You are currently browsing the archives for January, 2012
So I was working on my “let’s look at your predictions for 2011” post and responding to every single prediction and it was going on forever and I’d already pretty much provided commentary on most of the predictions last year. (Click on that “predictions” tag at the top of this post to check it out, if you’d like.)
Instead, I think I’m just going to go over some of the “hits” you guys got, and keep it short ‘n’ sweet…but of course I decided this way late at night, and I need to get my beauty sleep. (To become even more beautiful, of course.) Thus, that’s what I’ll do with tomorrow’s post. Or at least start on it, because I expect, in true patience-trying Progressive Ruin fashion, I’ll go on way too long despite trying to keep it at a reasonable length.
In the meantime, here’s a scan from Walt Disney Showcase #46 (September 1978), a comic I’d never seen prior to last week, containing a Dan Spiegle-illustrated adaptation of the film The Cat from Outer Space:
That’s got nothing to do with anything, except I’ve always had a soft spot in my
head heart for
The Cat from Outer Space.
Anyway, please keep your predictions for 2012 coming…I think I learned my lesson and won’t be doing extensive commentary on your predictions ’til next year, when it’ll actually be appropriate.
It’s a new year, a time for a new beginning…and time again for
your predictions! Once more I am asking
you, the Progressive Ruin reader, to make your comic book industry predictions for 2012. Please
drop ’em in the comments, while keeping these three requests in mind:
1. Don’t read the other predictions before entering your own.
2. Don’t criticize other people’s predictions.
3. Don’t predict any real person’s death.
And that’s about it. I might do a post discussing some of these 2012 predictions later on, but considering how the last time I did this said discussion went on for days and drove everyone crazy…I’ll probably keep it brief this time. But at least it’ll give all of us an opportunity to talk about what predictions seem likely and which seem…well, not so likely.
So please, if you have a prediction or three, just plunk ’em down in the comments here and we’ll see how you did next year. Assuming, of course, Planet X doesn’t crash into Earth when the Mayan calendar ends in mid-December.
Tomorrow or the next day (depending on how my bloggin’ time is) I’ll start going over last year’s predictions and tally the hits and misses. (HINT: Just at a glance, we had a better average than most professional “psychics!”)
image from Nancy #159 (September 1958)
So a fella dropped by the store the other day with an armload of comics that he wasn’t interested in selling…he just wanted to give them to us, so that they’d be our problem instead of just another pile of stuff he’d have to deal with. I was kind of busy when he came in and just told him “sure” without getting a good look at what he had, ’til about a half hour later when I finally had a chance to glance through the stack and see an awful lot of “Death of/Funeral for/Return of” Superman books. Most of them are destined for the bargain box, some of the lesser-conditioned copies will probably end up in, ahem, “the gentlemen’s library and washroom,” and then there’s this:
The
World Without A Superman Special Collector’s Set, still sealed in its original shrinkwrap. This is kind of an interesting artifact for the time, particularly when you consider the details:
It’s only $5.33 for a $7.50 trade paperback, a $1.25 comic book, a “reprint” of
Action Comics #1 (presumably just a reprint of the Superman content of that issue, judging by the apparent thickness) that – let’s say – is worth about a buck, and a poster that’s worth maybe another buck. So that’s about ten bucks worth of stuff for $5.33, which ain’t a bad deal, if a peculiar price point.
I don’t remember if it was on this site, or on the Twitter, or maybe just in an email to a friend (which you better not have read!) where I noted that while the cheapie Death of Superman trade DC rushed out right after the event had gone through some incredible number of printings, like twelve or fifteen or something like that, you could (at the time I was making this observation, a few years ago) still reorder the World Without a Superman book from Diamond Comics and receive a first printing. (It’s since been replaced by an edition with a $19.99 cover price.) So they printed a lot of these books, and I wonder if this cut-price package was, while also being good marketing to take advantage of heightened interest in the Superman franchise, a desperate attempt to clear out some warehouse space.
One thing that amused me…the need to indicate that Action Comics #1 was a “(REPRINT).” Probably because you just know if that “(REPRINT)” wasn’t there, someone was going to complain that they didn’t get an original Action #1, and then there’d be lawsuits and all sorts of unpleasantness and who’d want that. Although I notice that no such consideration was taken to indicate the “SUPERMAN #75 THE HISTORIC ISSUE OF SUPERMAN’S DEATH” included in this package was a fourth printing:
Remember when DC used to indicate printings with Roman numbers in the corner box? I wish they’d still do that, instead of what they do now with coloring the whole cover red, or printing “sketch” covers or whatever.
