Mikester

Yes, this is where those "Things Not to Say…" posts in the sidebar came from.

filed under Categories wood eye 1 Comment

[EDIT: Ignore the “sidebar” comment in the title, there…those links vanished when I revamped the site a few years ago. You can find them here: 1 2 3.]

Straight outta 1996, it’s a mini-comic by me! Please pardon the lettering:

NOTES:

1. Isn’t that a nice paper color? “Salmon” brings out the art, don’t you think?

2. Yes, the name of our mini-comics publishing concern was “Full Frontal Harvey,” named after an overheard comment by some MTV host or ‘nother about Harvey Keitel’s performance in Bad Lieutenant.

3. I have heard every one of these.

4. The “I’m very disappointed” lady was looking for an issue of Stray Toasters we didn’t happen to have at the time, and I can still hear the particular tone of voice she used when she said that, and it still grates. ARGH.

5. Seriously, I don’t know what’s up with what I was putting on the shirts. Except for the “Democracy” t-shirt, which was the name of pal Cully’s punk band.

6. My favorite panel in this comic is the “do you sell comics” one…I swear to God, that’s where the kid was standing when he asked me that. Also: Swamp Thing cameo!

7. None of the people in these drawings are meant to look like any specific customer…except the “I’m very disappointed” lady, who looked pretty much just like that. GAH, that was annoying.

8. The “how much is this comic” panel shared the page with the copyright information, and where to mail your buck and a half for the latest issue of Wood-Eye…and featured my worst lettering ever, so I’m sparing you the horror.

Don’t worry, it’s not another linkblogging post.

filed under Categories retailing, watchmen

While breaking down the comic shipment Wednesday morning, prior to opening:

New Employee Tim: “Another Wolverine one-shot? This makes me want to punch Marvel.”

Employee Aaron: “How long have you worked here, and you already want to punch Marvel?”

Me: “Yeah, seriously…what took you so long?”

Also, we finally received an order of Watchmen trade paperbacks…not the order Diamond lost on us last week, but a second order I placed a few days after that initial doomed order, prior to DC runnin’ out of copies.

Guess what trade paperback we didn’t sell a single copy of on Wednesday? After weeks of people coming in and demanding it?

I think we’ll sell through on them by the weekend, but still, just a little annoying.

At least, I’m assuming we didn’t sell any Wednesday, as I was still feeling under the weather and left the shop early. I decided that morning that after I pulled the comic savers, did the mail order, did some reordering, and took care of some other business I had to take care of at the shop, I was going to leave early and let Employees Tim and Aaron handle the rest of the day.

I managed to leave 45 minutes before closing. Ah, well.

Other new comic day notes:

  • Okay, it’s not a new comic, but we reordered the All Star Batman and Robin hardcover a few weeks ago, and in the shipment it was originally supposed to arrive in, it didn’t. We called it in as a shortage, and replacements were on the invoice as coming in this week…and they didn’t arrive again. It’s some kind of cosmic irony that the comic store managed by the one man on the planet who unashamedly loves All Star Batman can’t get the hardcover back in stock. DARN YOU, WHOEVER’S IN CHARGE OF COSMIC IRONY!
  • Other reorder frustration: the Walking Dead volume 1 softcover has been unavailable from Diamond for about three months now, more or less. Kinda makes it hard to sell volumes 2 through 8 to new readers who might be interested in it. Yes, there is a hardcover that includes the comics from volumes 1 and 2, but a $9.95 paperback is easier to sell to someone just trying it out, as opposed to a thirty buck hardcover. Here’s hoping it’s back in print soon.
  • Army @ Love: The Art of War #1 – the “second season” of Rick Veitch’s war satire looks as if it might quite possibly be even weirder than the initial series. And it has what may be the greatest expository reintroduction to a returning series’ characters and premise yet. Also, our store sold out right away, so a-reorderin’ I will go.
  • Seeing Crossed #0 on the invoice listed as “#0 (of 9)” makes me want to hit somebody. Not unique to Crossed, I know, but still, it just sticks in my craw. It’s more hyperviolent zombie-esque shenanigans, from the looks of things, but, hey, this #0 is only a buck, it’s by Garth Ennis, and…Good Lord, does Jacen Burrows draw everything for Avatar? Does he ever sleep?
  • While I adore Final Crisis, the “director’s cut” version of #1 is…well, if you want to see the black and white linework for the entire issue, then you may get more out of the first part of the book. The interview and script make for interesting reading, but, like I said about the Final Crisis sketchbook, this sort of material may be better off being released after the project is over, when the comic can be discussed without playing coy with spoilers.

