Page 116 – Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

March 8, 2019 filed under End of Civilization 7 Comments

STOP! Don’t pass up this End of Civilization entry! My LIFE depends on it! Is this the last stand of the March 2019 edition of Diamond Previews? Mike stakes his life on–YOU!

p. 71 – MCMLXXV TP:

Greatly anticipating the sequel MCMLXXVII.

p. 74 – Paradox Girl Vol. 1 TP:

“Mike, when is Paradox Girl coming out?”

“In two weeks.”

“Really?”

“In one week.”

“But you just said….”

“In half a week.”

“Um….”

“In one fourth of a week.”

“DAMMIT MIKE”

p. 116 – Minecraft Vol. 1 TP:

“Wow, we have to go to a second printing on the Minecraft comic! Send someone out to get more sugar cane!”

p. 120 – Disney’s Frankenstein Starring Donald Duck TP:

“No, no, Frankenstein is the duck, Frankenstein’s monster is….”

“Peg-Leg Pete?”

“No, it’s not h–anyway, look, we can’t call him ‘Peg-Leg’ anymore, it’s not very sensit–”

“Okay, Black Pete.”

“AH GEEZ”

p. 121 – Disney’s Dracula Starring Mickey Mouse TP:

Now this has me thinking about Disney’s Night of the Living Dead. “Gawrsh, they’re coming to get you, Minnie! AH-HYUK!”

p. 190 – Red Sonja and Vampirella Meet Betty and Veronica #1:

I was going to make some kind of gag about this, but there’s really not much to add, is there?

p. 286 – Archie’s Big Book Vol. 6 High School Yearbook:

“Dad, I need to pay for the new yearbook, can I have some cash?”

“Archie, we already have like eighty yearbooks, do we really need another?”

p. 288 – Fathom #1:

So Fathom gives in to the current hot trend of relaunching your series with a new number one. I mean, they’ve only done it [checks notes] at least seven times before.

p. 308 – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the Freshmen Force: New Party Who Dis? One-Shot:

Well, sure, why not. …Anyway, where’s my President Taft comic book? “TAFT SMASH PUNY MONOPOLIES!” C’mon, someone get on this.

p. M42 – Captain Marvel Feature Fashion Doll:

Cue the onslaught of angry dudes on YouTube videos complaining how a lady Captain Marvel is ruining their beloved medium of fashion dolls.

p. M88 – Cell Phone Girl Elder Sister Mobile Phone Stands:

“Hey, where’d I put my phone? I need to tweet something.”

“Um, it’s right where you left it, Mr. President.”

p. M103 – Captain Marvel Empire Collection Toaster:

“And they’re ruined toasters now, too! Is there no end to their perfidy?”

“Well, look, surely the Rorschach Toaster did more to….”

“NO! THE RORSCHACH TOASTER IS A SAINT! A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF TRADITIONAL MALENESS”

DC Previews p. 6 – DCeased #1:

Look, DC, just put out a book called “DC Zombies.” You know that’s what you wanted to call Blackest Night. Anyway, Dave Sim kinda sorta beat you to this title.

Marvel Previews p. 4 – Savage Avengers #1:

If Conan’s back in the Marvel Universe, will it be long before this guy worrying about the yen versus the dollar is back, too?

PLEASE SAY NO

Should also note, in fairness, Alan Moore probably would have had the Question say “Good question,” too.

March 6, 2019 filed under this week's comics, watchmen 7 Comments

[maybe some SPOILERS for Doomsday Clock #9 ahead)

I keep telling myself I have another deep-dive post on the whole Doomsday Clock thing, as a follow-up to this entry (and a bit more here) but it never really coalesces around much more of a center than “man, are you seeing this?” which, oddly enough, is sort of the tone of Doomsday Clock itself. “Man, are you seeing Batman fighting Rorschach? Man, are you seeing DC superheroes using swears?” You know, like that.

