§ September 7th, 2005§ Filed under UncategorizedComments Off on Post #1001 – Chapter Six: "Sorry, No More Fan-Fic"
I was…otherwise occupied yesterday, so I neglected to mention that the latest installment of my “Behind the Counter” column (in which I discuss the eBay at annoying length) is up over at the new Comic Book Galaxy. L@@K! H@T SEXY RARE VARIANT!
Found via…um, well, I found it somewhere on the internet, I just don’t know where: SF Weekly interviews the heavy metal musician Thor, and asks him how he would fare in battle not just with other rock and roll legends, but with Marvel Comics’ The Mighty Thor as well! (URL may not be safe for work, though the page itself is…well, aside from the title.)
Now all good comic-weblog-reading humans should already be reading the essential Neilalien. But I’m gonna link to him anyway, as one of my favorite things that Neilalien does is his occasional in-depth technical explanations about the way his site works, and how other people can improve their own sites. (For example, I faithfully use the “cite” HTML tag when appropriate, solely due to this post of Mr. Alien’s.) The latest example can be found here, where Neilalien discusses the problems of trying to search his site for discussions of the comic book Top Ten as opposed to “top 10 lists,” as well as his solution to said problem. Interesting stuff, particularly if you hand-tool your own page.
I stumbled across this the other day, as I was doing some Googling around: an informational document from 2002 on Archie Comics’ company and demographics. For a second I thought “wow, I found secret stuff!” — but no, it’s accessible from the main page, though a few menus deep. There are a couple neat things to learn, like that it could cost up to about 12 grand to advertise inside an Archie, or on one of the covers for up to $18,000.
Here are a few choice quotes from that document, describing the Archie brand of comics:
“Major television shows such as Beverly Hills 90210 and Happy Days were modeled on ARCHIE and his pals out of recognition of the success of this property”
“…Interest has been expressed by several organizations to revive the ARCHIES [musical] group”
“The ARCHIE property is hot because of the current resurgence of family values and the desire of parents to find good, wholesome and safe entertainment for their kids”
“An NBC prime-time live action movie of the week showcased ARCHIE and his pals and the movie has been released on video”
“ARCHIE and his pals are a multimedia force which continue to receive untold exposure”
The rest of the document is devoted to brief descriptions of the Archie cast, a history of the company, and a trivia quiz. (No explanation as to what happened to Jughead’s cousin Souphead, however.)
Because you demanded it! Well, because one of you demanded it! Okay, fine, because no one explicitly said “no, stop, don’t do this,” here is the new installment of the End of Civilization, presented by Progressive Ruin and Lucky Strike! “LSMFT!” Pull out your copy of the latest Diamond Previews (the February 2018 edition), smoke ’em if you got ’em, and follow along:
p. 136 – Final Crisis The 10th Anniversary Omnibus HC:
Oh, it’s been ten whole years since our “Final Crisis,” eh? …Then how do you explain THIS?
p. 214 – Son of Hitler HC:
“HELLO, SON.”
“Get out of here, Hate-Monger! You’re not my real dad!”
p. 219 – The Beef #4:
Look, issue #1 of The Beef has been on my new comics rack for a few days now, and not one person has come in to ask “Where’s The Beef?” I’m very disappointed.
p. 285 – The Tremendous Trump: She-Trump #1:
Just the other day I overheard some young folks observing the Trump comics I had on my shelf and wondering “are these pro-Trump or are they making fun of Trump” and I honestly have no idea.
p. 331 – Lady Death Naughtier Limited Edition Artbook HC:
Hey, kids…ass!
p. 456 – The Comic Book Story of Baseball GN:
Probably not explained inside: people coming in to comic shops to sell their baseball cards, and persisting even after it’s been made quite clear that no, the shop doesn’t deal in baseball cards, and no, we don’t want to buy them, and no, we don’t know who is, since it looks like everyone’s trying to sell off their cards and not actually buy any new ones and perhaps I’ve let my personal feelings slip into this item description.
p. 496 – Batman Deluxe Cowl & Illustrated Book Kit:
“This kit includes a 6-inch tall Batman cowl with illumination feature at the lenses.”