    As for Final Crisis #3…man, so densely-packed, so full of good stuff. It’s nuts, and I love it.

  • Thanks to Employee Aaron, I now think of Echo as “the comic about the girl with super-boobs.” Unfair? Yeah, probably. But hey, at least there’s no poetry like in the guy’s previous comic. Yet.
  • More Disney comics, finally. Wish they didn’t put out their two regular “monthly” comics ($7.99 each) and a Vacation Special ($9.95!) all out in the same week…but at least they’re out, and beggars can’t be choosers, I suppose.

    I know it wasn’t as long as a break between issues as Gemstone’s publishing unpleasantness from last year, but it still had some of our Disney customers getting a little testy.

  • Did you read that FX comic from IDW (last issue on sale now)? If so…why? I’m honestly not being snarky, here…what was it about FX that made you keep reading it? Is it just fans of that particular artist supporting the book?
  • Jonah Hex #34 – I liked the story, about Jonah’s difficulty in leaving his old life behind…but depending on who’s drawing Jonah’s scarred face, I have a very hard time believing that Hex doesn’t just cut that damned tiny flap of skin off his mouth. It’s such a piddling little strand in this issue…it gets to be distracting how nonsensical it is that it’d still be there.

    So, “minor nitpick of the month?” Maybe so. I remember seeing someone out there suggest that elements of Two-Face’s scarring from the Dark Knight movie would be a better way of portraying Hex’s injury.

  • Hulk #5 – I shouldn’t like this comic as much as I do. It’s big, loud, and stupid, and takes like two minutes to read…but it’s an enjoyable two minutes, with great art by Ed McGuinness. I think the Thor purists are going to cringe at this issue, though.
  • Showcase Presents House of Secrets Vol. 1 – Contains a reprint of the first Swamp Thing story, and another 500-something pages of less important stuff. Oh, okay, it has the Sergio Aragones gag pages, too.

Nothing to do with comics, but everything to do with fans of the Mystery Science Theatre 3000: the third Cinematic Titanic film, The Wasp Woman, should be available for download as you read this, and the DVD release should be available by Monday.

More linkblogging…

filed under Categories Uncategorized

…since I still feel bleah and I’d rather let everybody else do the work for me.

  • I know he’s been advertising in the sidebar recently, because he’s a kind and generous man, but I wanted to draw extra attention to Scott Saavedra’s updated-weekly webstrip Java Town. Mr. Saavedra is a swell cartoonist, and as a fan of his work for, lessee, 22 years now, I want to give him whatever support I can.
  • I haven’t pointed out this site since, well, I probably first added it to the sidebar, but Size Matters reviews mini-comics, which I love and haven’t bought enough of lately. It pleases me to know that people are still doing minis and not, say, going straight for the webcomic thing.
  • Apparently the recent release of the Hembeck Omnibus has inspired yet another go around of “100 Things I Love About Comics,” based on Fred’s strips on that topic. Well, folks are just doing fifty things this time around, which, you know, fair enough.

    I almost had a “100 Things” Valentine’s Day tradition going, inspired by Hembeck and Alan David Doane, doing my list of 100 in 2005 along with a bunch of other people, following up in 2006 and 2007, but I blew it this year when, um, I forgot until it was too late. Ah, well. Maybe I’ll try again in 2009.

    Of course, we all must bow to Tom Spurgeon’s list of a thousand things, which he did because he’s Tom Freakin’ Spurgeon and he shows us How Things Are Done just as a matter of course.

  • Article on comics in classrooms vis-à-vis the San Diego Con titled with “POW! ZOWIE! Teachers discover the comic book.” At least they had the good taste to illustrate the article with an America’s Best Comics cover from the ’40s.

    Also, just to note: the article mentions that fifteen years ago many professors would have mocked the idea of studying comics in the classroom. Well, not the late Professor Frank McConnell, whom I had as a professor at UCSB about 18 years ago, and was assigned in his courses The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen. My memories of those classes was one of the earliest posts on this site.

  • “The Top Five Environmentally Friendly Characters in Comics” – you know, really, with friends like Poison Ivy…. Also, guess who’s number one the list. G’WAN, GUESS.

    There’s a totally unnecessary slam on Captain Planet at the end of the article, too. That’s hard cheese, old bean.

  • Speaking of Swamp Thing, Showcase Presents House of Secrets volume 1 is out this week, and in response to your massive amount of inquiries (well, okay, one), I will be buying this to obtain the eleventh version of House of Secrets #92, the first appearance of Swamp Thing.

    It’s a sickness.

  • And more speaking of Swamp Thing: this columnist is tired of comic book movies, and I suppose I really can’t blame him. However, he refers to the first Swamp Thing movie as “terrible,” which is bad enough (the movie’s merely misunderstood), and, even more surprisingly, he refers to the sequel Return of the Swamp Thing as “forgettable.” Man, take it from me…if you’ve seen Return of the Swamp Thing, I’m sure you could come up with many words to describe it, but “forgettable” wouldn’t be one of them. I mean C’MON.
  • Apparently my re-linking of Harry Knowles’ entirely appalling Blade II review, even if just in my Twitter thingie, has caused terror and despair, fear and anguish, mothers to disown children, brother to turn on brother, etc. So, I promise not to link to it any more. Honest. You’ll never have to think about that review ever again. No need to thank me.
  • And now, by popular demand…Alan Moore’s favorite superhero:

Mike’s sick day linking.

filed under Categories Uncategorized

I’ve been under the weather for the last couple of days, and I’m still running a fever, so I’m going to continue my Low Content Mode for today, if you all don’t mind. Also, some advice: if you’re feeling sick on your day off from work, don’t decide that you’re going to rearrange the garage and build some shelving anyway. You’ll regret it.

So, here’s some linkage to material generated by other people:

Hmm. That was just as much work as a real post. Some “Low Content Mode.”

How do you follow up The Greatest Comic Book News of All Time?

filed under Categories Uncategorized

Like this:

“Join Herbie as he takes on goofy cavemen, joins George Washington’s army, gets the better of pop-culture figures like Gregory Peck and the Queen of England, and dons the unassuming costume of the Fat Fury for the very first time!”

Surely you don’t need more incentive to buy Herbie Archives Volume 2 than that? Reprints issues 6 through 14, due at the end of the year. It’s in this month’s Previews, so start nagging your retailer now.

  • As long as I’m kissing Dark Horse Comics’ butt, let me mention that I greatly enjoyed the Wondermark webcomic collection Beards of Our Forefathers, and can’t wait for the Achewood collection The Great Outdoor Fight. Dark Horse sure is putting out some handsome-looking books for these strips.

    Can we look forward to a nice hardcover collection of this strip? Can a boy dare dream?

  • In response to the folks who left comments on this post about our old mini-comics publication Wood-Eye, specifically asking for a web and/or PDF release…well, I’m all for it, I suppose, but I’d want to get permission from the other contributors first. I can only get a hold of about half of them now, which could cause a problem. And a couple of our contributors have since passed on…well, one has, for sure, and I’m pretty sure the other has as well (it’s been years since I’ve seen him, and he was well into his 80s even at the time).

    I suppose with the people I can contact, and assuming they’re okay with it, I can put together a “Best of Wood-Eye” thing for online distribution. Let me look into it. No promises.

