archie’s Australian editions was apparently at the end of his work day when this one came up.

“Once upon a time there were two beautiful girls who attended Riverdale High School, and they were each assigned very difficult schoolwork. But I took them away from all that and now they pine for me. My name is Archie.”

“Enjoy Archie!” “Well, you know, I kinda like Archie, but don’t really enj….” “ENJOY ARCHIE, or ELSE.” “Geez, okay, fine, here…I’m enjoying Archie, okay? Wheeee.”

Okay, that’s not really making up a new title so much as just adding a different modifier to it. Nighttime Fun with Archie. Driving Fun with Archie. Fantastical Fun with Archie. Ooh, hey, Australian Fun with Archie! Seems like a natural.

I suspect some metacommentary with this particular title. “Geez, just how many comics does this kid have? This goes on and on.” “Hey, there’s our new title!” “Oh, man.”

Here are a few more Australian titles:

Madcap Archie (mad? Why, he’s downright wacky!)
Incredible Archie and Spectacular Archie (sadly no Uncanny Archie or Invincible Archie)
Archie Amusement (“bring me the one called Archie…he amuses me”)
Always Archie (it certainly seems like it)
A Date with Archie (this sounds like it should be a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book, for some reason…”Archie pulls up in his jalopy. If you decide to bail out now, turn to page 23″)
Archie’s Charm (I suspect this title is being ironic)
Archie Action (not as dirty as it sounds)
It’s Archie! (aaah! Look out!)
Archie Again (you can almost feel the lack of caring in this title)
Go Archie (g’wan, get out of here)
All Out with Archie (I like this title a lot)
Forever Archie (it certainly seems like…oh, wait, I said that earlier)
Archie’s Pin-Up Parade (NOTE: contains no pin-ups)
Archie’s Antics (Archie gives tips on using your Atari 800. …Okay, some jokes are just for me, I’m sorry)
Archie’s Triumphs (the thinnest Archie comic ever)

12 Responses to “And now, the greatest Archie comic title of all time.”

  • Rich Handley says:

    Mike, I was actually laughing out loud while reading this. I grew up reading Archie comics as a kid, and the best thing about them was always the gag on the cover.

  • Old Bull Lee says:

    Who do they think Archie is, Spider-Man? Batman?

  • Jake Saint says:

    “Composting with Archie!” – now that’s some critical discourse!

  • “On and On with Archie”

    Wasn’t that a Stephen Bishop song?
    Or Wilco?

  • Squeamish says:

    At first, I thought the first cover said “Sandwich with Archie.”

    This either meant Veronica and Betty were going to (a) enjoy a sandwich with Archie, or (b) enjoy a sandwich with Archie, if you know what I mean.

  • Andres says:

    At least he’s not beating anybody off.

  • 5c11 says:

    In the vein of “On and On with Archie” I submit: “Always with the Archie!” and “Enough of the Archie Already!”.

  • philip says:

    I just nabbed “Archie’s Sonshine” from a quarter-bin at the Emerald City Comic Con. It’s sort of Archie meets Jesus (should have been called, “Jesus, Archie!”) in which Jesus is a creepy dude living in his van on the beach.

  • Tony Collett says:

    I flip to page 23 and read “you die a horrible death”, then go back and pick the other option.
    Seriously, Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books and What If? stories had such a high rate where the outcome was death.

  • Tony Collett says:

    The quote I was trying to put in my last comment was:
    “A Date with Archie (this sounds like it should be a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book, for some reason…”Archie pulls up in his jalopy. If you decide to bail out now, turn to page 23″)”

  • Bob says:

    I wonder if this is where Steve Ditko is getting the ideas for the titles of his newest series of books (“Ditko Etc”, “Oh No, Not Again Ditko!”, “Ditko Continued”, “Ditko Once More”).

  • Undeadboy says:

    Man I’ve NEVER seen these before and I live in Australia.

    Some of the weird black and white reprint jobs they did here in the 80’s on a number of titles are great finds though, kinda like the Essential series before it’s time (though not as thick).

    I have an X-Men issue with a cracking cover I’ve never seen anywhere else that is based on the first appearance of the Juggernaut. I wish I could find who it’s by…