[high-pitched raspy voice] “I’M TINY BATMAN.” [eyelights rapidly blink on and off]
PENGUIN: “Yeah, I’m not feelin’ too terrified right now.”
p. 496 – Justice League The 100 Greatest Moments HC:
In honor of the recent passing of David Odgen Stiers, let future editions of this book include his appearance as the first live action version of the Martian Manhunter in the 1997 Justice League pilot:
“…93. Bad
95. Feeling
96. About
97. This
98. Power
99. Converter
And 100. Yippee.”
p. 502 – A History of Video Games in 64 Objects HC:
One of those objects had better be the Magic Dot from the Atari 2600 Adventure or there’s gonna be trouble.
p. 502 – I Am Gandhi: A Graphic Biography:
Let’s hope this is successful so that the sequel can get a comics adaptation as well:
p. 506 – Star Wars Insider #181:
Keepin’ that naked Jawa cover under wraps ’til the absolute last minute, eh, guys? Let’s be honest, that yellow banner is only barely covering his modesty.
p. 542 – Ghostbusters Egon Spengler Proton Pack Legacy Series Replica:
For only $2999.99, you can be the envy of people who wished they could just blow $2999.99 on something like this.
p. 572 – Justice League Batman Bearbrick:
“That’s it, I shall become a bat…! No, wait, not scary enough…what other animal can I mix in there to make myself even more terrifying?”
p. 572 – Peanuts Sally Bearbrick:
ṂὛ ṨẂἝἝҬ ϐᾋϐϐὋὋ Ἷ ἬᾋVἝ ṨȖƇἬ ṨἿƓἬҬṨ ҬὋ ṨἬὋẂ ὛὋȖ
p. 493 – Deadpool Monopoly:
“Heck, go ahead, pass GO! Pass whatever you want! There are no rules here! I’m wacky!”
Marvel Previews p. 28 – Amazing Spider-Man #800:
“The biggest Peter Parker/Norman Osborn story of all time unfolds over one 80-page story, a scope unmatched in comics!”
Here it is, straight off of my stove and delivered steaming hot onto your virtual plate…the latest installment of the End of Civilization, the longest-running regular comics blog feature in the history of comic blogs, which I’m totally saying without any research or confirmation whatsoever! Get out your copies of Diamond Previews, February 2018 edition, and follow along as we take a peek at the future that’s coming:
p. 46 – Xerxes The Fall of the House of Darius and the Rise of Alexander #1:
The Sin City prequel you never expected!
p. 82 – Action Comics #1000:
Sorry, all the ones where he’s not wearing the red trunks don’t count, so it’s still only like issue #905 or thereabouts. …Oh, wait, there were all the Electric Superman issues, too…I’ll have to get back to you on this.
p. 87 – The Terrifics #3:
Guest-starring Abelard Snazz, D.R. & Quinch, Skizz, and Halo Jones!
p. 151-3 – The New Teen Titans Starfire and Robin Multi-Part Statues:
A neat idea, where you buy individual statues that eventually approximate a specific published image, in this case the cover for the original New Teen Titans #1 from 1980:
…which is nice an’ all, but let me know when they start doing the same for this:
p. 158-9 – Sonic The Hedgehog #1-#4:
So will we get a reboot on the fan art, too, or will that weirdness just continue on as-is?
p. 251 et al. – Marvel Gallery Savage Land Rogue PVC Diorama:
I feel like this is really stretching the definition of “diorama?” I mean, I guess it’s technically correct, but not really in the diorama spirit. It does come in window box packaging, which would make it more diorama-ish I suppose. …Look, I’m just nitpicking this so I don’t think about how much of a problem it is for here to be so…uncovered when the barest touch of her skin could debilitate another person, lack of fashion options in the Savage Land or no.
…I know I’m like decades late to this argument.
p. 477 – 100 Things X-Men Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die SC:
OH MY GOD they’re all DYING? …Well, that would explain sales on the comics.
p. 486 – The Art of Ready Player One HC:
They finally found something to do with the unsold copies of the art books for Iron Giant and Lord of the Rings.
p. 487 – Harry Potter Talking Dobby with Book Kit:
“Master has given Dobby a book!”
Well, um, not exact–
“Master has also given Dobby a kit!”
Aren’t…aren’t you part of–?
“Master also gave Dobby this wonderful base for him to stand on!”
I’m pretty sure you’re just molded to–
“And look at this great box Master has given Dobby to stay in!”
IS THERE ANY WAY WE CAN GET RID OF THE “TALKING” PART OF THIS TALKING DOBBY KIT
p. 487 – Star Trek Light & Sound Borg Cube Kit:
“The kit includes a light-up Borg cube with sound, display base, and 48-page book on the history of Borg cubes and full-color photos.”