Issue #9, due out at your finer funnybook emporiums this week, is sort of the ultimate expression of that, where we finally get what we paid that admission price to see. It’s the DC Universe Super-Pals versus Dr. Manhattan, and I’d be lying if I said this isn’t exactly what I wanted from this comic book. I know they’re trying to say some heavy stuff about the political and society impact of superheroes in the DC Universe, a somewhat less subtle mirroring of one of the themes, itself not so subtly expressed in Watchmen. And they’re leaning hard on the anti-hero sentiment (again, as seen in the older series, and also, I’ve read Legends, thanks). And yes, we’ve got the President in here, too…we don’t see his face, but it’s Trump, tying these shenanigans to the here and now, versus the inherent weirdness of seeing Nixon as President in the original’s time frame of the late 1980s.

Hmmm…didn’t mean to do a whole “Watchmen is like this, but Doomsday Clock is like this” thing there, but it’s pretty much hard to avoid when discussing a series that on a very surface level is aping its inspiration while trying to shoehorn the format into a milieu for which it wasn’t really suited. The trappings are all there, the art is quite nice, it remains, as I’ve written before, oddly compelling almost despite itself, but it doesn’t feel right.

It certainly succeeds in not being like pretty much anything else DC has ever published…or it could be exactly like material DC has published, with characters forced to conform to a structure for which they weren’t intended. Even Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns, as different from the usual comic book mold as it was, still felt like a natural extension of what had come before. Doomsday Clock feels like having your Star Wars action figures fight your Micronauts toys. Yeah, you bet it’s fun, but clearly the two lines were never really designed to be compatible.

I’m still interested…I’m looking forward to seeing the metatextual hoops the series jumps through where the Watchmen property is being used to explain DC’s real world New 52/Rebirth publishing initiatives (which, while not a fan of how we got to this point with a surfeit of reboots/relaunchs, I still contend is a clever aspect of the Doomsday Clock project as a whole). And, as a longtime Superman fan, I am very curious about Dr. Manhattan’s connection to that particular bit of DC’s continuity changes (hinted at very briefly, but More on That Next Time, I take it).

In conclusion, it’s all been worth it just for Guy Gardner is this issue.

“Complains too much about online reviews – TWO STARS.”

March 4, 2019March 4, 2019 filed under retailing 5 Comments

So late last year, I receiving the following online review for my business in one of the usual places one finds reviews for one’s business:

“A quite [sic] little place in Oxnard. Pretty good food. Good service.”

Okay, you may have noticed a couple of problems there, I mean, aside from the typo. First, my comic book store isn’t in Oxnard. It’s in Camarillo, which is next to Oxnard, but it is not Oxnard. Also, while one could perhaps allow for the most generous interpretation of “good food” to mean “oh, yeah, there’s good food at the restaurant next door” or “that meatball sub Mike was eating looked pretty delish,” I’m going to presume that, in conjuction with the follow-up comment, they meant that I served good food. The “good service” note probably wasn’t specifically about me either, despite being 100% accurate.

At any rate, it’s pretty clear someone made a mistake and placed a review for some eatery or ‘nother on my listing. Also, it was a three star rating, a middling review (though it sounds like they liked whereever it was they were actually reviewing just fine), which dinged my average a smidgen. I replied to the review noted that it seemed to have been left in error, but never got a response. It took complaining to the platform to get it removed…which itself took a couple of months, but with the amount of traffic they’re dealing with, I understand.

I don’t generally worry about reviews of my store. I was more bemused by the situation I described than anything else. But I realize that you just can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try. I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve had some very kind folks leaving positive reviews of my shop in various places, which is gratifying and showing that perhaps I’ve somehow learned to do a comic shop right after three decades in this industry.

But I’ve had some middling reviews, too, and part of my job as Business Owner is to address those reviews, especially when they don’t leave any comments beyond a star rating. I tend to read “3 stars” as “good, but not great,” which is, you know, reasonable, but I would like to know what it is specifically I did to not earn higher, if a comment wasn’t left. I always try to be nice and polite when responding, asking what I could do to improve their experience, etc. Have yet to hear back from anyone, but, well, what can you do. I mean, other than try harder, that is!

The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is that someone dropped a two-star review on me, and again, with no explanation as to why. Just “here you go, two stars,” which…I don’t know, man. I don’t recall anyone being particularly unhappy with me of late. I have had a recent influx of people looking for role playing game stuff, and perhaps this was from one of these folks (“Didn’t carry product line that was never promised or even implied by business that it carried – TWO STARS”). I left a response, again asking “what specifically did you dislike? How can I improve,” but I don’t think I’ll get a reply to this one, either.

