So I was reading those Swamp Thing comics from the middle of last year…

…I discovered that things don’t make any more sense this time around than before, as least as it pertains to the transition from Brightest Day to that Search for Swamp Thing series.

In brief: at the end of Brightest Day, Alec Holland is resurrected by the White Lantern’s power to become the new Swamp Thing, defeating and supplanting the old Swamp Thing whose nature had been corrupted by the evil force that was behind the whole “Blackest Night” hoohar. After evil is defeated and Swamp Thing gives everyone the ol’ “I’m back to fight for the Green” speech, we get a cliffhanger where Swamp Thing is shown killing a bunch of dudes who are responsible for harm being done to the environment. And then John Constantine shows up to express his disbelief that Swamp Thing was actually responsible for all this.

Okay. Well then, it seems like we need a mini-series or something to shed some light, right? Said mini, Search for Swamp Thing, shows that 1) Holland had been split from the Green again, and no longer Swamp Thing, though if there’s an explanation for it, none seems apparent, and 2) the Green is trying to create a new avatar by using Constantine, as he was Swampy’s buddy and apparently that’s close enough for horseshoes.

When all is said and done in this mini, there is still no explanation for Holland being split from Swamp Thing, the two are not reunited in the end, and there’s no apparent resolution to the Green-persuing-Constantine plot (and in fact, the series ends with the implication that the Green is still trying to get its leafy tendrils on Constantine).

If it weren’t for the explicit references to the then just-completed Brightest Day series, I would have said this was a new reboot for Swamp Thing, unconnected to Brightest Day. But it all ends up a moot point anyway, as within a week or so of this mini wrapping up, the New 52 starts, with its new continuity, and a whole new Swamp Thing series.

The new Swamp Thing starts sort of where we left off from the mini, with a resurrected Alec Holland, only with the Green actively pursuing him, and no Constantine in sight. However, the return of Alec Holland appears unrelated to any of those events from Brightest Day or Search for Swamp Thing, given statements in later issues that Holland “woke up naked in the swamp” and, well, what the Parliament of Trees says directly to Holland in issue #7:


So that’s the line I was looking for, and had somehow forgotten about or overlooked when I originally read this issue. The Parliament themselves resurrected Alec Holland, to become the one, true Swamp Thing that was supposed to form the first time around, except Holland had died and the Parliament was forced to “build” a Swamp Thing around what they could glean from Holland’s dead mind.

I still think some kind of Brightest Day thing was supposed to have occurred in this New 52 continuity, as clearly something happened to the previous Swamp Thing, the one that had been based on Holland’s memories. (Or I missed it, or haven’t gotten to it in the rereading yet.) Also, Superman shows up in Swamp Thing #1 to check on Holland, which sort of implied to me that the two were tied up in the Brightest Day event, but that may have been more because those comics were still fresh in my mind more than anything actually presented in the text. It could be just that Superman makes a habit on checking on people who come back from the dead, particularly those tied to powerful characters in the DC Universe.

(Also, Superman seemingly references his own “Death of Superman” storyline during the discussion, so maybe that happened in the New 52 world? Who knows?)

Anyway, my main goal here was to find out if there was an in-story explanation for Holland’s return that didn’t depend on readers assuming a New 52 Brightest Day-esque event whose story Must Not Yet Be Told, and lo, look at the pics above.

Come back…oh, Friday, I guess, when I regale you with more recent Swamp Thing trivia I may have missed.

SPOILER ALERT: I’m deliberately wasting your time.

So blogging brother Tim O’Neil tried to kill me with the following question:

…Is there any chance in the near future you could go into a bit more detail on all the discrepancies between pre-Flashpoint and Nu52 Swamp Thing continuity?

Well, good gravy.

I went into some detail about that here, in which I discuss the new status quo of Swampy’s arch-nemesis, but even now, it’s hard to say what is still “in continuity” and what isn’t.

Some of the big details are the same…Holland is still killed by sabotage of his lab, his memories are incorporated into a Swamp Thing that thinks it’s Alec Holland, Holland is eventually resurrected, and finally actually is transformed into Swamp Thing himself. And along the way, Swampy (the original one) has a romance with Abby Arcane.

Some of the specifics are different…Holland meets Abby and Arcane before becoming Swamp Thing, Arcane is the one who sabotages the lab and prevents Holland from initially, directly becoming Swamp Thing, necessitating the Parliament of Trees’s creation of an ersatz Holland-mind to inhabit the Swamp Thing body.

And I’m still not 100% certain how the resurrection of Holland even happened in this new post-Flashpoint continuity. I mean, Holland was brought back at the end of the Brightest Day series, resurrected by the White Lantern’s power to become the new Swamp Thing in order to defeat the old Swamp Thing, who had been corrupted by evil or…hell, something like that. I don’t know if “Brightest Day” even happened in this New 52 continuity…I guess Green Lantern continuity is pretty much as it always was, or at least recent events carried through into the new series without too many hiccups or revampings, and the White Lantern thing was tied into GL’s adventures, so maybe the Brightest Day event still happened in one form or another.

