Mikester

This character always seemed a bit peculiar to me…

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…and seeing her in three-dimensional action figure form doesn’t dissuade me from that particular feeling. And frankly, the very idea of her figure having “arm-spinning action” is making me a little nauseous.

I probably won’t be mentioning any of this in the eventual eBay auction listing.

Yet another item from the Back Room of Misfit Toys.

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DC Direct’s Pocket Heroes were, it seems, a direct response to Marvel’s extensive Minimates line of eesny-weensy superhero figurines (which you can see here at this extensive Minimates review site). The Pocket Heroes line ended once DC got in on the Minimates action, but alas, some Pocket Heroes product still remains at the shop even today.

I suppose these were a cheap alternative to the larger and more elaborate DC Direct action figures, which retail for about $16 to $20 a pop. And I guess they look…okay, but they probably should have avoiding representing characters in their civvies:


Lois comes out fine, but poor Jimmy looks like he’s in his long johns. At least you get Superman’s JLA chair! “Includes awesome sitting action!”

It seemed like, from the get-go, that the Pocket Heroes were going to be hot items. Prior to the launch of this toy series, the deluxe Solomon Grundy action figure came with a promotional Golden Age Wonder Woman Pocket Hero figure, which we received many, many requests for, and which I suspect brought about the almost instant unavailability of the Grundy figure. And the first wave of Pocket Heroes sold very well for us. The next wave…not really so much, I’m afraid. I’m still listing and, sadly, not selling them on the eBay.

There were a couple of other boxed sets like the Superman one above, pictured on the back of the packaging, and which I do not recall ever carrying:


Ooh, that’s the Golden Age Green Lantern in his Sentinel costume, isn’t it? That’s a shame. Hmmm…come to think of it, maybe we did carry this, because I just now recall a conversation I had about how the Pocket Heroes line may be the only way to get every member of the Green Lantern Corps an action figure. “Collect all 3,600!”


More examples of folks in their civvies not looking quite right. “Why, Alfred, that spandex butler outfit fits snugly to your every curve!” “Why, thank you, Master Bruce. And may I compliment you on your spandex business attire?”

Ah, well, nice try, Pocket Super Heroes Superman Box Set, but nobody around our parts wanted you. Let us cast your fate to the eBay winds, and we shall see where they will take you. L@@K LONG JOHN JIMMY RARE H@T

Don’t ask.

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“This calls for my rarely-used power of fist growth!”


“You’d think if I was going to buy 500 identical outfits so I can wear
the same thing to school every single day, I’d have picked an outfit
that wasn’t so itchy.”


“WHAT’S IN THE BOX!?”


Kryptonian dogs had evolved far beyond their terrestrial counterparts,
with advanced intellects, opposable thumbs, and the ability to walk
on their hind legs. They still enjoyed peeing on everything in sight,
because hey, who doesn’t?


“I’ve had it with this stupid one-horse town. Especially when that
horse turned out to be yet another super-villain gunnin’
for Superboy. I mean, c’mon, give me a break, here.”


BEHOLD THE TOMATOES OF PA KENT


BEHOLD THE WONDERS OF MA KENT’S PIE

Or maybe he’s just a fan of James Bond’s boss.

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  • There’s a small bit of satisfaction in knowing that the somewhat appalling Loonatics Unleashed anime-esque redesign of the Looney Tunes characters from a few years back is currently being held by the current cartoon developers as an example of what not to do. (I mean, I get having to keep your old properties modern and relevant, but sheesh.)

  • Over at the latest installment of Awesome Hospital, HydrogenGuy asks if that’s a picture of “Swamp Thing wearing a Mike Sterling cap?” And indeed, there’s a pic of Swampy wearing a baseball cap with the letter “M” on the front. (There’s also a pic of a naked bottom at that link, so if you work for WE HATE CARTOON PICTURES OF NAKED BUTTS Industries, I would perhaps not look at the image at work.)

