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Gleaming the cube.

§ February 12th, 2020 § Filed under gelatinous cube § 4 Comments

Okay, so I don’t have my Nancy and Sluggo Pops yet, but this release may mollify me somewhat:

Hokey smokes it’s a Gelatinous Cube Pop, apparently a convention exclusive but perhaps available at select retailers, says the linked article. Well, they darn well better select me, America’s Most Beloved Fan of Gelatinous Cube-Related Stuff.

Anyway, that’s pretty wild, but what I’m most astonished by is the fact that the possibility of this actually being A Thing never occurred to me. Particularly after having a Mind Flayer Pop come into the store. And I just checked…there doesn’t seem to be a Beholder Pop either…not even the Beholder knock-off from Big Trouble in Little China.

Not that I need any more tchotchkes in the house. Pop-wise, I have the various Swamp Things, and Popeye, and recently took home a Galactus. That should be plenty, but I’d definitely make room for a Gelatinous Cube. …And a Nancy and/or Sluggo, of course. I mean, honestly, what’s the hold up? Are they tied up by other licensing agreements? C’MON ALREADY


§ November 13th, 2019 § Filed under gelatinous cube, legion of super-heroes, retailing § 10 Comments

“So what’s the deal with this ring?” asked the customer, gesturing at the little pile of plastic Legion of Super-Heroes rings I had laid out on the counter, a promotional giveaway for the new Legion series that debuted last week. “Are they for Aquaman?”

Um, Aquaman? How do you get “Aquaman” from a ring that very clearly has an “L” on it? I didn’t say that to the customer, but I did let him know what the rings were actually for, and that seemed to satisfy him.

What struck me, though, is that he knew enough about comics to mention to the people he was with that the Flash used to have a ring in which he would keep his super-compressed costume. But he didn’t know enough about the Legion to be able to identify one of the flight rings, which is a fairly integral element of the series. …Which is fine, of course, just because you like superhero comics doesn’t mean you have to know Every. Single. Detail. of each and every one.

But he wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what the flight ring was. I had a number of people certainly identify what it was supposed to be, but had just as many other folks, comic reading folks, coming-in-every-Wednesday-for-the-new-goodies customers, who did not know what that ring was supposed to represent.

There was once a time when Legion fandom was a thing…like, it was one of the franchise’s defining elements was its active, involved fanbase. And that fanbase eroded over the years for various reasons (discussed both by me and pal Andrew a while back) to the point where DC no longer found it profitable to even attempt at keeping an ongoing Legion book on the stands for the last several years.

Of course, that absence has changed now, with DC’s much-ballyhooed Legion relaunch last week (preceded by an entertaining two-part mini bridging the current DC Universe to the Legion’s future), brought about by DC’s equally-ballyhooed acquiring of one of Marvel’s Big Name comic writers Brian Michael Bendis. Whether that rebuilding of what was once the formidable Legion Fandom will follow is…well, okay, it won’t, it’s a different time, and the natural, organic evolution of that fandom over years and decades isn’t suddenly going to repeat itself with the latest revival, however long it manages to last without yet another reboot.

I remember the last time DC Comics provided plastic Legion ring giveaways to tie into some new Legion thing or ‘nother, it seemed like everyone was in on it. They all knew the Legion, knew what the flight ring was and what it represented, and so on…but then, Legion was still an ongoing, if not entirely what it once was, concern at the time, a couple of decades back. Now…after being basically gone, or generally off the average comic fan’s radar, for about a decade or even more, one can’t depend on a shared fan nostalgia that will remember some piece of a franchise that was dead, or might as well have been, when several of today’s fans first got into the comic collecting hoohar.

Now, the good news is that despite some of my customer base not recognizing the Legion ring, there is still enough of the rest of that base to have either recognized the Legion, or are new to it but have been intrigued enough by the advertising/guest-appearances, to pick up the book. In fact, it was a near sell-out for me, and I have a box of restocked copies heading my way…well, today, hopefully…and even then about half of those restocks are already spoken for. I haven’t even got one for myself yet, since I was saving copies for the shelf.

I spoke with a friend who has a comic shop a few hundred miles away and says he can’t give them away, so I guess Your Store’s Mileage Will Vary. I’ve experienced this before…even back in the ’90s, I was comparing notes with a retailer in L.A. and he was all like “you sell how many Legion!?” But I hope this series is an overall success (in whatever meets “success” levels in today’s diminished market)…I do like the Legion, and I would like to have a new comic of theirs I can read. It won’t be the same, with the characters all cut off from their long history that brought me to these comics in the first place, but I can still enjoy a good comic regardless. I mean, assuming it’s good.

