Mikester

Thor #303 (Marvel Comics, Jan 1981) – cover by Mike Zeck

The story (“The Miracle of Storms” by Doug Moench, Rick Leonardi, and Chic Stone) opens with Thor witnessing an apparent mugging in process…he quickly moves into action, chasing off the assailants:







Thor tends to the victim, and discovers that said victim is a priest, in dire need of medical attention. Thor takes him to the priest’s own church (presumably just nearby), whereupon he transforms back into his mortal identity, Dr. Don Blake. As Blake, he gives the priest the medical attention he needs…and when the priest revives, he tells Blake that those weren’t muggers at all. In fact, they were enforcers for a local mobster — Angelo Simoni…there’s a joke in that last name somewhere — trying to drive the priest out so that the church can be torn down and the land developed for Simoni’s financial benefit.

The priest’s faith is shaken, by the threats and by the church’s own dwindling attendance, and believes that it would be better just to sell out to the mobster. He then tells Blake that, as he was reviving, he had believed the doctor to be a divine vision, to which Blake says:

Uh, right, Don, way to win the man’s confidence. Anyhow, Blake splits, turns back into Thor, and tracks down the mobster that’s been giving the good father such grief. Long story short, Thor trashes Simoni’s place, extracting a promise from the mobster that he’ll leave the priest alone. However, there’s a complication…Simoni reveals “I already sent some guys to — firebomb [the church]!”

Back at the church in question, the priest is giving some council in his office to a pregnant woman, apparently trying to talk her out of an abortion (really, I’m not kidding), when he hears some activity elsewhere in the building. As he investigates the bombs go off, enveloping the church in a raging conflagration. Driven outside by the flames, the priest realizes that he has left the pregnant woman behind, locked in his office…and he hasn’t the courage to go back to rescue her. He kneels and begs God for strength, whereupon Thor arrives to work up a storm to squelch the fire. The priest looks up, sees Thor silhouetted by lightning and fire, and takes that for the divine sign he needed to get his butt back in the building to save that poor woman.

However, even with the flames now subdued by the rainstorm Thor created, the building begins to collapse upon itself. Trying to bring the woman to safety, a task made even more difficult by the injuries he sustained from his attack earlier, the priest finds himself threatened by the imminent collapse of a wall. Luckily, Thor arrives just in the nick of time:

Bracing the wall with the giant cross, the priest begins to wonder if he was worshipping the wrong god…to which Thor has this very politic reply:







Still bracing the wall, Thor extolls the priest to “save yourself, and the woman! You can! You have the faith! You have the strength! Go! Do it!” Despite his injuries, the priest finds the inner strength to lift up the woman and escape the ruined church.

Encouraged by his rediscovered faith, the priest swears to rebuild his church, though as the clean-up begins the next day he realizes it will take a miracle to obtain the sufficient funds for the repairs. Even as he ponders this, he receives a surprise visitor. It’s the very mobster that tried to drive him out…Angelo Simoni!

Holding the bag of loot, which I’m sure the Feds wouldn’t be interested in at all, the priest is left to wonder what could have caused this man to turn from his wicked ways. He then notices Thor on a nearby building overlooking the scene…and for the second time in this story, the priest takes a Norse god as a sign from his own Christian God that everything will be just fine.

And that, my friends, is your just slightly confusing religious message for the day. Happy Easter!

I found a charming post on a comic book message board, where, in response to someone noting Alan Moore’s appreciation for classic super heroes, said something along the lines of Moore crapping (well, actually, “shitting”) on the superhero genre at every opportunity.

Wha huh? This person must never have read any Alan Moore comics. Ever. I really don’t get this attitude…every time a comic writer tries something new, different, and/or interesting within the confines of the superhero genre, reactionary fans get all up in arms about the “horrors” being perpetrated on their favorite characters. Moore and Grant Morrison seem to be regular targets, even though it escapes me how someone can read any of their superhero works and not feel the love that permeates each script. Watchmen really seems to set people off, especially among those people who don’t realize that it’s a comic about superheroes, not a superhero comic. (Yes, there’s a difference.) Any critique, any change, any deconstruction…it’s an “attack” because they “hate” superheroes.

Anyway, I hereby sentence that person to reread Whatever Happened to The Man of Tomorrow until he finally gets it.

You wanna read a superhero comic by people who actually do hate superheroes? Try the always-excellent Marshal Law by Pat Mills and Kevin O’Neill.

In the early 80s, DC Comics released one of my all time favorite Superman stories: The Phantom Zone. Writer Steve Gerber and artists Gene Colan and Tony DeZuniga brought us what may very well be the only effective Superman horror story ever published. You finally get the feeling that the Phantom Zone villains are evil, frightening monsters who deserve to be trapped in this disembodied state, instead of just no-goodniks who would occasionally give Supes a little bit of grief. You get a history of the Zone in the first issue, along with a look at the stories behind the criminals imprisoned there…and over the course of the series you get an exploration of what exactly comprises the Zone itself. I don’t want to go into too much detail, as I would prefer that you read the story yourself…I will say that it follows up on a former Phantom Zone prisoner that first appeared in a story from Superman #157 (pictured above, on the left). You also get, in this mini, a Superman pushed over the edge by anger and frustration…which was quite a shock to this 13-year-old reader at the time, accustomed as I was to the more staid Silver/Bronze Age Superman.

A sequel to the The Phantom Zone mini-series, written by Gerber and illustrated by Rick Veitch, appeared in the last issue of DC Comics Presents…the last of the “original” Superman stories (along with Alan Moore’s two-part “Whatever Happened to The Man of Tomorrow” story) prior to John Byrne’s revamping of the character. It’s on par with the horrific level of the mini-series…you’ll not soon forget the rain of Argo City‘s ruins (along with dead Kryptonian bodies) crashing down upon Metropolis.

Anyway, what with Gerber currently producing the new Hard Time series for the DC Focus line, I thought this particular mini-series and issue of DCCP (along with the 10-page story from the 60s) would make a nice little trade paperback collection for DC to release. Not likely, I know…we’re probably more likely to see a more general-purpose Phantom Zone collection focusing on Silver Age stories, but it would be nice. This really was one of the best Superman stories, and I hate to see it languish forgotten in the back-issue bins.

A few words about this week’s comics:

New X-Men/Uncanny X-Men: oh, Marvel’s still publishing X-Men books? Wonder why they’re bothering.

Plastic Man #5: this comic gets better and better with each succeeding issue. PM’s hapless sidekick Woozy is still dead, apparently…though I’m sure we’ll see him get better sooner or later. And if that isn’t one of the more disturbing covers you’ve seen lately…sheesh.

Alter Ego #35: Number 35!!?! Hokey smokes! …Anyway, this issue has a nice long interview with Al Jaffee, known by most people for his Mad Magazine Fold-Ins (and his Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, and his great inventions, and “Hawks & Doves”). However, he was also a prolific Timely Comics artist and discusses that work in this interview. And I also share my birthday with him, just for your information.

Supreme Power #9: I haven’t been picking this series up, though I have been flipping through the issues as they’ve been coming in the store…the fact that I’ve continued flipping through the issues probably means I should have just been out-and-out reading it from the beginning. Ah, well, that’s what trades are for, I guess. I did want to point out what must certainly be an unintentional similarity between this issue and issue…#4?…of Miracleman, with the superpowered being (Hyperion/Miracleman) calmly walking through the ineffective defenses around a government compound to discover the secrets about his origin waiting within. Again, I’m sure this was just a coincidence, and just the result of my having read too many darn comics and thus able to notice these kind of similarities.

Sandman Presents: Thessaly Witch for Hire: I hope these Thessaly comics continue as a semi-regular thing…a mini-series every couple years would be enough, so long as Bill Willingham and Shawn McManus stay on as the storytellers.

Swamp Thing #2: discussed last week, though I hope some of you long-time Swampy readers now see what I mean when I said the beginning of the book felt like it was from the Rick Veitch run.

Punisher: The End: I can’t improve on the perfection of Pop Culture Gadabout‘s description of this comic being like one of the Tom Veitch/Greg Irons EC Comics-esque undergrounds. That’s exactly what it feels like. Granted, that’s a tough way for me to describe it to some of our customers (“It’s just like Two-Fisted Zombies!” “Uh, what?”) but that’s really an on-the-nose take on this book. And yes, it’s really good.

Yet another back room item for your amusement…a shipping envelope for Marvel’s in-house fanzine Foom, from 1975. The Hulk’s mouth is where the mailing address would be written. (I edited out the address in this image.)

Henry #57 (Dell Comics, 1959)

1. Let us give a hearty fare-thee-well to The Comics Burrito!

2. An informal survey of friends, acquaintances, and other people whom I felt I could annoy has shown a slight favoring of Superman II over the first Superman film. As for why this would be (aside from all of them being high), all I can figure is that, as an action film, the second is more satisfying than the first. It’s hard to top that all-out battle between Supes and the Phantom Zone villains.

Though I wonder how many people who think that II is the better film have actually seen the films recently. I know that I had always thought the two were on par with each other, until I watched the DVDs that were released a year or so ago. I hadn’t seen either film in quite a long time…and I was surprised by how poorly II compared to the first film, both on a technical level and a writing level.

2a. A couple friends had expressed preference for III…I have not seen that film in a long time, and was the only Superman film I didn’t see in the theatre. I sorta get the feeling that I’d enjoy it more now than I would have as a youngster…if only for the odd juxtaposition of Richard Pryor and the Man of Steel.