At least this person appears to have actually been to the store…I looked at the reviewer’s profile just to make sure it was a real person who’s visited the shop and/or dealt with me, and not one of those folks that firehose reviews all over the place to improve their “Top Reviewer” ranking or whatever — had one of those a while back, whose review has since been deleted — and judging by the pattern of places rated this person at least appears to have been in the area. But I have no idea why the reviewer didn’t like my shop, or me…how can anyone not like me, I’m adorable. Wasn’t shy about leaving very specific comments about other reviewed businesses, but all I’m left with is my assumption that the person objected to the fact that I carried comics.

Reminder: I said I “generally” don’t worry about reviews. But this one stuck in my craw a little, as perhaps you were able to tell. It just leaves me wondering. What did I do? Did I do anything wrong? Was there dissatisfaction with my available stock or back issue pricing? Or was it something entirely out of my hands? I did have to shut the store down for one day without warning due to some post-surgery complications…maybe the reviewer came by that day and dinged me for that. I don’t know.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll get a response and find out. And please do not contact that person on my behalf, should you happen to see the review…I do not want to be one of those guys that “sics” readers/followers on others. Everyone’s entitled to their informed opinion! Like I said, you can’t please everyone, and that’s okay. So long as I’m doing my best.

I know that’s a lot to type about something that I’m claiming to be ain’t no thang, and to be really honest, it doesn’t bother me. I presume one of the reasons you (yes, YOU) read this site is for some insight on the day-to-day stuff that goes into running a comic store. One of the things i have to do is, well, respond to customer concerns, and maintain some kind of control and/or interaction with my online presence. That includes social media, online sales, and, of course, reviews of my store. It’s just a thing I gotta do, and hopefully you gleaned some useful info from all this.

If nothing else, when you have to leave a middling to negative review for anything, at least leave a brief comment saying why, if you can, just so the reviewee has something to work with. Positive reviews are self-explanatory, I think, and probably don’t need commentary, though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy reading “Mike is great! I wish he’d adopt me!” or whatever. But if someone isn’t happy with their experience with me or my shop, I’d like to know a reason.

On a related note, recently comics writer Gail Simone asked on her Twitters for comments from her lady followers about guys who were welcoming and open to them regarding their “nerd interests.” I was pleasantly surprised to be mentioned twice, from longtime customer Jo:

“I was welcomed by @mikesterling who let me, as a child, enjoy comics and feel safe in my LCS. And as I grew and my tastes changed, he always knew to keep issues of Titans and Nightwing waiting for me. We would laugh and talk and discuss. Please go and support him if you can!”

…and from other longtimer, Weshoyot:

“That would be @mikesterling when he worked at a local comic shop. He was ways inviting, helpful and encouraged me to put my own Kinko’s copied comic in there. He now runs his own shop. Stand up guy. One of the good ones.”

I’ve known both these great ladies since they were but wee tykes, and it makes me very…well, emotional to know that they grew up with these kindhearted memories of me. God knows I’m not perfect, and I’ve made dumb mistakes, and probably more than earned the occasional two-star review at times…but reading these nice words from Jo and Weshoyot make me think that somehow during all these years, I managed to do okay.

Well, sure, I’ve been to Hollywood.

March 1, 2019 filed under big red cheese 17 Comments

So in response to my dipping into the “I hate that they just call him ‘Shazam'” well yet again, a lot of you suggested DC instead revive the old “Captain Thunder” moniker they used for the ersatz Cap in Superman #276 from 1974. There were somewhat convoluted reasons for DC using that version of Captain Marvel, and that name in in particular, in their regular DC Universe Superman book (which I’ll let Brian of 12 Years Ago tell you about), but while I do appreciate that name’s history and deep cut-edness, I’m not a particular fan of that option.

