"It is not the usual mass-produced item with ordinary so-called powers."

§ October 4th, 2006 § Filed under Uncategorized § 1 Comment

“BEWARE! This very moment, someone, somewhere, may be giving you the EVIL EYE…and YOU don’t even know it. For your own personal well-being, please DO NOT ignore this sincere warning! Read this message – and take immediate counter-action!”

[…]

“Though its very name sends shivers down your spine, the EVIL-EYE EVADER could be the best friend you ever had. A protective ally SO strong, SO forceful, SO terribly destructive that it fully eliminates the most powerful EVIL EYE. That’s why you MUST use it with extreme caution. Yes, it’s that dangerous…to others!”

[…]

“However, before I send you the EVIL-EYE EVADER, you must agree to this ONE unshakable condition.

“You must promise to never, ever tell anyone that you will be using the EVIL-EYE EVADER. And I mean ANYONE!

“Here’s why: I’m afraid that the one person you tell might be the very one who is secretly casting the EVIL-EYE upon you…and you don’t even know or suspect it. So for your own sake, tell no one! NO ONE!”

[…]

“When you want to drive someone away – simply call upon the EVIL-EYE EVADER!

“When you want to save your job – simply call upon the EVIL-EYE EVADER!

“When you want someone to stop double-crossing you — simply call upon the EVIL-EYE EVADER!

“When you want your full measure of happiness, success, love, or money…and NOT despair – simply call upon the EVIL-EYE EVADER!”

[…]

“…Don’t try to buy the EVIL-EYE EVADER in any store. It is not the usual mass-produced item with ordinary so-called powers.

“No, the EVIL-EYE EVADER is an exquisite work-of-art available ONLY from us. You’ll cherish and use this true masterpiece for the rest of your life.”

[…]

“To prove to you that I mean every word I’ve said – I’ll give you this fantastic DOUBLE MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE: The EVIL-EYE EVADER must work for you within 30 days, or I’ll return ALL your money PLUS ANOTHER $6.66 for your time and trouble. That’s right! You’ll receive DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK with absolutely no strings attached!

“If you’ve never thought of clipping a coupon before, do it NOW. It may be the answer to all your prayers!”

from Haunted #66 (March 1983)

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