Part Two of my look back at your 2011 predictions; plus, I totally steal a joke from Mystery Science Theater 3000, and I apparently don’t know what “truncated” means.

§ January 13th, 2012 § Filed under blogging about blogging is a sin, predictions § 11 Comments

So I received a call very early Thursday morning telling me the store alarm is going off, and the police are there waiting for me to show up…and when I finally arrive, I see that our glass front door had been smashed. Some of you may remember that this has happened before…but unlike that instance, which just apparently vandalism, this was definitely burglary. All they got away with was a five-year-old laptop computer that didn’t have any vital information on it, but still…it’s a drag.

Thus we had a morning of sweeping up glass and calling around for replacement glass…and unlike last time, we should have the new glass within a day, instead of waiting for it forever.

This is my long-way-’round of explaining why my 2011 predictions post for today will be slightly truncated. I know, I know, I could probably let it slide a day and you’d all understand, but I need to distract myself, and hey, I got a blog, might as well use it.

Speaking of which: now, I know everyone just assumes I am the all-knowing master of all things comic book-related; flawless and magnificent. Alas, I am only a mere human, just like you…well, maybe a little better than you. However, I can make mistakes and forget things and just plain miss things outright, and my post yesterday was no exception. For example, I either hadn’t known or simply forgot that, unlike what I said yesterday, there were some digital-only releases as indicated by Randal and Dr. Polite Scott in the comments.

I have repeatedly admitted that I am not up on digital distribution stuff, beyond 1) it exists, and 2) Marvel and DC are directly marketing it in comics they’re sending to comic book stores, so I really don’t know a lot about preferred formats and such, so I appreciate it that Bruce and Kevin have attempted to clue me in a bit on all this.

Once again, taking the long-way-’round: if there are any more predictions that I don’t know enough about to comment upon, I may very well call upon one of you folks to chime in and help me out. I know the thing right now is to deride and eschew comments sections (ahem), but by and large, the readers who engage with me here in my comments sections have usually been helpful and funny and interesting. Yes, yes, in every pile of Star Wars figures there’s the occasional Ric Olie, but for the most part, I think my comment sections add to the experience rather than detract. Well, aside from the occasional death threat or crazy person. Or maybe because of.

Hmm. Almost left myself some time to actually go back over those predictions. Lemme get going on those. But first…don’t forget, I’m still taking your predictions for 2012!

  • Bret writes

    All government will be replaced by Thunderdome.

    I suspect some of us would have preferred this.

    Superman will decide to walk around the world after walking across America. He will spend the majority of his time mocking the less fortunate and spitting in their faces.

    With that collar and armor he kinda looks like he’d be the kind of super “hero” who’d do this. But nah. Not yet.

    There will be a public apology for the commercial failure of Scott Pilgrim vs the World. Whether it will be the public writing a letter to Edgar Wright, or Edgar Wright and Micheal Cera releasing one of those hostage videos at gunpoint apologizing to Universal for under-performing is unclear at this time.

    I think I’ve mentioned before that I actually liked the Scott Pilgrim movie, even though the comic doesn’t really do anything for me. And I was a bit surprised that it failed that badly, given that you’d think a movie featuring Michael Cera repeatedly getting hit would be more popular. There were some comments from the head of Universal that were…okay, not an apology, but at least an acknowledgement that the film should have done better.

    Also, the new Dr. Who will be good.

    I thought it was pretty good. Your Who Mileage Will Vary, of course.

    But really, most people will only notice the Thunderdome thing.

    Can’t people just get beyond Thunderdome?

  • Al Ewing is perhaps less than serious when he writes

    Quick predictions – Steel is NOT going to die, but John Stewart is. There’ll be a funeral issue where the other Green Lanterns agree that he was the most soldierly, like a true soldier, and his past as an architect – wimp of the professions – will be erased once and for all. Probably he’ll be back as a Red Lantern within the year, blowing away some dudes with a sniper rifle.

    I’m surprised this didn’t happen. Give it another year.

    Some comics will be sold for $4.99, but only if they have really amazing pinups at the back.

    We did get some $4.99 annuals, regardless of pin-ups. Did the Hellblazer annual have pin-ups? Man, I’d rather have another page or two of comics than more pin-ups.

    Vertigo will die off. Archie Comics will do a series where Archie goes to Heaven and also Hell, in a format similar to the Betty/Veronica marriage. Reggie will be revealed as a Satan.

    Vertigo’s still hanging in there, and while Archie didn’t do this story, I can’t think of any reason in the world why they shouldn’t.

