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…I just do:

from Feature Presentations #6 (June 1950)

“The sharks! AGGGHHH!!!” That just says it all, doesn’t it?

…with his SPACE AXE.

Mankind Under the Leash by Thomas M. Disch/Planet of Exile by Ursula K. LeGuin
Ace Double Novel (1966) – illustration by Kelly Freas

I mean, honestly, look at the size of that firecracker. They’ll be picking bits of Porky out of the landscape for ages.

And I know I’ve discussed this before, but I really don’t get the weird nudity taboos at work in the Looney Tuniverse:

Does Porky’s lower half hold any mysteries at this point? Well, okay, maybe, but keep them to yourself, fella.

Speaking of which…say, where does Bugs plan on putting that finger?

That bandage must be from where he missed the first time.

And there you go…a little funny animal anal probing humor to brighten your Sunday. No need to thank me.

Images mooched from the Grand Comic Book Database, your one-stop shop for vital info about your favorite funnybooks, and an important resource for those folks who, perhaps, may have forgotten to scan a comic or two they recently got in their stores for use on their weblogs.

It’s high tech versus the criminal mind in Mr. District Attorney #40 (July/August 1954), and Mr. D.A. faces arsonists and murders and the skepticism of the people holding the purse strings…

…in a story they had to call:

Following a suspicious fire, Mr. District Attorney and his associate Harrington investigate a suspect, sending a photo and his fingerprints to Washington via air mail to check with the FBI’s criminal records. However, the suspect posts bail and leaves Mr. D.A.’s custody.

The next day, a reply is received from Washington, but:

At the demonstration, Mr. D.A. runs the Fastphoto system past the mayor:

…who isn’t having any of that newfangled technology, no sir:

Shortly thereafter, a suspect in a robbery is brought in, and Mr. D.A. feels he looks familiar…in fact, that he might be wanted for murder. Again, he has photos and fingerprints air-mailed to Washington, and again, the suspect is unable to be held overnight until a reply is received.

However, Mr. D.A. has a plan…mooching off of someone else’s Fastphoto system:

Harrington’s crap car conks out on him, but after having two gals on horseback tow his car to town (no, really…ropes are tied from the horses to the bumper), he makes it to the Hawthorne police station:

Lieutenant Condescending and Captain Explainypants let Harrington in on the magical workings of the mysterious electronic box:

And exactly nine minutes, 34 sec…oh, wait, it says that in the caption:

And just as the suspect was about to be set free, due to lack of sufficient evidence and whatnot, Harrington phones Mr. D.A.’s office to let him know they got the goods on this nogoodnik.

Harrington’s all ready to spend that reward money:

…And, again, the mayor cheaps out on Mr. D.A.:

But Harrington comes through in the end:

…most likely because Harrington wants to sit on the Fastphoto machine and send pics of his butt to those condescending bastards over in Hawthorne City. You totally know he’s going to.

And, hey, they never did catch that arsonist.

For more Mr. District Attorney, pal Dorian posted a couple choice covers, with commentary, quite a while back.

I’ve dipped into the Comic Cavalcade #59 (Oct/Nov 1953) ads thing before, but here are a couple other ads of note from that publication:

I only wish DC had taken that “Superman’s newest animal friend” blurb literally. “Okay, I’ll take Lex Luthor…Peter Panda, it’s up to you to stop Brainiac!” “Whatever you say, Big Blue!”

And here’s another ad of sorts, featuring a listing of DC’s line-up at the time:

Dig that variety of books…lots of licensing/media tie-ins, funny animal books, adventure books and war books. And, oh yeah, a few of those quaint superhero books too…that last handful of survivors from the superhero fad’s boom and bust in the 1940s.

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In other news:

• Say, you may be starting to do some Christmas shopping just about now. (And if you’ve already finished…don’t take it personally, but I hate you.) If, perchance, you’re gonna do some shopping via the Amazon.com, please feel free to use that Amazon search box in my sidebar. Everything you buy through there, I get a tiny piece of the action…and believe you me, every bit helps.
• Speaking of “Black Friday,” I’m curious as to how we’re going to do at the shop today. It used to be that shoppers would hit the malls and department stores first, then work their way out to the small mom ‘n’ pop shops later in the afternoon. However, the last couple of Thanksgiving weekends, the initial rush seemed to stay at the malls and department stores all day, leaving their small store shopping ’til later in December. Even our special sales and promotions on Black Friday didn’t seem to pull folks in. ‘Course, that may be just our particular situation…we’re not exactly located in the middle of a high-traffic major commercial center, after all.

  Ah, well…such is the way of small business. We do have more gift-y type shops immediately surrounding us now that we didn’t have before, so hopefully the Christmas crowds will have more reason to make it out in our direction.

