Mikester

You ask questions, I supply answers, more or less:

• I’m going to jump ahead and answer this question from yesterday’s comment section, posed by stevews:
  

  “Is this whole Q&A thing just a way to fill up a few days worth of blog posts?”

  Well…yeah, it is, I suppose. It’s just that this was going to be a full week for me, and if I didn’t have to worry about what I was going to post for a few days, that’s one less thing I have to deal with. Plus, I like answering questions from you guys. I just hope you folks enjoy the answers.

  “Also: Why can’t I enjoy things anymore?”

  Have you worked in comics retail for 20+ years? That’s what did it to me.

• Just Some Guy dares to ask
  

  “What comic books should I be investing in right now?”

  GRRAAAGGHH…er, I mean, “you should invest in comics that you enjoy reading, so that they’d always be worth something to you.”

  Also, you should invest in Resurrection #8, due out this week in your finer comic shops, and featuring the professional funnybook debut of Chris Sims, The Comics Writer That Walks Like A Man, along with co-conspirators Chad Bowers and Rusty Shackles! Guaranteed to be worth a thousand space credits in Earth: New Era, Year 100!

  “Okay, more seriously along those lines: do you get a lot of people who think they should be getting rich by selling their 1990’s investment collections to Ralph’s or has that gone away entirely?”

  Once in a while, I still get a phone call that goes like this:

  “Hi, I have a bunch of old comics I want to sell!”

  “Sure, what do you have?”

  “Oh, a bunch of really old and valuable ones!”

  “Can you read off some of the titles for me?”

  “Let’s see…Wetworks…Brigade…Team Youngblood….they’re all number ones!”

  “I bet they are.”

  I then have to give them the unfortunate news that, well, not too long ago we sold 100,000 comics in bulk for a nickel each, and if one were to read off the titles included in that sale, it wouldn’t sound much different from what these folks had in their investi-collections. (And, as I’ve discussed before, it’s not as if any of these comics bought for investment purposes were ever kept in collectible condition anyway…they’re almost always beat to crap.)

  So, while it’s scaled back quite a bit, I still do see the occasional person with dollars signs in his eyes and Shadowhawk in his short boxes, and I have to brace myself as I give him the bad news. Ah, well.

• Googum googums
  

  “If I’m buying books from the quarter boxes, am I wrecking comics? I got Batman: Unseen and almost all of the new Unknown Soldier for a dollar an issue; and enjoyed them both, but it can’t be helping out those books, creators, the comic shop, DC…can it?”

  Well, if the comic is actually in the shop, then the publisher, creators, and distributor already have (or will shortly have) their share of the loot. At that point, the only person left to make money on the comic is the retailer. Hopefully, most copies of the comic will sell at cover price, but if there are some left over, or if it’s a dog and there are a lot left over, then dumping it in the bargain boxes is a way to recoup some of that loss. In other words, if it won’t sell for $3, maybe it’ll sell for a dollar. That’s still losing money, but not as much money as if you’d kept it at $3 and never sold it at all.

  So, if you’re buying comics out of the bargain bin, don’t worry…you’re not killing comics. You’re filling one of the expected sales niches in comics retail, and you’re helping a retailer move overstock that he wants to get rid of, and still make back at least a little money in the process.

• Jason iPonders
  

  “Let’s say that the iPad/electronic market explodes and Marvel & DC move to exclusive distributon of single issues electronically. Do you think your store could survive as a retailer of print collections of comics and back issues (and as a retailer of whatever indie singles still released)?”

  I think it’s possible, sure. I mean, there are still stores that sell records, after all. And since we’re one of the bigger stores, with a large selection of back issues, I could see our store shifting into one of the remaining “Old Stores with Archaic Entertainment Selling to a Very Niche Audience,” and yeah yeah we’re pretty much there already, I know.

  “Do you think this is a likely future (as in happening in the next 10 – 20 years)?”

