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Okay, the “Subtext? What subtext?” thing is pal Dorian’s shtick, but I had to ask him if I could borrow it for this ad:

I was originally planning on some comment regarding how if you’re going to be wearing a t-shirt that reads “LION,” you’d better be tough enough to back it up, pal. But once I blew up this tiny ad to a viewable size…well, those are certainly some come-hither looks the two young men are throwing each other, while brandishing their ice cream cones suggestively.

…

Or, okay, maybe they’re just holding their ice cream cones, but still, there’s a story behind this presented scenario, I’m sure.

So, anyway, the new Star Trek movie.

Fun and exciting, with a spot-on cast…many excellent performances, but Karl Urban as McCoy nails it. The plot is a very basic combo of the vengeance seeking villain mixed with typical Trek time-travel shenanigans…I mean, even by Trek standards this plot is simplistic, but the time travel element this go-round provides the very foundation of this film’s reboot of the franchise, which is clever.

Yes, the science is a bit wonky, but frankly, if you’re looking to Star Trek for science, I’ve got some bad news for you. (And Phil Plait happily nitpicks away at the science, if it’s really bothering you.)

Overall, an excellent and enjoyable action film…the plot may be a bit on the light side, but it sufficiently serves as a framework for the real heart of TREK: the characters.

I have only a few SPOILER-ish notes and comments about the film, which follow right after this pic, and end after the next.

• I am going to assume the usage of the Beastie Boys song “Sabotage” during the scene with young Kirk in the stolen car is a direct reference to this famous Shatner outtake. (I mean, it has to be. I haven’t read any press on this film at all…is there any mention in interviews anywhere?)
• I like how the planet Vulcan is apparently entirely comprised of the should-be-familiar-looking Vasquez Rocks.
• I don’t know…I kinda enjoyed young, panicky, has Dave Foley’s hair from the Kids in the Hall King of Empty Promises sketch, Chekov. That they gave him…in fact, gave all the ensemble…plenty to do was very satisfying.
• So what was up with Planet Coincidence? Kirk just happens to land on that ice planet near where Old Spock is holed up, which is just a few kilometers away from Scotty? I suppose you need to, just to get the story moving along, but still.
• Nice shout-out to Admiral (formerly Captain) Archer from the last Trek series Enterprise. I haven’t worked out if the timeline fits, exactly but 1) the very nature of this film probably makes all previous timelines moot, and 2) I don’t want to be That Guy.
• Okay, so ultimately we’re left with an Earth-1 Star Trek, which is the timeline we’ve seen on TV and in the movies (and the merchandise, natch), and Earth-2 Star Trek, which is the new timeline we’ve got as a result of the time-traveling in this flick. And this has me wondering if we’re going to be seeing a new series of licensed Trek fiction based on the new timeline, and when the eventual crossover between the timelines will happen. (I mean, beyond the one that already happened in this movie.)

  I suppose, ultimately, there’s not that much of a difference between the two Treks, here, aside from some cosmetic changes, some changes in the personal histories of the characters, and…well, okay, the planet Vulcan being blown up might alter some scenes here and there. But that some difference has been established is enough for some hay to be made, I’m guessing.

  But, I swear to God, if any of you people start writing Young Spock/Old Spock slash fiction, I will hunt you down.

• And I certainly hope you all enjoyed our pal, comics aficionado Carla Hoffman‘s appearance in the film. Here comes your Oscar, Carla!

Okay, yeah, I didn’t have a lot to say about the film…I’ve no real complaints about it, and I thought it succeeded in its unenviable task of building on what came before, while not appearing uninviting to a new audience. A fresh start is what this franchise needed, after what seemed to be its slow circling of the drain, and the film seems to have delivered. Here’s hoping that the inevitable sequel, freed of its need to establish/explain the scenario, will be even better.

For more Trek reading:

• Pal Dorian is giving space to a series of posts about Star Trek to his pal John, starting right here, with more installments to follow. Specifically, John (and his co-writer) will be addressing the idea of “canon” in Trek, and how it’s unnecessary, if not downright harmful, to the show.

  John is one of the biggest Trek fans I know (and when we were hanging out together at a recent social function, I swear about 75% of our conversations were about Trek), so I’m very much looking forward to his essays.

• Kevin Church has some spoiler free thoughts about the film.
• Johanna has a few words on the film as well.

And that’s all I got, since I’ve been avoiding articles/spoilers/what have you since the film opened. Luckily, I only had to do the fingers-in-ears/”LA LA LA LA LA NOT LISTENING LA LA LA” thing once at the shop.

So, in conclusion…Star Trek: a very entertaining movie, and quite possibly a franchise-saving one. Glad to see people are taking to it as well as they are.

