BREAKING GELATINOUS CUBE NEWS!

§ July 22nd, 2022 § Filed under gelatinous cube § 7 Comments

The big news is that the trailer for the new Dungeons and Dragons movie, Honor Among Thieves, has been unleashed:

Slightly bigger news: it actually looks like it’ll be pretty good.

But the biggest news of all:


GELATINOUS CUBE CAMEO. Over there, on the right, suckin’ that guy into its…belly? Let’s say belly.

As you may know from my previous posts on the subject, I do loves me some gelatinous cubin’, so I was tickled translucent when pals Jason and Dave confirmed for me that a Cube does indeed make its glorious appearance.

Now granted, it’s been a while since I’ve played D&D with, you know, other people. Like, not since “before 2nd Edition” times, back when I played with some of the neighborhood kids ’til another neighbor played a tape of some religious radio show about how D&D and other fantasy games were “evil” and scared them all off. Once I had a Macintosh computer some years later, I enjoyed playing some of the licensed D&D games there, but even that was, what, 25, 30 years ago?

What I’m saying is, it’s been a while, so I don’t recall if Gelatinous Cubes are only found sweeping up debris, critters, treasure and adventurers in dungeon corridors. Seeing it just out in the open like this doesn’t seem…right, though given this scene is in an arena setting I’m guessing it was brought out there for the purpose of…being in the right place for that dude to just slide right into it. Anyway, that brings up the question of how one would forcibly move a Gelatinous Cube out of a dungeon. Perhaps using some kind of giant gelatin mold tray, I suppose.

Anyway, cool. And Twitter pal Daniel pointed out there is a tie-in Cube toy for this film.

“6-INCH SCALE GELATINOUS CUBE: Pose a 6-inch action figure within your Gelatinous Cube collectible figure and imagine the heroes of D&D stuck inside. Figures sold separately. Subject to availability.

“14 SNAP-IN ACCESSORIES & “INVISIBLE” STAND: D&D dice are the D&D accessories of choice for boring humans, but this Gelatinous Cube comes with accessories & stand for prodigious posing possibilities.”

Amazing. I mean, I don’t have any other Dungeons and Dragons figures so I’m just going to have to imagine multiple iterations of Swamp Thing stuck inside instead.

The order page also asks

“IS IT A GOOD D&D GIFT FOR BOYS, MEN, GIRLS, WOMEN, AND ALSO EVERYONE?”

And the answer is “yes, yes of course it is, you dummies, everyone loves the Gelatinous Cube.” If this doesn’t become the best-selling toy in history, I’m going to be very disappointed.

7 Responses to “BREAKING GELATINOUS CUBE NEWS!”

  • philfromgermany says:

    I watched the previous two… Cautiously otpimistic. :)

    Where do you stand on
    Black Pudding,
    Gray Ooze and
    Yellow Mold, Mike?

  • Thom H. says:

    I’ve never played D&D, but are those guys jumping *into* a Gelatinous Cube? That’s inadvisable, right?

  • Mikester says:

    philfromgermany – I wouldn’t stand on any of those, that’s a good way to lose hit points!

    Thom – I don’t think he was jumping in there on purpose, but we’ll find out eventually!

  • Will RICHARDS says:

    Too funny! Made me splurt my coffee!

  • Matthew says:

    There’s also a Gelatinous Cube Funko Pop.

  • Snark Shark says:

    30 bucks for that??

    I feel better about paying a similar price for a deluxe Deadpool figure now.

    Mike Sterling : “Well, got to paw through a copy of AMAZING FANTASY #15 for a few minutes, been a while since I’ve been able to do that.”

    OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

  • Snark Shark says:

    Honestly, the toy version is TOO much Cube, and not enough Gelatinous.

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