Uncategorized

An exchange with a customer I had a on Thursday:

Me: “I’m a seething cauldron of rage.”

Customer: “You? You’re a seething cauldron of snuggles!”

Sigh. I am imposing to no one.

Also, following my aborted attempt at rapping, new employee Pope Nathan informed newer employee Nicknameless Aaron that my rhymes were far too phat to bust.

Yeah, that’s the kind of day we were having.

---

During another conversation I was having with Nathan and Aaron that day, we were discussing the bizarre, seemingly inconsiderate and insensitive behavior of Superman, Batman, and other characters in stories from the ’50s and ’60s. I noted that it’s not so much that they were supposedly inconsiderate, as, since these comics were aimed at children, all the characters (heroes, villains, supporting cast) were written as children, with childlike motivations and emotional responses. Probably an obvious point, but not one I ever articulated, or considered, until yesterday.

As Nathan noted, it’s kind of frightening to think of someone with powers like Superman with the emotional development of an eight-year-old.

---

People seemed to like my “Ten Scary Swamp Thing Moments” post (and thanks to Johanna for saying such nice things about it) and, as I’d hoped, people chimed in with their own favorite moments.

One people mentioned is the sequence from Alan Moore’s initial Arcane story, where Arcane had possessed Matt Cable, and the “just say ‘uncle'” revelation of his true identity of Matt’s wife, Arcane’s niece Abby. I was tempted to include that, but my list was Arcane-heavy as it was, and the two page splash of “Matt,” his damned-soul pals, and the color-overlay of Arcane was too big for me to easily scan. That whole issue (#29 of the second Swamp Thing series) was darned creepy, as Abby slowly puts together what’s wrong with Matt, and just who his coworkers are. One of my favorite bits of that issue is the panel of Matt and Abby sleeping together in bed, and Matt’s reflection in the mirror is that of a corpse. And I believe the whole incest thing, of Arcane being intimate with his own niece, is one of the reasons the Comics Code passed on this issue. Well, that and the big freakin’ two-page zombie splash.

Oh, “SPOILERS,” by the way.

Craig mentions the sequence where Swamp Thing discovers the paperwork explaining his true origin (that he was never Alec Holland at all, just a plant that thought it was Holland…it makes sense in context, honest) and his reaction to General Sunderland’s frightened query of “like it?” That really is a terrifying sequence, as this is the first time that we, as readers, who are sympathetic to the Swamp Thing’s plight, actually see Swamp Thing as a monster. Man, I don’t even need to open the comic to see those jagged panels, that extreme close-up of Swamp Thing’s face as he’s screaming in rage. That probably should have been on the list.

I also almost included Polite Scott‘s mention of the Monkey King, a creature from Jack Kirby’s Demon series that makes a return appearance in Alan Moore’s ST run. The sequence of the different fears that it forms, mentioned by Scott, are indeed scary, but I remember getting bit of a chill when we first see the Monkey King in its normal form: just a small, white monkey, looking up at you. Don’t know why it bothered me like that, but it did.

There’s another bit that I probably should have mentioned, since it’s one of the first things I think of when I ponder that period of Swamp Thing…those latter Marty Pasko issues, just before Moore took over, with Steve Bissette and John Totleben on art. Those insanely horrifying monsters that are randomly attacking Swamp Thing and his pals, that we later find out are creations of Matt Cable’s mind…I’d not seen bizarre monsters like that in comics before, and they really stuck themselves in my brain. (And, on a related topic…when we see Cable in that same issue, whom we haven’t seen since the original ’70s series, drunken, unshaven, slurring his words. Very upsetting.)

Anyway, thanks for your contributions, folks…it makes me want to pull the comics out of the vast Mikester Comic Archives and read them again, for like the two-dozenth time. And if you haven’t read them yourselves…do yourself a favor and check them out! Yes, even you, Kitty!

