Please let there be one of these about John Constantine’s pet tarantula.

So I finally picked up one of those DC Super Pets kids books for myself, and it should probably be obvious why:


Yup, it’s because I loves me some opossums. Also, Swamp Thing is in this book.

It’s a prose book, done in the classic kid book style with many colorful illustrations, giving me flashbacks to my long-ago tenure as a children’s librarian. There’s a section at the front of the book presenting an illustrated dramatis personae of the folks within, informing us that those four animals with Swampy on the cover are in fact his pets, the Down Home Critter gang (Mossy the Skunk, Merle the Possum, Loafers the Basset Hound, and Starlene the Raccoon).

The story involves Solomon Grundy and his own legion of evil pets attempting to raise up the dead pets from all the pet cemeteries around the world as his personal army…pretty gruesome for a kid’s book, I think as an adult in my forties, while realizing from personal library experience that kids would be perfectly okay with this. Anyway, Batman and Ace the Bathound are involved, because why not, and when Swamp Thing takes off with Batman in the Batplane to handle trouble elsewhere in the marshlands:


…that leaves the Down Home Critter Gang to deal with the menace for the majority of the story.

It’s all cute and funny, with Solomon’s pets being suitably gross, and it’s charmingly illustrated by Art Baltazar, which should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with his work from Tiny Titans or Superman Family. Plus, there are some nice shots of Swamp Thing throughout, including a full page image of him shaking hands with Batman, which is probably the last thing I ever expected to see in a children’s picture book. And at one point, Solomon Grundy stands in a graveyard and commands “rise, zombie pets, rise!” which reminds me of Blackest Night so I’m going to think of this as tie-in, just because.

Speaking of bookmarks….


1987 bookmark, found in a book purchased at a garage sale. The Bat-ears are a little worn, but still, woe betide any master criminal who dares try to lose someone’s place!

And then there was that time Superman had just about enough of the Joker’s lip.


Speaking of lips, I like that the Joker’s only apparent cell decoration is a representation of his own smackers around his window:


Sure was nice of Arkham Asylum to paint up the Joker’s wall ‘specially for him. …Unless, of course, the Asylum staff wasn’t responsible for it, and the Joker just up and painted those lips himself…which raises the question what he painted them with, and frankly, we’re better off not knowing. (Maybe he sneaked in some fingerpaints from the patient activity room, but then I start wondering “whose fingers” and, well, there we go.)

images from DC Comics Presents #72 (August 1984) by Paul Kupperberg, Alex Saviuk & Dennis Jensen

“Him not white like us…!”

We interrupt our continuing discussion about rereading old comics to bring you Bizarro Joker:

from DC Comics Presents #71 (July 1984) by E. Nelson Bridwell, Curt Swan & Dave Hunt

Bargain-priced? Sure, I’d buy it.

I particularly could have used that trunk-loaded giant boxing glove yesterday on a driver that was stuck in traffic right behind me, leaning on her horn trying to get me to move when I was very obviously blocked by a truck stopped right in front of me:


Of course, if it were a big ol’ freaking Joker car in front of that person, I doubt she’d been honking, because, well, I’m sure she wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened to poor ol’ Charlie.

Anyway, let’s just take a moment and enjoy a fine Batman splash page by Jim Aparo. Fine work by a true comics legend.
 

from Brave and the Bold #191 (October 1982) by Dan Mishkin, Gary Cohn, and Jim Aparo

I believe I have found the perfect tattoo idea for Chris Sims…

…and it’s the image from this 1995 DC ad template:


Just picture that emblazoned across the manly chest of the nerdinet’s premiere Batmanologist…Forever.

I would also like to take issue with the premise of this ad, from the same Batman Forever campaign:


As I recall, the Bat-frenzy that hit during the initial Tim Burton Bat-films release didn’t repeat itself for the following films in the franchise. I think we may have seen a slight bump in interest when Batman Returns came out, but the Batfilm-bump was pretty much no longer a sales influence by the time Forever was released. (And is it just me, or does that picture of Batman anticipate the post-Flashpoint redesign nearly 16 years ahead of time?)

And, from 1997…yeah:


“There might be Batman and Robin memorabilia in this store? We better not go in!”

If that’s a mass-produced storebought Superboy Identity Detection Kit, Clark’s in big trouble.

Now, if I were Bully, I’d probably have dozens of examples ready to go, but alas, I am no stuffed bull, and thus only have the two immediately available. But I do so love the occasional chart, diagram, or other collection of evidence used when someone is trying to puzzle out some secret identity or other:


I also liked when the handlettered text is thoughtfully arranged so that none of it would be obscured when someone placed their thumb over the page.

And then there’s this cover detail from one of the earliest Superboy stories I ever remember reading (in a ’70s reprint):


I hope those aren’t a pair of Clark’s glasses made using the glass from his Kryptonian rocket ship that brought him to Earth as a baby. The material for those are in limited supply, and you’d figure Clark would keep better tabs on them.

I wonder if there’s something like this in a Green Arrow comic, with pictures of Oliver Queen and Green Arrow side by side with the notation “Queen’s beard and Arrow’s beard – CONNECTION?”
 

images from Superboy #93 (December 1961) by Curt Swan and Stan Kaye, and Batman #134 (September 1960) by Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff

If Ragdoll existed in real life, he probably would look just that creepy.

So hey, the final cover by Ardian Syaf and Vicente Cifuentes for Brightest Day Aftermath: The Search for Swamp Thing #1 has been revealed with the previously blacked-out figures now not blacked-out, and they are revealed to be…


…John Constantine and Zatanna! Well, I can see why they blacked out Constantine, since he was the big surprise reveal at the end of Brightest Day #24 (er…SPOILER), but not so sure why Zatanna was kept under wraps. Ah, well, I’m sure they had their reasons.

And in DC’s ongoing quest to part me from my money by forcing me…yes, forcing, at gunpoint…to buy two copies of the same damned thing, here’s the limited retailer incentive variant cover by J.G. Jones for said #1:


Well…okay, that’s pretty good. Kinda prefer this one to the regular cover. But it doesn’t matter because I’m getting both, regardless.

That first cover is fairly amusing, though, with dour ol’ Batman, Superman and Zatanna pulling their best sourpuss faces, with John lightin’ up a smoke right there in front of them. Just the idea of Constantine pulling his irreverent “I’m gonna jerk you guys around and you won’t even realize it” routine on DC’s superfellas (and gals) sounds like fun. Let’s hope it is.

This put me in the mind of other times Constantine kinda sorta met Superman and Batman…he’s met Zatanna plenty of times, of course, since she’s a bit easier to fit into Constantine’s milieu. But to squeeze Batman and Superman together with our favorite Hellblazer, one must look back to the mid-1980s and Crisis on Infinite Earths:


That’s from Swamp Thing #46 (March 1986), and I think this is the only time Batman, Superman and Constantine appear together in the same image ’til that cover up above. I’m sure someone will correct me if I’m wrong.

Of course, they’re not really interacting there at all. They just happen to be in the same room during that scene shown in Crisis on Infinite Earths #5, where several dozen characters are gathered together on the Monitor’s satellite. (Constantine doesn’t seem to actually be in that two-page group shot in Crisis #5, though Swamp Thing is. NOTE: I’m also bad at “Where’s Waldo,” so don’t take my word for it.) However, a couple of issues earlier, Constantine and former Doom Patrol associate Mento (whom Constantine is manipulating toward his own ends) run into a familiar Caped Crusader during the early stages of the Crisis:


I don’t know why I find this funny, but after Batman makes his “well, nice to meet you, but I gots things to do, kids” parting remarks, there’s this great panel of Batman running away:


That shot of Batman putting on his “I’m thinking really hard” face is a good one, too.

UNRELATED except for the fact that this is from one of the Swamp Thing comics I was scanning pics from: in #46 we see all the heroes (plus Swampy and John) called together by Alexander Luthor, the son of the Earth-3 Luthor (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, ask someone old to explain it to you), and Swamp Thing has this reaction to hearing the name:


Now, I don’t know if this is one of these things I’ve noticed before but it’s been so long since I’ve reread these I’ve forgotten, or that I just picked up on it now, but Swampy’s “premonition” is apparently of his seeming “death” a few months later in #53, in which Lex Luthor (of Earth One, or Post-Crisis Earth, or whatever you want to call it) was involved.

Or possibly the premonition was foreshadowing that, 20 years later in the Infinite Crisis crossover event series, Alexander Luthor would turn into a complete asshole. …Hey, given Alan Moore’s dabbling in the magical realms, I wouldn’t put it past him foreseeing this.

panels from Swamp Thing #44 (January 1986) by Alan Moore, Steve Bissette, Ron Randall and John Totleben; and Swamp Thing #46 (March 1986) by Moore, Bissette and Totleben

“Spiderman is all, ‘Yo, dude! Check out mah spiderskills. I love how radioactivity is equal to magic.'”

From Yahoo! Answers:


This response gets right to the point:

“batman is a superhero dont listen to what anyone says they r complete dumb asses lol batman could very well be the greatest superhero in DC he might not have superpowers but he can defeat superman”

This next person goes the comparison route:

“batman is probably the best superhero. All the others are cheap.
Superman just says ‘hold a sec, busy flying and being a superhuman alien who’s indistinguishable from humans.’
Spiderman is all, ‘Yo, dude! Check out mah spiderskills. I love how radioactivity is equal to magic’
But batman says, ‘Hey, with a butt-load of money, anyone can be a superhero.'”

I’m assuming he meant “Spider-Man.”

BONUS: Everything old is new again:


Best answer, as chosen by the person originally asking the question:

“Only if it’s powered by kryptonite!”

Kryptonite lightsabres, man. Possibly the greatest thing the Internet has brought us (as discussed before).