    Now, I know I could just ask the guys what create the strip, since I’m in regular contact with most of them, but I’m just going to go ahead and assume that, yes, that’s a drawing of Swamp Thing with a Mike Sterling hat. And if those guys say any different, they’re lying.

  • Via a comment someone left on my site and was caught by the spam filter (and, um, was accidentally deleted…sorry!), the third and final volume of the Swamp Thing TV series is coming out on DVD, available directly from Shout Factory. It’s a terrible series, but I do have to keep that Swamp Thing collection complete, don’cha know. (Also, the linked article makes two mistakes: 1) it notes Roger Corman’s involvement in the film series, even though he wasn’t involved in the films, far as I know, and 2) the writer accidentally refers to the two feature films as “horrid,” which is clearly not true. I mean, c’mon, just LOOK AT THIS:

  • You people sure act fast! As I noted yesterday, Max Huffman of Mocktopus fame was in dire need of a new computer, and thus offered up his drawin’ skills in exchange for donations. Well, he’s already met his goal, but if he keeps getting money, maybe he can get an even fancier computer! Plus, he’s going to need that extra money to cover postage once he starts shipping all the drawings he’s sending to donors (especially if he’s shipping overseas).

I realize I’m also contributing to the advertising, but at least I’m not really paying anything to do so.

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So the Season 9 finale of Smallville aired last week, and the prologue for that episode featured a flash-forward to the year 2013, where Lois is a full-fledged reporter for the Daily Planet, Perry White is the Chief, and Clark is off to a super-rescue, diverting a plane from a collision course with the Planet building:


A closer look at what’s going on in the reflection, there:


And enjoy it, because that’s probably all we’ll get of Clark Kent in the costume until, as has been stated by folks on the show, the very end. An end that’s finally in sight, as the news is now out that the show is wrapping up next season.

What I am hoping for is that we get an episode or two (or maybe a two-hour series finale) of some honest-to-goodness Superman action rather than just a closing shot of Clark finally donning the familiar togs. That would be, I think, the proper payoff for 10 years of meandering and teasing and hints at his “ultimate destiny.” It’d be nice if Michael Rosenbaum would come back to reprise his role as Lex Luthor for the last episode, but I suspect they couldn’t pay him enough to shave his head again.

And while the show did improve a bit in the last couple of years…yeah, it’s goofy, but it’s a fun goofy, but I think enough’s enough at this point. It was probably enough several points ago. Plus, after this last year with Zod as the primary antagonist, I don’t think I ever need to hear the phrase “kneel…before Zod” ever again. Sorry, General.

Actress Allison Mack, who portrays the popular supporting character “Chloe Sullivan” (who has never made an appearance in the regular Superman comics, despite the occasional announcement), is apparently scaling back her participation in the final season, which may disappoint the folks who made this commercial.* I remember very early on thinking the eventual reveal would be that Chloe, to separate herself from her tabloid-esque beginnings, would change her professional name to “Lois Lane.” Luckily I don’t have a day job doing psychic predictions, though my accuracy rate is about the same.

So anyway…sorry to see you go, Smallville, but not too sorry. It is going to be a bit strange after next season to not have Smallville to kick around anymore, though I imagine there are plenty of people out there who probably thought it ended years ago.

Another superhero show that’s shuffled off this mortal coil is Heroes, which will not be returning next season, and nobody seems particularly torn up about it. Well, I suspect the cast and crew aren’t terribly pleased. And it is a bit of a shame, I think, since this last season was actually pretty good, with a creepy and occasionally oddly sympathetic antagonist (which resulted in this lawsuit, by the way).

I liked the cast, I like the interactions of the characters, and while the plots and events were pretty familiar to anyone who’s ever read a comic book ever, it was still fun to see it all played out in live action. There’s maybe a slight chance of a wrap-up movie to conclude everything, which would be nice (and probably would help the chances of continuing DVD sales, if people know there’s an actual conclusion to the story), but I’m not holding my breath.