I’m sorry, pals, I don’t mean to risk alienating you by being contrary to the will of the people, as I almost never am, but at this late date, I feel like adding “Thunder” into the nomenclature mix is just compounding the problem. My personal preference of simply adding “Captain” in front of the current “Shazam” name would be the simpler solution, not to mention saving us the trouble of having to explain “no no, his name’s really Captain Thunder, ‘Shazam!’ is his magic word.” So you know, at least when people called him “Shazam,” they’d be half-right.

But ultimately, I suppose it doesn’t really matter what the second half of his name is (I mean, so long as it isn’t, like, “Disney” or something), but I feel really strongly about having “Captain” in there. I just can’t picture him not being called “Cap.” Pretty sure at no point did anyone call him “Marv.” Would they call him “Thund?” I pray God he’s never referred to as “The Shaz” in any medium.

As commenter Turan notes with this bucket of cold water, ain’t nobody gonna change no names what with a multi-million dollar movie about to come out with that one specific name as its title. Unless, as he says, it’s a big ol’ stinky flop, in which case they could change his name to “Captain Howard the Duck” for all anyone would care.

But I bet they could get away with “Captain Shazam,” movie or no movie. That’s close enough to not make Warner Brothers executives twitchy, isn’t it? …I have no idea, I’m not a Hollywood guy, but I feel like that’s the place DC may eventually land with the character. Yeah, they’ll probably note make a big push while he’s a current movie star, but sooner or later someone’s gonna bite the bullet and finally get that “Captain” rank in there somewhere. SO PREDICTS MIKE.

Thus endeth my, what, sixth blog post proselytizing for “Captain Shazam?” Collect ’em all, kids.

A big week for folks with lightning bolts on their chests.*

February 27, 2019 filed under this week's comics 12 Comments

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, either here or on the Twitters, due to my recent eye travails my ability to read at the pace I’m used to has been somewhat curtailed. I can read, but it takes a lot longer to get through a comic book than it used to. As such, the “to-read” pile at the secret Mikecave headquarters is beginning to pile up a smidgen, which is why I haven’t done a “this week’s comics” post on the ol’ site here in a while. By the time I get around to some of these comics, it’s more like “last month’s comics.” Which, granted, on Monday I did talk about a comic from a few decades ago, but, y’know, that’s different.

Despite all that, I have been trying to keep up with some comics…I’m current on all the Superman books, for example, and I’ve been reading the Detective issues leading up to #1000, and all the Hellboy stuff (though I think I’mm getting lost on some of the ongoing plot details again…I mean, I just reread ’em all back in 2013, guess it’s time for another go), and some others. And there are those I let stack up a bit before plowing through a bunch in a row (oh hello Flash).

But one comic I definitely kept up with was Mage: The Hero Denied (as you may have guessed I was leading up to, as per the image above), which would be the first on the stack to read every time a new one was unleashed over the last purt’near two years. Just when I got used to having a new one every few weeks, it’s gone again.

And even though it does come to a conclusion, I know I’m going to keep expecting a follow-up series in a decade or so. As I neared the end of this final issue, I kept expecting, I don’t know, something that stood out as a hint at more Kevin Matchstick adventures in our future. There’s a bit a dialogue that suggests, hey, maybe, but I’m pretty sure we’re done with Mage comics. BUT I’M STILL GONNA HOPE GOSH DARN IT.

So is it a satisfying conclusion? I think so…pretty much everything’s tied up, a plot point from earlier in the seies I kept waiting to come back to the forefront finally does, and all questions are answered about as much as you can expect them to be. And yes, there’s a fold-out. Wouldn’t be the last issue of a Mage series without one.

It’s hard to believe…I was going to say “hard to believe it’s over,” but it’s more than that. When I read the first Mage series, I was in high school. When the second Mage came out, I was managing someone else’s comic book store. This third Mage came out when I owned my own comic book store. I think it’s more like “I can’t believe something that was released and periodically returned during distinct phases of my life over a period of decades continued in a consistent and enjoyable manner and came to a conclusion on its own terms.” Not pithy, but it’ll do.