However, there’s that whole business with Holland and Swamp Thing being two separate beings at the beginning of the New 52 series, and the point of the early issues of this series was to transform Holland into Swamp Thing, so in the new continuity, I guess this is taking the place of the reintegration of Holland and Swampy from the end of Brightest Day. So maybe Brightest Day didn’t happen. Or it ended differently. Or something.

I think, as time permits, I’m going to sit down and reread all the “return of Swamp Thing” stuff from the end of Brightest Day, to that terrible Search for Swamp Thing mini, to the current series, and try to figure out what continuity “plugs” may exist to explain the new status quo that I’m either not remembering or even don’t exist in the first place. Probably should have done that before writing this post, but I started late Sunday night and frankly, I’m tired.

Anyway, I’ll get back to you on this. I’m sure you can’t wait.

In the meantime, Timothy T. had this to say about the end of Hellblazer:

I hope they give him a good sending off. But I have no idea what sort of ending would fit, he’s done so much crazy stuff that any finale will disappoint. Maybe it’d be best if they ended it like Cerebus or maybe just having a beer with his mates (or himself).

I’m hoping for a “THE DEATH OF CONSTANTINE,” which will be packaged in a black plastic bag with a big bloody “H” (or perhaps a pentagram) on the front. …And then a few months later, they can publish a comic in which a bunch of replacement Hellblazers show up, so DC can finally reuse a lot of those Constantine-a-likes that used to pop up now and again.

AS FORETOLD BY PROPHECY…

…or, more specifically, reader Jeff R.’s prophecy, and discussed on this site again a couple of months ago, it has been announced that Hellblazer will indeed wrap up its run under the Vertigo banner with issue #300, and be followed by a new, ongoing series in the regular DC Universe.

And, well, that’s that. Not sure how I feel about it, but I’ll certainly check out the new series when it starts up. Hey, Justice League Dark featuring Constantine turned out to be pretty good, maybe this new series will, too.

Speaking of Justice League Dark, it was announced a few days back that director Guillermo del Toro is expressing interest in making a movie featuring DC’s horror ‘n’ supernatural characters, such as the aforementioned Constantine, the Phantom Stranger, Deadman, and, yes, Swamp Thing. This is very much in the “I’ll believe it when I see it” category, but like I said before, del Toro’s plant-monster in Hellboy II reminded me very much of Swamp Thing, so I’d like to see what he’d do with the real thing. …Yes, I said “real thing.” Don’t tell me Swamp Thing’s not real.

And, speaking of using the “and speaking of” transition again…now, I’m enjoying the Swamp Thing comic. Honest, I am. But the Swamp Thing fanboy that lurks deep within me…well, sorta deep…okay, pretty much surface level…still objects to the thorough retooling of Swamp Thing’s continuity for the New 52 initiative. I mean, I get it, it’s a way of keeping the character fresh and fitting into this new timeline and trying to get new readers into it without feeling like they have to know that last few decades’ worth of continuity…but maybe they could have done that without contradicting everything that’s gone before. But you know, whatever, I’ll live. And all those old pre-New 52 comics are still there in my boxes for me to reread.

And on the other hand, the New 52 Swamp Thing got to shout “Superboy! We are not enemies!” in the latest issue, and frankly, that makes it all worth it.

Yes, I said “link-a-doodles.”

Sorry, gang…been a bit ill, so I’m totally in Low Content Mode right now. But here, have some link-a-doodles:

  • The second issue of Olive Hopkins and the Ninth Kingom, by Kevin Church, Grace Allison and Josh Krach, is now available for purchase. Only $1.99…why, it’s so good, I’d even have bought it if it were a whole $2!
  • Pal Ian, one of the founding members of the Associated Comics and Pop Culture Webloggers of Ventura County, CA and Outlying Enrions (which is, as always, ACAPCWOVCCAOE for short) has written a new funnybook for Boom! Studios: Freelancers #1 is now available for only a buck at your finer four color emporiums or even digitally, if you gotta be like that.
  • So pals Chris Sims and Matt Wilson opened the latest episode of War Rocket Ajax speaking briefly about my completely ridiculous and misguided side project POGressive Ruin, thanks to some milkcaps I sent to Mr. Sims. I KNEW THE BRIBE WOULD WORK.

Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the big news: the Walt Disney Company has, after a long negotiation, bought out Progressive Ruin Industries for a grand total of $127, plus a case of Diet Coke. Now I can afford to sit back and watch the End of Civilization in comfort and luxury, and you, the Little People, can follow along yourselves with your November 2012 copy of Diamond Previews:

p.73 – Good Luck Trolls Mystery Box Assortment Series 2:


Now they’re probably hiding the “secret” troll color combination with that silhouette-with-question-mark image, but what if…what if…that “mystery troll” actually looked just like this:


All black, with a question mark painted over the front. That would be swell.

p. 147 – The All New Metallic Superman by Frank Miller Statue:


“Say, Bill, why do you have a statue of Superman doing a pirouette?”

“I’ll have you know this is a representation of Superman from one of the greatest graphic novels of all time.”

“Superman Versus Baryshnikov? Can I borrow it?”

“…Shut up.”

p. 152 – Mars Attacks Popeye:


Man, that “Destroying A Jeep” card is particularly traumatizing.

p. 155 – Star Trek Countdown to Darkness #1:


Not to be confused with Star Trek: Countdown to The Darkness, where the Enterprise crew travels back in time to just sorta hang around in a concert hall before that band comes on stage.

p. 178 – Hey, wait a second…


…Perhaps you missed them back on page #152, Weird Cartoony IDW Mascot Guy:

p. 237 – Expendable Stormtroopers T-Shirt:


Psst. Hey. Hey Disney. Over here. Get a load of what’s goin’ on here.

p. 240 – Archie Meets Glee:


Looking forward to the inevitable “Archie Meets Breaking Bad.”

Walt: “I’M THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!”

Moose: “Duh…I love jokes! ‘Who’s there?'”

Walt: “D’OH!” (flips backward, feet and legs sticking up from bottom of panel)

p. 241- Archie The Married Life Volume 3 TP:


They’re sure milking the hell out of this “Archie gets married” thing. I expect multiple trade paperbacks out of the eventual “Archie: The Bitter, Acrimonious Divorce” saga.

p. 348 – DC Batman Automobilia Collection Magazine:


Will this series last long enough to eventually get around to the Bat-villains’ sweet rides? In particular, this vehicle? I certainly hope so.

p. 354 – The Geek Handbook SC:


“How to Most Efficiently Bite the Heads off Chickens.” “The Carny Life: As Exciting As You Want It to Be.” “Living in Filth: Not As Bad As It Sounds.”

p. 356 – The History of Mario 1981-1991 TP:


So I was all ready to call the book on cutting off the history just before the 1993 release of the Super Mario Bros. movie, thus avoiding having to deal with it, but the actual solicitation does mention the film’s existence. Way to joke-block me, Previews.

p. 367 – Before Watchmen Nite Owl Symbol T-Shirt:


Test the face perception/pareidolic abilities of passerby with this vaguely face-resembling image!

p. 380 – Star Wars Angry Birds Koosh Faceball Packs:


If any of you plan on taking that Han Solo Angry Bird faceball to Harrison Ford to sign at some point in the near future, please let me know so I can be there to see the look on his face.

p. 382 – Justice League Logo Trexis:


After the wholesale rejection of Jim Lee’s New 52 costume designs for all of DC’s heroes as being “too complicated,” the next reboot’s costumes will follow a different strategy.

p. 387 – Twilight 1/18 Scale Die-Cast Replicas:


Remember back when Twilight fans would divide themselves into “Team Ford Police Cruiser” and “Team Chevy Truck?” Oh, youth, you so crazy.

p. 388 – Star Wars Kenner Power Droid Jumbo Action Figure:


Okay, Disney, listen, I only ask for one thing: a giant motorized version of this action figure that I can ride around in. C’mon, dudes. C’MON. I KNOW YOU GOT THE MONEY.

p. 390 – IT Conquered The World Statue:


The statue costs about a hundred bucks…which is about what they originally spent on the prop for the film, I think.

p. 392 – Gingerdead Man 1/1-Scale Replica:


I was hoping someday there would be the perfect piece of merchandise immortalizing Gary Busey’s finest role, and lo, it has come.

p. 400 – DC Comics Batman The Killing Joke The Joker ArtFX Statue:


HEY, DOES THIS STATUE COME WITH A BONDAGE CROTCH-CHERUB


OH GOOD THANK YOU

p. 427 – DC Heroes Grow Toys:


Tiny figures you add water to, and then they grow to six times their original size. Surely there must be one of these for the Atom. SURELY THERE MUST.

p. 433 – Marvel Heroes Cufflink Sets:


People who aren’t comic book fans are going to draw some mightily inappropriate conclusions from seeing you sporting your Punisher cufflinks.

p. 444 – The Lord of the Rings Dice Building Game:


“So, how do you play?”

“Um..you dump out all these dice, and then you spin the dial to see what you build with them.”

“Okay.” (spins dial) “Uh oh, we have to build a 1/25 scale model of Minas Tirith.”

“Well, better get started. Let’s move the furniture out of the room, first.”