“Here’s the Borg cube crossing the Delaware River…and here are some Borg cubes building the Sphinx…and here they are nailing the Ninety-Five Theses to the chapel door….”
“Boy, they’re really padding out this 48-page book, aren’t they?”
p. 494 – Mystery Science Theater 3000 Trading Cards Series One:
“All the sticks of gum packed with these cards taste funny.” “Oh, that’s what happened to the hamdingers!”
p. 499 – Ten Cents T-Shirt:
Why, I remember when comic book t-shirts were only a nickel!
p. 502 – We Bare Bears “Internet Famous” Oxford T-Shirt:
Finally, a shirt in Previews that’s just for me. Well, I’ll have to scribble the prefix “SEMI-” before “INTERNET” on the shirt there, you know, out of my well-known and highly-regarded modesty.
p. 520 – Alien Facebugger Life-Size Prop Replica:
“…So basically, Grandma, Giger designed this to be like an independent and ambulatory sex organ for the Alien!”
“That’s…that’s nice, dear, but maybe we could take it off the table for Easter dinner?”
p. 523 – DC Jimmy Olsen as Superman Action Figure:
Look, we’re just gonna need action figures of every one of Jimmy’s permutations, some of which seen here:
I’m sure some already exist in custom form (like Porcupine Olsen). And yes, we’ll need Leslie Lowe, Girl Reporter. How could we not?
p. 561 – Minions Dave Bearbricks:
Well, sure, the Minions are a bit overplayed right now, but at least they’re cute and funnylooAUGH
p. 561 – Robocop Bearbricks:
“I’d bear that for a dollar!”
p. 593 – Harry Potter Light-Up Notebooks:
“Stay on top of your Hogwarts class notes with these Harry Potter themed notebooks with covers that light up like magic!”
“That’s funny, the ‘Dumbledore Is Gay’ message doesn’t light up on this one. Wonder why?”
p.604 – Stranger Things Monopoly:
Do not pass GO, do not pass up a single 1980s pop culture reference, apparently.
p. 605 – The Walking Dead All Out War Miniatures Game Core Set:
Reenact the ongoing conflict between Rick’s crew and the Saviors with this exciting tabletop war game…and if things don’t go your way, you can always smash everything and knock it to the floor with the Lucille “Take It Like a Champ” Edition 32-Inch Bat conveniently offered again on page 537 of this very Previews:
Pull yourself together, man! Can’t you see we have a whole new End of Civilization to get through? Pick up your May 2017 edition of Diamond Previews and follow me…into glory:
p. 154 – TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo:
Finally, the long-awaited follow-up on the evolution vs. creation discussion from Usagi Yojimbo Vol. 2 #2:
It was 11 years between The Hero Discovered and The Hero Defined, and it’s been almost 20 years since the end of that second series and the beginning of this new one. Man, it’s going to be like forty years between the end of The Hero Denied and the 2058 debut of The Hero Disco-Dances. Guess I’d better eat healthy if I’m going to be around for that one.
p. 242-3 – The Walking Dead Lucille Ballpoint Pen / Glenn Legacy Edition Action Figure
Oddly, not a gift set.
p. 283 – The Tremendous Trump:
Just trying to picture the kinds of comics we would have had with Hillary or Bernie, and, well, silver linings and all that.
p. 336-7 – Centipede #1:
Not looking forward to the eventual Custer’s Revenge comic. However, I totally call dibs on writing the Haunted House one.
p. 349 – Gwar Orgasmageddon #2:
The ultra-rare variant is of course the version where you open up the cover and you’re immediately sprayed head-to-toe with…well, let’s say “blood,” if you’re lucky.
p. 359 – No Panties, No Problem 1:
“Why, that was my high school’s prom the–”
“Mike.”
“That was on the sign we had by the door at my old jo–”
Rise above my war, as the thirsty and miserable overcome their depression and life of pain with a six pack and a tv party over three nights. Jealous again?
p. 479 – Awesome Activities for Super Heroes SC:
“Batman, the Joker’s escaped again! You must come quickly!”
“I can’t right now, Commissioner, I’m…um, in the middle of something.”
“…You’re doodling again, aren’t you?”
“…NO.”
p. 479 – Batman & Robin Adventures: Catwoman’s Purrfect Plot TP:
“So, darrrrling, do you know what…comes after the ‘rising action?'”