Okay, in fairness, I haven’t read this yet, but man oh man look at that cover by Michael Cho. That’s pretty swell. Even so, it was a hard choice to make as to which cover I wanted, since the “regular” cover was all Mister Mind-riffic:

I love the fact that the “serious” versions of Mister Mind DC cooks up still evoke the original design:

As to the series itself…it’s fine. Cap’s creator C.C. Beck would hate it (he hated pretty much all modern comics except Axa), but as far as current superhero comics go, it’s fun enough, and I liked the ongoing thing about Billy trying to come up with a superhero name for himself that isn’t just “Shazam” — a feeling I relate to since I really don’t like that’s what the character’s called now, as perhaps I’ve mentioned only about a hundred times on this site already.

But still…just look at that cover.

* Also, Flash came out this week…he’s got a lightning bolt on his chest, too. And there’s probably somebody else I’m forgetting. Look, there are lots of superheroes, I can’t remember them all.

Not from Grant Morrison’s The Filth.

February 25, 2019 filed under popeye 5 Comments

This is a hell of a thing to find as a back-up story in Popeye #108 (June 1971), especially it being the anniversary issue an’ all:

I feel like the funny animal potential for whales hasn’t been fully exploited. I mean, sure, there’s this, and I’m probably not remembering comic strip characters and such. But I think we can agree “whales” are far behind “dogs,” “cats” and probably “anteaters” in the Humorous Representation of Animals catalog.

And just to confirm, yes, I’m pretty sure those are supposed to be whales. Just look at this:

WHALE ANATOMY: 100% NAILED

And the expletive of choice was “Shazbot.”

February 22, 2019February 22, 2019 filed under question time 6 Comments

Well, you know what, I’m so close to the end of the questions here that I’m just gonna go ahead and wrap things up. I’ve kept you nice folks who asked them waiting long enough!

Tom Cherry pits the following against me

“If NANCY ever crossed over with PEANUTS, do you think Sluggo and Pig Pen would be friends?”

I feel like Pig Pen would be one the regular walk-on weirdos that Nancy and Sluggo would be all “whoa, check this oddball out!” for a one-strip gag and that would be it. There wouldn’t be any animosity as such, but probably not someone Sluggo could connect with.

In fact, I’m having a hard time picturing any Peanuts character comfortably fitting into the Nancyverse. They’d all be annoying creatures to N&S. I mean, maybe Peppermint Patty…I could see Sluggo having something of a crush on her, while Nancy is totally put off by how pushy she is. …HOLD ON, LET ME GET MY FANFIC WRITIN’ PEN

• • •

@misterjayem spells out the following

“Will either of the Big Two ever again have continuity that stretches all the way back to 10 years ago?”

Well, here and there DC and Marvel make references to things that happened in the Long Ago Times of, like, 2002, or whatever, but I think the cohesive shared world continuity thing with a long history is a relic of the past. I feel like this is something they’re trying to do with Doomsday Clock, and restoring that sense of a lengthy continuity, but who knows if this will work any better than anything else?

Probably the best strategy, and probably the one that’s primarily being followed, is “we’ll access continuity and history when we need it,” and just otherwise do their own things without worrying about it. I mean, if anything, I wish they’d worry less about maintaining a consistent “universe” — that’s how you get all this rebootery.

• • •
BRR chills me with

“As a purveyor of back issues, would you like to see more editor’s notes*? They seem to disappear as a more ‘cinematic’ story style took hold, and I remember those notes occasionally driving a search through the local stores’ long boxes to get the rest of the story.

“* e.g. ‘Way back in Avengers#28!!’-ed”

Sure I would! Even more than just for storytelling clarity and sending people to my extensive back issue stock availble now at Sterling Silver Comics, located in the heart of beautiful Camarillo in Southern California, but for the connection between the creators/editors and the audience. Those editor notes made it seem like pals were sharing a cool story with you, that you were in a fun club where you got to enjoy these adventures with other like-minded people. The letters pages added to that feeling as well…when you bought a comic, you weren’t just buying that month’s tale of Spider-Man, but you were getting a piece of the real world community that built around reading that comic.

I might be romanticizing this a tad, but those little touches went a long way to making someone feel welcome in the worlds you were presented in these weird little booklets.