  Hard to say…I mean, as more and more young people grow up used to the idea of reading everything on a screen, and more people like me who like their words and pictures printed on dead trees, dagnabbit (“he said on his blog”) die out, I can see the market eventually shifting to primarily to electronic publications. But the readers would have to be cheap almost to the point of disposability, and purt’near universal, I think, before that happens.

  But I’d like to think that there will always be an audience for printed books and magazines and such. At least, I hope so.

  (There is a related question that expands on this one that I will probably address tomorrow.)

• Pal Andres would like to know
  

  “If a freak snowstorm would to hit Ventura and you were trapped in your store under 30 feet of snow with all your current employees who’d be the first to, you know, get turned into lunch?”

  Aaron. Timmy’s probably too stringy, and I’m not much into British food anyway.

• Gordon reboots
  

  “First, do you feel the term ‘reboot’ gets bandied about too frequently in both comics and movies (and comic movies)? It seems as if the idea of ‘rebooting’ a movie franchise is akin to publishing a new # 1 issue.”

  Yeah, probably, though it seems to have slowed down a bit in comics in recent years. Which is good, since the solution to something not working was too often “let’s reboot it!” which was just as likely to give readers a jumping off point as a jumping on one.

  In movies and television, nothing succeeds like success, and if one rebooted franchise does well (like Batman, or James Bond, or Battlestar Galactica, or Star Trek), then the race is on to find the next one. Now, those particular examples there turned out okay, and I don’t mind seeing what some new folks can do with old properties, but sometimes people are trying a little too hard to find something to “reboot.” (Like Buffy the Vampire Slayer…are they still talking about trying to redo that?)

  So, to answer the question…no, I don’t mind all the reboot talk, so long as it results in something good and entertaining and not, say, Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes. (Okay, I didn’t hate that movie, but it was oh so unnecessary. How do you improve upon perfection?)

  “Also, where did I leave my library card?”

  Probably left it in the last book you returned where you were using it as a bookmark, ya mook. As a former librarian, I used to see that all the time.

• Wayne Allen Sallee asks
  

  “Why do you think that there are no Robert Mitchum ties?”

  Really couldn’t tell you, but I did find this Roger Ebert column which opens with a discussion of a tie Mitchum is wearing.

• William Gatevackes reasonably wonders
  

  “What’s your opinion on DC’s habit of making a bigger deal about anniversary issue numbers (i.e. changing Wonder Woman’s numbering in time for her 600th issue, having Helen Slater do a story for Supergirl’s 50th issue, etc) than the actual anniversary of the characters themselves (i.e. nothing really last year for Supergirl’s 50th or Batman’s 70th, nothing for Superman’s 70th the year before, and not much this year for DC’s 75th anniversary (at least not as much as Marvel did last year for their 70th))”

  You know, I have no idea. I’ve always liked the idea of anniversary issues (and in fact used to buy any of DC’s anniversary comics, regardless if it was a title I regularly followed), and am glad both companies still make big deals out of them. Now, Marvel fooling around with issue numbers seems to be more a marketing and sales thing…once the sales bump given to a title by having a new number one is over, switching the numbering back in time for a title to have a Special Issue that’s numbered at a multiple of 100 is just a way to bump sales up. DC doing it on Wonder Woman is…well, the same thing, I’m sure, but I think part of it might be that of DC’s Big Three Heroes, WW was the only character who didn’t have a title numbered in the hundreds. Bumping her back up to 600 was probably a way to reestablish her historic credentials with the company. Or it was just a sales gimmick. Who knows, really.

  As to why DC isn’t celebrating the actual year anniversaries of the characters…seems to me I remember reading something about DC holding off on an anniversary celebration for Superman until his 75th anniversary rolled around, rather than undermining it with a previous 70th anniversary bash. Maybe they’re doing the same for Batman. And skipping Supergirl entirely…again, I don’t know, aside from Supergirl not being quite the same level of draw as the other big name characters, maybe?

  Or there’s always the possibility that no one at DC wants their audience to think of their characters as “old.” Even though Grandpa Batman would be awesome.