“Holy literary innuendo!”
p. 480 – DC Super Girls Katana at Super Hero High SC:
Sadly, Katana was expelled immediately for bringing a weapon on campus, and is currently facing charges.
p. 486 – 100 Things Game of Thrones Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die SC:
“#48: Die like a Games of Thrones character.”
GOT FAN: “Uh…what?”
p. 583 – Toy Box Sofubi 013: Humpback Whale Soft Vinyl Figure:
Finally, my Star Trek IV action figure set is complete. Well, once I buy two of these, anyway.
p. 623 – Nintendo Mario and Toshi Adult Inflatable Costume:
“Itsa me! A fetish for someone!”
p. 627 – Pac-Man Chocolate Cream Sticks:
Just like the Chocolate Cream Sticks Pac-Man eats in the g–what? No, not the dots. They’re, like, one of the bonus fruits that appear, right? …Look, just eat the cream sticks. They’re tasty.
p. 635 – The Terminator The Official Board Game:
“OH NO I HAF FALLEN DOWN A CHOOOOT, I MUST GET TO THE LAD-DUH”
Look, just say it really loud. It’s hilarious.
p. 636 – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Monopoly:
Groot to jail. Groot directly to…no, huh? Look, they can’t all be winners.
p. 636 – Pirates of the Caribbean Ultimate Monopoly:
You know, Pirates of the Caribbean Monopoly was fun the first couple of times, but by the, oh, fifth go-round, it kinda wears out its welcome.
p. 636 – Pirates of the Caribbean Battleship:
“So let’s parley, savvy? Savvy the ol’ parley, do we? Then parley we shall, savvy!”
“Look, I’m sinking my own battleship. I’m dead ‘n’ gone. I’M OUT”
Okay, you hockey pucks, try to keep up…if it helps, mouth the words as you read along in your copy of the April 2017 Diamond Previews, assuming you cheapskates actually bought it for yourselves:
p. 113 – Batman/Elmer Fudd Special #1:
There are a whole slew of Looney Tunes characters teaming up with DC superheroes, but the one I want to see most is Gabby Goat teaming up with, well…anybody:
Can’t you just see him hangin’ out with, I don’t know, Green Arrow? They could exchange beard-grooming tips.
p. 130 – DC Universe Rebirth Omnibus Expanded Edition HC:
Reissued in order to include comics that debuted after the first edition of this volume…I hope Rebirth goes on for years just to see how fat this book gets. “DC Universe Rebirth Omnibus Expanded 14th Edition – Now Includes Steel Hand Truck.”
p. 134 – DC Super Hero Girls A Kids Coloring Book:
Wait…what if the companies decide they can save money by releasing all their comics in black and white and calling them all “coloring books?” …Actually, might get a more significant portion of the general public interested in comics, come to think of it.
p. 141 – Watchmen The Annotated Edition HC:
“And on this page, we see Dr. Manhattan’s wiener again! Tee hee!”
p. 168 – Clue #1:
Will this comic be called Cluedo when released outside the U.S.? Asking for a guy who’s semi-obsessed with the fact everyone else calls it “Cluedo” – a guy who definitely isn’t me, by the way.
p. 202 – Shirtless Bear Fighter #1:
Rack with “Guy in Bat Costume Who Punches Weird Criminals” and “Man with Spider-Powers Who Has Problems.” Will still likely be asked by someone “what’s this about?”
p. 312 – Jungle Fantasy Annual 2017 Beautifed:
From the solicitation:
“‘Beautified’ is our name for variant interior artwork, with less clothes! So the story just got more nude.”
I can’t even make fun. They know what they want, and what their audience wants, and it sells. I admire its purity. …Also, I think this was sort of the same thing Barry Blair did with the old Leather and Lace comic.
p. 332 – Mighty Mouse #1:
Yes, that’s a realistically-painted Mighty Mouse cover by Alex Ross you see there. That started me to thinking about a realistic live-action Mighty Mouse…like, an actual mouse, with a little cape, that just darts from nook to cranny, poops and pees on everything, and chews and shreds whatever it can, and makes everything around it just plain smell funny. …Look, I can’t stop the future, I can only prepare you for it.
p. 358 – Walt Disney’s Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck The Don Rosa Library Vol. 7 The Treasure of the Ten Avatars:
In which Donald and Scrooge uncover James Cameron’s upcoming film plans.