• • •

Robcat steals my heart, and my cat, with

“Ok, question. As a shop owner and collector and a guy who spends A LOT of time around comics, have you ever lost a substantial amount of money by accidentally damaging an issue of something yourself? Spilled coffee on Amazing Fantasy 15, opened a package containing Journey Into Mystery 83 and ripped the cover, that sort of thing? Not to wish you ill will or anything…”

Can’t say I’ve really done anything like that with comics, as such. I’ve had some close calls…just last week, when I was breaking down the new comics, I had pulled a water bottle out of the fridge that I hadn’t realized had been in there maybe a little too long, and when I opened it, the partially frozen state of it causes water to kinda explode out of it, just barely missing the stacks of new comics and the boxes of customer pulls I had out. That could have been a disaster of epic proportions.

Oh, and there was that time, early in my comics retail career nearly 30 years ago, when we were moving from the old store to a larger location across the street, that I accidentally dropped a short box filled with Golden Age books, spilling them all over the pavement. Thankfully, they way they slid out of the box kept them from experiencing harm, but still, nobody tell Ralph I did that.

The worst thing I did, also at the previous place of employment, that resulted in actual damage, was when I was moving some boxes or something around, and somehow forgot there was a big, fancy ceramic Spider-Man statue (one that also included, like, three or four villains of his) just out of my sight. Yup, ended up knocking it to the floor and smashing it to pieces. I felt the bump, heard the crash, froze, and softly uttered your favorite expletive of choice. As it turned out, the statue was basically given to us for free by someone just clearing their house of stuff, back before Marie Kondo made it cool, so no actual expense was lost. We lost the money would could have gained from selling the thing, but, well, at least nobody was mad. Your pal Mike got off scot-free that time.

Anyway, that’s all the stuff I’ll own up to. I have no idea how those boxes of Marvel Comics Presents caught on fire, and besides, you can’t prove anything, there were no witnesses.

• • •
And that’s it! Finally, all the questions are answered! Thanks for contributing, everyone, and I’ll probably open the floor to more questions soon. Or you can just ask me whenever you’d like…we’re pretty casual around here.

If you register that domain name, please use it for good, not evil.

February 20, 2019February 20, 2019 filed under question time 6 Comments

I bet you thought I forgot! You folks still have some questions I need to answer, so let me knock a couple out before this new medicine I’m taking knocks me out:

William Burns fires me up with

“Are all these monster mega digital comics sales making it harder for you to sell trade paperbacks?”

I’ve got to be real honest here…I haven’t the foggiest. I’m sure there must be some diverting of monies from physical copies in my shop (well, everyone’s shops) to digital alternatives. I mean, it’s not like folks stick their heads in the door, announce “I’m not buying the Unicycle Tragedy: The First Decade trade paperback from you because I’m getting all the issues for eight cents each on UpYoursSmallBusinessOwners.com,” then rush off into the darkness, laughing. Well, okay, there’s that one guy back at the old shop who came in on New Comics Day, looked around, and loudly asked the room “where I can download all these for free?” but maybe that’s not quite the same.

So…yeah, I can’t really say. I know a lot of my customers use the digital codes in their comics to supplement their reading, but they’re still coming in and buying comics. I’m sure I’ve lost customers over the years who decided that they preferred to just get everything digitally for shopping and storage convenience, I’m also sure there are plenty of folks who just get all their goodies online, period, and never thought about going to a store…do they count as lost sales, or are those sales that would never have happened in the first place, from people who never would have considered buying a comic save for being able to click a button and suddenly have it available on their devices?

That’s a lot of words for “I don’t know,” I realize. I hope I haven’t suffered too much attrition of this sort, and can only hope I continue keeping the customers I do have happy and freshly replenished with actual printed-on-paper comics on a regular basis.

• • •

David has this goliath of a question

“Realizing that Progressive Ruin is pretty much a one-stop shop for all the comics info I need, I do still like poking around the web reading other sites. Do you have any favorite websites for comics news/reviews/reporting? It seems so bleak out there.”

I’m glad I’m keeping you up on all the early 1990s crash-era news that you can use, David! But as far as other comic news sites…I don’t really have a particular one that I regularly look at. Comics Reporter is probably the best for the most wide-ranging of comics news from all parts of the industry, and…well, I’m sure you’re aware of all the more mainstream-y sites for comic news about The Big Guys, though at some places you have to sort of pick it out from amongst the movie/TV news and listicles.