This was my first new comics day in quite a while without pal Dorian helping out, which means I was a little more swamped than usual. The new guys (Pope Nathan, and Nicknameless Aaron) are working out fine, but they don’t know the ins-‘n’-outs of new funnybook day yet, so on top of the duties I had, I also had to cover some of the responsibilities Dor used to have as well. One of those things Dor did was rearrange the new comics racks to accommodate the new arrivals…that’s something I used to do before Dor worked here, but apparently I’m a bit out of practice. It didn’t seem like it was this difficult before!

---

Holy crud, I had too many books come in that I wanted to buy:

1. Simpsons Comic Book Guy’s Book of Pop Culture – As a funnybook seller, I have a special affinity for the Comic Book Guy character. I would say “there but for the grace of God go I,” but I’m not out of the woods yet. This book, including articles on running a comic book store, and a day in the life of Comic Book Guy, would appear to make big chunks of my site here redundant. At the very least, I need to put off reading it at least until I finish my next article for Comic Book Galaxy (which shares initials with Comic Book Guy…coincidence?).

2. Showcase Presents Jonah Hex – Ah, finally. I’ve been pushing for a reprint of Jonah Hex comics for a while now (under Jan. 11), so I’m glad we finally got ’em. It looks great in black and white, as I thought it would. On a related note, we can’t keep the Metamorpho and Superman Showcase books in stock. Green Lantern just kind of sits there, though…which is a shame, since the Gil Kane art looks great in B&W.

3. Complete Peanuts Vol. 4 – I don’t know what to say about this book that I haven’t said already. It looks spectacular, it’s a classic strip at the peak of its form…if you don’t love this comic, you’re dead to me, dead, I say.

4. Invincible Vol. 5: Facts of Life – Just plain ol’ superhero fun. It’s the extra sketchbook pages that keep me buying this series as trades instead of single issues…and the comic is more satisfying in larger chunks, anyway.

---

Other new comics day notes:

The first customer of the day asked me why Powers #14 had a $3.95 cover price, since it didn’t seem any thicker than normal. I had no idea, and wasn’t expecting a price increase…and it was invoiced at $2.95. I called Diamond to confirm (just to make sure we wouldn’t get a note next week saying “hey, you know those Powers comics you were selling at $2.95? They actually were supposed to be $3.95, so we’re charging you the extra amount this week. Hope you didn’t sell too many at the wrong price!”), and yes, it was a typo on the cover. I wonder how many copies were sold nationwide at the $3.95 price?

Another surprise was getting a second helping of Seven Soldiers: Klarion #4, which we already received previously. According to our distributor rep, these are replacement copies for the previous issues which were misprinted. A side-by-side comparison shows no obvious printing errors, beyond the colors in the newer books being slightly richer. Was it just the coloring? The rep didn’t know, and I didn’t catch anything on the comics news sites about it (not that I look at them much, anyway). Any of you folks know?

And hey, while that Marvel Team-Up #14, teaming corporate movie/toy tie-in Spider-Man with the creator-owned Invincible was kinda neat, I don’t imagine Invincible’s creators are going to be too happy with the fact that the copyright information says nothing about Invincible not being a Marvel character. Maybe there’s a gentleman’s agreement behind the scenes regarding this, but the indicia does clearly state “all characters featured in this issue and the distinctive names and likenesses thereof…are trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc.” Maybe we can look forward to “Stan Lee Presents Invincible #1″ soon. Or maybe they’ll just rename Gravity. (Oh, relax…that was just a joke there, Sparky.)

Seven Soldiers: Bulleteer #1 – People complain about apparent sexism in comic. Fans of comic defend against allegations, stating writer knows what he is doing regarding point he’s making. Original complainers state that fans of writer are groupthinkers, blindly defending everything he writes. Fans of writer call complainers chowderheads. And so on.

Liberality for All #1 – I don’t know what to say about this comic that this synopsis doesn’t already cover. It’s almost like poetry. (Hey, Dad, if you’re reading this…click that link. You’d probably get a kick out of it.)

House of M #8 – So was that an intentional slam against DC’s Identity/Infinite Crisis in there, or am I reading too much into it? (The bit about magic not being able to remove a memory.)

