While I hurriedly replace all the hamsters in the wheels that run Progressive Ruin Industries, please enjoy this fine Sluggo-riffic post from that best of all little stuffed bulls, Bully. A finer hooved friend one cannot have.
And for those of you who have expressed concern…no, “technical difficulties” is not a euphemism for “Mike is sick…again.” It actually was a computer problem. Things are on their way to being back to normal after many hours of computer hoohar and an ill-advised purchase of a more powerful disk utility tool than the one provided with the system, which I ultimately ended up not really needing, but I guess I have it now just in case I ever do. Don’t make significant purchasing decisions with money you don’t really have at 1 in the morning when you’re exhausted and pissed at your computer, kids!
But at any rate, I’m at the point where the initial problem is resolved, and now I’m just restoring from back-ups and redownloading software and system updates and just plain getting everything back to where it was, so it should be business as usual sooner rather than later.
Thanks for your patience, and I’ll see you all tomorrow.
It’s time again for another entry in The End of Civilization, a once-classic, stand-alone, self-contained story since cheapened and undermined by an endless series of sequels and spinoffs. But the market demands more, so I must provide! Bust open your February 2012 edition of Diamond Previews, throw the Watchmen movie on the DVD player for a little background noise, and follow along:
p. 37 – Star Wars Omnibus Droids and Ewoks TP:
NOTICE: may not contain enough, or any at all, of this:
ALSO: Ewok stories may not contain sufficient amounts of Wilford Brimley. LET THE BUYER BEWARE.
p. 65 – Grendel Omnibus Vol. 1 Hunter Rose TP:
I’d like to think the last week or so of posts on my site had something to do with this…publishing lead times be damned.
p. 103 – Swamp Thing #8:
“Behold the terrifying true potential of the Swamp Thing — a form so fearsome we couldn’t put it on the cover!”
OH PLEASE OH PLEASE:
p. 196 – The Art of Being Spawn:
(CHEAP JOKE IN 3…2…)
Well, at least there’s some art involved somewhere with Spawn.
(CHEAP JOKE DEPLOYED. APOLOGIES TENDERED.)
p. 237 – Occupy Sesame Street T-Shirt:
Well, sure, why not.
p. 344 – Kinky Nylons SC:
Oh, hey, my new “Superheroines Pose Reference” art manual is in!
p. 344 – 100 Baddest Mother F****ers in Comics SC:
Yeah, that’s right.
p. 345 – The Avengers Kit:
“Congratulations, Hawkeye! You are now a full-fledged member of the Avengers!”
“Gee, what an honor!”
“Here is your membership pin…”
“Great!”
“Your Avengers manual…”
“Um, that’s kind of small.”
“…And your miniature Captain America figurine!”
“Wait, what? What do I need this f–”
“DON’T EVER LET US CATCH YOU WITHOUT LITTLE CAP.”
“Geez, okay!”
p. 352 – The Big Damn Firefly & Serenity Trivia Book SC:
Given that the likely market for this book practically wallows in Whedonverse minutia, I’m sure the writer of this book had a devil of a time coming up with real stumpers.
p. 362 – The Punisher “Double Fisted” Red All-Over-Print Previews Exclusive T-Shirt:
I have to admit, the name of this shirt evoked a different image than the one ultimately presented.
p. 365 – “Chillax” T-Shirt:
Seriously, is there a group of superheroes less “chillax” than the X-Men? …Then again, I’m only somewhat certain about the exact meaning of “chillax,” since I am old and am not hep to the slang of you young folks these days.
p. 367 – Joker Skinned T-Shirt:
“Hello! Do you have any t-shirts emblazoned with the most appalling Batman image in recent history?”
“Well, I do have shirt with ‘Are You Retarded? I’m the Godd…'”
“…No, no, I mean something really appalling.”
“Hmmm…okay, let me get the tongs and unseal the vault. Hold on a moment.”
p. 377 – Marvel Iron Man Neon Sign:
At last, my Red Skull with Manga Fox Mask display is finally available!
p. 382 – Avengers Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Action Figures:
I will pay One American Dollar if Captain America uses anything like that Shield Launcher in the movie. “HOLD ON, LET ME GET MY SHIELD GUN!” “Right on, Cap!”
p. 389 – Living Dead Dolls: Kick-Ass Hit Girl Doll:
I’m just going to say “Oh dear” and leave it at that.
p. 389 – Tonner Alice in Wonderland: Tarrant the Mad Hatter 8-Inch Doll:
No. Please stop.
p. 400 – Star Wars Dart Board:
Comes with bonus targets: Jar Jar, Anakin (Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen), that two-headed race announcer from Phantom Menace, Shooting-First Greedo, and maybe Lucas himself, but c’mon, surely you’ve forgiven him by now.
p. 403 – Elvis Presley ’68 Comeback Special ArtFX Figure:
Remember when girls would go so crazy when Elvis was onstage they’d cut off their own hands and throw them at him? Man, those were some wild days.
p. 411 – Ikki Tousen Shimei “Jake Version” PVC Figure:
“…Rival schools wage war against each other, influenced by powerful jewels that contain the spirits of legendary warriors.”
