Just a couple of items I want to note, as I’ve been under the weather and don’t really have a real post in me at the moment. I think I’m allergic to Batman and Robin.
Speaking of Batman and Robin, I do plan on writing some extended responses to your comments from yesterday’s post. A lot of you had some interesting things to say, and I’m looking forward to discussing this in further detail when I’m a little more up to it. (And that sound you hear is thousands of blog readers crying out “NOOOO! NO MORE BATMAN AND ROBIN!”)
Another brief commercial announcement: I’m finally listing more things on the eBay, so if you see anything there you’d like, feel free to help a pal out.
Found out from Mr. Spurgeon that the Opus comic strip is ending after a five year run. That’s too bad…I did love Bloom County and Outland, and while Opus was a bit too much “can’t go home again,” I had enough affection for the character to enjoy seeing him back in the funny papers.
You know what’s weird? Coming across an explicit reference to the Vietnam War in the latest Complete Peanuts reprint volume from Fantagraphics (1969-1970), in a daily I’m almost certain I’ve never seen before. Specifically, the strip involved Snoopy giving a (televised!) speech at the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm (yeah, I know, just go with it), when a riot breaks out over protesters upset about…well, let’s let Linus tell you, from the July 10th, 1970 strip:
“According to the paper, the riot was about war dogs…apparently there’s been some trouble about dogs being sent to Vietnam, and then not getting back…”
WOW. That’s pretty heavy, even for a strip that doesn’t tend to shy away from the darker aspects of life.
A couple of other things about that latest Peanuts volume: first, there’s another strip I don’t think I’ve seen before, involving an “Age of Aquarius” joke. Topical “popular culture” humor isn’t necessarily uncommon in Peanuts, but it always seems a little jarring to me, somehow.
Also, on the back cover, some of the book’s contents are described, including:
“…The revelation that Snoopy’s little bird companion is named…Woodstock!”
DUDE, HOW ‘BOUT A “SPOILER ALERT,” PLEASE!
(Yes, I’m kidding. And talk about “topical popular culture humor,” with a character named Woodstock!)
So I’ve mentioned once or twice on this site that of the four Bat-films from the Tim Burton-launched franchise of the late ’80s/early ’90s, the only one I never got around to seeing was the fourth and final installment, Batman and Robin. The trailer alone was enough to warn me off, so garish and shrill and annoying…and in the years since, I’ve heard enough about the performances from the leads, mostly in the context of “OH GOD MY EYES,” that I’ve never really wanted to go out of my way to correct this cinematic omission.
Well, a few months ago I got the idea in my head that, hey, maybe watching the film would be a good way to create some content for my site. Then I thought, “wouldn’t it be a good gag if, after The Dark Knight opens, I do one of my movie reviews, but on Batman and Robin? That’d be great!”
That never happened, unfortunately, but I still kept meaning to rent the movie from Netflix and cover it on the site…and when I mentioned this at the shop, New Employee Tim piped up with “hey, I’ve got that movie on DVD! Want to borrow it?” And lo, I did say “yes,” as renting it from Netflix would only result in messages for me on their site like “based on your interest in Batman and Robin you may also enjoy: A Syringe Being Jabbed Directly into Your Eyeball.”
And yes, I watched it. (That’s the reason for this Twitter post of mine, by the way). I planned on live blogging the “event,” but instead I just took notes and transcribed them below. There was a lot of pausing and rewinding going on, so ultimately I spent far more than the film’s running time watching it, for which I deserve some kind of reward, or at least PayPal donations.
A few words about the notes: oddly, I didn’t have much to say about Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. She didn’t have much of an impact on me one way or the other, I guess. Also, some notes are in the form of “Oh, [ACTOR’S NAME], no” which is apparently in reaction to whatever performance they’re giving, but I didn’t leave myself much context for why I said that, and I ain’t going back to look. Maybe you’d like to rewatch the film yourself along with a printout of my post here. (NOTE TO MY READERS: Don’t do this.)
I haven’t read any reviews of the film (at least, not lately), and I haven’t even listened to the Rifftrax commentary (since this is my first time through the film, after all), so if I duplicate any observations, it’s inadvertent and I apologize. But really, there are only so many ways one can react to getting a full-screen close-up of Batman’s rubber-clad butt.
And I should also note that the time codes may not be exact…these are the times I pulled off my DVD player, but I noticed when I had the DVD in the computer drive, the times were off by a few seconds. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this that will eventually appear in my comments section.
Anyway, here we go…I’ll have a brief wrap-up at the end with some final comments:
00:00:15 – Okay, I like the Warner Brothers logo turning into a frozen Batman emblem. So far, so good.
00:00:46 – I don’t want to hear the opening credits make “woooooshing” sounds as they fly onto the screen (and did Alicia Silverstone’s credit get a motorcycle sound?). I had enough of that in the first Superman movie.
00:01:06 – Am I supposed to be reading anything sexual into the Batman and Robin emblems flying around on screen and ultimately mounting each other?
00:01:18 – Ah, the famous Bat-butt close-up. This scene’s reputation precedes itself.
00:01:23 – That’s a nasty crunching sound Batman’s cowl made as it was being donned. I hope Bruce didn’t do any permanent damage to his neck.
00:01:43 – I’ll give the movie this…that’s one sweet looking Batmobile.
00:02:23 – “This is why Superman works alone.” Throwing a bone to the nerds, are we?
00:02:58 – So they keep Robin’s motorcycle in a big case that emerges up from the ground and splits open, revealing big glowing Robin logos inside. That smacks of a bit of overkill, really.
00:03:16 – Oh, so they’re gonna go with the “Sick Alfred” subplot, are they? “Okay, now pretend to feel sick.” “Sure, let me just picture the script in my mind….”
00:03:58 – “Directed by Joel Schumacher” – well, at least they’re warning you up front.
00:04:16 – I do like the Mr. Freeze make-up. Shame about who it’s applied to.
00:04:21 – “The Iceman cometh!” What did Eugene O’Neill do to deserve this?
00:05:20 – My, that was an entirely unconvincing Batman-jump.
00:05:32 – “You’re not taking me to the cooler!” Oh, Arnie, no.
00:05:48 – I’m really not getting the physics at work in this fight scene.
00:06:26 – “It’s the hockey team from hell!” I believe the “[something] from hell!” cliche was well over and done with by this point.
00:06:58 – Ah, another scene I knew by reputation: the “Bat ice-skates.”
00:07:47 – Thank God, someone finally picked up the diamond instead of knocking around like a hockey puck like they have for the last hour.
00:08:47 – You know, considering this franchise was doing its level best to get away from the ’60s Batman TV show, they’re sure trying to emulate it.
00:10:05 – So Arnie is piloting his phallic rocket while moaning “oh, yes.” Still less homoerotic than Pumping Iron.
00:11:00 – That may have been the least convincing Batman voice ever.
00:11:13 – Yeah, okay, I call “no way” on Mr. Freeze being able to fly away from the rocket, wings or no wings.
00:11:15 – Are you telling me that big, tough, leaping-across-rooms-in-defiance-of-all-physics Batman would break those two spindly bits of ice across his wrists without help?
00:12:06 – So now Batman and Robin plummet to their deaths because clearly those little skateboard-thingies aren’t enough to allow them to glide through the air. Right?
00:12:42 – Please tell me I didn’t hear Robin shout “cowabunga.”
00:13:08 – At this point of the film, physics just completely gave up and left the room crying.
00:14:33 – Okay…Arnie waving “bye bye” at Batman through the frozen pane of ice was kinda cute.
00:15:30 – Oh, and here’s Uma Thurman as Ivy. Surely she’ll save the film.
00:15:49 – And the Swamp Thing fan in me perks up as we get John Glover as Dr. Jason Woodrue. Huzzah!
00:16:50 – Oh, John Glover, no.
00:17:14 – “Super Soldier Serum?” They’re, like, tying into Marvel’s current movie plans eleven years ahead.
00:19:04 – So while Bane was asleep, his dormmates totally drew veins all over his arms with magic markers. What a bunch of jerks.
00:19:14 – Man, Uma can’t even chew scenery properly. If you’re gonna deliver the phrase “maniacal scheme for world domination,” do it right.
00:20:06 – I had a teacher in grade school whose husband wore glasses like Glover’s here.
00:20:12 – “I’m afraid you’ll have to die!” – John Glover gets the best line read in the film thus far.
00:20:26 – Oh, good, she’s dead. Well, one less bad performance in this film.
00:21:20 – I think so far Michael Gough as Alfred has managed to keep some level of dignity for himself.
00:22:05 – More “Sick Alfred” subplot. Not sure why I’m noting this.
00:23:50 – A brief flashback with young Bruce and less-old Alfred. Oddly and effectively emotional in this giant punch-in-the-face of a movie.
00:24:51 – So dying ‘n’ coming back makes Ivy’s performance even worse.
00:25:10 – Oh, John, stop doing that with your lips.
00:26:09 – Just sort of dawned on me at this very moment how very different the performances are in this film versus The Dark Knight. Not sure why it stuck me right now.
00:26:39 – To borrow a lesson from Mystery Science Theatre 3000: never put a good movie in the middle of your bad movie. A Year Without Santa Claus is just reminding your viewers what a film made with some level of competence is like.
00:27:42 – A henchmen named “Frosty.” Man, you should have just put ’em in shirts with their names on them at this point.
00:28:52 – You know, a children’s cartoon handled the tragedy of Mr. Freeze’s wife with a lot more emotional effectiveness.
[At this point Alicia Silverstone is introduced as Alfred’s niece. I didn’t note a specific time, or really have anything to say about it, but thought I should mention it anyway.]
00:34:26 – Having Bane as a chauffeur isn’t conspicuous at all.
00:35:04 – So is that reporter directly from the 1950s?
00:35:44 – There’s a base level of irony in that Clooney’s delivery of awkward stuttering is in itself incredibly awkward.
00:39:13 – “I hate when people talk during the movie.” This is as metatextual as this movie gets, folks.
00:40:14 – I was hoping there’d be a tacky jungle dance party in this film, and I wasn’t disappointed.
00:40:34 – Oh, the Leather Daddies are on stage to perform! Oh, wait, it’s Batman and Robin.
00:40:54 – At least Pat Hingle is displaying the proper amount of shame.
00:42:00 – The only thing on my TV right now is someone in a purple gorilla costume slowly dancing. I think I’m going insane.
00:42:39 – Wow, Ivy’s pollen sure moves fast!
00:42:50 – Oh, man, the party’s become a really slow rave.
00:43:27 – Being on Ivy’s magical pollen has improved everyone’s choreography.
00:44:25 – No, Uma, please make more unsubtle glances down at Robin’s Boy Wonder.
00:45:25 – I actually had to replay this scene to make sure I really did hear a “ka-ching” cash register sound when Batman whipped out his Bat-credit card. Oh, movie.
00:45:28 – Oh, Uma, don’t do that. The sexy talkin’ and walkin’ ain’t workin’.
00:45:36 – Oh thank God it’s Mr. Freeze.
00:46:02 – Batman totally didn’t contact that thug’s head with his foot, and the thug went down anyway. FIX!
00:46:26 – I’m sorry, was that a cartoon “slip” sound?
00:46:42 – So grabbing a vine can make Mr. Freeze fly. Why’d they even bother erasing the wires in post-production?
00:47:45 – “Cool party.” Man, Mr. Freeze is a dick.
00:49:26 – Gotham sure is full of entirely impractical architecture.
00:50:47 – Did we miss a fight scene? Batman flings himself at Mr. Freeze’s car, and then Mr. Freeze is defeated?
00:52:52 – Ah, Alfred brings some calm to the proceeding. Let us focus on Alfred and forget the previous unpleasantness. OMMMMMM
00:55:03 – “Drag him into the cold beam!” How many times have I heard that?
00:56:30 – Putting a hat and overcoat on Bane feels like a somewhat inadequate disguise.
00:56:55 – Ivy and Bane are gonna fight a gang of Dayglo Skeleton people. Sure, at this point, why not?
00:57:44 – So, more cartoon fight noises.
00:59:30 – I see Bruce Wayne has since bought a much smaller dinner table than the one he had in the first film.
01:01:57 – Man, there are some weird ass gangs in Gotham. Did I see some Droogs?
01:03:56 – I’m having a really hard time caring about this motorcycle race in the middle of my Batman movie.
01:07:17 – Alfred, much like this film franchise, is dying.
01:07:46 – Whoops, careful Bruce, you almost exhibited an emotion.
01:08:42 – So Ivy goes to Arkham Asylum to visit a super-villain while dressed like that, and they just let her in? She didn’t make anyone suspicious?
01:09:25 – Here’s a set right out of the ’60s TV show, with a big ol’ out-of-place sign informing you that you are indeed in the Criminal Property Locker. Nice callback to the previous film with the Riddler and Two-Face costumes just, you know, sittin’ out there.
01:09:50 – “My most unabominable snowman.” Sorry, I refuse to accept that line of dialogue.
01:10:37 – Even Arnie wasn’t sold on that “laundry service that delivers” joke.
01:10:50 – Okay, the “always go a size smaller – makes me look slimmer” joke was pretty good.
01:10:58 – Ivy: “I’ll help you grab your rocks.” Not at all a double-entendre.
01:12:00 – And they jump to their deaths. Well, that’s one way to kill off your film’s bad guys…oh, what, they’re NOT dead?
01:13:57 – I can’t stop looking at Batman and Robin’s costume nipples. They’re hypnotic.
01:14:10 – Batman and Robin talking about Ivy’s “stems and buds.” Please stop.
01:15:33 – So an unobstructed switch by the exit controls the release of dangerous fumes? Seems like bad planning.
01:16:54 – Ivy refers to their “anatomically correct rubber suit[s],” so even people in the actual story are wondering what’s up with the Bat-nipples.
01:22:17 – And Ivy brings out Audrey III.
01:27:29 – Oh, Pat Hingle, no.
01:27:58 – So what where these henchmen doing why Mr. Freeze was in Arkham? Just hanging around the Freeze Fort?
01:30:40 – Michael Gough being able to pull off a good performance with this material…that’s like a superpower in and of itself.
01:31:46 – Least practical computer blueprints ever, with things just kinda floating across them on the computer screen…that’s not distracting at all.
01:32:50 – Hey, Bruce, why not emphasize the name “Dick” a little more?
01:34:20 – Bane just kinda happily saying “BOMB” as he puts each bomb down made me laugh.
01:35:42 – It’s a computer-generated Alfred Headroom, even down to the stutter.
01:36:15 – Alfred made a tight-fitting rubber fetish costume for his niece? That’s a little peculiar.
01:39:55 – Batman’s gotta put a little Bat-emblem on everything…even that little vine-cutter thingie.
01:40:38 – Ivy shouting in movie-serial style “CURSES!” The film almost approaches self-awareness!
01:41:10 – Upon realizing that Alfred’s niece/Batgirl knows their secrets:
Robin: “Guess we’ll have to kill her.”
Batman: “Yup…we’ll kill her later.”
I must be grasping for entertainment, as that exchange amused me.
01:47:15 – I suppose I should be writing down something about Batman fighting Mr. Freeze. It’s two guys in silly costumes punching each other. There you go.
01:48:44 – “The heat is on!” – Nice counter to Mr. Freeze’s constant icy one-liners.
01:52:30 – So using the heat beams to defrost Gotham City is causing a sound that resembles sizzling bacon. “All the inhabitants of Gotham City fried to death today….”
01:53:28 – Just noticed Batman and Robin have color-coordinated costumes to match the ice and snow. Those are some snappily-dressed superheroes.
01:55:05 – This is like the most effective Clooney-as-Batman performance in the film…just calmly and firmly talking to Freeze and convincing him to give up the experimental medicine that will, coincidentally, help Alfred.
..But then Arnie blows it with the “take two of these and call me in the morning” line read. AAARGH.
01:56:38 – Hey, I thought Ivy was eaten by her own giant plant. What a gyp.
01:56:56 – So Arnie’s back in Arkham for, like, five minutes, and already he’s back in his supersuit and threatening a female inmate. Someone really needs to step in and shut Arkham down.
01:59:15 – “We’re going to need a bigger cave!” Yeah, don’t get ahead of yourself there, Alfred.
01:59:25 – And there our three heroes run off triumphantly into no future sequels.
01:59:33 – Ah, the roster of shame…er, I mean, “the credits.”
02:04:36 – And one last look at the film’s logo, so you can remember the title and warn your friends.
And that’s that. So, ultimately, what’d I think of it?
Well, it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.
Don’t get me wrong…it’s not a good movie. It’s trying to be an upscale version of the ’60s Batman TV show, but without the wit and charm. It’s just big, loud and stupid, with embarrassing performances and unconvincing action that push you right out of the story. In discussing the film with Pal Dorian, he mentioned that the movie was essentially a live-action cartoon, and he’s right…but where this year’s Speed Racer movie succeeded in creating a cartoon world you could accept for a full-length film, the basic ineptness of Batman and Robin kept you from simply accepting the world it presented. It had its moments…a couple of quiet emotional scenes, some beautiful sets and effects…but all in support of, essentially, nothing.
