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From the back room of misfit toys.

§ September 3rd, 2012 § Filed under misfit toys § 12 Comments

Well, technically, today’s toy isn’t from the back room, where lurk even more toys both terrifying and depressing, but from a collection essentially dumped on us at the shop about a week ago.

I generally don’t buy secondary-market toys for the shop from collections. I mean, if something really cool and hard-to-find came in, sure, I’d buy it. But alas, like an old man telling me he has 1940s comics for sale and I look in the box and it’s Bloodlines annuals, every time I’m told “I have a bunch of really old toys for sale” it’s an endless parade of Spawn action figures. And frankly, the one endless parade of Spawn action figures already residing in our storage is enough, thank you.

Old McFarlane figures are very hard sells…well, I mean, there are the “hot” figures, only distributed one per case, or the few sets where most of the figures do command some collector interest. But 99% of the time, it’s, like, this guy. And even the Spawn figures from the very first series, which you’d think would be sought after, took literally years to sell after we picked up a few in a collection, mostly because, compared to the newer Spawn lines, that first series looks tame and unimpressive.

So, yeah, I don’t tend to buy a lot of old toys. But like I said way back when, back in the ancient times up there at the beginning of this post, I recently ended up with a handful of McFarlane figs, and I now have to figure out what to do with them. By which I mean, “throw on the eBay with low starting bids.” And as McFarlane figures go…these might sell. The Blair Witch and Candyman figures seem to get a variety of prices on eBay, and this Kaneda Akira figure hopefully will sell…but I remember having all these before and not having much auction luck with them. But, who knows, maybe things are slightly different now. And it’s not like I have a whole lot of money tied up in them.

And then there’s this figure:

Yup, Todd McFarlane his own self, immortalized in plastic and, once upon a time in the late 1990s, available exclusively through his Collector’s Club thingie. And sure, one could make fun, but I tell you, if I had my own action figure company, you’re darned tootin’ I’d have a figure made of myself. “ACTION MIKE, with Diet Coke and Stylish Toupée Accessories.”

Anyway, get a load of this handsome bastard:

The included “sketch” features a message with which we, as a people, can all agree:

And here is a close-up of one of his powerful gloved hands, which I’m featuring for no good reason beyond being amused at the idea that he’s out there street-fighting when not managing his Spawn empire:

So, yeah, ol’ Todd’s goin’ on the eBay, where, judging by past performance there, I might get a sawbuck. Or maybe some Loonies. Who can say?

Before you ask…no, I don’t know why Todd’s face is all slashed and blood-splattered on the figure’s backing. …Other than meeting certain levels of expectation, I suppose.

Please tell me you didn’t do this.

§ May 15th, 2012 § Filed under freak out, misfit toys, star wars § 15 Comments







Context, if you insist.

From that other store’s boxes of misfit toys.

§ December 6th, 2011 § Filed under misfit toys § 6 Comments

So here’s a thing I didn’t know existed until it turned up in these boxes of another store’s stock we recently acquired:

The Manara Game (published in 2000) uses the artwork of Italian comics creator Milo Manara, and if you’re not familiar with the man’s work, you can see some generally not-safe-for-work samples right here. And, as one might expect, the game itself uses some not-safe-for-work artwork, though here I present a few cards that are somewhat less naughty:

The came is comprised of 54 regular cards (9 groups of six, each group with a different colored border), and a “special card” that features an image of Manara’s signature and, of course, a nekkid lady. The point of the game is shuffling and swapping the cards around with the goal of getting three of the same color group in your hand, the specific rules of which I won’t get into here. And I’m not entirely sure what purpose the Manara signature card serves…it seems like if anyone gets it, you just get dealt another card, and you keep the card for an extra point when scores are tallied, I think.

And then, keeping with the overall theme of nakedness on most of the cards, the endgame is as follows:

“Once the points have been added up it must be established how many articles of clothing each opponent must remove. Each player must remove as many articles of clothing as the difference between the points he or she has scored and those scored by the winner.

“It’s up to you to decide how far you want to go to establish when the game ends and if you want to play another game.”

Er, yeah. So much for playing this at the family Christmas gathering, I guess.