Donald Duck & Uncle Scrooge: Somewhere in Nowhere – There’s a piece of personal correspondence in here from Carl Barks, shortly before his passing, and it’s just sad to read. He still seemed mostly on the ball, with some thoughts about the internet’s impact on comics, but his note that he wasn’t interested in studying another cartoonist’s work because he doesn’t draw anymore…well, that depressed me. I realize that at nearly a century old, he probably had his fill of drawing, but still, sad. He didn’t care for Pokemon, either, apparently.

I’ve written a lot on this site over the last week or two, and hopefully one or two of you have read what I cranked out here…but today, just some linkage, to give myself (and you!) a break:

So a lot of you saw this Monet Does Swamp Thing Photoshop contest entry at Worth1000, and immediately thought of me, judging by the number of e-mails I received telling me about it.

But you know what the sad part is? Before I received a single e-mail about it, my Swamp Thing-sense had already taken me right to that page. I had even downloaded the image for use as a desktop picture (or “wallpaper,” to you Windows-ites).

That doesn’t mean “stop sending the Swampy links,” by any means. You see anything Swamp Thing-related that perhaps I may not have seen, pass the link along, by all means!

---

I’ve been meaning to point you folks in his direction for a while, but Scott Saavedra posted several pencil sketches over a five-day period (which you can see here, here, here, here, and here). Good stuff…go check it out.

---

“The monsters look nasty, but artist Bernie Wrightson says they are fun to draw”

Interesting news bit from that interview: Wrightson is working on a revival of the ’90s cartoon Biker Mice from Mars, and is redesigning the main characters.

---

“One mess begat another: confusion reigns supreme in the latest DC Comics debacle”

“I couldn’t resist buying Infinite Crisis, DC’s new piece of crap. I read it with mixed feelings […] Throughout most of the story I was lost, but it ends in such an unexpectedly memorable way that it suggests that DC may be ready to pull its head out of its ass.”

So yes, it’s true, pal Dorian has left the building. He’s no longer selling funnybooks for a living (though I think I’ve managed to cajole him into being our “manga consultant,” since I barely know my shojo from my josei), and we’re going to miss him around here. He was a good worker, and more importantly, he was a good friend.

“Is a good friend,” I mean. He’s not dead…yet. And yes, he’s still going to be doing his site, so don’t worry! (Though he and I did toy around with the idea of creating a fake “feud” between the two of us, but, eh, I’m old and don’t have the energy for it.)

And saying “so long” to Dorian put me in a nostalgic mood, thinking back to the other employees we’ve had at our funnybook establishment:

NATHAN: This is the original Nathan, not the newly-arrived Pope Nathan…my primary memory of him is that he seemed to know everything about the Warhammer line of tabletop wargames (this was back in the day when we still sold gaming products…we sold off that part of the business a couple years back). Also, he seemed to have a lot of lady friends who brought him food on a regular basis.

JOSH: Now, after Josh left employment with us, I knew about his standing-in-line-for-Star-Wars shenanigans, but imagine my surprise when I found out he was on Amazing Race 4 with his pop. Holy cow. But as for an actual store memory of him…God help me, I know you’re reading this, Josh, and I’m very, very sorry, but my most vivid memory of you from the shop is Greg picking you up and lifting you over his head. Again, I’m sorry. Oh, that, and your Wolverine tattoo. (You can visit Josh’s site at Weezerandgeezer.com.)

GREG: Yes, the same Greg that hoisted Josh into the air and spun him around like a propeller. That Greg. He was also a stand-up comedian, an actor, and a bouncer at a local bar…that last one coming in handy late one night. Greg was in charge of our games department, and occasionally had late night Magic: The Gathering gaming sessions with several customers. During one such session, someone tried to break into the computer store next door, shattering the front window. Little did the burglar know that the largest man in Ventura County happened to be working late at the nearby comic shop. Hearing that noise, Greg charged out, tackled the guy, and kept him pinned until the police arrived. Yes, we had our very own superhero working for us. Cool, huh? (You can see what Greg’s up to at Merrymisfits.com.)