p. 478 – Best of Fresh Natural Girls HC:
I can’t wait to find out about all the comics these girls like! I mean, why else would this be in the catalog?
p. 480 – 100 Things Spider-Man Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die SC:
I propose a follow-up, One Thing Spider-Man Fans Should Do As They Die, which would of course be “Let Spider-Man catch you after being thrown off a bridge.”
p. 484 – Spider-Man Doodles SC:
I can’t believe they brought the 1990s Marvel Tryout Book back into print.
p. 484 – Marvel’s Spider-Man Mad Libs:
Please please please let there be “with great [noun] comes great [noun].”
p. 504 – Previews Cover Marvel Secret Empire Black T-Shirt SC:
Whoa, hold on, when did this start happening? And if they’re actually doing t-shirts with Previews covers, then I know which one I want:
p. 505 – Previews Logo T-Shirts:
Ah, the all-purpose Previews t-shirt, the official clothing in which to read my “End of Civilization” posts, and conveniently available for preorder at Sterling Silver Comics!
p. 540 – Twin Peaks Log Lady/Log Pin Mate Set:
This looks all the world like the Log Lady had a log costume she would occasionally put on to fight, like, owl-crime. And, to be honest, we haven’t seen the upcoming Twin Peaks revival so, you know, maybe she does.
p. 551 – Twin Peaks Action Figures – Laura in Plastic:
Brother, look at all that action. …Unless they’re talking about Laura’s body being the catalyst for action from the other characters in the show, in which case I salute their extension of the descriptor “action” in this context.
p. 560 – Marvel Deadpool Wood Nesting Doll Set:
And inside that fifth doll…an itty-bitty Deathstroke.
p. 583 – Star Wars The Force Awakens BB-8 Silicone Tray:
I see they were finally able to repurpose the poorly-selling “Deformed Conjoined Tangerines Silicone Tray.”
p. 624 – Power Rangers Movie Adult Helmet:
pfffft PLEASE, as if any adults like the Power Rangers!
p. 627 – The Walking Dead Lucille 36-inch Foam Replica Bat:
Handy for helping you pretend to cave in the skulls of your friends as they kneel quaking in fear before you, and much easier to clean than an actual bat wrapped in real barbed wire!
p. 627 – The Walking Dead Large Walker Bite Costume Effects Appliance:
Cover up those embarrassing hickeys with something only slightly less embarrassing!
p. 634 – The Walking Dead AMC Monopoly:
“Pass GO, Pass Jail, Just Keep Going Around in Circles Indefinitely.”
p. 636 – Sonic the Hedgehog 25th Anniversary Art Book HC:
“And I’m also including a chapter featuring all the fan-art from Tumblr!”
“GREAT SCOTT, MAN…are you trying to get us arrested?”
Marvel Previews p. 76 – X-Men Blue #5:
This is such a terrible blurring job that I can only assume they want you to think this is who it looks like but it actually isn’t, unless it is who you think it is and they’re just trying to make you think that it isn’t because why would they make it so obvious? Hm, this must be that “four dimensional chess” I’ve been hearing so much about lately.
Marvel Previews p. 103 – Muppet Babies Omnibus HC:
At last, the classic all-ages comic is back in print, in the $75 hardcover format that children love!
I’d been on hiatus from the Trouble with Comics crew for a bit, since of late what small amount of blogging time I’ve had I’ve been focusing right here on this site, keeping the content up, patching up some old entries, and otherwise justifying the ol’ Patreon. But, the Trouble with Comics Question Time feature was hitting its 50th installment, and who am I to pass up an anniversary issue?
The Question this time was simply to list 50 Things We Loved About Comics, and you can read our answers in the three installments right here (123) and my entry is located in Part the Second.
Those of you who’ve been around a while may remember three consecutive Valentine’s Day entries where I listed “100 Things I Love About Comics” in each — they’rerighthere and I should warn you I haven’t fixed any dead links in those posts yet. As I say in the first post, that was inspired by a couple of Fred Hembeck strips (12) and by a post by Chief Troublemaker Alan David Doane (which included my then-relatively new site, which surprised the heck out of me!). Lots of people did lists of their own, but leave it to Tom Spurgeon to have unleashed the 1000 Things He Loves About Comics, and hoo boy that’s hard to beat.