• Mike @ MHH mccarthies
  

  “Have you read the Fables novel ‘Peter and Max’? If so, what’d you think? If not, are you a communist?”

  Um…of course I have read it, comra…er, my friend. How could I not?

  Well, okay, actually, that’s a lie. I haven’t read it yet, because I’m terribly behind on my reading and I ended up not picking up the book because I don’t need yet another hardcover on the stack I’m trying to get through. But I do want to read it when I have the time. There’s a paperback version due out soon, so maybe I’ll try to get my mitts on that.

Thanks for everyone’s questions…more tomorrow!

I asked you for questions, you folks questioned me, and now, let me offer up some answers for your perusal:

• The possibly-pseudonymous Suckmaster Burstingfoam starts things off on a classy note with this quartet of queries:
  

  “When did you last masturbate?”

  If you include mental masturbation, then I do that pretty much every time I write a blog post.

  “When did you last masturbate to a comicbook?”

  Oh, good heavens, never. Though, I did briefly consider (to borrow a phrase from George Carlin) touching myself in an impure manner when I scored that VF+ copy of House of Secrets #92.

  “How much comicbook pornography do you own?”

  Well, depends on what you consider “pornography.” I’ve encountered some people over the years who think anything in the comic book format is pornographic. I’ve repeatedly mentioned that one lady who thought Steve Ditko’s Spider-Man comics were too graphically sexual. (I have no idea what she was finding in there. I don’t want to know.)

  And then there’s stuff like the underground books and indies and Vertigo comics…there is sexual content in some of those, and you know that’s enough for some folks to brand those as “pornographic” as well.

  But I know what you mean. You’re talkin’ the full-on sex books…the “insert turgid Tab A in supple Slot B” kind of thing. Not really a lot…I have Phil Foglio’s Xxxenophile comics, which are fun and imaginative and hilariously dirty, Gilbert Hernandez’s Birdland which is…well, it’s Gilbert Hernandez, of course I’m going to buy it, and Don Simpson’s Wendy Whitebread comics and Forbidden Frankenstein, for which there is no excuse other than I’m a Simpson fan but should still be ashamed of myself for owning these.

  “Have you ever masturbated while on a break at the comicbook shop?”

  “Breaks?” Oh, yeah, like I get those. No, I have to do it at the register between sales.

• Old Bull Lee sez
  

  “Not necessarily a question but a request, hope that’s okay”

  Sure! I’m always open for requests.

  “more Smallville commentary. It seems like everything I hear about it is either snark or geek worship. Your even-handed opinions about the show are refreshing.”

  Thank you. I used to do a lot more Smallville commentary than I do, and…well, not sure why I fell out of it other than wanting to do something else, I suppose. I think part of the reason I don’t do it more than I do is because I don’t tend to watch them in a timely fashion, not that being late to the game has ever stopped me on this website before. And after this series of posts (occupying most of that archive page, beginning at the very bottom) I don’t know I have a whole lot more to say about it aside from any unusual events that may pop up (like that JSA episode).

  But who knows…maybe I’ll be inspired to comment on the show again, someday!

• Old blogging pal H asks:
  

  “Who does Sluggo pick between:

  1) Betty and Veronica;”

  While Sluggo would be tempted by the riches and ritziness of Veronica, as often evidenced by Sluggo’s occasional wooing of new fancy rich girls in his neighborhood, I suspect he would find himself more compatible with the more down-to-earth Betty.

  “2) Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson”

  That’s really hard to say. I suspect Sluggo would find both of them intimidating. Probably Mary Jane…Gwen’s policeman father would be the dealbreaker.

  “3) Jean Loring and Enrichetta Negrini?”

  Well, one, Jean Loring’s nuttier than that fruitcake you still have leftover from Christmas, and two…dude, I’d go for Enrichetta Negrini! FOXY ITALIAN SCIENTIST IS GO

• GQ wonders
  

  “So, Flash existed in the Smallville universe but when another super-speedster shows up, the press dub him ‘The red-blue blur.’ Really? They wouldn’t just call him ‘The New Flash?'”

  Yeah, that whole “red-blue blur” thing…that’s the best name they could come up with? I haven’t heard them use it in a while, that I’ve noticed, especially since Clark is now the “Black Blur.” That’s a slightly better nickname, anyway.

  “If you that baby’s father, where you bin at?”

  EMPLOYEE AARON IS NOT MY SON. I resent this line of questioning.

• Nimbus has this to say:
  

  “Do you think Marvel and DC are somehow in cahoots when it comes to some of their recent major storylines? They both ‘killed’ one of their major characters (Cap America & Batman) and sent them tumbling through time. And DC is heading towards a Brightest Day whereas Marvel has the lighter Heroic Age on the horizon. Or is it all just coincidence?”

  I think it’s a fairly even mix of coincidence, following market trends, and Keeping up with The Joneses. The Cap/Batman thing is almost certainly a coincidence, the alleged “lightening of the superhero books” is simply a marketing tool / response to readers, and crossovers feeding into crossovers is mostly just Marvel and DC trying to outdo each other and eat up as much shelf space as possible.

  “What thoughts do you have on the upcoming Brightest Day and Heroic Age events? ‘About time’, ‘Not more events!’, ‘I’ll sure sell more at the store’, or something else?”

  As far as the actual quality of these go, we’ll see, but it certainly has customer interest up so I expect some strong sales at least initially. I am wondering if DC is pushing it with two weekly series and a biweekly series, though at least two of the three should do well. (The third, tying into a video game, I don’t have high hopes for.) And Marvel’s thing…”event fatigue” seems to be hitting Marvel a little harder than DC where our sales are concerned. Siege, Marvel’s latest event, is doing okay with its main series, but tie-in books mostly are dying the dog’s death. So how well “Heroic Age” goes depends on how many comics have the “Heroic Age Tie-In!” banner on them.

  “If Swamp Thing and Man-Thing somehow merged together to form one creature would it be called Swamp Man? Or Thing-Thing?”

  It would be called “a big slimy mess,” I’d imagine. (Or whatever Dave Sim called it when his Man-Thing and Swamp Thing parodies (nicknamed Fred and Ethyl) were merged together into that giant being with The Little Fellow with The Hair as they attempted their ascension to Tarim. Yes, I realize this makes no sense to a lot of you.)

• Eric L wants to know
  

  “As a comic store manager what is your reply when a new customer asks you ‘Is this book any good’ when you in fact think this book is complete garbage? let’s say it’s ULTIMATES VOL. 3 which is a book I don’t think I’ve heard anyone say anything nice about. Do you pass up the sale and tell the customer it’s crap or do you knowingly sell the customer something you feel is crap and very few people have even enjoyed?”

  I’ve talked about this before on the site, and it’s a tricky thing. With a customer whose tastes I know, it’s a little easier to say “yay” or “nay” on something, and try to direct him to something else he might like if I gave him a “nay.” Individualized attention like this facilitates future sales, as the customer comes to trust my recommendations, and will perhaps try a new thing he wouldn’t have considered otherwise if not for my say-so. (A subtle distinction lost on those people who could not understand my disdain for a store newsletter that told essentially the entire customer base to “not buy” certain comics, if you remember that bit of foolishness from a year or so back.)

  A new customer, or a customer whose preferences I’m not familiar with, is a little harder. I’ll make an attempt to explain what the book is about, what characters are in it, maybe even other works by the same creator to give them a reference point, if that helps…I try not to say anything like “most people think this book sucks” because for all I know, this person I’m talking to may think this book will be great. You might get a “this isn’t really my thing” out of me, but I’ll try to find out if it would be this customer’s thing. And in the case of Ultimates 3, I had plenty of customers who liked it just fine, so there you go. It’s a matter of finding out what that customer wants from his funnybook reading, and trying to fill that need.

And that’s enough questions for today. Come back same Mike-time, same Mike-channel for more pulse pounding answers in the mighty Ruin manner!