It’s a nice looking game, at least…the cards are attractive, with some well-chosen imagery. Not just of naked gals, as I said, but there is the occasional naughty nun, so your mileage may vary. And here is the card back:

And that’s the Manara Game, which just goes to show me that I can still be surprised by things in the comics industry. Also, I forgot to mention that one of the rules of the game is that when you get your three of a kind, you’re supposed to call out “Manara!” I find this hilarious for no reason I can easily pin down.

From the backroom of misfit toys.

§ November 28th, 2011 § Filed under misfit toys, wolverine § 3 Comments

Well, it’s not really a “toy” as the term is generally used, and it’s not an item that’s been sitting around in our backroom for years and years (it’s from a box of another store’s stock dumped at our shop), so I’m abusing the title a bit, I guess. But it’s certainly a misfit item:

I don’t know if anyone’s still doing the mini CD-ROM “multimedia collector cards” thing, but I seem to recall a number of releases along these lines about ten years ago. (My particular favorites were the randomly-packed “chase card” die-cut CD-ROMs that came with this Star Trek set.)

Anyway, as it says there, the CD (dated 2002) contains screen savers and desktop pics and “hotlinks to websites” that are probably defunct (aside from, if it’s there), and “Motion Comics,” which, sight unseen, I can safely guess are likely terrible.

And it’s in the 3-inch format, so you gotta tray-load this sucker:

…which means, even if I wanted to open the package and check it out (which I’m not, since I’m throwing this bad boy on the eBay) I can’t put this in the front-loading slot drive on my Mac. I suppose I could bust out the old 3-inch CD adapter plastic ring (originally bought back in — ’87? — to play the original They Might be Giants “Don’t Let’s Start” 3-inch C-Dingle on my first CD player) but I wouldn’t want to run the risk of the disc coming loose from the adapter and spending the rest of the day trying to fish it out and boy am I on a tangent.

This is the first of a planned six, it seems:

“Collect all VI.” Oh you guys. Anyway, a brief Googling only turns up this same disc, so maybe that’s all that came out? I’m sure if someone out there did buy all VI, they’ll let me know.

From the backroom of misfit toys.

§ January 31st, 2011 § Filed under misfit toys § 6 Comments

So we have a few of these still sittin’ around the shop…pop-out mini cardboard stand-ups of assorted media properties:

…including both “live action” and animated versions of dinosaurs from Jurassic Park (though technically the live action versions were animated, but you get the idea).

Anyway, I had bit of a long Sunday, so I’m sorta Low-Content-Mode-ing it today with these close-up scans of some choice pop-up standees. Please enjoy, and I’ll be back tomorrow.

By the way, when is Tim Burton ever going to get around to that Planet of the Apes sequel? I keep waiting for a follow-up to that exciting cliffhanger ending!

From someone else’s backroom of misfit toys.

§ December 14th, 2010 § Filed under misfit toys § 10 Comments

So I was doing my usual retail tour in my not-yet-panicking-but-soon rounds of Christmas shopping, and I made one of my two-or-three times yearly visits to the local giant toy store franchise. And of course, I found myself by that one shelf in the action figure aisle set aside for those toys forgotten by both God and man…prices usually slashed, sometimes not (though the price cut is inevitable, as the dust piles upon them, the packages worn from handling). Here are a few that caught my eye:

Hellboy II: Princess Nuala:

That was the first one to grab my attention. There sure were a lot of these on the shelves (along with one figure of that goblin in the cart). Nicely done action figure, but overlooked in favor of Hellboy, Abe Sapien, and the other monster figures, I’m guessing. Or just overproduced for assortments.

Heroes: Exploding Man Peter:

Handful of these warming the pegs…good luck moving this hideous thing now that the series has been over for a year, and not liked for nearly four years.

The Jonah Hex movie action figures:

Surprisingly, there were a bunch of the Megan Fox figures on the shelves, and only a couple of the Jonah Hex and Turnbull. These figures didn’t look too bad, actually…unlike the movie, which was too long even at 72 minutes.

The Spirit – The Octopus action figure:

As the only person on the planet who liked the movie, that essentially makes me the one-man target audience for this action figure, and I still didn’t buy it. But it’s pretty amazing, I have to admit.

Watchmen Kubrick sets:

Two sets, three figures each, $19.99 a pop. Dr. Manhattan sees a price reduction in these items’ futures.

And this next item wasn’t a leftover toy, I don’t think…it was on the shelf facing the previous toys, and looked like it was still part of an active line. I’d known about it, but this was the first time I’d seen in person the giant f’-off Marvel Universe Galactus figure:

It’s ginormous, stupid, and beautiful, all at the same time. It’s also fifty bones, which, alas, I wasn’t about to drop when I’m shopping for presents for other folks.

Other figures from the land of unloved toys: a bunch of Prince of Persia figures, from a film which is pretty much done and gone now; those 3 1/2 inch figures from the Star Trek reboot movie, which seem so quaint and backwards now that most figures are larger and more detailed; and the Tron: Legacy figures, which…whoops, sorry, those weren’t on the close-out shelves. Getting ahead of myself, there.

From the backroom of misfit toys.

§ November 28th, 2010 § Filed under misfit toys, statues, wolverine § 8 Comments

So it turns out we had one of these hiding in the backroom…a Wolverine Vs. Sabretooth statue:

One would hope that this will look a little less…suspect once the packing foam is removed from between the figures:

“NO! Bad dogs! Leave the beanbag chair alone!”

From the back room of misfit toys.

§ August 11th, 2010 § Filed under misfit toys § 2 Comments

In case the regular Ghost action figure released in 1998didn’t float your boat, there were two variants to choose from:

The glow in the dark version:

…and the chrome version:

Now, I can sort of understand the glow in the dark version, since that kind of ties in to that spiritual, ethereal presence that a ghost is alleged to have. You know, that spooky haint shinin’ in the darkness type of thing. But I can’t say I recall too many stories of ghosts metal-ing it up Colossus-style. Maybe I missed something in my Coast to Coast AM newsletters.

From the back room of misfit toys.

§ June 22nd, 2010 § Filed under misfit toys § 8 Comments

I’ll probably have some follow-ups to comments from yesterday’s post in the next day or two, but in the meantime:

Ooh, the Sentry. That’s a shame. But at least he’s paired up with his best pal, Luke Cage! And I know this is no original observation, but something about seeing the Sentry in Minimate form sorta emphasizes it for me…he really doesn’t look like he belongs in the Marvel Universe, does he? That’s totally a DC Comics-type superhero outfit. But at least he’s in a superhero outfit, Mr. Cage.

And seriously, the no-nose look?

Disturbing as all get-out. And the Pac-Man hands, too. AAAUGH.

(Not exactly) from the Back Room of Misfit Toys…

§ June 16th, 2010 § Filed under misfit toys § 6 Comments

…in that this is part of a collection that someone dropped off at the shop:

Even though we’d since given up carrying McFarlane Toys (after too many series of selling the one figure from the set everyone wanted and having to blow out the rest of the shelf-warmers at bargain prices), I remembered that we did carry this particular “Six Faces of Madness” series, featuring such charming folks as Attila the Hun and Elizabeth Bathory. However, I did not recognize the “Accessory Pack,” which, since it says right there “Collector’s Club,” was apparently only available via mail order from the manufacturer. (The webpage for this particular item lists where you can buy (or rather, where you could buy) the toy, but I think that’s just a boilerplate for the series in general, and not this item specifically. Someone can correct me if I’m wrong.)

Here’s a better look at the fine selection of tchotchkes available in this assortment:

That you get an actual chunk of a body on a stake is kind of funny in a gruesomely over-the-top way. And as a pal pointed out when I showed this to him, Attila gets kind of screwed in the accessory department. I mean, everyone else get guns or lab equipment or a custom base or…a lamppost for Jack the Ripper? Well, it’s thematically appropriate, at least, and I suppose it was either that or a piece of a prostitute. Anyway, Attila gets diddly squat. Which, you know, it’s fine. Attila’s a travelin’-light kind of guy, he doesn’t need any special treatment. I-it’s (sniff) it’s okay.

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