Anyway, for my new Top 50 list I was going to do something similar to my old Top 100 lists…just list a bunch of stuff I like, whether it’s characters or creators or titles or what have you. In fact, my first pass at my entry, I did just that…and it turned out I duplicated quite a bit from my old lists, and I didn’t want to do exactly what I’d done before. So the second time ’round I tried to stick to just listing specific events in comics (though a couple more general entries slipped in there), and I hope you are reminded of some fun things when you read my entry (and everyone else’s entries, too!) or maybe are intrigued by some bit of nonsense you hadn’t heard of before.
When I started my second pass at that list, I figured “oh man, this is going to take forever,” but I’m pleased to say that it took hardly any time at all to fill up all fifty spots. I had plenty more besides, and of course a day or two later I’m thinking of entries that should have been in that list but they simply slipped my mind.
Top of that “shoulda been in dere” list is Hawkman #4 in which we learn at long last the secret identity of Kite Man, who turns out to be a real blockhead. I can’t believe I left it off the list, but one of the wonders of the Comics Internet is that I been able to tell the writer of said issue, the eternally swell Tony Isabella, how much I loved that comic, so hopefully that makes up for my recent forgetfulness.
I also forgot to mention Lex Luthor anywhere in that list, which stuns me because I do loves me some Lex Luthor. It’d be hard for me to narrow it down to just one entry, but I think that one panel in Superman #149 (1961), “The Death of Superman,” where Luthor contemptuously thinks “The puny ants!” as he is on trial for Superman’s murder. Maybe more generally, I always liked those stories where Luthor is shown that, despite his hatred for Superman, he’s not entirely a monster and reveals some soft spot or ‘nother for, like, his sister, or for Einstein, or something like that. That’s an element lost in post-Crisis Luthor, who was just straight up pure evil, 24/7. (Maybe that’s part of the reason why I’m enjoying the Rebirth Superman titles so much, with Luthor’s redemption arc…he’s still an arrogant jerk, but he seems to be doing the right thing.)
And then there’s Dr. Doom, who really should have been in there somewhere, too. Again, it’s hard to pin down one particular moment or story…maybe that one Fantastic Four issue where we follow Doom around during a typical day in his country of Latveria. Or more generally, I just love the fact that Reed Richards and Doom were once (very briefly, like for what, a minute?) college roommates, now mortal enemies which I expect more than a few people can relate to.
And plenty more besides. Nobody needs to tell me what else I forgot…believe me, I know. I did manage to keep the Swamp Thing entries down to just one, but it’s a good’un. There are entries for three different Frank Miller Batman-related things, however. You’re welcome!
So…nice civilization you’ve got here. Shame if something…happened to it. Say, why don’t you follow along with me in your March 2016 edition of Diamond Previews before something…unfortunate should occur:
p. 76 – Snoopy Qee Mystery Box Series:
Revealed at last: the hideous results of the unspeakable experiments at the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm.
p. 80 – Scooby Apocalypse #1:
Sure, you’re all makin’ fun of this now, but once Scrappy-Doo is revealed as the leader of Bartertown, you’ll all come crawling back.
p. 152 – Wonder Woman Action Figure 3-Pack:
You’re gonna do a three-pack of Wonder Woman figures and you don’t do the classic Wonder Tot/Wonder Girl/Wonder Woman team-up?
I don’t even know, DC…I don’t even know.
p. 422 – Batman Facts and Stats from the Classic TV Show HC:
Looking forward to the comparison chart showing “Number of Heart Palpitations Caused by Reminding Batman Fans of This TV Show Prior to, Say, The Year 2000 VERSUS After About That Point.”
p. 451 – Scumbag Loser Omnibus GN:
You know, at this rate I’m not going to have any potential titles left for my eventual autobiography.
p. 460 – 100 Things Superman Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die:
Here’s hoping “actually read a Superman comic” is somewhere in there.
p. 463 – Superman Classic: Pranking News SC:
I’d almost forgotten about the Mxyzptlk New 52 redesign. “Fievel Goes to the Fifth Dimension,” I guess.
p. 464 – Doctor Who Mad Libs:
“It’s [ADJECTIVE] on the [LOCATION]!” “Quickly, [VERB] the [NOUN] of the neutron [NOUN]!” “Oh for [DEITY]’s sake, not [NAME OF COMPANION] again.”
p. 468 – Star Trek What Would Captain Kirk Do? SC:
Wait? “What would Captain Kirk do?” Find out exactly what he did by reading this book solicited on page 422 of this very issue of Previews!