Your best bet may be a curated social media feed…like, following the Twitter accounts of companies and creators that you want to keep tabs on, or Instagrams, or the nightmare realm of Facebook, and so on. Generating your own news site may be the way to go.

• • •

Chris Gumprich spends his question on

“If you could bring back one cancelled title that did NOT start a muck-encrusted mockery of a man, what would it be and why?”

Hoo boy, not even sure where I would start. I was thinking ‘Mazing Man but feel like that’s so much of Its Time that bringing it back would just feel weird. Maybe leaving it as the short-run 1980s book that it was, keeping it a special thing that was here and gone and didn’t wear out its welcome, would be the best.

So I’m going with Atari Force, which had a terrible name but was an amazing comic. Imaginative and beautifully illustrated, and I was really bummed when it got canned. I think some of the characters (like Martin Champion) are straight up owned by Atari (or whoever owns the Atari IP now) so I don’t think DC could bring it back as, I don’t know, Syzygy Force or something and continue their adventures. But it would be nice!

“(That counts as one question because I only used one question mark.)”

YOU NE’ER-DO-WELL

* * *
AN ADDENDUM TO THE RECENT END OF CIVILIZATION POST: I’ve been informed by Matt from Moment of Cerebus that there is in fact a House of Cerebus comic coming in early 2020! You can see the schedule here. …You know, I did see that list at some point recently…guess I missed that title or (more likely) I just forgot! Well, I look forward to seeing House of Cerebus, and totally hope it’s the parody of #92 I’ve been waiting for!

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

February 20, 2019February 18, 2019 filed under End of Civilization 8 Comments

GREAT SCOTT! It’s the End of Civilization, Marty! Hope into this DeLorean and we’ll travel back to February 2019 to try to stop it! We’ll use this copy of that month’s Diamond Previews that we found in a future comic book store/tattoo removal parlor to guide us along:

p. 50 – Little Girls TP:

Alas, no members of Oingo Boingo got back in time with any pull quotes for the cover.

p. 90 – Spawn #296:

Only four more issues to go before we can ratchet up the surprise from people shocked that Spawn is still coming out by adding on “yes, for over 300 issues now!”

p. 123 – Berserk Deluxe Edition Volume 2:

“Volume 2?” Oh, you mean Frenzy.

p. 132 – Star Trek Year 5 #1:

Revealing the tragic fates of Arex and M’Ress, which is why they don’t, like, help save the whales or search for Spock or anything.

p. 152 – TMNT Shredder in Hell #1 Director’s Cut:

Oh good, hopefully they’ll be restoring the scenes where he meets both Hellboy and Godzilla in hell.

p. 232 – Giant Super-Cerebus Annual #1:

C’mon, Dave, do these just long enough so that you eventually do a cover parody of House of Secrets #92. Look, “House of Cerebus,” I’ll let you have that for free. EDIT: Whoops! Dave beat me to it!

p. 291 – Star Wars Leia Organa Rebel Leader in a Box:

I had a joke for this but I’m holding it back because 1) I’m keeping people from um, actually-ing me with “Carrie was cremated,” and 2) a rare bit of taste.

p. 296 – The Worst Book Ever HC:

That’s a weird trade dress for the Purgatori collection.

p. M17 – Bruce Lee Minimates Series 1 Box Set:

“The many looks of Bruce Lee are on display here, as his Dojo, Clawed, Casual, and Completely Nude looks make up the four-pack.”

p. M117 – DC Heroes 5.5oz Scented Candle Tins:

You can light up the Harley Quinn candle to disguise that smell when you’re reading this comic:

p. M118 – DC Comics Batman Bat-Signal Kitchen Timer:

Surely some kind of Clock King timer would have been more fitting.

p. M118 – DC Heroes Batman Bat-Symbol Apron:

The Batman ’66 version of this apron just has a big “KISS!” sound effect printed on it.

Marvel Previews p. 100 – Star Wars Age of Rebellion Grand Moff Tarkin #1:

Here’s hoping Tarkin is a weird 3D CGI rendering in the comic while everything else is traditionally illustrated.