In a way, it seems like this film has what I’d want from a superhero movie…colorful characters, over-the-top action, crazy stunts, and goofy fun. And taken on a very basic level, this film does provide some slight measure of entertainment. But it just didn’t seem very smart about how it went about it. I can sort of see where they were going with this, with what they were attempting…enough so that I don’t want to simply dismiss this movie with “it sucks and I hate it.” (I prefer to reserve that sort of judgment for soulless abominations like Eragon.)
Anyway, if you read all that, you deserve a cookie. Or at least a say in my comments section, so let me know what you think of this poor, unloved film.
If you didn’t read all that, here’s the short version:
This is some camera, catching the actual explosive force of Robin’s fist contacting this thug’s face…unless the the thug’s face actually did explode, in which case never mind. Not sure how to explain the movement lines showing up in the photo, though. A long strand of toilet paper stuck to the back of Robin’s fist, maybe?
Also noted: Robin’s swanky logo from this same story:
Neat!
images from Batman Family #19 (Aug/Sept 1978) by Bob Rozakis, Juan Ortiz & Bruce Patterson
When a 1970s Marvel comic would incorporate a text page into a story, like so:
I mean, as long as they didn’t do it too often. Though this issue of Howard the Duck was pretty much nothin’ but, and that was pretty good.
Hmmm. Steve Gerber wrote both the Howard the Duck and the issue of Giant Size Defenders that page up there came from. And he did this in a Man-Thing or two as well. Mr. Gerber did love his prose comic pages.
Another thing I liked about this issue of Giant Size Defenders was this brief exchange. Nighthawk and Daredevil had met as adversaries before, causing DD to be a bit distrustful of this fellow, but it doesn’t take a whole lot of convincing to get DD to throw in with him:
Of course, Daredevil may have been using his super-hearing to monitor Nighthawk’s heartbeat like a human lie-detector…but I prefer to think that DD, like most Marvel heroes, is just easily convinced (as discussed before – third entry in the post).
By the way, my old pal Cully talked me into buying this Giant Size Defenders, like, fifteen years ago. “Hey, you ever read this comic?” he asked. “Why, no,” sez I. “Oh, man, it rules,” countered Cully, and swayed by his persuasive argument, it’s now in my collection all these years later. And he was right…the Defenders fighting the Grandmaster, an old Dr. Strange reprint, a kick-ass Golden Age Sub-Mariner story…well worth the $2 or so I spent on it.
images from Giant Size Defenders #3 (1975) by Steve Gerber, Jim Starlin, Len Wein, Dan Adkins, Don Newton, Jim Mooney, and a partridge in a pear tree
More comics badassery – Ka-Zar’s pal Zabu beats the tar out of a bunch of AIM agents:
HOLY CRAP. The blood-red (well, more or less) backgrounds certainly add to the holy-crapness.
Okay, that wasn’t the reason I pulled out this particular comic (Astonishing Tales #13 from 1972)…what I wanted to say was that the comic contains a very early appearance of Man-Thing, where some of Man-Thing’s attributes are a bit different from the currently accepted version of the character.
Man-Thing is, as the character is used now, mindless and voiceless, a shambling heap of plantlife and muck with no semblance to humanity. So, this panel is pretty much impossible today, given the character’s established interpretation:
There are plenty of panels in this comic of Man-Thing grunting and growling and otherwise making sub-vocal noises, like above, which, as we Fans o’Manny know, more or less contradicts nearly every other appearance of the character. And, also contradictory is the idea that Man-Thing has it together enough to point other characters toward an exit, which requires more reasoning power than Man-Thing is supposed to have.
Also in the story the captions make reference to Man-Thing having a brain, and when Ka-Zar checks an apparently-dead Man-Thing for life, he hears Manny’s beating heart. Needless to say, the Manny we know and love has neither of these things.
Now, I’m not listing all this to be a jerk (for once). I simply find this comic to be an interesting example of trying to nail down attributes for a brand new character…attributes that may have been altered or discarded over the years since. It still seems a little strange to be reading a story where Man-Thing actually growls and shows more brain-power than normal.
Speaking of Man-Thing, he gets a swell cover on this week’s new issue of Alter Ego (#81), as well as an article about the character’s creation. Apparently a lawsuit was, at least, briefly considered against DC for their Swamp Thing character. I didn’t know that. Anyway, the article contains lots of information of interest to the swamp creature enthusiast.