p. 479 – Team Cap T-Shirt:
I think we can all admit now that we really wanted Bella to hook up with Captain America and not that vampire or werewolf or whatever.
p. 494 – Marvel Minimates Series 67 Civil War 2-Packs Asst.:
I see Cap and Iron Man already have the pre-distressed “accidentally left in the sandbox and then dug up a couple of years later” look to them. Why, in my day, we had to do that the hard way. You kids today have got it too easy.
p. 508 – Batman V Superman Super Deformed Plushies:
“DO YOU BWEED”
p. 521 – Pixel The Matrix 4-Pack:
At last, the perfect ice-breaker for conversations with your teenage relatives, which will usually start with them asking “…What are those? Is that based on some old movie or video game or something?” before they wander off playing with some new tech something-or-other you don’t understand and you feel that creak in your bones, surely that creak’s not getting stronger and anyway ha ha I’m just kidding, but seriously, death comes for us all. …Thanks for shopping.
…courtesy of the Great Stuffed Bull of the Galaxy, Bully: 100 Things That Make Star Trek Great, a real tour-DeForest of amusing pics and appropriate fontage. (Bully asks that you add your own Things That Make Star Trek Great in the comments, which, um, I may have done.)
§ August 6th, 2008§ Filed under UncategorizedComments Off on More linkblogging…
…since I still feel bleah and I’d rather let everybody else do the work for me.
I know he’s been advertising in the sidebar recently, because he’s a kind and generous man, but I wanted to draw extra attention to Scott Saavedra’s updated-weekly webstrip Java Town. Mr. Saavedra is a swell cartoonist, and as a fan of his work for, lessee, 22 years now, I want to give him whatever support I can.
I haven’t pointed out this site since, well, I probably first added it to the sidebar, but Size Matters reviews mini-comics, which I love and haven’t bought enough of lately. It pleases me to know that people are still doing minis and not, say, going straight for the webcomic thing.
Apparently the recent release of the Hembeck Omnibus has inspired yet another go around of “100 Things I Love About Comics,” based on Fred’s strips on that topic. Well, folks are just doing fifty things this time around, which, you know, fair enough.
I almost had a “100 Things” Valentine’s Day tradition going, inspired by Hembeck and Alan David Doane, doing my list of 100 in 2005 along with a bunch of other people, following up in 2006 and 2007, but I blew it this year when, um, I forgot until it was too late. Ah, well. Maybe I’ll try again in 2009.
Of course, we all must bow to Tom Spurgeon’s list of a thousand things, which he did because he’s Tom Freakin’ Spurgeon and he shows us How Things Are Done just as a matter of course.
Article on comics in classrooms vis-à-vis the San Diego Con titled with “POW! ZOWIE! Teachers discover the comic book.” At least they had the good taste to illustrate the article with an America’s Best Comics cover from the ’40s.
Also, just to note: the article mentions that fifteen years ago many professors would have mocked the idea of studying comics in the classroom. Well, not the late Professor Frank McConnell, whom I had as a professor at UCSB about 18 years ago, and was assigned in his courses The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen. My memories of those classes was one of the earliest posts on this site.
There’s a totally unnecessary slam on Captain Planet at the end of the article, too. That’s hard cheese, old bean.
Speaking of Swamp Thing, Showcase Presents House of Secrets volume 1 is out this week, and in response to your massive amount of inquiries (well, okay, one), I will be buying this to obtain the eleventh version of House of Secrets #92, the first appearance of Swamp Thing.
It’s a sickness.
And more speaking of Swamp Thing: this columnist is tired of comic book movies, and I suppose I really can’t blame him. However, he refers to the first Swamp Thing movie as “terrible,” which is bad enough (the movie’s merely misunderstood), and, even more surprisingly, he refers to the sequel Return of the Swamp Thing as “forgettable.” Man, take it from me…if you’ve seen Return of the Swamp Thing, I’m sure you could come up with many words to describe it, but “forgettable” wouldn’t be one of them. I mean C’MON.
Apparently my re-linking of Harry Knowles’ entirely appalling Blade II review, even if just in my Twitter thingie, has caused terror and despair, fear and anguish, mothers to disown children, brother to turn on brother, etc. So, I promise not to link to it any more. Honest. You’ll never have to think about that review ever again. No need to thank me.