Marvel Previews p. 76 – Marvel’s Thor Adaptation #1:


This “comic book adaptation of a movie based on a comic book that’s coming out way too late to take advantage of either the theatrical release or the home video release” trend is a strange one. But as long as they’re doing it, can we get one of the Roger Corman Fantastic Four film? Because that deserves four color immortality.

Hallo Happyween!

I don’t have anything too scary today, except for those pictures of me accompanying this here interview I did via email over, oh, the last six or seven months, since I’m terrible about answering email. Anyway, Señor Editor, who conducted the interview, was very kind and patient with my chronic lateness, and please give the Editor your thanks by visiting the site. There’s a story or three there that you may have read here before, but I’m old and that’s what old people do, tell you the same story over and over again.

Also, I finally wrapped up my Halloween pog posts over at Pogressiveruin.com, which I’m sure you’ve all been following breathlessly.

Three things.

1. So reader David was at a convention recently where he encountered Guy Gilchrist, one of the current creators of the Nancy comic strip. Well, he explained to Mr. Gilchrist my little Sluggo Saturday project — I can only imagine how that went! — and apparently it went okay, as Mr. Gilchrist presented David with the following sketch:


I am downright flabbergasted. In times of darkness and despair, I shall simply focus on this image and let its beauty shine over me.

Also, it’s been a while since I’ve done a Sluggo Saturday. I’ll try to cook one up soon.

2. Here’s a thought that crossed my mind when I read the recently-released Fury of Firestorm #13: the general status quo for the character, recently reestablished in the new title, is that two people would merge together to form Firestorm, with one person controlling the body, and the other person existing as a disembodied voice who can mentally communicate with the first person. Or, you know, something like that. You get the idea.

In the old Firestorm comics, sometimes Ronnie (the fella running the body) would be talking out loud to Professor Stein (the poor bastard stuck in the “disembodied voice” position) and someone would walk in on the conversation and would be all “hey, you talkin’ to yourself?” and Firestorm would be all “D’OH!” and embarrassed and stuff, since the Firestorm-is-actually-two-people thing wasn’t general knowledge.

Well, we got a scene like that again in the aforementioned #13 of the new series:


…and what I thought was “wouldn’t people nowadays just assume anyone talking to himself was actually using one of those Bluetooth ear-clip thingies?” That actually happened to me at the shop once, where a sole gentleman was in the middle of a very spirited conversation and I just assumed he simply had a Bluetooth headset on…until I got a good look at him and realized, oh, there’s no cell phone involved here.

Okay, in the panel up there, the dude isn’t explicitly saying that he thinks Firestorm is talking to himself…I mean, I think it’s sort of implied, but I suppose he could be thinking that Firestorm is just yappin’ on his cell. But anyway, I think modern technology may have taken away one of Firestorm’s running gags, and surely the world is poorer for it. (NOTE: Not actually sure of that.)

3. There is no third thing. I’m a big lying poopiehead.

As God is my witness, I had no recollection of this comic ever existing.

Now, had you come up to me in recent years, right there at the comic book shop, dollar bills in hand, and demanded that you be allowed, this very instant, to buy all of our copies of the comic based on 1992’s greatest movie starring a giant Saint Bernard named after a legendary composer and co-starring Charles “King Kong (1976)” Grodin, I could very well have said “I’m sorry to disappoint you sir and / or ma’am, but there ain’t no such animal,” — and I would have been totally wrong, because BEHOLD:


There I was, digging through one of about ten thousand boxes of funnybooks dumped on us from another comic shop that had downsized its stock, thus upsizing our own, when this comic appeared. I really, truly had forgotten this had ever existed. I mean, I remember other Harvey Comics licensed properties from around this time. Beetlejuice, Back to the Future, even The Incredible Crash Dummies. But Beethoven? Whatever brain cells I had devoted to remembering that comic had been published have since been overwritten by, well, more important information, I guess.

This particular issue, dated May 1994, features two stories by Angelo DeCesare and Howard Bender in which our titular hero finds himself in a series of giant dog-related shenanigans, such as getting embroiled in a museum mystery:


Okay, there’s no actual “mystery” as such evident in that panel, but trust me, that image is fraught with foreboding for the terrifying and suspenseful twists and turns that are about infringe upon Beethoven’s idyllic doggie world.

But here, please enjoy Beethoven’s amazing doggie-mugging for the camera from that story, as he contemplates infringing the intellectual property of McGruff the Crime Dog:


Anyway, there were three issues total of this series, at least as far as I can tell. But perhaps it’s still being published today, disseminated via some shadowy network of comics distribution that’s even more shadowy than the one that already exists, passing along copies of Beethoven out of my sight, hidden from my knowledge.

Also, I have a hard time believing the scripts for the Beethoven movies were anywhere close to being this sophisticated: