Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin
Putting the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-bomp since 1969
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Okay, your pal Mike is still struggling with his migraine, and he has deadlines to meet on top of that, so instead of writing all that stuff I keep telling you I’m going to write, I’m instead following up on my Valentine’s Day post, where I presented a special card made just for me by pals Dana and Jorean. I mentioned then that they had made more cards that just that, and here are a couple of them:
• • •
The Wolverine card:
The metallic superhero sticker-thingies on the front don’t show up very well there, so here they are after I fooled around with the brightness/contrast settings:
Yesterday was a rare Mike-less Saturday at the comic shop, as I was suffering the aftereffects of a pretty bad migraine headache. As opposed to, you know, all those wonderfully fantastic migraine headaches. As I write this (late Saturday evening) I’m feeling a bit better, but still not quite up-to-snuff enough to generate the post I was planning, so I’m entering Low Content Mode for today. Hopefully I’ll be back and functioning at full power for tomorrow.
Thankfully, so I have at least something on the site today, Pal Nat sent along this image based on the most recent Sluggo Saturday post, illustrating comic fandom’s everlasting dichotomy:
Bully the Little Stuffed Bull also worked some of his hooved magic and whipped up this little number, plugging both me and Chris Sims in the process.
Thanks for checking in, folks, and I’ll see you tomorrow.
So I was talking with Employee Timmy about Smallville at the shop the other day, and I happened to mention “hey, you know who hasn’t popped back up on the show? Mxyzptlk!” Which is just as well, since the Smallville version was, well, kinda lame, but then I asked Timmy if he’d ever seen the Michael Pollard version of Mxyzptlk from the Superboy TV show. Unsurprisingly, he hadn’t, since the show ran from ’88 to ’92, and Timmy was born, um, somewhere around 2004, I think. Anyway, I Googled up a YouTube clip on my iPad while riding around the store on my Segway, and here is what I showed him:
I really don’t remember a whole lot about this series, since I probably haven’t seen it since it originally aired…and even then, I only saw a handful of episodes. But my memory of it was that it wasn’t too bad…even the clip above is sort of amusing in a very peculiar sort of way, and honestly, I think my initial negative reaction to it came from the fact that I just wasn’t prepared to see what I had seen. I mean, how could you prepare for that? Purple-beanied Richard Kiel will be visiting me in my unquiet dreams.
So, I’ll ask you folks…did you like (or not like) the show? Should I seek out a DVD rental or two to refresh my memories, or should I just let those memories fade gently away?
I’m feeling a bit run-down as I write this, I’m afraid…I was going to beg off, but there are just a few questions left and I’d like to get them answered. So let’s see how I do today.
“With so much getting collected now, most stores have sold off their old issues to give most of their floor space over to trades and manga and graphic novels and what not, but I understand that Ralph’s still has a lot of back issue bins. Do you still do a lot of sales in old floppies? How’s it changed from a decade or two ago?”
Actually, I don’t think it’s changed all that much. Since we’re one of the few stores left that still has deep stock in back issues, we still remain a destination for folks seeking out old comics. It’s still about the same percentage of the business we do now as it’s always been.
“If I download comics that aren’t collected am I still killing comics?”
Yes. Now that the police have heard your confession, they will be by to collect you in the morning.
“What’s better, Dark Knight Returns or Watchmen?”
Oh, that’s a toughie. A real toughie. We’re talking two very different takes on essentially the same subject: the dissection and, to a certain extent, parody, of a genre, with Dark Knight taking a more visceral approach, and Watchmen a more mechanical one. If I have to pick one, I’d say Watchmen, if only just barely. Like exactly one micron of difference.
“Who would win in a fight, Supergoof or Mighty Mouse?”
Mighty Mouse is clearly the more powerful and competent of the two, but never underestimate the power of Supergoof’s sheer dumb luck. I’d say it’s Goofy for the win.
“What do you think is the most significant contribution to society you completely failed to make because of a) comic books and b) your blogging about comic books? How many people do you think would be alive today if you had chosen a less geeky path? And if the answer is greater than one, does the thought of this ever keep you awake at night or do you consider the existence of Progressive Ruin to be more important than any one nameless individual’s life?”
Well, let’s face it, I was never going to be a doctor or a fireman. It was either this or librarian…and I’ve done the librarian thing, and I like this better. I can sleep well at night being reasonably certain that no one’s life depended on my life choices.
Besides, I know for a fact that my being in a comic retail job was directly responsible for a couple of my friends marrying each other, so chalk one up for the nerd life!
“Another question relating to the secret genius behind Progressive Ruin.
Noticing employee Aaron (with his hair cut) has a girlfriend, I have not help but be a bit skeptical, is she real or is she one of those ‘I have a girlfriend, but she lives two states over’ kind of girlfriends? Bonus question: If real, is she shorter than him? (As if that’s even possible?)”
I can absolutely verify the existence of Employee Aaron’s girlfriend. She’s been coming into the store since she was just a wee thing, and, in fact, just saw her here at the shop the other day.
She is just a bit shorter than Employee Aaron, but then Aaron’s taken to wearing his KISS-style boots with the six inch lifts, so perhaps that’s throwing off my eyeballed measurements a bit.
“Do you have any thoughts/opinions on Charlton comics? How about Gold Key? Do you have any back issues of Wacky Witch?”
Charlton Comics have this almost endearing half-assedness about them, so I can never really dislike them too much, even if a lot of them are, well, kind of crap. But I read a lot of them as a kid in the ’70s, so I have a soft spot in my head…er, heart for them.
I’m okay with Gold Key. Lots of nice covers, some swell TV tie-in books, handled the Disney line, and Turok was under their banner for a while, so I’ve got no beef with them. I read a handful of their digest comics as a young Mikester, too.
You know, we have back issues of Wacky Witch at the shop, but I can’t recall if I’ve ever looked inside one. I’ll have to correct that omission.
“Can you help me open this jar of Palm Hearts?”
Sure! What you do is you kind of bang the lid of the jar against a countertop, which hopefully will loosen it up a bit. If it’s still a bit tight, try covering the top with a paper or cloth towel, and grabbing and twisting the towel-covered lid. That should give you enough traction to get it loose.
Rich Handley wonders
“Since changing over from the prior blog site to the new ultra-white version, have you seen a change in your traffic? Does it look like most of your regulars made the jump to the new location?”
Traffic appears to be about the same, thankfully. I think there may have been a slight dip when my RSS feeds changed, but I think everyone’s caught on by now. I hope.
“Years ago in college I had a class with this girl who was a friend of a friend. We sat beside one another in class and used to chat sometimes and she was always very friendly. Then all of a sudden one day she was very rude to me. I used to see her outside of school and say hi and she would reluctantly acknowledge me, then ignored me outright.
What did I do?”
Lady Ruinites out there reading this post, look away for a moment.
…
Okay…Josh, there’s only one answer to this, and the answer is this: Chicks, man…chicks. Who can figure ’em?
…
All right, gals, you can come back to the site now! (Phew, good thing none of them read what I just wrote!)
“What are the three biggest things – hit comic book movie, blogging, distribution changes, crossovers, clean windows, Virgin Comics, anything really – that have had a positive impact on the store?”
Hmmm…I’d say 1) trade paperback/book collections and the audience they attract, 2) moving to a larger space all those years ago (though we could stand to have more space now!), and 3) movies and TV shows and just plain ol’ increased media presence of comic book properties (not that it directly translates to equivalent sales, but it does bring in some interest from new readers).
“Who would win in a fist fight: Chris Sims or Dave Campbell?”
Well, Campbell’s got some reach on him, but Sims has watched enough wrestling to try something that would end up hurting them both. So the only winner would be me, as I laugh and laugh.
“From a strictly visual point of view: do you think Swamp Thing looks better than Man-Thing? WHY??:O”
I’d say they both have their visual appeal. Man-Thing certainly is more monstrous than Swamp Thing, but Swampy as drawn by, say, Steve Bissette and John Totleben sometimes seems to have almost infinite detail to him. I’d say as long as Swamp Thing is being drawn as a swamp monster, and not just as a big green guy, he’s the more interesting design if only that you can read his expressions and emotions. Though the completely blank look on Man-Thing’s “face” is terrifying in its own way…AAARGH too wishy-washy to pick one. It’s my weblog, I say I like ’em both just fine. So there.
”’Swamp Thongs’. For the ladies. Sexy or not?”
So, they’d be all…leafy, or vine-y? …Sorry, man, can’t see it.
“I had to delete you from my weblog on Blogger then reinstall you. I assume that’s tied to your new feed. Is that a common issue or am I merely technologically cursed?”
No, that was caused by the new RSS feed the changeover created. I did publish one last post to the old feed asking everyone to change over to the new feed, and I may do another one in case anyone missed it. So don’t worry…I broke the link on your site, not you!
deadlytoque asks
“I’ve never read any comics with Thor or Iron Man, but I am keen on both characters. I’m a fan of Matt Fraction and also of Warren Ellis, and (to a lesser extent) J. Michael Straczynski . I also like the new Marvel Adventures stuff.
“If I buy Fraction’s runs on both titles, as well as JMS’s Thor and Ellis’s Iron Man, and then some of the MA: Iron Man books… will any of them make sense to me? Or will my total lack of knowledge of the decades of continuity exclude me?”
I think you’re okay. You’ve read comics, you have some passing familiarity with the characters, I say jump on in. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere, and none of these books have any kind of steep learning curve preventing you from catching onto the stories.
“What do you think of Fantastic Four right now? I’ve never been a fan of the series before but the current creative team seems good. Do you think it’ll last?”
I’ve always liked the Fantastic Four, though I don’t always like what’s being done with the title. But, right now, with Jonathan Hickman on writing chores, it’s been a fun, strongly written, and tightly focused book. Imaginative, a little weird, stories don’t go on for too long, and all the characters seem reasonably in character. Can’t ask for more than that. As for how long it’ll last…as with all good books, it’ll feel like it ended too early.
I know some follow-up questions popped up in later comments sections, but those will have to wait for a day when I’m not dead on my feet. Thanks for reading, internet pals, and hopefully tomorrow I’ll be a bit more up to speed.
You have-a the questions, I have-a the answers:
“Why won’t Mr. Ellis put out Fell in a timely manner?”
I’m probably not the best person to ask that. I wish it would come out a little more often, as I do have customers asking for new installments, and it does make for a good impulse buy at only $1.99 a pop. (I did notice that the first issue is no longer available for reorder, so unless they bring it back into print, the day of selling runs of the series may be over.)
“Does every arc get put out in hard and eventually soft cover trades or do only some get this treatment? If it’s not every book how do you think they decide what gets hard cover? Obviously ‘blockbuster events’ types are a given but what about the rest?”
It sure seems like everything gets put out in trades, doesn’t it? I’m trying to think of something recent from Marvel or DC that either hasn’t ended up in a collected edition or isn’t destined for eventual collection. Not a whole lot, is there?
As to why some get hardcovers and others don’t…just someone in editorial deciding which titles would be more likely to attract that hardcover-buying crowd, is all. The more popular the item, the more likely the hardcover release I suspect is the rule of thumb, though I’m sure someone will pop into the comments to set me straight. As for the less seemingly-popular items that get reprinted, it may be a matter of going to a hardcover edition to add to the perceived value of a higher pricepoint to counteract the expected lower sales…or, heck, instead of speculating, let me just say the reasoning is “money” and leave it at that.
“Why does a shop owner I sometimes frequent get mildly angry at the idea of me giving, oh, say some plastic colored promo rings, to my 6 year old son?”
Because some shop owners need to catch a clue, I think, or at least work on socializing themselves enough to be around other human beings. Man, kids love those rings…why would you not want to let them have some?
“What happens to the ‘average’ comic store (most of whom already diversify to some extent into rpgs, heroclix, ccg’s and the like) if the DM shrinks, even by a nominal extent? How much of an overall market change do you think the status quo can handle without yet another retail-implosion? And most importantly, are there advantages to the DM that could be created by better access to digitally distributed comics work?”
That’s hard to say without it actually happening. When the market crashed in the ’90s, we were able to stay afloat on sales from our game store and, God help us, POGs (though we still did okay, if not great, in comic sales, thanks to back issues and a loyal clientele for new books). If the market crashed again, due to a shift from physical items to digital (let’s say), maybe we could adapt (as discussed in yesterday’s post) but I can see a lot of stores going away, print comic sales going down as they lose their outlets, and so on until there’s no one left but guys like us selling runs of Dazzler to hipsters and the elderly.
If done properly, however that may be, there is a possibility that collected print editions of digital-only comics could support the direct market, but we likely won’t know for sure until The Big Change happens…if it does.
“OK Mike, I got one. Do you sometimes think of just how different your life is since starting this site? Is it strange?”
Well, in a way, it’s not that much different, since in one form or another I’ve been talking about comics in online arenas for about twenty years now. But I’ve never really had an audience quite this size before. But on the other hand, I wouldn’t be part of a book deal if it weren’t for the people I “met” because of this site, I wouldn’t be interacting with a bunch of interesting people (bloggers, commentators, comic creators, and the like) from all across the world, and I wouldn’t be basically synonymous with “Swamp Thing” and/or “Sluggo” with all those folks.
“And I have one for your lovely girlfriend: when the hell are you and Mike getting hitched?”
I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear the question.
“What’s your dream reprint project from DC? Marvel? Dark Horse? Image? Anybody else?”
DC: Sugar & Spike, Scribbly, or pretty much any Sheldon Mayer production.
Marvel: A full-color reprint of the ’70s Man-Thing comics (including the Savage Tales debut and the stories from Fear).
Dark Horse: Not a whole lot from Dark Horse that isn’t available in one form or another. Maybe they can pick up one the titles in “Others,” below.
Image: A good reprinting of Matt Wagner’s first Mage series, without the futzing around with color effects and the typo-ridden relettering. (Though I have the excellent Starblaze reprints, so I’ve got mine, suckers!)
Others: I’d like to see a collection of all the ’70s Atlas Comics, just so I can stop hunting the damned things down myself. And I’d like to have the original Metamorphosis Odyssey serial from Epic Illustrated under one cover…it’s been collected before, but not very well (it was all in black and white, and had some production issues as I recall). I’d also like to see more reprinting of some of the off-brand horror comics of the 1950s.
“Do you think the current spate of event storylines with multiple tie-ins offered is training even long-term collectors to wait for the trades?”
Probably not quite as much as you’d think…most long-term fans, at least the ones I deal with, would rather have the individual issues than the collections. I think to a certain extent we’re still dealing with a divided market, which some people are getting the stories in trades, and the others in serial format. I’m not saying there isn’t any overlap…of course there is, but I don’t think one is really replacing the other just yet.
“Who would win: Herbie Popnecker or Sugar Plumm?”
You know, I was going to say “Herbie” because Herbie always wins, but man, Sugar is the immovable object to Herbie’s unstoppable force. But I think Herbie is too much of a good guy to put a fight against a baby girl, anyway.
“Why the heck is there not a Sugar and Spike collected edition?”
Because DC hates money. Surely that’s the only reason.
“How do you think retailers can compete with something like Amazon when it comes to TPBs?”
That’s a tough question. It really comes down to some customers wanting to see something in person before buying it, and not wanting to wait for the mail to bring it. Plus, there are always those saintlike folks who want to support their local businesses. We can’t compete on prices, but we can compete on being friendly faces in a nice store. Well, mostly friendly faces, anyway…that’s why I have employees Timmy and Aaron.
“What’s the current count on HOS 92 reprints you own? (I’m too lazy to look back through the site). Is there any other story you have that approaches that number? (Me, I think I have about 9 or so copies of the Spider-Man origin).”
As of this post, I have twelve versions of the first Swamp Thing story from House of Secrets #92. Still, not nearly enough.
“Do you worry about the future of your career in direct sales? Do you think there will be enough fanboys that need to hold a piece of paper to keep direct sales going?”
As I’ve said, we’re probably big enough with enough diversification in stock to survive a market shift created by digital delivery. And I think the “all-digital” revolution for comics is still quite a ways off, iPad or no iPad, so I don’t think it’s an immediate job-killer for me, at any rate. It would probably take an additional generation or three of kids accustomed to reading material solely in digital form before the print market drops below sustainable levels.
But I think there will always prefer printed matter to digital displays. Maybe not a lot of them, maybe about as common as people who collect wax cylinders today, but they’ll exist. And I’ll still sell ’em funnybooks!
“How much is The Legend of The Dark Night #1 worth if it’s the yellow cover?”
If you hide a dollar in its pages, it’ll be worth a dollar.
“How much will it be worth ten years from now?”
It’ll be worth one Jovian Space-Credit.
“How much more is it worth if it’s signed by Billy Gibbons from The ZZ Tops?”
Man, I love the ZZ Tops. They’re my favorite Motown group. Clearly any comic signed by one of its members would be worth exactly One Trazillion Dollars.
“If I turned my long-dormant Swamp Thing site into a book, do you think DC’s lawyers would break down my legs and THEN issue a cease-and-desist, or would I get the cease-and-desist first and then the broken legs?”
If you ask them nicely if you could use DC’s characters ahead of time, maybe the lawyers would let you slide with just a busted ankle or something. I really don’t know…do the people who put out Draw and Alter Ego get DC’s permission to run all the DC art they do? Or is it fair use for review/discussion purposes?
“’Sluggo-Thing’: Best. Crossover. Ever… or just plain stupid?”
Nothing this beautiful could ever be called stupid.
You ask questions, I supply answers, more or less:
“Is this whole Q&A thing just a way to fill up a few days worth of blog posts?”
Well…yeah, it is, I suppose. It’s just that this was going to be a full week for me, and if I didn’t have to worry about what I was going to post for a few days, that’s one less thing I have to deal with. Plus, I like answering questions from you guys. I just hope you folks enjoy the answers.
“Also: Why can’t I enjoy things anymore?”
Have you worked in comics retail for 20+ years? That’s what did it to me.
“What comic books should I be investing in right now?”
GRRAAAGGHH…er, I mean, “you should invest in comics that you enjoy reading, so that they’d always be worth something to you.”
Also, you should invest in Resurrection #8, due out this week in your finer comic shops, and featuring the professional funnybook debut of Chris Sims, The Comics Writer That Walks Like A Man, along with co-conspirators Chad Bowers and Rusty Shackles! Guaranteed to be worth a thousand space credits in Earth: New Era, Year 100!
“Okay, more seriously along those lines: do you get a lot of people who think they should be getting rich by selling their 1990’s investment collections to Ralph’s or has that gone away entirely?”
Once in a while, I still get a phone call that goes like this:
“Hi, I have a bunch of old comics I want to sell!”
“Sure, what do you have?”
“Oh, a bunch of really old and valuable ones!”
“Can you read off some of the titles for me?”
“Let’s see…Wetworks…Brigade…Team Youngblood….they’re all number ones!”
“I bet they are.”
I then have to give them the unfortunate news that, well, not too long ago we sold 100,000 comics in bulk for a nickel each, and if one were to read off the titles included in that sale, it wouldn’t sound much different from what these folks had in their investi-collections. (And, as I’ve discussed before, it’s not as if any of these comics bought for investment purposes were ever kept in collectible condition anyway…they’re almost always beat to crap.)
So, while it’s scaled back quite a bit, I still do see the occasional person with dollars signs in his eyes and Shadowhawk in his short boxes, and I have to brace myself as I give him the bad news. Ah, well.
“If I’m buying books from the quarter boxes, am I wrecking comics? I got Batman: Unseen and almost all of the new Unknown Soldier for a dollar an issue; and enjoyed them both, but it can’t be helping out those books, creators, the comic shop, DC…can it?”
Well, if the comic is actually in the shop, then the publisher, creators, and distributor already have (or will shortly have) their share of the loot. At that point, the only person left to make money on the comic is the retailer. Hopefully, most copies of the comic will sell at cover price, but if there are some left over, or if it’s a dog and there are a lot left over, then dumping it in the bargain boxes is a way to recoup some of that loss. In other words, if it won’t sell for $3, maybe it’ll sell for a dollar. That’s still losing money, but not as much money as if you’d kept it at $3 and never sold it at all.
So, if you’re buying comics out of the bargain bin, don’t worry…you’re not killing comics. You’re filling one of the expected sales niches in comics retail, and you’re helping a retailer move overstock that he wants to get rid of, and still make back at least a little money in the process.
“Let’s say that the iPad/electronic market explodes and Marvel & DC move to exclusive distributon of single issues electronically. Do you think your store could survive as a retailer of print collections of comics and back issues (and as a retailer of whatever indie singles still released)?”
I think it’s possible, sure. I mean, there are still stores that sell records, after all. And since we’re one of the bigger stores, with a large selection of back issues, I could see our store shifting into one of the remaining “Old Stores with Archaic Entertainment Selling to a Very Niche Audience,” and yeah yeah we’re pretty much there already, I know.
“Do you think this is a likely future (as in happening in the next 10 – 20 years)?”
Hard to say…I mean, as more and more young people grow up used to the idea of reading everything on a screen, and more people like me who like their words and pictures printed on dead trees, dagnabbit (“he said on his blog”) die out, I can see the market eventually shifting to primarily to electronic publications. But the readers would have to be cheap almost to the point of disposability, and purt’near universal, I think, before that happens.
But I’d like to think that there will always be an audience for printed books and magazines and such. At least, I hope so.
(There is a related question that expands on this one that I will probably address tomorrow.)
“If a freak snowstorm would to hit Ventura and you were trapped in your store under 30 feet of snow with all your current employees who’d be the first to, you know, get turned into lunch?”
Aaron. Timmy’s probably too stringy, and I’m not much into British food anyway.
“First, do you feel the term ‘reboot’ gets bandied about too frequently in both comics and movies (and comic movies)? It seems as if the idea of ‘rebooting’ a movie franchise is akin to publishing a new # 1 issue.”
Yeah, probably, though it seems to have slowed down a bit in comics in recent years. Which is good, since the solution to something not working was too often “let’s reboot it!” which was just as likely to give readers a jumping off point as a jumping on one.
In movies and television, nothing succeeds like success, and if one rebooted franchise does well (like Batman, or James Bond, or Battlestar Galactica, or Star Trek), then the race is on to find the next one. Now, those particular examples there turned out okay, and I don’t mind seeing what some new folks can do with old properties, but sometimes people are trying a little too hard to find something to “reboot.” (Like Buffy the Vampire Slayer…are they still talking about trying to redo that?)
So, to answer the question…no, I don’t mind all the reboot talk, so long as it results in something good and entertaining and not, say, Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes. (Okay, I didn’t hate that movie, but it was oh so unnecessary. How do you improve upon perfection?)
“Also, where did I leave my library card?”
Probably left it in the last book you returned where you were using it as a bookmark, ya mook. As a former librarian, I used to see that all the time.
“Why do you think that there are no Robert Mitchum ties?”
Really couldn’t tell you, but I did find this Roger Ebert column which opens with a discussion of a tie Mitchum is wearing.
“What’s your opinion on DC’s habit of making a bigger deal about anniversary issue numbers (i.e. changing Wonder Woman’s numbering in time for her 600th issue, having Helen Slater do a story for Supergirl’s 50th issue, etc) than the actual anniversary of the characters themselves (i.e. nothing really last year for Supergirl’s 50th or Batman’s 70th, nothing for Superman’s 70th the year before, and not much this year for DC’s 75th anniversary (at least not as much as Marvel did last year for their 70th))”
You know, I have no idea. I’ve always liked the idea of anniversary issues (and in fact used to buy any of DC’s anniversary comics, regardless if it was a title I regularly followed), and am glad both companies still make big deals out of them. Now, Marvel fooling around with issue numbers seems to be more a marketing and sales thing…once the sales bump given to a title by having a new number one is over, switching the numbering back in time for a title to have a Special Issue that’s numbered at a multiple of 100 is just a way to bump sales up. DC doing it on Wonder Woman is…well, the same thing, I’m sure, but I think part of it might be that of DC’s Big Three Heroes, WW was the only character who didn’t have a title numbered in the hundreds. Bumping her back up to 600 was probably a way to reestablish her historic credentials with the company. Or it was just a sales gimmick. Who knows, really.
As to why DC isn’t celebrating the actual year anniversaries of the characters…seems to me I remember reading something about DC holding off on an anniversary celebration for Superman until his 75th anniversary rolled around, rather than undermining it with a previous 70th anniversary bash. Maybe they’re doing the same for Batman. And skipping Supergirl entirely…again, I don’t know, aside from Supergirl not being quite the same level of draw as the other big name characters, maybe?
Or there’s always the possibility that no one at DC wants their audience to think of their characters as “old.” Even though Grandpa Batman would be awesome.
“Have you read the Fables novel ‘Peter and Max’? If so, what’d you think? If not, are you a communist?”
Um…of course I have read it, comra…er, my friend. How could I not?
Well, okay, actually, that’s a lie. I haven’t read it yet, because I’m terribly behind on my reading and I ended up not picking up the book because I don’t need yet another hardcover on the stack I’m trying to get through. But I do want to read it when I have the time. There’s a paperback version due out soon, so maybe I’ll try to get my mitts on that.
Thanks for everyone’s questions…more tomorrow!
I asked you for questions, you folks questioned me, and now, let me offer up some answers for your perusal:
“When did you last masturbate?”
If you include mental masturbation, then I do that pretty much every time I write a blog post.
“When did you last masturbate to a comicbook?”
Oh, good heavens, never. Though, I did briefly consider (to borrow a phrase from George Carlin) touching myself in an impure manner when I scored that VF+ copy of House of Secrets #92.
“How much comicbook pornography do you own?”
Well, depends on what you consider “pornography.” I’ve encountered some people over the years who think anything in the comic book format is pornographic. I’ve repeatedly mentioned that one lady who thought Steve Ditko’s Spider-Man comics were too graphically sexual. (I have no idea what she was finding in there. I don’t want to know.)
And then there’s stuff like the underground books and indies and Vertigo comics…there is sexual content in some of those, and you know that’s enough for some folks to brand those as “pornographic” as well.
But I know what you mean. You’re talkin’ the full-on sex books…the “insert turgid Tab A in supple Slot B” kind of thing. Not really a lot…I have Phil Foglio’s Xxxenophile comics, which are fun and imaginative and hilariously dirty, Gilbert Hernandez’s Birdland which is…well, it’s Gilbert Hernandez, of course I’m going to buy it, and Don Simpson’s Wendy Whitebread comics and Forbidden Frankenstein, for which there is no excuse other than I’m a Simpson fan but should still be ashamed of myself for owning these.
“Have you ever masturbated while on a break at the comicbook shop?”
“Breaks?” Oh, yeah, like I get those. No, I have to do it at the register between sales.
“Not necessarily a question but a request, hope that’s okay”
Sure! I’m always open for requests.
“more Smallville commentary. It seems like everything I hear about it is either snark or geek worship. Your even-handed opinions about the show are refreshing.”
Thank you. I used to do a lot more Smallville commentary than I do, and…well, not sure why I fell out of it other than wanting to do something else, I suppose. I think part of the reason I don’t do it more than I do is because I don’t tend to watch them in a timely fashion, not that being late to the game has ever stopped me on this website before. And after this series of posts (occupying most of that archive page, beginning at the very bottom) I don’t know I have a whole lot more to say about it aside from any unusual events that may pop up (like that JSA episode).
But who knows…maybe I’ll be inspired to comment on the show again, someday!
“Who does Sluggo pick between:
1) Betty and Veronica;”
While Sluggo would be tempted by the riches and ritziness of Veronica, as often evidenced by Sluggo’s occasional wooing of new fancy rich girls in his neighborhood, I suspect he would find himself more compatible with the more down-to-earth Betty.
“2) Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson”
That’s really hard to say. I suspect Sluggo would find both of them intimidating. Probably Mary Jane…Gwen’s policeman father would be the dealbreaker.
“3) Jean Loring and Enrichetta Negrini?”
Well, one, Jean Loring’s nuttier than that fruitcake you still have leftover from Christmas, and two…dude, I’d go for Enrichetta Negrini! FOXY ITALIAN SCIENTIST IS GO
“So, Flash existed in the Smallville universe but when another super-speedster shows up, the press dub him ‘The red-blue blur.’ Really? They wouldn’t just call him ‘The New Flash?'”
Yeah, that whole “red-blue blur” thing…that’s the best name they could come up with? I haven’t heard them use it in a while, that I’ve noticed, especially since Clark is now the “Black Blur.” That’s a slightly better nickname, anyway.
“If you that baby’s father, where you bin at?”
EMPLOYEE AARON IS NOT MY SON. I resent this line of questioning.
“Do you think Marvel and DC are somehow in cahoots when it comes to some of their recent major storylines? They both ‘killed’ one of their major characters (Cap America & Batman) and sent them tumbling through time. And DC is heading towards a Brightest Day whereas Marvel has the lighter Heroic Age on the horizon. Or is it all just coincidence?”
I think it’s a fairly even mix of coincidence, following market trends, and Keeping up with The Joneses. The Cap/Batman thing is almost certainly a coincidence, the alleged “lightening of the superhero books” is simply a marketing tool / response to readers, and crossovers feeding into crossovers is mostly just Marvel and DC trying to outdo each other and eat up as much shelf space as possible.
“What thoughts do you have on the upcoming Brightest Day and Heroic Age events? ‘About time’, ‘Not more events!’, ‘I’ll sure sell more at the store’, or something else?”