So I was processing a recently-acquired collection, which included a copy of Our Fighting Forces #134 (Nov/Dec 1971):

…and it made me wonder, just for a moment, if this was the first usage of the word “butt” on the cover of a mainstream comic. That is, “butt” in the context of directly referring to someone’s posterior, as opposed to the “butt of a cigarette” or “butt out!” or other usages.

I’m sure something like “move your butts, Easy Co.!” was shouted by Sgt. Rock on a cover at some point, but I’ve done absolutely zero, zilch, nada research on this, so I’m depending on your memories. Has the word “butt” (in the context of referring to, if I may use the medical term, the “ass”) been used on a mainstream comic cover prior to this issue? This vital question must be answered!

Well, okay, maybe not. But this is the kind of thing that floats through my mind as I’m robotically processing, bagging, and tagging old funnybooks. The brain goes weird places sometimes.

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I’m not sure how the conversation eventually got to this point, but these were the words spoken in our shop a few short weeks ago:

EMPLOYEE AARON: “Hey, Mike, if Carol Channing were a member of one of the Lantern Corps, what color would she be?”

ME: “Why, she’d be a Raaaaaaasssspberry Lantern, of course!”

EMPLOYEE AARON: “…I’m going to need a raise.”

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TWITTER SHENANIGANS: So a couple of days ago I started a series of “Stan Lee Porn” posts on the Twitter (starting with this post, though Tom Peyer actually came up with the Twitter-searchable #stanleeporn hashtag). And yesterday, because I was feeling especially sarcastic, I started #savecomics, with many impractical and smart-alecky ideas for this industry I’ve found myself working in. A couple of people took it a little more seriously than it was intended, I think, but it was some goofy fun at any rate.

So there you go. If you didn’t like me taking part in pal Dorian’s Uncomfortable Plot Summaries, you’re certainly not going to like any of the above. But it was all in fun…and hey, sometimes I need to vent, and I can’t always beat the employees.

Anyway, in conclusion, I refer you to this.

TWITTER: Destroying modern discourse one 140-character smart-ass message at a time.

A brief exchange with Kevin Church on the Twitter (starting with this post) reminded me of the awesomeness that is DC Comics Presents #4 (Dec. 1978). It’s Superman and the Metal Men, written by Len Wein and drawn by Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez:

There’s a whole lot goin’ on in these three panels, it’s hard to say where to begin. The Metal Men are all so expressive, and Superman has that great “pleased to meet you”/embarrassed-by-the-hero-worship look on his face. I think my favorite bits, though, include the exchange he has with Tin, as well as Dr. Klyburn of S.T.A.R. Labs admonishing Supes just a bit.

Also via Kevin, I learned that a sample of Mister Garcia-Lopez’s Metal Men strip for the forthcoming Wednesday Comics weekly book is up on DC Comics’ weblog, and you can see the penciled page (prior to Kevin Nowlan’s inks) right here.

So I was interviewed recently for the long-running Kirk-centric Star Trek podcast Look at His Butt by the show’s lovely and charming hosts Lene and the possibly-pseudonymous Jungle Kitty. No, don’t worry, no butts are discussed, least of all mine, but we do talk Trek for about 20 minutes, discussing my thoughts on the new movie, merchandise past and present, the Trek funnybooks, and so forth. (I totally blanked on who was publishing what Trek reprints in trade paperback form, so please excuse my errors.)

Anyway, I’m no good at extemporaneous speaking for things like this, but if think you can handle my word salad-esque babbling, you may find the podcast here. Please feel free to give it a download and a listen. And thanks again to the ladies for inviting me on…this really is one of my favorite podcasts, and it was both fun and a bit strange to have these familiar voices suddenly talking to me!

• Reader Gary clarifies just what was going on with those issues of Annihilation involving other rival godlike beings competing with Galactus…apparently not people from his homeworld stored in that cylinder. It’s amazing the things I find myself typing on this site.
• The Churchmonster has started his spin-off strip from The Rack, which stars longtime supporting character Lydia. Nice art by Max Riffner…go check it out.
• Somehow I neglected to mention the “Rebuild Len Wein’s Comic Collection” project, replacing books lost in his recent home fire. Details on how and what to donate are at the link.
• Tim talks about the fact that there aren’t a whole lot of the “old guard” of comic bloggers still standing, from that particular wave that included Tim, myself, and pal Dorian. One of these days, with my copious amounts of free time, I should take a look and see who is still around from the days when I first started my site. I think there may be more than we initially suspect. Also, it feels weird that I’m an “old guard” comics blogger…there are plenty of people who’ve been at it much longer, I know (like the all-powerful Neilalien), but I guess 5+ years is nothing to sneeze at, either.
• Speaking of pal Dorian…in a shocking change of pace, he presents provocative pictures of pretty women in his latest Doctor Who post.
• Please continue putting your Free Comic Book Day thoughts in this comments section…I’ll be addressing them soon, honest.

Congratulate the man at Postmodernbarney.com.

Just thought somebody should mention it.

from Star Trek #25 (July 1974) – scan courtesy of Kevin Church,
so I didn’t have to bust the spine on my copy of Enterprise Logs #3 to get the pic

Or maybe Spock was simply trying to fit in, and he was doing this completely insincere and creepy robotic laugh to show Kirk that he was totally down with his Earth humor based on embarrassment and humiliation.

At any rate, I certainly hope Scotty reported this to Space Human Resources. Or kept this little incident in mind the next time Kirk hit him up for some hooch.

So my dad was cleaning his garage and found a few old boxes of my stuff, and he gave me call and asked me to come by and pick ’em up if I wanted them. Mostly it was a bunch of old books (which doesn’t surprise me) and binders of trading cards (which DID surprise me, since I thought I had them all at my house, but apparently were stored there during one of my moves years ago).

Anyway, I brought the boxes back home and started sorting through them…and found a few things of interest. For example, I totally thought I’d long ago sold off those Doctor Who books I mentioned in this post, but nope — here they are:

Well, that’s a picture of a couple of them, anyway. There were about a dozen in one of these boxes, but it seemed like I had a lot more of these at the time. Heck, maybe I do…there’re still quite a few boxes left to go through in my parents’ garage. I think I’m going to give some of these a quick rereading now that I’m a little more up on my Who.

Another book I found was this slim volume of Star Trek stories from 1982:

“Travel with your favorite Star Trek II characters into six new and original short stories written especially for you!” …For me? Aw, you shouldn’t have! I like how it’s specifically Star Trek II stories, since, you know, the movie an’ all. I suppose the stories take place in more or less the same timeframe, but a quick flip-through doesn’t reveal anything specifically tied to the second film (like any mentions of Khan or Saavik or anything). I could be wrong.

The back cover does have this great shot of Scotty and his mesmerizing Space Moustache:

GAZE INTO MY MOUSTACHE AND KNOW FEAR
Had a handful of books like these in the boxes as well:

Man, I sure liked reading about video games. Now, I wasn’t one of those kids who obsessed about getting high scores and perfecting my gameplay or anything. I just liked reading about video games, about the mechanics of the games, about games on other systems, about arcade games I haven’t seen yet, and so on. Still do, in fact…a link to this very technically detailed examination of Pac Man made the rounds again recently, and I found myself sucked into it again.

So, yeah, I’ve got a few of these books floating around in my possession. I’m looking forward to rereading these now that I’ve got them in my hands again.

Okay, now for some of the trading cards…there were about a half dozen thick binders of these, which included all my Marvel Universe cards, my Death of Superman set, the first TSR Dungeons & Dragons set (not quite sure why I have those), and many others. I can see why I had most of the sets in these binders, but I really have no idea why I have a full set of Home Improvement cards:

I mean, I liked the show and all, but still…seriously, how does a thing like this happen?

I even have a full set of the special removable “static cling” cards:

Hmmm…”Big Tool.” Yeah, I think that’s a fairly good self-assessment. I was really into the trading card thing at one point in my life, and there was a time or two when I didn’t show a whole lot of…discretion, shall we say.

However, I have absolutely no regrets about owning these:

Superman III trading cards, baby. A full set, including stickers. I can feel your jealousy over the intertubes.

And one more item from Mike’s Boxes of Mystery: I realize this may slightly contradict my previous claim that I wasn’t a video game score hound, but, you know, Activision used to offer prizes for people who scored a certain number of points (or otherwise achieved some specific goal) on their games, and if I managed to get that score, I certainly wanted my prize. Usually it was a sew-on patch (and I collected…and still have…a few of those), but for their Stampede game, you still got a patch, but you also got one of these:

That would be a genuine metal Stampede buckle, my friends, still in the original cellophane wrapper. The 40 year old me is thinking “put this on eBay,” but the 12 year old me is saying “PUT THAT BAD BOY ON A BELT.”

I think the 12 year old me is going to win.

This was a promo giveaway for the Legion of Super-Heroes, 1st reboot version, from 1997. The sheet is 5 inches by 8 inches, with each sticker about an inch on each side, and drawn by (I think) Jeffrey Moy.

You know, looking at this…I kinda miss Gates (fifth row down, second from right), though he’s been popping up in the kinda missing-in-action Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds mini-series. (Speaking of which…how weird is that going to look on the rack when the next issue comes out? It’s almost going to be like seeing a new comic with the old “Atlantis Attacks!” crossover banner on it.)

Also, that Proty sticker in the lower left hand corner? I think you’ll agree with me that it’s completely awesome.