  • So both Roger Ebert (who liked the film) and this gentleman (who didn’t – URL maybe NSFW) seemed to miss the fact that the Joker tells conflicting stories about his past, specifically about how he acquired his scars, throughout The Dark Knight. Ebert at least uses the word “claims” when he first brings up the Joker’s alleged childhood trauma, but takes said claim at face value when comparing Batman’s and Joker’s backgrounds later in the review.

    You don’t have to say anything…I know this is overly nitpicky, and doesn’t have much to do with the whole of either man’s opinions. It just has me wondering if that particular “multiple-choice origins” shtick with the Joker really didn’t translate that well for the general audience. I mean, we all know it…if you’re reading a comic book weblog, then you likely have a nerdly background in funnybooks, and have read (or at least are aware of) The Killing Joke, which was the source for this particular characteristic of the Joker. When we encounter it in the movie, it’s familiar to us…we get it. Maybe this isn’t so for the uninitiated, though I thought the filmmakers did a good job establishing that, just maybe, the Joker isn’t the most reliable source for information about himself.

    Or maybe Heath Ledger’s performance where he gives his first explanation is so edgy and powerful that it sticks in the memory much easier than the other presented stories. Well, sure, let’s go with that.

Things I had blissfully forgotten.

filed under Categories Uncategorized

That the Pop-O-Matic plastic bubble/dice-rolling contraption had been anthropomorphized into a mascot named Pop’ee:

GAZE INTO MY DICE

AND KNOW FEAR

ad from The Demon #16 (Jan 1974)

Pal Sean gave me the finest gift one man can give to another man.

filed under Categories Uncategorized

And that gift is a Swamp Thing cardboard facemask:


This was a promotional item available at Shout Factory’s San Diego Con table, in support of their DVD releases for the Swamp Thing TV show. I was actually stunned by this gift from Sean. Oh, yes, he got a hug. A warm, manly hug.

Now that I’ve got my archival image of the mask with the eyes still intact, I can pop those eyes out and start wearing the mask at work. Every day. From opening to closing. When I’m taking deposits to the bank. IT AIN’T COMIN’ OFF.

Also, I finally got photographic proof of Employee Aaron joining Goon creator Eric Powell onstage during his panel, which I’ve mentioned once or twice.

Here’s the boy being amused by one of Mr. Powell’s witty comments:


…And here’s the boy looking straight at the camera as if to say, “Yeah, that’s right, I’m up here next to one of my favorite comic book creators. Whaddaya think of that, tough guy?”


And you’d think that would be enough for Employee Aaron, wouldn’t you? But no, Aaron’s hanging with famous people continues. Here he is with America’s most beloved comic book readin’ bovine, Bully the Little Stuffed Bull:


Speaking of Bully, you can read all about his San Diego adventures, and see all his great photos, starting from this convenient convention coverage index. Highly recommended! Has more Jane-Wiedlin-holding-a-stuffed-bull content than any other SDCC report!

In other news:

  • A reminder that pal Dorian is continuing with Beach Party Week, and that second link will bring up all the associated posts. Guaranteed to give you a new appreciation of this particular film genre.
  • Bitterandrew takes on one of Spider-Man’s most famous and beloved stories.
  • A little more detail about my two Twitter posts: we ordered an enormous amount of Watchmen paperbacks from our distributor about a week and a half ago. At the time, the books were still in stock at the distributor, our reorder was confirmed, and the order was processed.

    However, when we received our shipment on Wednesday, it became obvious that we received someone else’s reorder, and that about 90% of the reorders that we’d placed, including the Watchmen books, ended up being shipped to parts unknown. And given that Watchmen has since run out of stock at the distributor level, there are no replacements to be had until the reprints come through.

    So, I’ve spent the last couple of days explaining to everyone we told that we’d have Watchmen back in stock on Wednesday that, ha ha, there was a distributor screw-up and we didn’t get ’em and I don’t know when we’ll get replacements and I’m sure that’s not making us look like jackasses at all.

    And I still have a weekend of this to look forward to.

    I know mistakes happen, but this just had to happen when our demand for Watchmen is higher than it’s been in years…and this is a book that’s never been in low demand.

    If you happen to come by the store and wonder why I have more gray hair than ever, this is one of the reasons why.

  • Okay, so I don’t wrap up on a bummer, let’s continue our Employee Aaron content, with this, the Be Kind, Rewind-style “Sweding” of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, starring Aaron and his sister:


    I don’t get you kids, sometimes.

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

filed under Categories End of Civilization

Hey, as long as you’re not sick of ’em, I’ll keep doing ’em! It’s time once again to plow through the new Diamond Previews catalog and see what crimes against God and nature exist within…whip out your copy of the August 2008 volume and follow along, if you’ve got the guts. (Previous installments are, as always, linked in the sidebar.)

p. 121 – Watchmen Movie Rorschach Grappling Gun and Mask Prop Replica Set:


DC Direct’s Watchmen merch-a-gasm continues, with this troubling set. Now, the gun is “permanently attached to a display base,” to keep people from, I don’t know, waving it around at the frozen yogurt shop or something. But the mask…the mask is removable and, presumably, wearable, and, hopefully, not leading to any news stories similar to this one.

p. 201 – Archie Americana Volume 9 The Best of the ’90s TP:


They had enough to fill a book? Well, maybe it has those last few stories by Dan DeCarlo before he got the shaft and the boot.

p. 250 – Zen Intergalactic Ninja #0 99c Special:


“Zen returns completely re-imagined by superstar writer Joe Casey!” exclaims the ad copy, and re-imagined he certainly is, as the last time I checked, Zen was given a nose and a mouth! Surely Mr. Casey didn’t strip our favorite space-ninja of his facial orifices?

p. 303 – Presidential Material Barack Obama & John McCain:


I wonder if some other company will publish a Presidential Material: Ralph Nader comic to steal sales away from these titles?

(Hate mail in 3…2…)

p. p388 – Bat-Manga! The Secret History of Batman in Japan:


As someone who’s seen some vintage Japanese Batman stuff, usually courtesy my currently-dormant pal JP…I am reasonably certain this book will be filled with some weird-ass crap. You think you know bizarre Batman? Gird your loins, chum.

p. 423 – Doctor Doom Doomie t-shirt:


Just having a hard time picturing someone refer to Doom as “Doomie.” You know, to his face. Well, aside from the Thing…and maybe Spider-Man.

Yes, I know none of these people are real.

p. 426 – I’ve Never Had… Double-Sided Black T-Shirts:


Shirts with suggestive fronts, and drink recipes on the back. I designed my own shirt front, but may have missed the point slightly:

p. 426 – Star Wars Slippers:


Perhaps not as bizarre as these, but still…AAAAAAH! It’d be like having little green Mel Tormé heads on your tootsies.

p. 437 – Barbie Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds Doll:


I’m not sure what I can add to that picture. It’s Barbie…with black birds swarming her, threatening to peck out her perfect eyes and rip out her hair for their nests. This is both hysterical and absolutely terrifying and will never, ever know the touch of a child.

p. 438 – Godzilla Godzooky Plush:


Okay, for all you people who gave me grief over identifying a character as Godzooky who wasn’t Godzooky in the original version of this post: here you go. I now know the difference between the two characters. I am enlightened.

p. 442 – Buffy the Vampire Slayer Angel 1/1 Scale Puppet Replica:


Oh for God’s sake, it’s yet another permutation of the Angel Puppet, only this time “life”-sized and with a removable nose and working mouth and poseable arms and I have no idea if the previous puppets had any of these features but, geez, let’s give it a rest already.

If a “life”-sized Spike Puppet follows, I totally quit.

p. 464 – Jean Grey Black Queen Statue:


“So, Bob…”

“Yeah?”

“What’s…um, what’s with the statue of the dominatrix on your mantel?”

“That’s not a dominatrix…that’s Jean Grey!”

“‘Jean Grey.'”

“Yeah, you know, from the X-Men!”

“I don’t remember her like that from the movie.”