Also, having seen the preview copies for next week, Man-Thing puts in an appearance in a Marvel book coming this Wednesday. Which one will it be…which one? (Oh, okay, it’s Marvel Zombies 3.)
Anyway, that’s enough Man-Thing for now…here, have another helping of Zabu:
images from Astonishing Tales #13 (Aug. 1972) by Roy Thomas, John Buscema, Rich Buckler, and Dan Adkins
So, the other day I was watching an episode of the mid-1990s Fantastic Four cartoon, which adapted the 1982 Terrax/Galactus storyline from FF #s 242 through 244. Here’s the cover of the middle installment, just so this post isn’t all boring text:
Anyway, the episode takes this three-issue storyline, including the introduction of Frankie Raye and the “she’s got powers like the Human Torch” storyline from the previous year’s continuity, and manages to squeeze it all into a 20-something minute episode.
Most of the storyline’s plot points from the original comics make it into the show, with some adjustments here and there. The most noticeable change is that, instead of the guest-starring-superhero free-for-all like you see on that cover up there, the only guy that shows up in the cartoon is Thor. And taking the place of Dr. Strange is Ghost Rider, who in the cartoon puts the mystical showing-Galactus-the-souls-of-his-victims whammy on the big G that Strange did in the comic. Apparently this was Ghost Rider’s first appearance in the cartoons, judging by the reaction of the other characters. He just pops up, says “hello,” gives Galactus the ol’ magical hairy eyeball…er, eyesocket, and takes off, confusing children watching at home everywhere.
But the story plays out more or less the same in the cartoon as in the comic…Galactus’ reserves are depleted and he’s on the verge of dying, Reed Richards decides to save his life, Frankie volunteers to become the new Herald of Galactus and lead him to a new world to consume, and Galactus takes off, vowing to never trouble Earth again and notes that this is the one world where he may have friends. The end.
There’s another change I should note, concerning Frankie’s characterization. In the comic, she had a habit of using excessive force on the bad guys, giving as her reasoning, “well, they’re bad guys, right? So what?” When she decides to sacrifice herself to become a Herald, it’s pointed out that she’d likely have to lead Galactus to inhabited worlds for him to consume. Her response:
“So? A few bug-eyed monsters? What’s that compared to my being able to go…out there?”
An amoral stance for a superhero-type, to be sure, and it’s not surprising that it didn’t make it into the cartoon. In its place we get some very broad hinting that Frankie may be, if not outright falling in love with Galactus (a plot development that turns up in later FF issues), at least completely admiringly awestruck by him.
Not quite sure why I’m so fascinated by these comic-to-cartoon translations of specific storylines I enjoyed as a younger Mikester. Particularly since the end result, after having watched this episode, is the realization that as profound and significant it all seemed on the printed page, seeing essentially the same story in animated form made it all feel a bit…silly, I guess. Perhaps it’s just the nature of the bare-bones condensing of the original tale, or perhaps it’s just the recontextualizing of the story from the familiar printed format to an animated one, forcing us to reconsider the storytelling tropes freed of nostalgic memories (see also: the ’60s Batman TV show, discussed previously).
Or perhaps I’m just overthinking a cartoon whose primary purpose was to sell toys to children.
But, honestly, that Terrax/Galactus story from Fantastic Four #s 242 through 244 is really good. And maybe a little silly, but there’s nothing wrong with that.
Well, yeah, I do have a few more things to say about Hex, but only briefly. Don’t panic.
I was going to bring up some of Jonah Hex’s other time-travel/non-traditional western encounters, specifically in light of his appearance in the recent Justice League animated series, where Hex clearly is aware of the concept of time travel and is able to I.D. the Leaguers as being from the future. Well, you folks beat me to it in yesterday’s comments section, with this anonymous commentator whipping out specific cites to Jonah’s wandering about the DC Universe. ‘Course, he gives out the titles in shortened form, and if you’re able to identify them all in row without stumbling, you get a cookie. (NOTE: Get your own cookie, I’m not gonna mail you one.)
What’s interesting, I think, about the Justice League cartoon appearance is that the idea of Jonah being the Old West character that Weird Sci-Fi/Horror Shit Happens To is apparently been mainstreamed into the character’s concept. Even in the current Jonah Hex series, which while generally playing the comic as a straight western, featured supernatural elements in its Halloween issue. I think I remember reading somewhere, too, that one of the proposed concepts for the theoretical film adaptation would have incorporated the Vertigo Comics’ horror-themed Hex stories. (I didn’t Google that up, so if someone has more recent, reliable, movie information, feel free to drop it in the comments.)