Also, when you get right down to it:
…this would be a weird damn poster to have hanging on your wall. “Hey, remember that time Pa Kent collapsed in the field after a heart attack? …If only there were a constant reminder of that incident hanging up in my house somewhere.” Probably not as weird as
this, but pretty darned close.
Peeking at some of the faces visible on the cover of the trade:
I’m pretty sure most of
Luthor’s history has been dumped post-
Flashpoint, but man, even the whole “red-haired clone of Luthor” story that was going on at this point was basically unworkable prior to that due to other continuity-adjustments, if you really stopped to think about it. And I have. A lot. Maybe
too much.
I don’t know why Sad Guy Gardner is striking me as funny. Maybe because he’s like super-angry and sad at the same time, which is totally in character and kind of awesome.
I’m not sure I even get what Bloodwynd’s whole deal was, even though I’m fairly certain I read the comics explaining the backstory at the time, and just now I looked at the
Wikipedia entry and got that whole “reading other people’s mail” vibe I usually get when, for example, I read an X-Men comic or actually read other people’s mail. Also, his name sounds like a band that should be on a bill with
Shadowfax, so long as we’re picking on a character that hasn’t been seen for about a decade.
So, anyway, the Death of Superman…nearly twenty years on, and there’s still no escaping from it. I expect that after I die, my condemned spirit will wander the world like Jacob Marley’s, weighed down by chains attached to long comic boxes filled with Adventures of Superman #500.
…courtesy Young Love #122 (November 1976):
Giant sewing props on loan from 1950s Batman comics, presumably.
SLUGGO SMITH
THE ANTONIO STRADIVARI OF YARDSTICKS
from Nancy #159 (October 1958)
So Trevor A asked in a comment yesterday if I’d discuss some of DC’s post-New 52 titles and how they’re doing in this brave new retail world. The two he mentions specifically are The Shade and Huntress, and…they’re both doing…okay, I suppose, with Huntress selling just slightly better. They’re definitely at the low end of the sales scale when compared to the New 52 line…not as low as Static Shock or I, Vampire, but maybe around Voodoo levels. Not great, but they seem to be consistent from issue to issue at least, enough so that when I heard that talk about The Shade mini-series possibly getting canned halfway through, I was a bit surprised. It doesn’t seem likely now, as that would be definite egg in DC’s face if they had to cut a mini-series short so soon after their big publishing initiative.
Plus, not that I’m some big publishing marketing genius or anything, but I’d think there’d be a payoff in finishing the mini and collecting it into a trade as a companion to the Starman series it spun off from. …Which of course begs the question why they wouldn’t just go straight to graphic novel format to begin with, but that wouldn’t be a strategy they’d take with a third-stringer like the Shade, I’d imagine.
Well, that went off on a tangent a bit. So, Trevor A, what I’m trying to tell you is that those two series at least are selling okay, if not great. Other post-52 series like T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents and My Greatest Adventure are selling about as well, with Penguin: Pain and Prejudice being kind of the surprise hit, necessitating multiple reorders to fill back issue requests.
In other news:
- Super-Team Family presents…Swamp Thing and Man-Thing!
- A new storyline over at The Rack begins with Three Days of the Con, Part One.
- Tony Isabella re-presents: Watchmen 2: Rorschach’s Revenge.
- REMINDER: you need more robot detectives in your life. Thus, Copernicus Jones.
- Oh, right…this isn’t a link to anything, but I wanted to thank longtime reader and commenter philip (with the lowercase “p”) for dropping by the store and daring to meet me in person, thus getting to see me in my natural unshaved and mostly undyed state. I of course thanked him for his visit by prying as much money as I could out of his hands. Thanks, philip, for coming by!
- Pals Dorian and Ken have another batch cooked up of those movie trailer reviews that I like so much.
- Bully, the Little Stuffed Bull That Walks Like A Little Stuffed Bull, brings us all what we didn’t know we wanted, but what we definitely needed: 366 Days of Alfred Pennyworth. …It is far more than we deserve.
