Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin
Quicker than quick, stronger than strong since 1969
Starting today, I’m going to begin cycling through the various title banners that have been generously submitted by you, the loyal Progressive Ruin readers. I’m going to swap ’em out every few days, so remember to refresh that browser cache of my site every once in a while.
If you’d still like to submit a banner for future use, the details are, again, as follows:
Again, thank you to you folks for your contributions. They’ve all been a lot of fun, and I truly am grateful for your time and effort.
Plus, a lot of you seem to think I’m some kind of Swamp Thing fan. I have no idea from where you got that impression.
Haven’t done a “let’s look at DC’s solicitations” post in a while, but this time around I found a few items I wanted to comment upon:
And sure enough, some quick Googling turned up this 2003 post from Stephens on the Mike Allred message board about the cancellation (that I originally saw on an old Newsarama posting that I can’t get to load at the moment):
“They say the story, written by original Titans CREATOR, Bob Haney, is simply ‘too weird’ and contradicts the current, highly successful, efforts of the new Titans monthly. In fact, they actually argued that the timing was bad, and that releasing the comic when the Titans weren’t so popular would be a better idea. This is the first time I’ve heard the argument that a tie-in to a hit project is uncommercial.”
Whatever the reason for it finally being unleashed (probably something to do with the Teen Titans Year One mini), I’m just glad it is. Some lost Haney craziness is most welcome, especially if the powers that be thought it was “too weird.” That’s like a badge of honor…can’t wait to see it. And what I’ve seen of Stephen’s pencils look wonderful, so this is going to be one fun and good-looking package.
Here’s the Nick Cardy cover:
“This special flashback tale also revisits Batman’s life-changing Thogal ritual in the caves of Nanda Parbat!”
“THOGAL RITUAL IN THE CAVES OF NANDA PARBAT!”
“THOGAL RITUAL IN THE CAVES OF NANDA PARBAT!”
This makes for a good personal mantra. Repeat that sentence to yourself in times of need.
“Saturn Girl, Timber Wolf and Star Boy’s mission on the moon of Triton goes awry as Invisible Kid leads them into a lethal predicament. Meanwhile, Lightning Lad’s duties as team leader aren’t going any easier as he’s forced to sit through a painful tryout session for new Legionnaires.”
…and knowing that Jim Shooter is responsible fills me with some small measure of hope. It just sounds like an old-fashioned Legion story, so let’s just say I’m cautiously optimistic.
“Written by Sergio Aragones & Mark Evanier”
I liked Darwyn Cooke’s Spirit stories at first, though I got a little weary of them after a while, for no real good reason I can name. But those two creators have rekindled my interest in the title.
And this next bit just absolutely clinched it:
“Art by Mike Ploog”
Anything that gets me new Ploog funnybook art on a regular basis is a must-buy.
Then again, a new first edition hardcover will likely attract more attention from buyers (and orders from retailers) than reprint #17 of the old prestige format edition.
NO: Please, no more Superman or Hawkman figures.
MAYBE: Variant “Red Kryptonite” heads for Superman. I don’t want more Superman figures, but, but…RED KRYPTONITE HEADS.
Hey, you. Yeah, you. Do you like funnybooks? Do you like funny funnybooks? Do you have even the slightest interest in the history of comics?
Do you have twenty-five bucks?
Then BEHOLD:
So tell your local retailers that you must have this book. And any retailers that are reading this? Order a few less copies of some of those titles currently warming your shelves, and order some copies of this instead. God will smile favorably upon you for doing so.
(A certain Mr. The Dog and a Mr. Doane have a few words on the subject as well.)
I’ve had some links from a message board lately to my memories of the ’90s comic market crash…so if you’re coming here from there…hello! How are you? Some of you may not agree with some of my conclusions, or may not like my observations, but this is how I saw it, and your mileage may vary.
If you want to read more of my ’90s crash memories, here are some links:
Turok #1 and Adventures of Superman #500 and their roles in the crash
My readers’ contributions as to which comics had a part in the crash
A brief follow-up to release dates of certain ’90s titles
I welcome questions re: the market crash, and I answer: 1, 2, 3, 4
And now, a stupid thought I had after dealing with a bunch of copies of Marvel’s Champions comic:
I wasn’t a reader of that title, so I’m asking…did a scene like this ever happen in the comic?
Angel: “So, hey, Ghost Rider…what’s your deal?”
Ghost Rider: “Sold my soul to the devil.”
Angel: “Huh…tough break. Anyway, what’re we going to do about that Nazi bee-guy?”
Did any of the Champions ever try to get Johnny Blaze out of his satanic contract? You’d think they’d attempt to help out a teammate who was, oh, I don’t know, in danger of losing his immortal soul to Old Scratch.
Then again, I suppose the conversation could have gone like this:
Angel: “So what’s your deal?”
Ghost Rider: “Sold my soul to the devil.”
Angel: “Uh, yeah…that’s tough.” (THINKING: “Yeah, sure, buddy…I know you’re just another closeted mutant.”)
So if they think Ghost Rider is just, I don’t know, Vanilla Ice-ing them, trying to be all tough and saying he’s “from the streets” (or “fueled by Satan”), I can buy Ghost Rider’s teammates not going out of their way to help.
But then again, most Marvel heroes tend towards the “credulous” side of the scale…plus the Champions met Zeus face to face in one issue I looked at, so I’d have a hard time believing they wouldn’t accept a deal with the devil, too.
So, I don’t know…just some random blathering. Don’t mind me. ‘Course, it’s all moot if the Champions did try to help out their flaming skull-headed pal….
More random nuttiness:
Following the odd Popeye-esque arms on the Punisher that I spotlighted a few days ago, I had a very, very strange vision:
Swee’Pea, Olive Oyl, and Poopdeck Pappy’s bulletstrewn and bloodied bodies, laid across the grass of Central Park, with Popeye, sailor suit stained with red, falling to his knees and wailing in despair “NOOOOOSK!”
He then enters his mission of vengeance as the Pop-isher, heavily armed (in more ways than one), his black shirt featuring a white skull with one eye squinting.
(“Stars and Stripes” starts playing)
“I’ve had all I can stands…”
(cocks shotgun)
“…and I can’t STANDS NO MORE!”
Supporting cast: Bluto as Jigsaw, Wimpy as Pop-isher’s assistant Microwimp.
Yeah, yeah, I know…”up the medication.”
Employee Jeff: “Next time I go to a convention, I want to see Dan Didio and Joe Quesada get into a fight…”
Me: “…Wearing Speedos.”
Employee Jeff: “GAH! No!”
I’m still accepting contributions to the “Mike’s Lookin’ for New Title Banners” drive…in fact, there’s no deadline, so as long as this site is active, feel free to send ’em in as inspiration strikes. Remember: 825 by 100 pixels, “mike sterling’s progressive ruin” all in lower case monospaced Courier font. Prizes probably won’t be awarded, no money will change hands, fame and fortune will probably not be yours, there’s no guarantee I will use your banner, or for how long. I’m simply exploiting your goodwill for my benefit, and I thank you for it.
Seriously, though, you folks have been sending in some fun banners, and I do appreciate the time and effort you’re taking. I plan on beginning to showcase them sometime this week.
NOT COMICS, as Mr. Spurgeon would say: I’ve been listening to an enormous amount of Jack Benny lately. Nothing cheers a fellow up quite like Jack, Mary, Rochester, Don, Phil, Dennis, and the rest.
…aside from this cool Halloween-ish ad from a ’70s Marvel comic:
Here’s something we’ve had at the shop for a while…a copy of the Dell Giant Silly Symphonies #6 (1956), with what appears to be some kind of thesis proposal or essay notes or something written on the cover.
“The humor of Mickey Mouse is in his ‘out-of-place’ bravery and his fighting which is ‘out-of-place’ since he is so small in comparison to his rival that he is ‘unfit’ for the task he is chosen to do. Mickey is a fighter [illegible] not a coward clown.”
Here’s the illegible word…at least, I can’t make it out. Maybe someone out there will have better luck:
EDIT: General consensus in the comments section is that the word I couldn’t read is also “clown.” I thought maybe that’s what it was at first, since it seems to fit, but wasn’t sure…though the more I look at that scan, the more it looks like it could be a very sloppily written “clown.”
Ah, just yankin’ his chain a bit. Everyone go say hi to pal Ian and encourage him in his back-to-blogging endeavors.
Good thing Marvel doesn’t do their Star Comics line anymore. Or, maybe, “too bad” — picture a Top Dog zombie variant, with Top Zombie gnawing at Joey’s skull, trying to get to the delicious, delicious brains within. How would that not be great?