So, in short, I like the well-traveled-in-time-and-space Jonah Hex. Here’s to more of that sort of thing.
An addendum to the fate of Hex’s stuffed body following the Secret Origin‘s tale related yesterday. I was looking at the Wikipedia entry, and it states that the body eventually made it into the hands of Booster Gold, who placed it into his “Planet Krypton” restaurant (and visible in the Kingdom Come collection-only epilogue, if I recall correctly). I’m now going to imagine Booster Gold wrestling Hex’s body from the hands of the elderly Tall Bird, because it’s both cruel and amusing and I’m a bad person.
By the way, this blurb was on the cover of Hex #18, the last issue of that series which I was also discussing yesterday, and while I was all ready to make fun of it:
…I am, after all, still talking about this series, 20+ years after its conclusion. It’s a classic to me.
Reader Ha-rel asked why ol’ Jonah Hex was dead, stuffed and mounted in the first place, and the really short answer, without trying to explain the entire story (as seen in DC Super Special #16, 1978), is that after he was killed in a tavern during a card game, his body was acquired by a traveling circus and put on display.
And the last page of that story followed Hex’s body from circus to antique shop to warehouse to standing in front of a wild west theme park in the early ’70s. And honestly, those last two panels, featuring Stuffed Hex just standing out there in the rain while a kid with toy guns play-shoots at him…that’s really one of the saddest, most pathetic scenes in comic book history:
We do get a sequel of sorts in Secret Origins #21 (Dec. ’87), which both R.D. and Dwayne — Dwayne who runs this swell Jonah Hex weblog and I hope doesn’t mind me encroaching on his territory a bit, here — pointed out contains a second case of Hex’s dead ‘n’ stuffed body taking a life. In this case, it’s more of a mysterious “who could have pulled the trigger…except the ghost of Jonah Hex, woooOOOOoooo!” thing instead of that dope triggering the guns himself as shown in yesterday’s post.
In any case, this story, which takes place presumably in the mid/late-’80s, ends with a character promising to retrieve the mounted body so that Jonah’s still-living common law wife, Tall Bird (last seen in that DC Super Special) can put it to rest properly.
More on that in a moment, but now it’s time for some CONTINUITY!
In the Secret Origins tale, Tall Bird relates that Jonah once briefly disappeared to another world:
…which, as that footnote indicates, is a reference to that great series Hex, with Jonah Hex trapped in an apocalyptic future:
Man oh man, do I love Hex. I’ve spoken about it before (and funny how there I’m coy about revealing endings, but now I’m all about the Hex spoilers), but one of the things I love most about this series is its last couple of pages in Hex #18 (Feb. 1987).
It’s the year…oh, I don’t know, 2048 or something, and Hex is recovering from injuries and just sorta killing time, toolin’ around a warehouse filled with antiques and amusement park materials. And what does he come across but…
…and thus, like the Secret Origins comic that follows, establishes that Hex does eventually get back to his rightful time. How he does so is something that’s never been revealed, far as I know, and I doubt it’ll ever be addressed, unless it turns up as a Booster Gold plot-point or something.
And going back to the ending of that Secret Origins story, the happy ending that the story seems to give us, with the impending recovery and return of Hex’s body to his wife, is undercut by what we’d read a few months prior in Hex. Tall Bird’s intention was to burn the body, apparently, but it obviously doesn’t happen if the body is still around for “Road Warrior” Hex to discover in that future warehouse. Don’t know if it was stolen, or if Tall Bird simply died of old age before she should have anything done, or what…regardless of the reason, the closure of the story is not quite so closed after all.
It’s a nice, dark twist, which only has its full impact if you’d been keeping up on your Hex comics, which clearly not many people were since the series was canceled after 18 issues.
But really, consider again that the Hex series ends with Jonah Hex face-to-face with his own stuffed and mounted corpse:
I am both appalled and amused and damn if I don’t love this comic.
image sources:
Hex #1 (Sept. 1985) – cover art by Mark Texeira & Klaus Janson
Hex #18 (Feb. 1987) by Michael Fleisher, Keith Giffen & Carlos Garzon
Secret Origins #21 (Dec. 1987) by Fleisher & Gray Morrow
DC Special Series #16 (1978) by Fleisher & Russ Heath