- Also, I wanted to thank all of you for still coming back and reading my site. December was…not a great month for me, with health issues and working extra hours and just plain getting a bit burnt out, which of course affected content here. I’m feeling a lot better now, so hopefully everything will be up and running here as normal. Or whatever passes for normal. …Thanks, gang, and I’ll see you tomorrow.
Now on with part two of my “so how is all that new 52 hoohar doin’ five months on” overview, following up on that long-ago post where I asked you, the faithful reader, what you thought of them. Part one was yesterday, in case you forgot, and in case you didn’t, I’m sure I’ll link to part one once or twice more.
Grifter – Now had I been thinking, I probably would have ended yesterday’s post with Grifter since this is one of those titles I don’t really have anything to say about, beyond that it’s selling at all which is nothing short of a shock. Another one of those titles that isn’t generating a lot of buzz or attention but still has a small, stable following.
Hawk and Dove – Gotta give it to Rob Liefeld, he’s still on the book. And it’s maintaining…not great sales, but certainly respectable sales, and our customers do seem to be enjoying it. So, hey, that’s fine with me.
I, Vampire – Unfortunately, probably one of the two poorest selling titles of the new 52 for us. Vampire backlash from the comic fans, maybe? Perhaps seeing it as too…pandering, or something? I don’t know. Even the Constantine appearance in the latest issue didn’t do anything to spark interest.
Justice League – The best seller of the bunch, and, as I said before, it’s actually improved a bit since the debut. Okay, it’s still big, loud, and stupid, but it’s big, loud, stupid and entertaining. The mindlessly fun box office blockbuster of DC’s current line-up.
Justice League Dark – I’m not even quite sure what’s going on in this book…probably one of those titles that benefits from reading successive issues at once rather than with a month between, losing the nuances. Not that there’s a lot of “nuance” here, but c’mon. Still, oddly enjoyable and it’s Peter Milligan writing Shade the Changing Man again, and there’s gotta be value to that.
Justice League International – Haven’t looked at it since I didn’t finish reading the first issue after losing interest halfway through. Sells about a third of what Justice League does, which means it’s got some reasonable sales.
Legion of Super-Heroes, Legion Lost – I honestly think it’s probably time to mothball the Legion for a while and make people miss ’em. Seriously, despite the occasional sales bump that comes from yet another reboot/relaunch (like, oh, say, the New 52 #1s) sales always drop right back down to where they were before. And I do mean “down.” Maybe it’s just us…maybe our local Legion fans have simply just dwindled in number. But that their comics do occasionally spike in sales tells me that at least part of our customer base is interested in the Legion, they’re just not interested in the Legion comics coming out right now.
Men of War – Another of the lower sellers, probably not surprisingly, though the people who do read it seem to enjoy it quite a bit.
Mister Terrific – Noted before that this book was kind of a disappointment for me…and apparently not just for me, as some of the prerelease excitement for this book among our customer base had us thinking it’d do really well…which it didn’t. Well, okay, that’s not fair…it did okay, and it’s still maintaining some lower mid-range numbers, so it has its fans.
Nightwing – Kinda surprised the hell out of me when I found out how well this book was selling for us. Not Action/Justice League numbers or anything, but certainly well up there. Lot of you kids out there are Nightwing fans, I guess.
OMAC – Such the best comic. A total Jack Kirby riff, and rightfully includes a credit for Kirby in the book now (which was overlooked in the first issue). Lots of noise and punching and crazy characters and even pulled off a two-page splash in the latest issue which didn’t make me immediately think “hey, you’ve only got 20 pages, cut that out” because it was awesome. Does okay for us, a lower mid-range title, but the folks that read it love it. As well they should.
Red Hood and the Outlaws – One of the better sellers at first, though it’s dropped just a bit. Despite all the fanguish about Starfire’s particular…portrayal in the first issue, we were getting the most requests for this title from our female customer base. Also, one of the employees is really into this title. Maybe a little too into it.
Resurrection Man – A lot of our longtime customers were equal-parts happy and surprised to see this title come back. Not a big seller, but selling more than I expected a revived non-big name title from a decade ago would.
Savage Hawkman – People want a Hawkman title, but it doesn’t appear to be this Hawkman title. Started off okay, but has seen some attrition and drops from comic saver files over the last month or two. It’s just not catching on, unfortunately. Still selling well enough, but probably needs a change in direction right quick to hang on to the readers it has.