And now, by popular demand…Alan Moore’s favorite superhero:
§ February 15th, 2008§ Filed under UncategorizedComments Off on "I don’t like DC’s heroes. They’re all too goody-goody."
So anyway, I had every intention of putting together another list of a hundred items that I love about comic books, like I’ve done for the last three Valentine’s Days. But, alas, time got away from me, and it just wasn’t going to happen this year. Sorry, gang. I am pleased to note that Bill at Trusty Plinko Stick picked up the slack and continued the tradition, so everyone please go to his site and appreciate his efforts.
Reader Julius responded to my gag about just listing “All Star Batman” for each of the hundred entries by suggesting I do “100 Things I Love about All Star Batman.”
Hmmmm…I bet I can do it. Watch this space, and I’ll see what I can do. (Because if not me, then who? Who?)
At the store:
Me: “Now remember, Employee Aaron, when it comes to alphabetizing comics, it’s always Darkness before the Dawn.”
Aaron: “I quit. Again.”
Did anyone else watch Shoot ‘Em Up and think “this is what a good Punisher movie would be like.” You know, if they allowed something like a Punisher movie to have any “life” or “energy” or “style.” Maybe someday they’ll go back and digitally add a white skull to Clive Owen’s shirt and make it into a Punisher movie retroactively.
This movie kicks ass, by the way. I was talking to someone about it the other day and mentioned the opening “childbirth/shoot-out” scene, and realized that pretty much every scene in the film can be described as a “[something]/shoot-out” scene.
Terrific Tim O’Neil let me know that not only is there a “How This Works” article on Superman Vs. Jedi (as you all first saw here, and recently popped up again here), but he also let me know that How Stuff Works link made the front news page of Yahoo. It’s gone too far, too far. (EDIT: I just rewrote this section so that it now makes some kind of sense. Don’t write your blogs when you’re half-asleep, kids!)
Following up on his post about the Blackhawks’ Chop Chop, comes…another post on Chop Chop, this time featuring a post-Chaykin Blackhawks’ version of the character reacting to his own racist caricature in a Blackhawk comic book.
Alan Doane is conducting a poll on comics retailing, and is gathering responses through Sunday, February 17th, at midnight. Prizes to be won! And when you tell him about having to deal with me at the shop while I’m drunk, remember that I’m lovably drunk like Arthur. And you might not want to mention “Pantsless Thursdays.”
Things that sadden me: that there’s a “bloody” variant of the new X-Force #1’s cover, featuring blood and chunky stuff all over costumes, claws, other pointy bits, etc. Hmm. They’ll be doing this for issue #2 as well.
It’s selling okay, though…once people are reassured that there’s no Rob Liefeld involvement, they’re willing to give it a try.
Many years ago, in my pre-comics retail days, I had a subscription to a mailed newsletter from another store (now long since defunct). In the newsletter was a section marked “BEST INVESTMENTS,” that would usually list a bunch of #1s, and books by people who just happened to have been at that shop for a signing recently.
In this particular example of the newsletter I’m looking at, it has the list of suggested titles (including Nathaniel Dusk #1, Hercules #1, Amazing Spider-Man #250, and so on), but also includes this follow-up paragraph:
“Most number ones will go up in value. Also there are some titles that are more than doubling their cover price value. These titles you can buy that shoot up in worth are: Thor, X-Men, Alpha Flight, Fantastic Four, Teen Titans, Legion of Super-Heroes, Camelot 3000. If you have any questions or need advice to buy comics as an investment, just ask us. After all, it’s our business.”
Oh good gravy, talk about things I would never ever ever do at our store. I’ve noted my reasons why on the site several times in the past — primarily, so that a customer who invested in a comic I suggested and eventually goes nowhere doesn’t come back to the shop and stab me to death with a backing board folded into a knife. Even if some of the comics do go up in value (generally not by much, for the most part), that just seems like a bad behavior to encourage in your customer base. (See also the ’90s market crash.)
By the way, this shop was also the one where I overheard this conversation between a couple of other customers looking at a poster of DC Comics superheroes:
Customer #1: “I don’t like DC’s heroes. They’re all too goody-goody.”
Customer #2: “Yeah, they’re not serious and cool like Marvel’s.”
Okay, you hockey pucks, try to keep up…if it helps, mouth the words as you read along in your copy of the April 2017 Diamond Previews, assuming you cheapskates actually bought it for yourselves:
