From someone else’s backroom of misfit toys.
So I was doing my usual retail tour in my not-yet-panicking-but-soon rounds of Christmas shopping, and I made one of my two-or-three times yearly visits to the local giant toy store franchise. And of course, I found myself by that one shelf in the action figure aisle set aside for those toys forgotten by both God and man…prices usually slashed, sometimes not (though the price cut is inevitable, as the dust piles upon them, the packages worn from handling). Here are a few that caught my eye:
Hellboy II: Princess Nuala:
That was the first one to grab my attention. There sure were a lot of these on the shelves (along with one figure of that goblin in the cart). Nicely done action figure, but overlooked in favor of Hellboy, Abe Sapien, and the other monster figures, I’m guessing. Or just overproduced for assortments.
Heroes: Exploding Man Peter:
Handful of these warming the pegs…good luck moving this hideous thing now that the series has been over for a year, and not liked for nearly four years.
The Jonah Hex movie action figures:
Surprisingly, there were a bunch of the Megan Fox figures on the shelves, and only a couple of the Jonah Hex and Turnbull. These figures didn’t look too bad, actually…unlike the movie, which was too long even at 72 minutes.
The Spirit – The Octopus action figure:
As the only person on the planet who liked the movie, that essentially makes me the one-man target audience for this action figure, and I still didn’t buy it. But it’s pretty amazing, I have to admit.
Watchmen Kubrick sets:
Two sets, three figures each, $19.99 a pop. Dr. Manhattan sees a price reduction in these items’ futures.
And this next item wasn’t a leftover toy, I don’t think…it was on the shelf facing the previous toys, and looked like it was still part of an active line. I’d known about it, but this was the first time I’d seen in person the giant f’-off Marvel Universe Galactus figure:
It’s ginormous, stupid, and beautiful, all at the same time. It’s also fifty bones, which, alas, I wasn’t about to drop when I’m shopping for presents for other folks.
Other figures from the land of unloved toys: a bunch of Prince of Persia figures, from a film which is pretty much done and gone now; those 3 1/2 inch figures from the Star Trek reboot movie, which seem so quaint and backwards now that most figures are larger and more detailed; and the Tron: Legacy figures, which…whoops, sorry, those weren’t on the close-out shelves. Getting ahead of myself, there.
The problem with that Galactus is all the weird little embellishments they have to put on the figure to make it look all high-tech and space-age. Galactus has a relatively simple design – putting all the extra lights and wiring on the costume just sort of subtracts from something that should be an imposing physical presence.
Wow, taking this too seriously, am I.
I think it’s because the Megan Fox figure’s face looks like a caricature of one of those Real Housewives women.
Speaking of grotesque, what is it with the Kubricks? Who is collecting these things?
So can you get a set of Kubricks Kubricks? Li’l Jack Torrence? Li’l Alex?
Li’l Barry Lyndon? Li’l HAL? Cause I’d buy them.
Clearly, “exploding man peter” should reside next the copies of “giant size man thing.”
^ add a “to” in there
Amazon was selling the Big G for $20 last night. Almost pulled the trigger until I saw all that extra stuff on him. I’ll stick to my Marvel Legends version.
I never realized Galactus was such a wasp-waisted fellow. In fact, he looks narrower through the middle than Megan Fox.
He’s been sticking to low-fat worlds lately.
“Dr. Manhattan sees a price reduction in these items’ futures.”
What, nobody’s geeked out and said that no, actually, to Dr. Manhattan’s perceptions, the price reduction is happening *right now*?
I’m not gonna lie…I’d buy a reasonably-priced minimate Rorschach. “Who’s a cute little vigilante? Who? Is it you? Is it you???”