    A Drunken Bakers movie will be announced, directed by Lars Von Trier and starring Ken Stott and Paddy Considine.

    I wasn’t familiar with the Drunken Bakers…until I looked it up and now I want this movie.

    They’ll reprint all Hugga Bunch comics in a big absolute edition hardback costing $299.99 including free hug.

    If someone gave me three c-notes for a Hugga Bunch collection, I’d definitely hug them.

  • Demoncat had a lot to say, so let me break it up a bit

    Marvel will have Mickey and co visit their universe.

    Not yet…but I expect some kind of crossover at some point. I mean, don’t you?

    Marvel will give the x-men a break with cross overs. right after they have jean grey come back from the dead as dark phoenix one more time and wreck havoc.

    No break for the X-men yet. And Phoenix is still dead…but not for long, I’m sure. I mean, that’s pretty much her deal, yeah?

    marvel will finaly bring scarlet witch back in the avengers fold sane.

    Leading back towards that, probably, if I’m understanding that Wikipedia entry about her involvement in Avengers: Children’s Crusade properly, but perhaps someone more versed in this material can let us know.

    dc not only will kick marvels butt sales wise digitaly but will have Oracle back walking around . the death of barbara a fake out to restore her walking.

    I’m not sure how the two are connected, but…as I understand it, the publishers are still being cagey about exact numbers, unless something got out there that I didn’t see, so any butt-kicking is as yet unresolved. …Barbara Gordon is up and walking again, thanks more to New 52 Reboot than any faked-death plot. (Though we haven’t seen the explanation of her cure yet.)

    dc will also have swamp thing return in his own title and Mattel will give him his own dc classic wave. wave 25

    Yes on the new title, no on the wave of figures…but we got a new deluxe figure that as far as I was concerned was its own wave.

  • Decker decks us with

    Joaquin Phoenix will be hired to write a high-profile book, while ten genre-breaking, critically-acclaimed books will be canceled.

    I get the point here, but I don’t think any Big Name Celebrity Comic came out and received an inordinate amount of attention to the detriment of better books. It sort of feels like that time has kind of passed for now.

    Ryan Reynold’s Green Lantern media blitz will receive a second wind in time for dvd sales when John Boehner is caught in a Sassy Larfleeze costume during a fundraiser.

    Please tell me this didn’t happen and I missed it.

    Somebody will create something moving that sends me back to the comic shop looking for another fix.

    Well, only you can tell me if this happened, Decker. Let us know!

  • I can’t help but sense a bit of irritation from Subzero when he predicts

    Marvel will continue f – word – ing up Spider – Man by telling the story that was SUPPOSED to be told in BRAND NEW DAY. And, yes, this will make things even more confusing and contradict all stories before it. Deal with it. Additionally Marvel will go from one big mega – crossover to two every year. And the price for singel issues will go up to 4.99 now including 20 extra pages from the New York City phonebook – collect them all.

    None of that happened…though in the case of the $4.99 Marvel book, I will add “yet.”

    DC will kill of another big character then bring him back – before the end of the storyarc – only to kill him a second time. Now for real…yeah, right. At least they don´t f – word up the GREEN LANTERN movie. At least the original Batsymbol will stay awhile.

    I think Flashpoint sort of pushed back any big “DEATH OF [DC HERO NAME HERE] stories for now. As for the Green Lantern movie…er, sorry, friend. And I’m pretty sure the Batsymbol won’t be going anywhere for the foreseeable future!

    Savage Dragon will still be one of the best superhero comics and still be ignored by most comic readers. Who will keep buying the big two megacrossovers instead – while bitching about it. Same thing with Invincible and other good independent books.

    …Pretty much a “hit” here. Savage Dragon is kind of an overlooked gem now, isn’t it? Erik Larson just keeps doin’ his thing, and it just keeps getting weirder and more amazing.

    All the people who claimed none of the CrossGen books were any good after the company went bankrupt will be bitching that they aren´t as good now that Marvel does them. They will still buy them.

    In my experience here at the shop, folks seemed to like the new CrossGen just fine. I didn’t pay attention to how the general worldwide reaction was.

  • Bully the Little Stuffed Psychic Bull predicts

    A comic book starring a water-skiing, flame-thrower wielding cat will becomes a surprise cult hit.

    This only happened in a world I’m not fortunate enough to live in.

    At least one comic book will be published on lunch meat. At least one.