“Well, no, this was from the comics. See, she was brainwashed into joining the Hellfire Club…”

“The ‘Hellfire Club.'”

“Yeah, they’re like a group of villains, and they sorta made her join.”

“So the Hell Club made Jean Grey evil and she turned into a dominatrix.”

“Hellfire Club, and no, she’s not a domi…look, here are the comics. Just read these and it’ll explain everything.”

“Uh, who’s the dominatrix in the white outfit?”

“That’s Emma Frost…she’s from the Hellfire Club.”

“So she’s another evil woman in, what, lingerie?”

“Er…yeah.”

“I’m learning an awful lot about you, Bob.”

“Me? I didn’t write these comics!”

p. 466 – Adam West busts:


Normally I’d make fun of statues and busts based on a television superhero’s alter ego’s likeness rather than the superhero him/herself…but, c’mon, it’s freakin’ ADAM WEST. He’s practically a superhero just on his own.

I like that you get your choice of jackets. Blue or checkered, sir?

p.470 – Rambo 1/6 Scale Figure:


I’m not sure I’m badass enough to own a likeness of Stallone that’s 1/6th as big as he is. I’d be afraid to have it in the house.

p. 490 – SMC-Ikki Tousen Kan-U Unchou PVC Figure:


Yet another in a long line of “CROTCH ATTACK – GO!” plastic, easily washable Japanese statues, which I normally wouldn’t bring up yet again. But, really, the more you look at that, the more you gotta wonder: “What kind of defense and/or attack posture is that, exactly?” Unless, you know, she’s distracting you while her partner clocks you over the head from behind.

p. 503 – Barack Obama Talking Bobblehead:


I assure you, this following joke is strictly nonpartisan. I’d use a McCain or Nader or Sharpton or McKinley or whoever bobblehead as a springboard for the same gag.

Disclaimer aside, bad joke COMING THRU:

“A Talking Bobblehead toy of a politician? What’s the difference from the real thing? AMIRIGHT?“

…

Well, that was a lot of set-up for nothing. Sorry about that.

p. 503 – The Exorcist Regan Head Knocker:

“…Complete with bobble head and bobble bed action.”

I’m pretty sure Regan’s head did more than just bobble in this movie. And I never want to see the phrase “bobble bed” ever again.

But it could have been worse. There could have been a bobble toy based around that scene with the crucif…oh, I’m not even going to finish that thought.

p. 507 – Smallville Kara’s Kryptonian Bracelet:


Let’s flash-forward to a Previews catalog a few years from now:

“These Wonder Woman Magical Bracelet replicas are directly modeled on the props from the new hit Hollywood movie, and not at all those old Smallville bracelets with the S-logo buffed out and a Wonder Woman logo etched in!”

p. 507 – Smallville Veritas Key:


“Commemorate with this key prop replica that whole ‘Veritas’ thing, one of the most shoehorned-in plot developments in Smallville‘s broadcasting history. And given this is Smallville we’re talking about, that’s sayin’ something.”

p. 511 – The Nightmare Before Christmas Oogie Boogie Head Plush:


I wonder if once a year they dip into the unsold stock of Harry Potter Sorting Hat plushes, dye the material and make some other minor cosmetic changes, and vee-ola, Oogie Boogie.

Well, no, I suppose not.

p. 517 – Star Trek The Original Series 11-inch Nutcrackers:


Hey, Lena and JK! Does this count as another medium William Shatner has conquered? I dare say…yes, yes it is.

Also, I think we can assume Kirk has cracked some nuts in his day. That smarmy Chekov bastard needed a good nutcrackin’, quite frankly.

p. 517 – Star Wars Fabric Maches:


I was going to say something about “undermining the integrity of the characters,” but I don’t think there’s anything the merchandise can do that Episodes I-III hadn’t already.

p. 526 – Clue Harry Potter Edition:

“Was it Draco Malfoy with a Sleeping Draught in the Owlery?”

I’d normally prefer to not end on something with solicitation text that makes me want to punch somebody, but, alas, I must go where Previews takes me.