Static Shock – The other poorest seller of the relaunch for us, which surprises me a bit. Are people seeing the name “Static Shock” and associating it with the cartoon, and thinking that they don’t want to read a “cartoon adaptation?” Is it maybe just too little, too late past the character’s peak popularity? I honestly have no idea.
Stormwatch – Didn’t really expect this to sell, but it’s doing fine. …Pretty much all I have to say about it, really. Some folks are surprised DC went with this instead of another Authority relaunch, but I’m kind of Authoritied-out so I’m glad they didn’t.
Suicide Squad – Started strongly, dropped about a…third, maybe, in sales, but even so still selling above-average numbers for the New 52 titles. Another one of those comics where the online reaction to the comic was belied by actual sales. Had a lot of people asking about it in the first month or two.
Superboy, Supergirl – Both these Superman tie-ins are selling quite well, with Supergirl having the edge. Supergirl is also getting a lot of back issue requests.
Superman – I can appreciate that George Perez is trying to give people their money’s worth with each issue, cramming as much story in there as possible, but it still feels like it’s getting in the way of telling the story. Like I said, it’s improving, and with a creative team change imminent, it’s very possible these problems will go away…or be replaced by whole new problems, but we’ll see. Sales were strong at first, and are slightly less-strong now, though still doing very well. Probably selling at about two-thirds of Action.
Swamp Thing – Another surprise from the New 52, where, like Animal Man, it’s selling a lot more than anyone would have predicted. And in our store’s case, I promise it’s not because of me pushing the book, honest! Kind of wish that the long, slow build-up to the eventual Return of Swamp Thing (no relation) was maybe a little faster-paced (and the lack of Swamp Thing thus far has cost the title a reader or two at the shop), but response has mostly been very positive for this series.
Teen Titans – That initial promo image was pretty roundly mocked, and rightfully so. However, the series is selling fairly on par or slightly more with the last Titans series or two, and I’ve had a pal or two whose tastes I trust tell me that it’s actually a better comic than you might have thought given that initial negative buzz.
Voodoo – A lower seller from the New 52, which shows nekkid gals can’t sell everything. Has its fans, and while not a big seller, it’s a consistent one, and that’ll do.
Wonder Woman – I really had a negative reaction to the first issue, as we were given a dark, moody and violent Wonder Woman comic instead of one that perhaps could sell to that potentially large audience of little girls that maybe, just maybe, might be interested in a character that, as pal Dorian has so accurately described, is a superhero who is also a princess. Sounds like printing money to me, but that’s not the audience DC wants coming into comic shops or buying comics online, so oh well. (And while we get little girls wanting superhero comics in our shop, I suspect we’re more the exception than the rule.) But, Wonder Woman is selling very well, and people I respect are telling me it’s good, so don’t pay any attention to me.
…
Overall, even with my being a bit of a Negative Nelly here and there, the new 52 relaunch has been a net gain for DC, with relaunched titles generally selling at or over what they were selling before, and several of the new titles maintaining consistent, if not always heavy, numbers. Despite a few clunkers here and there, a not unexpected result on some of the non-superhero…or less traditionally-superhero…books, this relaunch is doing well for us, and it’s certainly stirred up interest from our customer base, not just in DC Comics, but in comics across the board, which is definitely welcomed. In a marketplace that’s been relatively moribund for far too long, any excitement about the comics themselves, in the stories and characters as opposed to simply just as investable commodities, is something I’m glad to see. (Not that there weren’t some people with dollar signs in their eyes when all these new #1s were cranked out, but that period came and went fairly quickly.)
And besides, it was all worth it just to put Swamp Thing back on the stands. All worth it.
I…really wasn’t sure what I was planning when I asked you folks what you thought about DC’s New 52 thus far, whether I was going to comment on the responses individually, or do some kind of meta-analysis, or what. And frankly, my need to address that post, at least in my mind, has been looming over me like a really large thing that loomed over me.
I think what I’m going to do here is borrow this list of the New 52 that Siskoid already typed out in his comment, and briefly discuss each book (or family of books) in regards to customer reaction, sales, etc., and let that stand as my final (or at least part one of my final) response to the matter. But honestly, thank all of you who took the time to leave comments…I read every one, and found them informative and interesting.