• “[Atlanta] Hawks undergo extreme uniform makeover”
  

  “One of the individuals responsible for the design is Matty Ryan, a former Marvel comic book (yes, comic book) artist. ‘Red and blue is a very strong color scheme,’ Ryan says. ‘A lot of comic book characters are red and blue — Spider-Man, Superman. They’re two of your primary colors, and they’re also very strong colors. Red is associated with fire and intensity, and blue has a calming effect, so they play off each other.'”

• Bispectacult has finally uploaded a new comics podcast for your enjoyment. Our former employee Kid Chris appears to have found gainful employment, and thus was unavailable to accompany Dafna in this installment, but new guy Dave makes a capable replacement. Why, I’ve forgotten about Kid Chris already.

Okay, usually I just let the crazy panels stand on their own, but you folks demanded some context, and context you shall get! So, here we go, straight from Li’L Abner #95 (Sept. 1954):

Li’l Abner’s favorite newspaper comic strip detective, the redoubtable Fearless Fosdick, discovers that a can of a popular brand of beans has been poisoned:

Fosdick has his own, unique, take on the problem:

And he quickly begins his citywide reign of protection:

‘Course, mistakes are made:

Eventually, to curtail Fosdick’s protective efforts, the police chief arranges to have Fosdick’s gun stolen. Undeterred, Fosdick finds alternative means of protecting the public:

…the result of which, you can now see, was presented in those panels I posted yesterday morning.

Anyway, eventually, Fosdick accidentally “protects” a fellow law enforcer, and finds himself arrested and facing capital punishment (“This was the fastest trial in the history of the state!! – Twenty-five minutes after Fosdick was captured, he was sentenced to death!!” shouts a newscaster). He receives beans for his last meal, and of course:

But don’t worry…everything will be back to normal for the next strip:

Li’l Abner, who’d been breathlessly following Fosdick throughout this adventure, is relieved:

Also, during the course of this story, Daisy Mae dropped this bit of wisdom:

Oh, not nearly enough, Daisy Mae…not nearly enough.

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In other news:

• Be sure to refresh your browser to see the swell Thanksgiving logo banner donated by one of this site’s readers. Appetizing, no? (EDIT: I just left the banner up for the day, but you can still see it here.)
• Via Laura is this homebrewed Dr. Who comic strip The Ten Doctors, already at 60-something pages. I’m not a big fanfic guy, usually…however, I’m a few pages into this strip and it’s managed to keep my attention so far. The light cartoony style and the caricatures of the various Doctors are quite appealing.
• A trio of stories I just Googled up, here: rumored bonus material for the eventual Watchmen movie DVD; a Variety article on screenwriters doing comic book work during the strike (seeing “comicbook” as one word annoys me…am I alone in this?); and an interview with Steve Purcell about his comic book characters/video game stars Sam and Max, Freelance Police. I love that little rabbity-thing Sam…I mean, Max.
• I hope everyone out there has a happy Thanksgiving, where applicable. Everyone else…have a nice Thursday, regardless.

DON’T BUY BEANS.

DON’T BUY BEANS WITH A FRIEND.

The top of Combo Man’s head is super-strong:

Combos Snacks/Marvel Comics promo card (1996)

To be fair, that’s where you’d probably want super-strength, to protect the ol’ gray matter.

But the poor bastard’s knees are constantly on fire, and that can’t be fun.

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Pal Ian deals out some choice screencaps from last Sunday’s Simpsons episode, which featured guest-appearances from Alan Moore, Dan Clowes, and Art Spiegleman.

And as long as you’re visiting pal Ian’s site, also check out the Scott Pilgrim sketch he somehow managed to get from Kevin O’Neill. YOU’RE CROSSING THE STREAMS, IAN.

Please enjoy a brief sample of why Herbie comics are better than any other comics you will ever read, ever:

from Forbidden Worlds #114 (Sept. 1963) by Richard Hughes & Ogden Whitney

Herbie pulls it out and slaps JFK in the face with it, makes Jackie sigh like a schoolgirl, and flies off on a giant freakin’ bird.

I’d like to see Wolverine pull any of that off.

Well, not really commands, as such, but I like Nat, and want to encourage his particular brand of behavior.

Behavior that brings us stuff like this. BEHOLD:

Many Happy Returns features, as the title might suggest, the return of ’80s indie classics Crossfire by Mark Evanier and Dan Spiegle, and Journey by William Messner-Loebs, in all-new eight-page stories. And there are new Licensable Bear™ strips as well, along with a yet-to-be-announced fourth feature. You can read more about at About Comics’ site.

Speaking of Licensable Bear™, there’s a new short instructional video from Mr. Bear™ that’ll only take about 45 seconds out of your life. Go ahead, watch…what, will it kill you?