Oh, and I figured out why that customer thought this was an Aquaman ring:

…because he probably saw one turned on its side. An easy enough mistake to make, I guess.

“My Beloved Gelatino” — coming soon to the CW.

§ April 27th, 2018 § Filed under gelatinous cube § 7 Comments

So my best pal, Bully the Little Bull with All the Stuffins, remembered my longtime fondness for the greatest of all Dungeons & Dragons monsters, the Gelatinous Cube, despite my not mentioning it much lately (but please enjoy this site category link). As a result, he tweeted this panel at me from the nigh-forthcoming mini-series You Are Deadpool, a “Choose-Your-Own-Adventure” style funnybook:

Said Gelatinous Cube reference fuzzily resized for your viewing convenience:

Now, what exactly a “+3” cube would be, I’m not sure, because the last time I played D&D, back in Ye Olden Tymes, a “+(x)” designation was more for weapons and items, not for living creatures. Perhaps Deadpool is being, as shocking as it may seem, less then accurate about D&D terms for humorous effect. HOW DARE HE JOKE ABOUT MY BELOVED GELATINO–er, anyway.

Thanks to Bully for keeping the Cube faith alive…and allowing me to resurrection this much-neglected category on my site!

Getting an early start on tomorrow’s EoC post, so today’s post is a bit short.

§ February 1st, 2012 § Filed under gelatinous cube, sir-links-a-lot § 3 Comments


  • So Greg, on the Twitter, pointed me in the direction of a couple of message board threads in which the Gelatinous Cube is discussed: first, it is wondered what a dead Cube would look like, and lo, it is revealed. Secondly, in another thread, the supposed origin of the Gelatinous Cube is dished out.
  • Bully, the Little Stuffed Bull, and his pal, Shelly the Little Otter Puppet, try out their new ping pong kit with adorably animated results. …Okay, not strictly speaking “comics,” but it’s awesome and you should go look anyway.
  • This week’s entry in pal Andrew’s ongoing Nobody’s Favorites is sure to honk off some of you. And I don’t use the phrase “honk off” lightly.
  • Also not comics, but pal Dorian is going to be doing in-depth looks at the work of novelist John Connolly every Monday, so if you like those mystery-type books, go check it out.

And now…the greatest Gelatinous Cube drawing of all time…

§ January 22nd, 2012 § Filed under gelatinous cube § 5 Comments

…courtesy reader Dave McK., who responded to my ages-old desire to have a Gelatinous Cube as a player-character in a D&D campaign with this drawing of a Gelatinous Cube as (in Dave’s words) a playa-character:

Once I have finished converting Progressive Ruin to a Gelatinous Cube fan-site, my job on your planet will be done and I can — at long last — return to my people.


§ January 19th, 2012 § Filed under gelatinous cube, pal plugging, sir-links-a-lot Comments Off on MY FIRST GELATINOUS CUBE POST FOR 2012.

So Bully, the Little Stuffed Bull Who Apparently Can Work an iPad with His Little Hooves, knowing of my particular obsession with the classic Dungeons & Dragons monster the Gelatinous Cube, sent along this screenshot from the iPad game Puzzle Quest 2:

Oh, you poor, misguided warrior. There is no defeating…the Gelatinous Cube.

In other news:

  • Speaking of Bully, I helped him out a bit with his “366 Days of Alfred Pennyworth” project.
  • If you remember this Sluggo Saturday (the one with the wholly-inappropriate Dolly Parton gag I made), the folks at Boing Boing present the strip in full, and come to sort of the same conclusion I had about what was going on there. (Thanks to pal Andres for letting me know about this!)
  • ~P~ at Sanctum Sanctorum wants you to put words in Dr. Strange’s mouth! (~P~’s example of what he’s kind of looking for is…slightly Not Safe for Work…but what are you doing goofing off at work and looking at comic book websites for anyway? Well, except for mine, of course.)
  • Not comics, but pal Dawn has written a book (FaeMaker: Making Fantasy Characters with Polymer Clay) and I thought I’d point that out to you folks. You might have seen her selling her wares at a San Diego Con or two, and she’s a swell gal…so please pick up her book if that sounds like something you’d be into!
  • Pal Dave whips out a long-awaited new installment of “This Used to Be The Future” with…The Secret Story of Ray-Gun 64!
  • As pal Dorian says: “Useful.”

Decided I needed to beef up the “Gelatinous Cube” category a bit.