So, here we go…the first half of my comments on the whole shebang:
Action Comics – Like I said the last time I attempted this, there seems to be a vague level of disappointment from some quarters regarding the pacing of this comic, but plenty of people seem to like it just fine, and it’s certainly one of the top sellers of the New 52 here at the shop. And I think people who haven’t liked the last couple of issues may enjoy #5, due out…today, in fact, and I’m not saying I’ve already read it, but may very well have, and it may respark some interest from those of you out there who have been less than enthralled with the title. (Also, I saw some folks out there in Internet-land who are somehow using what they’ve seen in previews for #5 as more ammo for their ol’ “Grant Morrison hates superheroes/the Silver Age” complaints, which is just crazy-talk from Crazytown, frankly.)
All-Star Western – Started off well, but seems to be back down to the folks who had already been buying the Jonah Hex…plus one or two more, so, you know, there’s been some improvement.
Animal Man – Probably one of the Big Surprises of the New 52, selling well and critically acclaimed — nice when those two qualities actually match up with each other on the same thing. The comic is very good, though (like I feel with many of the other comics) the pacing could stand to pick up a bit. It is quite a compellingly-disturbing story, one of the few true examples of a superhero horror comic. (Steve Gerber and Gene Colan’s The Phantom Zone (scroll down to #1) being another strong example, I think.)
Aquaman – Another surprise hit, and one customers seem to be talking about the most. Mostly in the context of “wow, I can’t believe I’m digging an Aquaman comic this much!” …It has been pretty good, I think.
Batgirl – This one’s been getting pretty mixed reviews from the get-go, though I thought it was pretty entertaining. And it’s certainly selling very well for us.
Batman, Batman and Robin, Batman: The Dark Knight, Detective Comics – All these Batman books have seen a definite uptick in sales since the relaunch, though most of them had been selling pretty well to begin with. Detective probably benefited the most.
Batwing – A low to mid-range seller, still doing better than expected considering it’s a Batman spin-off not featuring one of the main Bat-family.
Batwoman – Solid mid-range seller…the art definitely sells the book. Brings in people who don’t normally buy comics.
Birds of Prey, Blue Beetle, Deathstroke – Selling okay, which is really better than I expected Deathstroke to do, to be honest. But otherwise, not really generating a whole lot of chatter or specific enthusiasm from the customers.
Blackhawks – Probably one of the lower-selling of the New 52. Have had a couple of customers note that the art really didn’t do anything for them.
Captain Atom – Good mid-range seller…haven’t really paid any attention to it, though people telling me (at the store and in the comments to that post) that it’s kind of a riff on Watchmen‘s Doctor Manhattan sort of has me intrigued.
Catwoman – I know people complained about the ridiculousexy in the first issue, but man, people do like Catwoman, regardless. Solid midrange seller.
DC Universe Presents – Good seller, will be interested to see if sales change when this series switches from Deadman to the Challengers of the Unknown. (Just had the thought that the series should just cumulatively add characters to the rotating stories. The first arc would be just Deadman, the second would be Deadman and the Challengers, the third would be Deadman, the Challs, and, oh, I don’t know, the Omega Men, and so on. Would be quite the sight by the time issue #50 rolled around.)
Demon Knights – Considering the setting is in Ye Olden Dayes, and that it stars a lot of the magical DC characters…actually selling a lot better than expected. …There’s probably more characters in here than the book can really comfortably handle, but it makes for an entertaining read nonetheless.
Flash – Strong seller, and I’m being told it’s actually quite good. Alas, I’d pretty much hit my limit on how many Flash stories I can read, and dropped the franchise a year or two back, but people telling me it’s good got me to poke my nose into an issue or two recently. Sadly, it still didn’t do anything for me, but I’m glad people are enjoying it.
Frankenstein Agent of S.H.A.D.E. – One humdinger of a book…maybe a little too out there for most folks, but quite the treat for the reader who dares peek inside its covers. Like OMAC (discussed tomorrow), it’s one of those well-admired titles that has a small but loyal following. …It’s kinda like the DC Universe version of Hellboy, and that’s just fine.
Fury of Firestorm – Mentioned this in my initial post (which I’m not going to link to yet again in this post)…didn’t grab me at first, but it’s slowly growing on me now that I’ve wrapped my mind around the idea that this particular take is different from the one I’ve been used to for the last decade or three. Maintaining okay sales at the shop.
Green Arrow – Small gain in sales since the relaunch. Haven’t really heard any buzz good or bad about this title. It’s a Green Arrow comic that’s selling okay, so I’m not going to complain. Well, Swamp Thing’s not in it, so I’ll complain about that, anyway.
Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: New Guardians, Red Lanterns – Still probably about one or two GL titles too many, but…well, they all have some entertainment value, and they’re all selling well so far. So long as they don’t add a fifth Lantern title, and honestly I wouldn’t put it past them. Anyway, Green Lantern is the best, and the best-selling, of the bunch, with the ongoing Hal Jordan/Sinestro disfunctional bromance. Man, I hope this stays a cop/buddy book, because I love reading Sinestro stories and the dynamic between him and Hal makes for a fun read. I’ve mentioned before, once or twice, about how Sinestro is one of my favorite supervillains. In fact, I’d be okay with a fifth GL book if Sinestro was kicked out of the main GL book and given his own ongoing series.
Corps and New Guardians aren’t bad, but I think I’m ready for those initial storylines to be over. But Larfleeze finally showed up in the latter series, and Everyone Loves Larfleeze so that series just shot up in quality for me, as far as I’m concerned. And Red Lanterns is interesting sort of despite itself, what with all the blood and grossness and characters being dicks to each other and whatnot, and yet still being readable. Yeah, I know, it’s hard to explain. Still needs to just turn into a Dex-Starr solo book. (And maybe he can team up with that cat from Animal Man.)
…Come back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of my overview of the New 52! …Ah, c’mon, come back. …Please?
So I’m back from my holiday hiatus, my batteries…well, somewhat recharged but I’ll take what I can get, and ready for a whole new year of civilization ending, so let’s get started, shall we? Bust open your copies of Diamond Previews (January 2012 edition) and follow along if you are so inclined:
p. 20 – Diary of a Zombie Kid:
I have to say a
chilling courtroom drama is a bold choice for a Free Comic Book Day giveaway.
p. 21 – Burt Ward Boy Wonder #1:
Now if
Hustler Magazine had a comics line, we could finally get that comic book adaptation of
“A Young Crimefighter’s Fantasy” the industry has demanded. (Link probably not safe for work, as you might guess.)
p. 26 – Marvel Heroclix Thor Figure:
Why, what’s that he’s holding there? Some kind of
protest sign? Another one of those “Occupy Asgard” hippies? I knew that longhair was trouble.
p. 28 – FCBD 2012 Commemorative Shirt: Jim Lee:
Well, okay, the design’s actually going to be this:
But this pic with the solicitation is the first thing that grabbed my eye:
…and now I want my Free Comic Book Day shirt to be that very image, with Lee in that pose.
p. 49 – Mike Richardson Comes to Your Store:
So Dark Horse Comics is having this thing where if you post images of yourself at your favorite comic shop in this mask of DH publisher Mike Richardson:
…you might get a chance at having said publisher show up at your shop for a special Dark Horse day.
Well, let me tell you, I wore this at the shop pretty much every day for a month:
…and I didn’t get nuthin’. Well, I
did get my will enslaved by an evil alien intelligence, which is almost as good as a Dark Horse party, I guess.
p. 73 – Marvel Classic Characters Spider-Man New York Comic Con Exclusive:
Do they still do the armpit webbings and the belt in the newer Spider-Man comics? I haven’t kept up with Spider-Man, I have no idea. But they should totally bring those back in the movies, at least. That big ol’ clunky belt with the Spidey face-projector on the front is
awesome.
p. 147 – Saga of the Swamp Thing Book One TP:
So will they
finally get
the missing caption problem straightened out? Tune in next time, same Swamp time, same Swamp channel.
p. 190 – Bloodstrike #26:
So if they’re bringing back old Image properties and picking up the numbering where they left off, let us hope for
Darker Image #2. Or
Fell #10. I wouldn’t mind seeing either of those. …Yes, I was the guy who liked
Darker Image, shut up.
p. 226 – Marvel Select Avengers Movie Mystery Action Figure:
What the c**k is this s**t. …That better be Jack of Hearts, Moondragon, or motherf**king Rick Jones if you’re going to be pulling that.
p. 353 – Peanuts Snoopy Flying Ace Kit:
Nice, but I’m holding out for this kit:
p. 357 – Family Guy Peter Vs. Giant Chicken Thumb Wrestling Kit:
Halfway through your thumb battle, you flash back to when [notable ’70s celebrities] were thumb wrestling.
…Look, all I pretty much know about Family Guy is the flashback thing. That’s the only go-to gag about the show I have. Well, that and the a-ha parody video, which was pretty good, I thought. But “a-ha thumb wrestling” isn’t as amus…wait, hold on. That is kind of funny, maybe. Let me get back to you.
p. 358 – Aslan The Pin-Up Book:
This totally undermines the whole “Lion-Jesus” thing from the
Narnia series.
p. 361 – Star Wars The Secret Life of Droids:
LUKE: “Hmmm, this R2 unit seems to have some kind of hidden recording…hey, is that Bob Crane?”
C3PO: “Oh no!”
p. 362 – Alien Chopsticks:
“H.R. Giger” and “eating utensils” are not two things I normally would have associated with each other.
p. 373 – Classic Swamp Thing T-Shirt:
Oh, you
bastards. The iconic Wrightson cover for
Swamp Thing #9, original series, in the t-shirt format I’ve always desired? …You don’t play fair. No sir.
p. 379 – Star Wars Handbags:
“Um, sir…?”
“YES, COMMANDER?”
“The…the men were wondering about this new…uniform accessory that you’ve instructed us all to carry.”
“…IS THERE A PROBLEM?”
“Well, um, the men…don’t really need handbags, sir. They have belts, and, uh, pockets, and….”
“THESE HANDBAGS HAVE ME ON THEM. THEREFORE THEY ARE NECESSARY. YOU CAN KEEP SMALL TOOLS IN THEM. AND EQUIPMENT. AND LIPSTICKS.”
“Y-yes, sir. And there’s one more thing, if I may…?”
“IT HAD BETTER NOT BE COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE YOGA PANTS. I FIND THEM COMFORTABLE AND FREEING, AND SO SHOULD ALL OF YOU.”
“Um…thank you, Lord Vader.”
p. 387 – Star Trek The Next Generation Retro Cloth Borg:
GOTHS…IN…SPAAAAAAACE
p. 395 – O-No Sashimi “Red Version” Vinyl Figure:
Test-marketing showed that the
Finding Nemo version of this figure was…”troubling.”
p. 403 – Star Wars Kenner Hammerhead 12-inch Action Figure:
Pretty much running this entry just so I have an excuse to repost this from the Twitter feed:
Also, because this was one of my favorite figures from the original Star Wars action figure line. Even though I’m pretty sure this character wasn’t wearing a blue one-piece swimsuit in the movie.
p. 425 – Ikki Tousen Dragon Destiny: Shimei Ryomou “Ura Jake” PVC Figure:
“Shimei Ryomou is bound, in her undressed state, to a bed in this stunning PVC statue that brings to life the sultry curves of this powerful fighter.”
Sometimes I just don’t need to say anything.
p. 426 – Terminator 2 T-800 HD Masterpiece Action Figure:
I was going to make a joke about a Terminator “Masterpiece” figure, but…1/4th scale? $400? All those extra hands? …Okay, you’ve
almost earned the description of “masterpiece,” but first we need to strip the figure down to its robot skivvies and bind it to a bed…
p. 430 – Star Wars Cufflinks:
As the Force is my witness, I can think of occasions for all these cufflinks, save for the Darth Maul ones.
p. 432 – Dried Zombie Skin Seaweed Pack:
At last, they found a way to make seaweed sound appetizing.
(Yes, yes, I know, “seaweed tastes great, you ignorant swine.” …MY PALATE IS NOT READY.)
p. 442 – Star Trek Earloomz GL-500 Bluetooth Headsets:
So they couldn’t even TRY to make these look like those crazy earpieces Uhura used to wear in the original series?
p. 444 – Disney Traditions Mickey Mouse Bird Feeder Statue:
Mickey’s totally going to eat that bird. I mean, c’mon, just look at that big rodent.
Marvel Previews p. 3 – Avengers Vs. X-Men:
I don’t know…looking at the new comics rack, I’d have to say “both.”
original image from Swamp Thing #1 (October/November 1972) by Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson
altered slightly by Bully the Little Stuffed Bull
• • •
Sorry, folks, meant to be back up and running today, but it didn’t work out. I’ll be back tomorrow.
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »
