Hey, look, it’s another one of these…another brisk gallop through the latest Diamond Previews catalog, pointing out items of interest for your edification. Whip out your copy of the August 2010 edition and follow along! (Also, an EoC fan asked if he could put together a page of some of his favorite entries, I said yes, and here’s what resulted. Also, in response to some of his comments there, I am slowly going through and adding “End of Civilization” tags to those posts…about halfway done, but I’ll get the rest soon!)
p. 130 – Green Lantern Vs. Sinestro Statue Set:
“Great Guardians! Some unknown force has replaced my right arm with a giant green sea urchin! How can I possibly defeat Sinestro now?”
p. 220 – Steampunk Palin one-shot:
It’s another visit from the Pop Culture Mixmaster, slapping together two faddish tastes into a great new flavor explosion! …Sorry, that’s the best metaphor I’ve got. Whaddaya want for free?
p. 242 – Alice in Wonderland San Diego Comic-Con Johnny Depp Photo Edition HC:
The solicitation notes that this Tim Burton film took in over a billion dollars in its worldwide box office take, and I thought “c’mon, no way, I’m calling these guys on this.”
But then I looked it up, and I’ll be damned, it did take in over a billion dollars.
Of course, that still doesn’t answer the question “Why? Why did this film take in over a billion dollars?” or take away the knowledge that any film with this scene managed to do so, but at least I don’t have to bust the chops of my pals at Boom! about the claim.
p. 253 – Warlord of Mars #1:
Well, at least they put some clothes on her for the comic book adaptation.
p. 365 – Plastic Man Close-Up T-Shirt:
This is strangely upsetting. Do you think Plastic Man has the same body heat as a normal person? Also, it seems unlikely that his actual mass would change. So if you were wearing Plastic Man in the form of a shirt, would it feel like being heavily squeezed or pressed down around your upper body by other people, their body heat emanating into you?
p. 379 – Bat Boy 8-Inch Retro Style Action Figure:
I certainly hope Bat Boy is getting his fair share of the royalties from all this tie-in merchandise.
p. 380 – Mr. Corn Plush:
This comes in two varieties…the Happy Fresh Version, with a little smiley face, and the impossibly depressing SAD TENDER VERSION:
He is sad because he knows some of his kernels will inevitably not be digested and will…ahem…pass through, intact. THE SUFFERING OF MR. CORN WILL NEVER END.
p. 384 – Living Dead Dolls Nohell Doll:
It took me a moment to figure out the gag in the name. I’m really terrible about catching stuff like this sometimes.
p. 384 – Lego Brickmaster Atlantis HC:
Now you can build Atlantis from scratch, just like Plato did!
p. 390 – Mr. Potato Head KISS:
I was going to make a joke about “Potatoes in Satan’s Service,” but, um, that abbreviates in an unfortunate fashion.
p. 395 – Battlestar Galactica Kara “Starbuck” Thrace Mini-Bust:
ATTENTION: JOKE SPECIFICALLY FOR BATTLESTAR GALACTICA NERDS COMING IN 3…2….
“Note: Statue may suddenly disappear from display without warning.”
p. 403 – Star Wars Death Trooper Mini-Bust with Novel:
That’s a Zombie Stormtrooper, speaking of the Pop Culture Mixmaster. Just thought that was worth noting. Plus, it’ll look nice sitting on the mantelpiece next to the picture of Grandma.
p. 410 – Evangelion 2.0 Entry Plug Chopsticks:
…AND NOT AT ALL LIGHTSABER CHOPSTICKS.
p. 414 – Doctor Who 11th Doctor Diecast Sonic Screwdriver:
“It comes with three tips – large, medium, and small – and each tip is reversable [sic] with Phillips and Flathead ends.”
So it’s a replica…of the Sonic Screwdriver…that’s actually a screwdriver. Whoaaaa…far out, man.
p. 425 – Disney Traditions Light-Up Tinker Bell Lantern:
“Ah ha ha ha! At last, Tinker Bell, I have you trapped in my Lantern Prison! As soon as I turn the light on, you’ll be fried to a crisp, my little fairy!”
“Captain Hook, you fiend!”
Marvel Previews p. 102 – X-Force A Force to Be Reckoned With Premiere HC:
Reprinting those last few issues of New Mutants and the initial issues of X-Force, in a high quality hardcover.
Somewhere, a tree is crying.
Marvel Previews p. 188 – Carnage Poster:
“Art is currently being constructed from only the highest quality materials, handmade in Belgium by our most talented artisans, and flown in to our master craftsmen and electricians, who will spend countless hours assembling and wiring this item to very exacting specifications. We know you expect a high standard of quality on anything with the proud name of ‘Carnage Poster’ attached, and we aim to please.”