…Also, there are naked girls. Because when aren’t there.
p. 416 – Loki Mischief Cologne for Men:
Now, when I make the joke “oh, so that’s what happened to all the snake venom Sigyn collected in the bowl,” you know I’m making reference to the original Norse legends about Loki’s fate (bound beneath ground, venom dripping into his face, wife catches venom in bowl but must occasionally empty it out, allowing venom to hit Loki) and not actually casting any real aspersions upon what must certainly be a fine product, and oh God please don’t sue me I don’t have anything worth taking
p. 416 – Nick Fury Infinity Formula Cologne for Men:
Ah, this will go well with my Nick Fury Vision-Health Eye Drops.
So Greg, on the Twitter, pointed me in the direction of a couple of message board threads in which the Gelatinous Cube is discussed: first, it is wondered what a dead Cube would look like, and lo, it is revealed. Secondly, in another thread, the supposed origin of the Gelatinous Cube is dished out.
Bully, the Little Stuffed Bull, and his pal, Shelly the Little Otter Puppet, try out their new ping pong kit with adorably animated results. …Okay, not strictly speaking “comics,” but it’s awesome and you should go look anyway.
This week’s entry in pal Andrew’s ongoing Nobody’s Favorites is sure to honk off some of you. And I don’t use the phrase “honk off” lightly.
One thing I was pleased to discover in those unpublished Swamp Thing #25 pages [EDIT: dead link removed] is that I was at least partially correct about the story leading up to Alec Holland being able to switch back-and-forth from human to swampy form:
My belief was that Alec would be able to do this at will, but judging from what we can see in these pages, this is not the case. In fact, it seems that, as Swamp Thing, he becomes a mindless, rampaging monster:
…and that the transition from man to muck is apparently not under Holland’s control. So in a way, I guess that ol’ Man-Thing lettercol crack about Swamp Thing being “Hulklike” is…um, I guess sorta accurate in this case. Now, whether this is just a one-time thing, a shocked response to Alec suddenly becoming Swamp Thing again after his cure in issue #23, or whether this was a situation that Alec would eventually gain some control over in subsequent issues…the world may never know.
(In comics that were actually published — the Challengers of the Unknown, in fact — Alec just plain becomes Swamp Thing again, with no ability to change back, so that’s how that’s resolved in actual DC continuity. Pre-Crisis, Pre-Zero Hour, Pre-Infinite Crisis, Pre-Flashpoint continuity, that is.)
Also, it turns out that Alec’s brother Edward’s jealousy (the seeds of which were planted in #24, noted in this previously-linked post of mine with the terrible scans) takes a turn for…well, not so much the villainous as it is the dickish as he just straight-up lies to Hawkman:
The worst thing about looking at these original pages is the penciled-in prices at the top of most of them:
…ranging from $15 to $20. AAAAAUGH…those are prices even I could afford! …I suspect they’ll probably go for a bit more than that in that auction. …Hey, you guys know my birthday is coming up in just about a month and a half, right?
So since I’m sure you were wondering, I finally checked at the shop for those Grendel issues I skipped all those years ago, and it turned out we had them all save one. AUGH. …That’s okay, since the one we’re missing is easily obtainable on the eBay for next-to-nothing Buy It Now prices and usurious shipping costs, so I’ll get around to picking it up eventually.
I did finishing rereading the Christine Spar Grendel run (issues #1-#12 of the second Comico series, 1986-7), and…man, I’d forgotten about how crazy the Pander Brothers art was on this series. Well, okay, I actually hadn’t forgotten, but I was certain my memory of it was exaggerating just how out there it was, but nope, I was remembering it just about right. …That’s not a criticism of the art, by the way…it did take a little getting used to, and it is a bit on the wild side, but it would be hard to imagine this series drawn any other way.
I’m sure that’s just because I’ve had 25 years to let these comics swirl around in my head since I first read the things, but I do adore the look of these comics. It’s…well, it’s hard to explain, and I hope you folks understand what I’m getting at here, but in a strange way the art is both sort of dated and cutting edge at the same time. It has this retro “we have seen the future, and it is mid-’80s MTV videos for New Wave bands” look, while maintaining a level of fast-paced and occasionally shocking storytelling that compares favorably, if not surpasses, most superhero comic work on the shelves now.
Plus, those guys sure did like their big jackets:
Reader Tom commented on the “misplaced futurity” of this initial storyline, with the floating phones and flying cars and such. (It did get flatscreen TVs right, though, but that’s pretty much a gimme as far as tech predictions go…I mean, the viewscreen on Star Trek was pretty much a giant flatscreen.) It had me thinking about the exact timeframe for the story, which is mostly pinned on Spar’s comment in the first issue that television interviewer/personality Phil Donahue is “70, at least. More?” Since Donahue is 76 now, that puts the time of the story at about…well, today, or maybe within the last few years. Probably after 2004, as one of the supporting characters has a “FRANCE 2004” poster on his wall.
So yeah, flying cars aren’t commonplace in the real world, so Grendel‘s usefulness as an accurate indicator of social / technological development is pretty much nil. Sorry, gang! But seriously, would you want a world with flying cars? I’ve seen how people drive on the road, man…I wouldn’t want ’em in the skies.
Another thing that slipped my mind until I pulled these comics out for the Great 2012 Grendel Rereading Project was the fact that most issues of this particular series had wraparound covers. You can see the fronts of them here, but aside from this smallish scan of a later non-Pander issue, there doesn’t seem to be an online source showing the full covers. If there is one, someone out there let me know so I can point folks to those swell full images of the Pander Brothers’ work on the first twelve covers. (The rest are pretty good, too.)
EDIT: The comics.org link now has scans of the wraparound covers.
image from Grendel #5 (February 1987) by Matt Wagner, the Pander Brothers & Jay Geldhof
So a little bird tells me that original art from the unpublished issue #25 of the first Swamp Thing series has popped up on an auction site. Take a look at the Heritage Auctions site to finally, finallyget a glimpse of that Swamp Thing versus Hawkman battle we were originally promised over thirty years ago.
Speaking of lips, I like that the Joker’s only apparent cell decoration is a representation of his own smackers around his window:
Sure was nice of Arkham Asylum to paint up the Joker’s wall ‘specially for him. …Unless, of course, the Asylum staff wasn’t responsible for it, and the Joker just up and painted those lips himself…which raises the question what he painted them with, and frankly, we’re better off not knowing. (Maybe he sneaked in some fingerpaints from the patient activity room, but then I start wondering “whose fingers” and, well, there we go.)
images from DC Comics Presents #72 (August 1984) by Paul Kupperberg, Alex Saviuk & Dennis Jensen
So all this talk over the last few days about rereading your old comics, combined with a brief Twitter-chat with Awesome Hospital‘s Matt Digges, all on top of my finally rereading Mage: The Hero Defined (yes, I got around to it!), has put me in the mood to revisit Matt Wagner’s other major series Grendel.
My original exposure to the character of Grendel was as a back-up in the first Mage series, later collected in that graphic album I showed you two days ago. And then there was the forty-issue series from Comico, followed a few years later by multiple mini-series from Dark Horse, with the Devil’s Vagary one-shot from the Comico Collection and a Silverback mini-series (starring Grendel’s nemesis Argent) mixed in there, somewhere.
Also along the way, I’d acquired the original unfinished Grendel mini-series which was later retold in drastically different fashion in the Mage back-ups. I eventually sold those off, which I’m kind of sorry about, since I really did like those big, clunky black and white comics with their semi-amateurish but compelling covers…but they’ve all been collected, including the covers (and the actual debut of Grendel from Primer #2, which I never owned) into a hardcover, so maybe I’ll grab one of those to replace their loss.
Now, I’d read that forty-issue series, which picked up with the second Grendel (Christine Spar, “granddaughter” of the original Grendel Hunter Rose), which then proceeded to pass on the Grendel character to other characters as the series progressed, and the setting of the series was pushed farther and farther still into the future, and as that series ended and the continuity continued through the multiple Dark Horse minis…I eventually lost interest, it seemed. In fact, in a very rare occurrence in my years as a comics fan, I actually stopped reading the Grendel comics halfway through one of the mini-series (Devil’s Choices, from 1995).
Even though it’s been (urgh) seventeen years, I’m reasonably sure my decision to quit midway through that series had nothing to do with the solid creative team of Darko Macan and the late Edvin Biukovic, and more to do with just having had enough Grendel. Plus, the further away we got from Hunter Rose and Christine Spar, the less interest I had in the ongoing saga. However, now, with an impending rereading of all these Grendel comics planned, I find myself interested in picking up the last two issues of Devil’s Choices, as well as the two Grendel Tales minis that followed. In fact, I keep meaning to grab them at the shop, as soon as I (ha ha) have some free time at work.
My self-imposed Grendel hiatus was relatively short-lived, as just a few years later we returned to the Hunter Rose-era Grendel with the Black, White and Red anthology series, followed by another series in a similar vein a couple of years later, and a full-length Hunter Rose story in Wagner’s Behold the Devil mini in 2007-8. (In fact, I may have jumped ahead and reread that Behold the Devil mini Thursday evening, prior to writing this post.)
I enjoyed those later Hunter Rose minis. I liked the early stuff quite a bit, and I enjoyed most of the forty-issue series from Comico. …I honestly don’t recall how much I enjoyed (or didn’t enjoy) the follow-up Dark Horse Comics Grendel minis, as it’s been so long since I’ve read them. Thus, a good candidate for a rereading, I think.
So anyway, I’ve got my Grendel comics pulled out of the Vast Mikester Comic Archives, and they’re sitting here on my desk ready to be perused, and…hmmm, that’s like almost half a small comics box-worth pile of funnybooks, there. Thatsa lotta Grendel. …I’ll let you know how it goes.
This isn’t meant to be a comprehensive listing of every single Grendel comic, of course…there are the two Batman/Grendel minis, and that Devil’s Child mini from ’99 I somehow missed, and a Grendel novel…or two, maybe? I gotta do more research.