• • •

Max Huffman, creator of the most excellent webcomic Mocktopus, needs help, as the laptop he uses to produce his comics has kicked the bucket, and needs a new one to continue gifting us with his art. If you go to this Kickstarter page, you can contribute to the cause and, for your trouble, get cool stuff! For a ridiculously low $5, you’ll get a signed custom sketch! (I’m totally asking for Swamp Thing.) So go help the kid out…he’s a good guy who does funny comics, and I’m sure we’d all would like to read more of them.

* I may have also contributed a bit of commentary about the commercial to pal Dorian‘s News Briefs over at the Bureau Chiefs site.

1. Yes, it was a good series. 2. No, it wasn’t hard to understand.

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Here’s another promotional badge (dated 1998) I never actually got around to wearing:


People still asked me about the series back then anyway. You can still ask me about it now, if you want, though keep in mind I haven’t read it in several years.

• • •

So The Bureau Chiefs, the crew behind Fake AP Stylebook, have finally started up an online store where you can buy shirts, mugs, buttons, and stickers featuring many popular Fake AP entries. (Including that one about “ATM Machines,” which I may have been responsible for.) Order often, order lots…I stand to make upwards of tens of cents off these things, so buy, buy, buy! More designs coming soon!

Life’s a never-ending wheel.

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So there I was, back in the mid-1980s, going with my friend Eric to pop into the local record store to buy a Dio album. Afterward, sitting in Eric’s car as we were headed back to his house, I decided to pull the record…yes, “record,” an actual platter inside a large cardboard sleeve…out of the bag to get a look at the cover art:


“My, that’s certainly something,” thought mid-80s Mike to himself.

I was not a diehard fan of Mr. Ronnie James Dio in that I didn’t loyally buy every single album he released, but I did appreciate his talent and songs from those two early albums, Holy Diver and The Last in Line, still remain constantly-replayed favorites on the ol’ iPod.

And this video…this video. I saw it all of once back in the ’80s, and never saw it again until I thought about searching for it on the YouTube, but for whatever reason, images from this particular music video remained stuck in my head for years. I mean, sure it’s completely ridiculous, and it looks like it had a budget of about three bucks:


…but it had Dio shocking a cyborg in the crotch with his handheld bug zapper, and friends, it doesn’t get much better than that. (Also, I think Star Trek: The Next Generation owes a wee bit of the Borg’s visuals to that video.)

So long, RJD. You contributed some much loved songs to the soundtrack of my life, and for that I’ll always be appreciative.

“Order proud!”

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This is a 1993 promotional card sent out to retailers plugging Wizard‘s tie-in to the whole “Death of Superman” brouhaha. The front is a shiny silver with embossed lettering, which is the sort of thing that never really comes through that well when I scan it, but you get the idea:


The back has all the important details you need to know:


In fairness, 1) it did have huge sales, but I’m not sure it was entirely due to whatever they were calling “foil covers” that week…frankly, it could have been a plain brown wrapper with stick figures drawn by the publisher’s 3-year-old nephew and it would have sold like gangbusters during the “Death of Superman” feeding frenzy; and 2) we did indeed sell every issue we ordered. Actually, as I recall this particular special was pretty good…lots of interviews and interesting features and, I have to admit, the cover was pretty snazzy.

Not sure what the whole “order proud!” thing was about, unless I’m not recalling our chests swelling with pride as we jotted down our numbers in the Previews order form. Ah, well.

Also, they used “its” when they meant “it’s.” C’MON, PEOPLE.

• • •

In totally unrelated news, I’d better note this article before my email box is filled with messages telling me about it:

“Justin Bieber to Star in Remake of Swamp Thing”

“‘We feel we had a lot to develop from Wes Craven’s original Swamp Thing,” said director Kenny Ortega, ‘Like more back-story on Dr. Alec Holland, or a more sinister Dr. Arcane, and, of course, more of Swamp Thing singing.'”