Captain America proves that he is worthy enough to lift Thor’s hammer, from Thor #390 (April 1988) by Tom DeFalco, Ron Frenz, and Brett Breeding:

This was from a period in Captain America’s history when he had resigned his usual superhero identity and became “The Captain,” independent of any government agency, in case you were wondering what was up with the costume.

I tend to have a soft spot for stories where characters (like Beta Ray Bill or Superman) find themselves worthy enough to lift Thor’s hammer Mjolnir, which normally only Thor himself is able to do.

Yes, I know that’s a weird thing for which to have a soft spot. What can I tell you?

EDIT: Please see Comics Should Be Good’s Top Five Non-Thor Mjolnir Wielders article for more information.

If I may make a brief callback to the last “End of Civilization” installment, there’s one other thing from the Marvel catalog I wanted to note:

So if the books sold 3 million copies, as that blurb from the Marvel catalog states, that should translate to, what, 15 thousand, 20 thousand comic fans picking up the Anita Blake comic? (And if you’re thinking that all those Stephen King fans are going to flock to the direct market and make Marvel’s forthcoming Dark Tower adaptation a huge, huge seller…well, don’t hold your breath.)

There we go, just one last bit of jerkiness left over from last Thursday. Good morning!

---

And so you know that Diamond doesn’t have a monopoly (har har) on dumb stuff in catalogues, check out this fine item from Harriet Carter:

“Farting slippers ‘break wind’ as you walk. They’re a gas! Present these sound-off slippers to any ‘fart’-u-nate old timer and get ready for ‘explosive’ laughter. One size fits all.”

Only $12.98. Small price to pay for your chance to abuse the elderly.

---

Gordon repurposes that photo of pal Dorian and yours truly. What did I ever do to Gordon?

---

So the other day, I was trying to think of the Worst Halloween Costume Ever, and what I came up with was Freddy KrueBorg — Nightmare on Elm Street‘s Freddy Krueger as assimilated by Star Trek‘s Borg, complete with a cybernetic eye and all that.

Not sure why I bring it up, really, other than to ask you folks…what’s your terrible Halloween costume idea?

1. One more step forward for the public acceptance of comic books, from the entertainment section of “PC Magazine’s Top 99 Undiscovered Websites:”

“Get your sticky fingers on the keyboard and go to Comic Book Resources, a site that can give you all the info on your favorite spandex-wearing crimefighters and other freaks of nature. And since it’s on the Internet, you don’t even have to leave your mom’s basement!”

2. So three weeks ago I link to this guy and his homemade Wolverine costume, and hey, no big whoop. And then a couple days ago Boing Boing links to it and suddenly everyone’s all “hey, look at that, isn’t that cool, woo hoo!” Oh, sure, fine, I see how it is.

2a. I’m just kidding. Relax. It’s not as if I don’t know that I get about one-jackdiddilyth the daily visits Boing Boing gets.

2b. Speaking of Wolvie costumes, that Wolverine aluminum claw kit I’d linked before is back on the eBay again. Get ’em while you can!

3. Another item on the eBay: “SDCC 2006 Comic Con Green Lantern Power Ring promo 52 1” – someone got $4.99 for that free GL promo ring that accompanied the release of Green Lantern Corps #1. You can see former employee Kid Chris modeling a bunch of those rings right here…why, that’s $69.86 worth of rings on those digits!

4. So perhaps you’ve heard that Robert Downey Jr. has been cast as Iron Man in the forthcoming Marvel movie. And yes, much hay has been made of Downey, a man who has had a public struggle or two with substance abuse, playing a comic book character that is a recovering alcoholic.

But to see what the average person on the street has to say, let us go to Killer Movies:

“I’m upset because i dont like the guy. His whole drug thing just makes him less respectable as Tony Stark. I just dont like the guy, doesn’t seem like he would look like Tony’s smart/rich character.”

“Eventhoug he doesn’t really resemble my classic image of Tony, he does have the capacity and life experience to bring an enormous amount of depth to this adaptation. He ain’t no snotty, polished and smooth little brat like Brandon Routh, which is good!”

“Only trouble is he’s 41 years old. If they make a trilogy, he will hit 50 before it’s finished.”

Yeah, don’t get ahead of yourself there, champ.

More:

“While I think Robert Downey is a good creative actor i dont see him playing Iron Man. Thats just my opinion, maybe somebody can convince me otherwise.”

“Yeah I am not too big on this one. I guess they picked him because of his alcoholism and stuff, he thinks he can relate to Stark.”

“Downey is too old – he’s hit his 40’s, right?”

“na he looks good for a 30 ish dude, got a lot of years left in him”

“That;s some bullshit. He could play bobby brown beter than tony stark.
Give me a day and I can come up with 10 better for the role.”

So one of the primary topics of discussion in the End of Civilization comment section wasn’t, surprisingly, thin-skinned Firefly fans raking me over the coals, but rather the potential audience for the high-end superhero statues and busts.

A couple years back, about the time I was beginning the whole “End of Civilization” thing, I briefly discussed Marvel’s Demogoblin statue, and…well, here’s what I said if you don’t want to make with the clicky:

“…Really, a Demogoblin bust? Are there 2,000 (or 3,000) Demogoblin fans out there who have to have this? Or Spider-Man fans who buy all related merchandise? Or, as pal Dorian suggested to me, are there enough Marvel statue completists to support the production of pieces based on even the most minor character?”

And I’m still not sure what would drive the sales of an item like this. The more I think about it, the more I think it is as Dor said, that it’s completists (of either Marvel or just Spidey varieties) who must buy every statue that’s churned out. I can see a Professor X bust selling, or even a Quicksilver bust…but Demogoblin? C’mon.

I do know items like this (well, okay, maybe not like Demogoblin) can sell well…as I understand it, some stores south of us, in the Los Angeles area, can easily move several of each new statue that comes out. In our area, statues and prop items are harder sells to our particular customer base. We get special orders for them, but just buying random statues for store display, hoping to sell them on spec…well, most of the time they just sit and gather dust. Just a regional thing, I suppose.

I haven’t moved many of the prop replicas…I think I sold at least one Green Lantern…er, lantern, and we sold a bunch of the Transmetropolitan glasses. I was hoping someone would order the Batman utility belt replica so I could run around the store in it check it out, but no dice.

The average customer for statues seem to be in their 30s or older, and they don’t tend to make the statues regular purchases. One fellow has been getting Silver Age-related Marvel busts, about one every few months, and another customer is committing to buying the Peanuts statue line from Dark Horse, but for the most part, statues tend to be a once in a blue moon purchase by our customer base. I know I could only justify one statue purchase (one guess what it was). (Well, okay, two…I got the mini-version as well.)

The most of any single statue I’ve sold was, believe it or not, the hideous Miracleman statue from Todd McFarlane/Image. We had a number of preorders, and we figured, well, if so many people are looking for it, we should carry some extra for in-store sales. And, sure enough, we sold those too. My primary memory of this statue is that some of them were flawed (yeah, I know, “‘course it’s flawed, just look at it”), and that the posts on the feet of the statue didn’t set properly into the notches on the base. We were able to get replacements, but still, it annoyed us and it annoyed the customers.

There was also this one elaborate (and imported) anime statue we ordered for a customer, with lots of little bits and sticky-out parts and stuff like that. We regularly pop open the statue boxes to check for damage, and, sure enough, the tiny curly and thinny bits were busted. We sent it back for a replacement, and when we received it…sure enough, the same bits were broken. A third try at replacement…same problems. (It wasn’t the same copy of the same statue being returned to us over and over, in case you were wondering.) It took four tries before getting a statue that was in new condition.

So, anyway…statues! We all have our weaknesses, and I told you mine. What character finally got you to drop a bill or two to take home a three-dimensional representation of him/her/it/them? Not an action figure (or the cheap plastic statues that are passing for action figures nowadays), but a $50 bust, or a $100-$300 statue. REVEAL YOUR SHAME.

---

In other (Mike) news:

Spandex Justice finally gets to me in his Blog Roll overview, and says some nice things in the process. Thanks, Vincent!

Roger Green takes questions from his audience, and here’s one of them:

“Mike Sterling: pro or con?”

“Well, when he’s behaving himself, he’s OK. But when he’s being a great big cheater pants, to the pits with him!”

Well said!

Lo, there shall be an End of Civilization! Hie yourselves hither to your copies of the October 2006 Diamond Previews catalog and follow along. (Previous installments: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19)

p. 183 – Ghost Rider Desert Statue:

Um…

…just sayin’.

p. 183 – Ghost Rider Mephistopheles’ Cane Prop Replica:

Three feet long, topped with a crystal skull, goofy as all get-out.

p. 185 – Marvel Universe New Avengers Spider-Man Bust:

Commemorate two, count ’em, two soon-to-be-undone changes to Spidey’s status quo!

p. 189 – Marvel Mount Heroes and Villains Bookends:

Okay, these are actually kind of cool. I like crazy bookends (though I have so many books I don’t really have space on the shelves for bookends). And now I’m picturing Mount Rushmore with Wolverine instead of Lincoln…AS IT SHOULD BE.

p. 318 – The 3 Geeks: Jim’s Jerky! – I now present to you the greatest comic book gimmick of all time:

“The 3 Geeks have returned in a hilarious, full-color ’boutique’ sized comic book called ‘Jim’s Jerky!’ that actually comes with a free chunk of delicious beef jerky!”

That’s it…everyone else can stop publishing comics now. FREE BEEF JERKY. This…this is just downright beautiful.

p. 403 – Lex Luthor Washed Hero Cap:

“Hero or Villain? Celebrate the undisputed genius, Lex Luthor, with this stylish cap.”

Yeah, I’m pretty sure the answer is “villain.” And just having the Lex Luthor logo on the cap is a little…weird, isn’t it? It needs a pic of Lex slapped on there, too:

Okay, that’s “Young Lex Luthor” from Adventure #292, but you get the idea.

p. 403 – Batman Tattoo T-Shirt:

Okay, I don’t care how you dress it up, and how “cool” you try to make it, that’s still a Batman logo shirt.

p. 424 – Buffy the Vampire Slayer Mr. Gordo Stuffed Pig Plush Replica:

It’s not an End of Civilization without another insane Buffy prop replica. I…I honestly don’t know what to tell you. It’s forty bones, limited to 2,500 pieces. So there you go.

p. 444 – Professor X Mini-Bust:

Pick your favorite:

a) “Hey, Bob…why do you have a statue of a bald man with a headache?”

b) “I see they’re finally making Dave’s Long Box merchandise.” (scroll down a bit if you don’t get it)

p. 450 – Rocky Apollo Creed Boxing Trunks Replica:

God bless the current onslaught of Rocky merchandise:

“From the classic film, this wearable 1:1 scale prop replica brings the look of the boxing ring into your collection, housed in a museum-quality shadow box!”

“WEARABLE.” Fantastic. The solicitation also reads “limited to 1,000 pieces (the year of the film’s release)” but I’m gonna guess that’s a typo.

p. 450 – Serenity River Triumphant Statue — okay, I’m going to be a total jerk, so you may want to avert your eyes:

“Limited to 1,000 pieces, each statue features a hand-numbered base with matching box and Certificate of Authenticity.”

Ah, so that’s pretty much one statue for every person who saw Serenity in the theatre.

…I’M ONLY JOKING. You Firefly secret police can just relax.

p. 454 – Witchblade “Schoolgirl” Statue:

“Presenting police officer Sara Pezzini (Witchblade) in undercover school garb….”

Oh, yeah, “undercover school garb” — I’M SURE SHE FIT RIGHT IN.

Marvel Previews p. 10 – Ultimate Spider-Man #103:

“The record is broken for the longest continual run by a creative team in Marvel history!”

…Well, aside from that 120-issue run of Groo the Wanderer by Sergio Aragones and Mark Evanier, of course. Okay, that was under Marvel’s Epic imprint, but I didn’t see any qualifiers in that solicitation, did you? “…The longest continual run on a work-for-hire corporately-owned superhero comic by a creative team in Marvel history!”

from Charlton Bullseye #4 (Nov. 1981)

Chris “Lefty” Brown is holding a contest on his site…“What’s Dorian Thinking” — take that terrifying photo of pal Dorian and yours truly in a manly embrace, taken by “Lefty” his own self, and give Dor an appropriate thought balloon/caption/whatever. Prizes will be given away…prizes above and beyond the reward of getting to see that picture, of course.

I am currently using that image as the wallpaper on the store computer, much to the chagrin of the other employees.

…At least until the next issue comes out, of course.

Just to be clear, I’m not a Civil War hater…as a seller of funnybooks, I appreciate the money and readers it’s been bringing in so far, but as a comics fan, while it doesn’t really do anything for me, I’m glad other folks are enjoying it. (And I have been enjoying the tie-ins in Thunderbolts.)

My comments on it the other day were more on plot development regarding Thor, which seemed to contrast just a little too much with the deadly serious and (I know I’m using the term loosely here) “realistic” tone of the series. Had this been less “sturm und drang” and more ’60s style, wacky go-crazy, anything-goes Stan Lee-esque series, clone Thor would have fit right in. But for (as Comics And notes) something that’s hyped as a serious allegory for real world concerns, it feels out of place.

Don’t get me wrong, as I don’t think it’s that big of a deal just by itself. I can appreciate what was attempted…taking a typical superhero plot trope (in this case, a clone) and casting it in a creepy light. One could even argue that the clone Thor has a symbolic purpose, feeding into the series’ overarching themes regarding freedom and responsibility. However, this is the plot development that caused everyone’s suspension of disbelief to become less willing, primarily due to what the development says about the characters involved…see the various reactions Neilalien’s been gathering for more details.

However, any series that gives me Sad Watcher:

…can’t be all bad.