    “I thought I had a comic here to read while I enjoyed my honey ham sandwich, and now I can’t find it!” …COMIC MEAT TRAGEDY.

    One major DC or Marvel superhero character will be changed into a woman. Not replaced by a female version. Changed into a woman.

    …Not in any comic I read. Did this happen anywhere that I know about? I mean, aside from the more “adult-interest” titles?

    The Captain America or Thor movie will provide an easter egg which suggests a Marvel heroic character not even hinted at previously in movies or casting news will be in “The Avengers.” And that character will be Rocket Raccoon.

    There was an Easter egg in Captain America with the original robotic Human Torch…could it be…? …Nah.

  • Mikey Wayne relates

    In the next big cosmic event for DC, the Spectre will be taken down first.

    I don’t think the Spectre was in Flashpoint, but then I only read the issue that had Swamp Thing in it. Spectre’s been pretty much a no-show for a while…maybe he’ll pop up in that new Earth 2 book.

  • Michael Grabowski grabs at

    I predict that Marvel will publish an entire Spider-Man comic story in a digital format only. No print version of that story will be announced or made available, at least not in 2011.

    Given my track record regarding my knowledge about digital comics, I hesitate to answer…but I’m pretty sure I would have at least heard of this had it happened. And if it hasn’t happened yet…I’m sure it will soon.

  • Adam Horovitz calls upon all his mystical energy to foretell

    Personally, I’m holding out for the return of ‘Mazing Man in a new Seinfeld/Swamp Thing crossover comic…

    It wasn’t in a Seinfeld/Swamp Thing crossover, but sure enough…frighteningly enough…’Mazing Man came back. That’s enough for me to point at Adam and call out in terrified tones “Sorcerer! Sorcerer!”

And that’s about that for now. I’ll wrap this up on Sunday, hopefully. Yeah, I know, it’s a three-parter. Sorry, gang!

11 Responses to “Part Two of my look back at your 2011 predictions; plus, I totally steal a joke from Mystery Science Theater 3000, and I apparently don’t know what “truncated” means.”

  • ExistentialMan says:

    Mike, sorry to hear about the break-in. I predict (and hope) it won’t happen again in 2012.

    It strikes me, however, that the profile of a person who would break into a comic store to steal an old laptop EXACTLY matches that of a Progressive Ruin aficionado.

    I was in Columbus, Ohio for the past 48 hours, in case you were wondering.

  • Paul Stock says:

    Hey Mike, my sympathies over your break-in problem. Being a store owner who’s dealt with it myself, I know exactly what a drag that is.
    A suggestion:
    Consider having your door glass replaced with tempered glass (much stronger than regular plate), or even Lexan. Over time, Lexan (a super-tough plexiglass) can get scratched up, but depending how thick it is, that stuff isn’t just bulletproof, it’ll even withstand a sledgehammer!
    A note of caution, though: Some fire departments are leery of Lexan: If a fireman has to get into a place, he uses his axe: He doesn’t want to come up against something that will bounce the axe back in his face. Apparently they do have ways of dealing with it, they just have to know it’s there, so they can come prepared.

  • Is Lexan a Lexcorp product? Sorry to hear about that, Mike. Sounds like a pain. I hope you can get everything fixed quick and forget about the whole thing.

  • word_virus says:

    Oh, wow, someone needs to publish the collected Drunken Bakers. This is amazing.

  • Mike Nielsen says:

    ‘Mazing Man in Batman Brave and the Bold was great.

    I miss that show already. The best use of Aquaman ever.

  • Roger Green says:

    When I was working at FantaCo, after the owner moved from upstairs from the store to the ‘burbs, I was the worker who lived the closest to the store. So I was the guy who got, at least a half dozen times in 5 years, the call from Sonitrol and/or the police. Only once was it a legit, albeit failed, attempt.

  • philip says:

    Sorry to hear about your front door and the computer and the whole mess. Glad it wasn’t major but, still, what a pain.

    And thank you for the Ric Olie reference. It made my morning. (I’m easy.)

  • Rob S. says:

    Ugh. Sorry to hear about the break-in, man.

    Fun fact: Roy Thomas taught me the word “truncated,” when he used it to describe Dr. Fate’s new helmet in an issue of All-Star Squadron!

  • Andres says:

    Leave some pogs and #1 issues near the door when locking up for the night.

  • Adam Horovitz says:

    Sadly I am not enough of a sorcerer to keep O.M.A.C. on the shelves. That would have more than made up for the actual, terrible, terrifying return of ‘Mazing Man. Eek.