§ November 30th, 2011 § Filed under gelatinous cube § 4 Comments

Just get your hands on card #577 from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 2nd Edition 1991 Trading Cards Set:

…and paste it into that big ol’ blank space next to the Gelatinous Cube entry in your first edition Monster Manual (provided you haven’t already supplied an illustration of your own), and you’re all set.

Yes, yes, I know that means crossing the 1st Edition/2nd Edition AD&D streams. Don’t you rules-lawyer me.

Here’s to you, former owner of this Monster Manual for first edition AD&D…

§ November 18th, 2011 § Filed under gelatinous cube § 15 Comments

…who felt that the lack of an accompanying image for the Gelatinous Cube entry was an omission that could not be overlooked:

Also appreciated: the clarification that the 2-8 hit point damage it can inflict is caused by “digestive fluids” and not by, say, the Cube hitting you with a polearm.


§ December 7th, 2010 § Filed under gelatinous cube, sir-links-a-lot, superman § 5 Comments

I’ve been so used to seeing the Kryptonian language represented by a special symbol typeface in Superman comics over the last few years that seeing a phonetic version of spoken Kryptonian is…well:

from Action Comics #489 (Nov 1978) by Cary Bates, Curt Swan & Frank Chiaramonte

…yeah. I suppose, once I have a spare decade and a complete collection of Superman comics, I can catalog the different ways Kryptonian has been represented over the years. Then I can finally fulfill my dream of opening a Kryptonian language camp for underprivileged children, and we can compete with the Klingon language camp across the lake…but perhaps I’ve said too much.
• • •

In other news:

I’m a difficult person to work with.

§ November 19th, 2010 § Filed under employee aaron, gelatinous cube § 15 Comments

Mike: “I understand this new Dungeons & Dragons comic is actually supposed to be pretty good.”

Employee Aaron: “Yeah, it really was.”

M: “So are there any gelatinous cubes?”

EA: “Sorry, Mike, but no.”

M: “How ’bout displacer beasts? At least one?”

EA: “Not one.”

M: “Okay, fine…mind flayers?”

EA: “No.”

M: “Beholders. There has to be a Beholder in this comic.”

EA: “There sure isn’t.”

M: “This is a Dungeons & Dragons comic, right?”

EA: “Right.”

M: “Just checking. Is there any point where a character has to save vs. petrification?”

EA: “What? No, of course not.”

M: “Are there any instances of a gnome using his infravision?”

EA: “None noted.”

M: “Are there any bards?”

EA: “Are there ever any bards?”

M: “Point taken. …Does anyone detect traps?”

EA: “Nope.”

M: “Does a magic user gather material components in order to cast Magic Mouth?”

EA: “Not that I noticed.”

M: “Does a thief manage to do quadruple damage on anyone using a sneak backstab attack?”

EA: “Not once, no.”

M: “Does anyone, at any time, use a ten foot pole?”

EA: “No.”

M: “Are there any morale checks made to see if a character’s followers desert or not?”

EA: “…What?”

M: “Are any limbs severed as the result of rolling a natural 20 during a sword attack?”

EA: “How would that even work in a comic?”

M: “So does a character tell another character ‘I do not want to be in an adventuring party with you, as I am Lawful Good, and you are Neutral Evil?'”

EA: “That’s not something that happens, no.”

M: “Does anyone put on a cursed ring and suddenly exclaim ‘oh no, I have suffered an irreversible loss of three points of Constitution?'”

EA: “I can safely say this didn’t happen.”

M: “Is there any kind of kobold attack?”

EA: “No….”

M: “Does anyone shout to his comrades ‘this creature can only use his ranged attack once every five rounds — let’s go!’ at any time during a battle?”

EA: “No.”

M: “Does any character have his or her soul cast into The Void as a result of drawing from a Deck of Many Things?”

EA: “Uh-uh.”

M: “This is going nowhere. Let’s go back to the basics. …Is there a dungeon in this comic?”

EA: “Yes!”

M: “Now we’re onto something. Is there a dragon?”

EA: “Well, not exactly.”

M: “Oh, so there’s, like, a wyvern.”

EA: “No, no…there’s a dragonkin in the story. Well, maybe, he kind of looks like one…sorta dragony.”

M: “A dragonkin. What’s that?”

EA: “A half-human/half-dragon. You can play as one in D&D.”

M: “No, I’m sorry, no player-character monsters in my campaign.”

EA: “Now, Mike, a couple of these things you’re asking about were in the #0 issue.”

M: “I’m going to need all of these things in every issue.”

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