2b. Yes, that means I saw IV in the theatre. (Was there really “repair-Great-Wall-of-China-vision” in that movie, or was I imagining it?) I recommend the comic book version, which includes the extra scenes that were trimmed out of the movie, and is overall just plain less painful an experience.

3. Okay, enough about comic book movies. Take a look at Flat Earth, who has found a downright groovy Batman comic that Legomancer had been looking for. Good show, old chap!

Just to avoid any misunderstandings from yesterday’s post…I do like Superman II…it’s a lot of fun. I just think Superman: The Movie is a better film.

And I don’t mean to come down so hard on the Hellboy film, especially since I haven’t seen it yet. It’s just…well, I enjoy mindless action films just as much as anyone else, but I’m a little tired of the too-usual ending of “good guys win by blowing up some big thing owned by the bad guy,” of which this film appears to be yet another example. I realize that having the good guy stand over the bad guy and declare “ha! My ideology has been proven philosophically superior! I am victorious!” won’t satisfy the usual summer blockbuster crowds, and that blowing up the bad guy’s stuff is the most dynamic visual way of expressing the triumph of good versus evil. I just wish my mindless action entertainment wasn’t so…mindless, I guess.

Although a staple of several Bond films, the most resonant example of this sort of ending for people my age (in their late 70s) would probably be the original Star Wars movie, where the good guy (Luke) blows up the big thing (the Death Star) owned by the bad guy (Darth Vader…okay, really Tarkin, don’t nitpick). It was apparently such a successful ending that Lucas used it again for Return of the Jedi, only the stakes were higher…two big things had to be blown up at the end of this film for the good guys to win.

The worst example of this in recent memory was, as I linked to the other day, the Time Machine “remake” from a year or two ago. Among its many problems (including the fact that your time travel movie shouldn’t become even more boring once the time travel starts) is that, again, the good guy (the Time Traveller, whatever his name was) blows up the big thing (the underground tunnels) owned by the bad guy (Jeremy Irons, I guess). However, unless every Morlock just happened to be in the immediate area of the exploding time machine, presumably there’s still a sizable Morlock population elsewhere that can move in. Sure, the explosion has solved the local problem…but only temporarily.

And, yes, I know not every big blockbuster action film ends this way, but enough do that I’m just growing tired of it. (Of course, if Hellboy doesn’t end this way, I’m gonna look a little silly using that film as the catalyst for this little rant, but I think most of my point, such as it is, still stands.) Again, that’s just how this sort of film ends, it’s the formula, I should just deal with it…but it can’t hurt to want a little more from my B-movie level action films. Or maybe that’s the problem…expecting too much from B-movie level action films.

Reading any connection between this topic and superhero comic books is purely coincidental.

Oh, and here’s my spoiler for the ending of the forthcoming Punisher movie: The Punisher (Thomas Jane) kills the bad guy (John Travolta), probably after blowing up something big the bad guy owns.

The suspense? What he uses to do the deed. A pistol? A shotgun? A grenade launcher? All of the above, and more? I can’t wait to find out.

I just noticed that I didn’t fix the Archives pages from April Fool’s Day…it was still Gambitfan1987’s Progressive Ruin. Oops. Fixed now, I think.

1. Hey, are you a loser? Then hie thee hither to Ringwood and enter the contest to win a full run of DC/Vertigo’s The Losers! Just tell them why you’re the Biggest Loser Ever…I can’t enter because I’m a winner, a winner, baby!

1a. Actually, that’s a good idea, and thus ripe for stealing. I’ll have to come up with a contest of my own. Don’t worry…it probably won’t involve nudity.

2. Still haven’t had a chance to see Hellboy yet…pal Dorian has seen it, and wasn’t terribly impressed. Sigh…honestly, I want to think that I’ll like it, but it just looks like yet another Hollywood movie with more budget than sense, where everyone’s problems get solved at the end with a series of large explosions.

2a. Speaking of comic book movies, the Academy is gonna make Halle Berry give back her Oscar for this Catwoman film.

2b. Still speaking of C.B.M.s, can someone explain to me why some people think Superman II is as good, if not better, than the first Superman movie? Yes, Superman II has the definitive live-action super-battle* and your minimum daily allotment of Zod, but overall it’s just a more…inept film than the 95% perfect first movie. Pal Dorian says it’s that 5% of the first film, the completely botched ending, that sucks away all the memories of the good parts of the film, which makes the 2nd film look that much better. What say you, internet pals?

2c. The best Batman movie is still the original Adam West one: “Of what use is a dream if not a blueprint for courageous action?”** Those more recent live-action Batman films sure haven’t aged well, have they?

3. Did you know that the official site for the publishers of Dead @17 has a weblog?

4. I’m still waiting for my first phone call at the store regarding these comics. “No, I know they’re real, I saw them on the internet!”

*God forgive me for even typing that.

**This is the correct quote, double-checked against my copy of the DVD. A lot of online sources get it wrong.