Things Not to Say to A Comic Shop Employee. (All true, by the way.)

§ May 4th, 2004 § Filed under Uncategorized Comments Off on Things Not to Say to A Comic Shop Employee. (All true, by the way.)

1. “Do you carry comics?”

2. “How much will this comic be worth?”

3. “I don’t remember the title…but it had this guy, and he did this thing.”

4. “You know, I’m the person ‘Hopey’ from Love & Rockets was based on.”

5. “Do you sell inflatable sheep?”

6. “Do you have a private viewing room for the adult comics?”

7. “Why, I remember when comics were only 5 cents!”

8. “Do you have any really good ninja comics?”

9. “I have a comic from 1962. What’s it worth?”

10. “Are all your comics this expensive?”

11. “Do you have any ‘I Love Bingo’ t-shirts?”

12. “Do you have a photocopier? I want to copy some pages out of this comic.”

13. “I’m an artist; do you have anything I can trace?” (Okay, they don’t come right out and say it like that, but that’s what they mean.)

14. “I’m looking for some good tattoo ideas — what do you have?”

15. “Do you have any Spider-Man comics that are less sexy and violent than this?” (said after looking at a reprint of a Lee/Ditko era Spider-Man)

16. “Hi! I just let my ill-mannered kids run around the store unsupervised while I talked loudly on my cell phone for the last half-hour, and I have absolutely no intention of buying anything. Can my kids use your employees-only bathroom?” (Again, not exactly what the customer said…but boy, that’s how I read it. Surprisingly, my answer was “no.”)

17. “I know it’s out…it said so on the internet!”

18. “They’re still publishing Superman? I thought he died a few years ago.” (I get this a lot.)

19. “Is X-Men x-rated? You know, what with the ‘x’ and all.”

20. “You mean there’s an entire store just for comic books?”

Don’t worry…I was nice and tried to help all of these people out, or corrected their misconceptions, or politely informed them “no.” Except for #16 — screw ‘im.

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