As far as the actual quality of these go, we’ll see, but it certainly has customer interest up so I expect some strong sales at least initially. I am wondering if DC is pushing it with two weekly series and a biweekly series, though at least two of the three should do well. (The third, tying into a video game, I don’t have high hopes for.) And Marvel’s thing…”event fatigue” seems to be hitting Marvel a little harder than DC where our sales are concerned. Siege, Marvel’s latest event, is doing okay with its main series, but tie-in books mostly are dying the dog’s death. So how well “Heroic Age” goes depends on how many comics have the “Heroic Age Tie-In!” banner on them.
“If Swamp Thing and Man-Thing somehow merged together to form one creature would it be called Swamp Man? Or Thing-Thing?”
It would be called “a big slimy mess,” I’d imagine. (Or whatever Dave Sim called it when his Man-Thing and Swamp Thing parodies (nicknamed Fred and Ethyl) were merged together into that giant being with The Little Fellow with The Hair as they attempted their ascension to Tarim. Yes, I realize this makes no sense to a lot of you.)
“As a comic store manager what is your reply when a new customer asks you ‘Is this book any good’ when you in fact think this book is complete garbage? let’s say it’s ULTIMATES VOL. 3 which is a book I don’t think I’ve heard anyone say anything nice about. Do you pass up the sale and tell the customer it’s crap or do you knowingly sell the customer something you feel is crap and very few people have even enjoyed?”
I’ve talked about this before on the site, and it’s a tricky thing. With a customer whose tastes I know, it’s a little easier to say “yay” or “nay” on something, and try to direct him to something else he might like if I gave him a “nay.” Individualized attention like this facilitates future sales, as the customer comes to trust my recommendations, and will perhaps try a new thing he wouldn’t have considered otherwise if not for my say-so. (A subtle distinction lost on those people who could not understand my disdain for a store newsletter that told essentially the entire customer base to “not buy” certain comics, if you remember that bit of foolishness from a year or so back.)
A new customer, or a customer whose preferences I’m not familiar with, is a little harder. I’ll make an attempt to explain what the book is about, what characters are in it, maybe even other works by the same creator to give them a reference point, if that helps…I try not to say anything like “most people think this book sucks” because for all I know, this person I’m talking to may think this book will be great. You might get a “this isn’t really my thing” out of me, but I’ll try to find out if it would be this customer’s thing. And in the case of Ultimates 3, I had plenty of customers who liked it just fine, so there you go. It’s a matter of finding out what that customer wants from his funnybook reading, and trying to fill that need.
And that’s enough questions for today. Come back same Mike-time, same Mike-channel for more pulse pounding answers in the mighty Ruin manner!
So anyway, a while back pal Dana and Employee Timmy were planning to go to a particular event together, and Dana repeatedly reminded Timmy to “dress nicely.” She of course made the mistake of doing so within my presence, thus resulting in my telling Timmy that the perfect complement to any formal wear is, of course, the sombrero. Man oh man, I do love sombreros.
Well, Dana, an apparent supporter of the anti-sombrero agenda, did not hold to my opinions on fashion, and forbade Timmy from sporting a stylish sombrero for the function they planned to attend. Which of course caused me to extol the virtues of the beloved sombrero to Timmy nearly every day leading up to the actual event, in turn causing additional grief to Dana and further warnings from her to Timmy. And the occasional threat of punching to me.
Alas, Timmy ultimately did not take my advice and attended the event with Dana sans sombrero. But, months later, for Valentine’s Day, Dana and her friend Jorean gifted the store and its employees with a multitude of hand-crafted greeting cards, including this fine example for yours truly:
The other cards were pretty swell, too, so I’ll try to get scans of those when I can. Assuming Dana doesn’t kill me for putting this one up on the site.
Also, the cards came with homemade cookies. Mmmmmm homemade cookies.
This quote amused me a bit:
“…We’ve got a comprehensive offering that will satisfy both avid gamers and Watchmen movie fans.”
So maybe the set will also include pieces featuring Rorschach chopping that guy’s head, Nite Owl falling to his knees and shouting “NOOOOO,” and of course a dual-figure sculpt commemorating that 48 minute long sex scene between Daniel and Laurie.
…Okay, I do buy the occasional Heroclix figure if it’s a character I like…so I’m likely to be sorely tempted by these. But, seriously, I want the Bernies as part of the set. C’mon, you know that’d be awesome.