Anyway, as shiny and obnoxious as that new costume is, it’s still better than this one:
1. Pull out a copy of Transformers: Beast Wars (sample shown here):
3. Say, dramatically, perhaps even with the back of your hand to your forehead, “Oh, these wars are sooooo beastly…!”
4. Repeat approximately one million times.
WARNING: If you have an Employee Aaron, he will find this hysterically funny, no matter how many times you do it.
My favorite cover gag of the week, from Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #24, features this blurb:
The mighty Bully, the cute little stuffed bull, brought to my attention this AP story about the Detective Comics #27 (first Batman, doncha know) that was found in someone’s attic.
Leaving aside the fact that, once again, the article leads off with a reference to a forty-year-old TV show (I love the original Batman TV series, but for God’s sake, does the writer of this article think he’s being clever, that it hasn’t been done a million times before?), it had me wondering if we’re going to see a new wave of folks searching their homes for old comics and potential fortunes.
I’ve said in the past that, over the years, I’ve had many, many people claim to have “the original Superman” or “the first Batman” or something equivalent, and I’ve never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever seen any of these alleged books come into the store. That it’s recently happened once for someone out there doesn’t make me think it’s any more likely that someone will just pop in with an Action Comics #1.
It becomes readily apparent after a minute or two of conversation that most people who make this claim, or some are just talking about bringing in some comics to sell, don’t know the first thing about comic books. Now, I’m not saying that in some haughty, “oh, the little people just don’t understand the intricacies of our beloved hobby” Comic Book Guy voice. It’s simply that the ins and outs of the hobby is outside most folks’ experience, and not any priority for them as their interests lie elsewhere. And that’s fine. It’s not like I can walk into, say, a diving store and immediately know all the important details about diving. It’s just not my thing, and I shouldn’t be expected to know the fine points of that endeavor.
But over the years, I’ve noticed several aspects of the funnybook collecting pastime that non-comics people don’t recognize or understand. These are among the reasons why I’m tad skeptical when someone tells me about the valuable comics they have at home:
1. They can’t tell what year a comic was published (the older they say the comic is, the more recent it’ll turn out to be…though sometimes, if they’re the original owners and bought the comics as a kid, a general timeframe can be pinned down).
2. They can’t tell what issue number a comic is. (a “3 DEC” in a box in the corner of the cover is invariably interpreted as a date).
3. They can’t tell what condition a comic book is in (not “Very Good Minus” or “Fair to Good” type conditions, but “brand new” or “near mint to excellent” — which the comic is always described as — versus “run over by the family station wagon” — which it usually is).
4. They don’t know what the title of the comic book is.
5. They don’t know the character that actually appears in the comic. (Even gimmes like “Superman” and “Spider-Man,” which you’d think would be instantly recognizable by everyone on the planet, are victims of this…promised 1950s Superman collections have turned out to be 1970s Marvel Tales, for example).
6. They don’t understand that, unless they’re Whitman 3-packs or certain ’80s or ’90s comics, their old comics aren’t in “their original bags,” and the bags in question, being comprised of this plastic, aren’t a guarantee of absolute protection against damage (see my “run over by the family station wagon” example earlier).
And before anyone accuses me (again) of dismissing these people just because they don’t know what it is they have, I do put an effort into trying to determine, at least in general, what books are in their collection. And I try to correct some of their incorrect assumptions about their comics…in a friendly and gentle manner, not all huffy and dogmatic like I am here. I also try to remain enthusiastic, and encourage them to bring their comics in. After all, you never know what it is they’ll actually have. There could be some good stuff in there!
And if they say they have “the first Batman” or whatever, usually a size comparison at the shop will reveal that it’s the treasury-sized reprint edition from the ’70s (“is it the size of this comic, or this comic?”).
Maybe, just maybe, someone in our area has a Superman #1 or a Detective #27, and perhaps that person will bring it into our shop and yea, upon that day there will be great rejoicing. But I’m not holding my breath.
Sorry, Bully:
Speaking of Marvel’s current O.D.ing on zombie covers…did anyone have a moment, looking at the “regular” cover and the “zombie” cover for the new issue of Wolverine, where they couldn’t tell which was which?
1. I never, ever want to see another zombie cover as long as I live. DARN YOU, MARVEL COMICS!
2. Employee Aaron: “So, when is Simon Dark going to meet Batman?
Me: “Oh, man, is this another ‘evil mime’ comic?”
3. Tom Spurgeon interviews Larry Marder…more Tales of the Beanworld is forthcoming!
And I had no idea Mr. Marder had a weblog. How’d I miss that?