SEAN: So one day, Sean and I were talking about something or the other, and Sean’s response to something I said was “man, you’re so bad!” My immediate reply was “I’m so bad, I should be in detention,” which blew Sean’s mind, since of all the people he expected to be quoting Anthrax lyrics at him, I was at the bottom of that list, given my usual boring, vanilla demeanor. Also, Sean is responsible for introducing us to the circle game, for which he will pay dearly, oh yes. (Visit his occasionally-updated webpage at Flesh-head’s Treehouse.)

COREY: Corey was our back-room gnome, working a day or two a week to try to keep the storage area in order. We’re good friends, so naturally we give each other an enormous amount of grief. I think my favorite bit was when he was up in the front of the store asking me about something, and someone riding by on a bike shouted something incredibly vulgar, along the lines of “C*********G B***H!” Right after, I said to Corey “hey, I think your mom’s here.”

Don’t worry, he gives as good as he gets. Oh, yeah. (You can see what Corey is up to at Captain Corey.)

RACHEL: Rae was (and still is) a charming, intelligent, and charismatic young woman, and was liked by all our customers. In fact, one or two customers may have liked her just a little too much, necessitating a series of secret code phrases between the two of us in case I needed to get her out of an uncomfortable situation. Okay, we only needed to do that once or twice, and she was amused by it, so it’s no big deal.

She also had a pet snake named (if I recall correctly) Jezebel. Neat.

ROB: Ah, yes, Rob. My old high school buddy. He hasn’t worked here in years, but customers still ask how he’s doing. In a strange turn of events, after leaving the store, he moved out of town, then out of state, and now he’s married and lives just down the block from our shop. Go figure.

My favorite memory of Rob from the store was when he had to go on the roof to adjust the store sign. While he was up there, a customer of ours came in and asked me “hey, why is Rob pantsless on the roof?” Now, knowing this particular customer, he probably was joking, but it says something about how people see Rob (even someone who knew him as well as I did) that the possibility did exist that he was on the roof with no pants.

Rob was also the instigator of the local mini-comics concern Full Frontal Harvey (discussed here), and was in a handful of bands (including local legends, Phooey). He currently has a small pet dog named Jon Benet. Yeah, I know.

(EDIT) KID CHRIS: Can’t believe I almost forgot about him. Well, you can look through my entries over the last year or so and get your fill of Kid Chris stories. He did pop in on Saturday to say hello, and tell us what classes he’s taking (“History of Rock ‘n’ Roll” and “Theoretical Geography”). Go visit his site, which he may update again someday.

AARON: Actually, we just hired him. He’s the “Fake Dorian,” even though those are some big gay shoes he’s gonna have to fill. Yeah, that’s right, Dorian made his job so much his own that “being gay” is now one of the requirements. Hope he likes showtunes.

---

All joking aside, we are going to miss Dorian around the shop, though I know we’ll still see him around…he’s still gotta get his new funnybooks, after all. So, Dorian, good luck to you, and you know I wish you well. “Vaya con pollos,” my friend.

Today is pal Dorian‘s last day of employment at our funnybook emporium. Please join me in wishing him well.

One of the problems with updating this site every day, particularly with the running-off-at-the-mouth posts that I’m prone to do, is that topics and issues I bring up may appear to be thrown out there and abandoned as I move on to the next post. However, I promise, I read every comment left on every post…even if you’re responding to a post from a year ago, I’ll see it.

And, if I can, I’ll follow up on responses sooner or later…which I’m gonna do now.

---

From Tuesday’s post, where I talked about origins and endings in children’s programming, I stated that the producers of the current Teen Titans cartoon stated that there will be no team origin. Well, apparently they had a change of heart, as commenter Dave was good enough to let me know. If you missed it, here’s the description for episode #62 Dave pointed out:

“How did ROBIN meet STARFIRE? What was BEAST BOY’s first joke? Why did CYBORG build his Sonic Cannon? When did RAVEN first call the Titans her friends? Return to the very beginning and see how it all started – from the word ‘GO!'”

Cool, no?

I also mentioned this story I spotted on FARK (and now beginning to make its way across the Comicsweblogosphere) about an IRS agent allegedly shoplifting comics…which kicked me off on the general topic of shoplifting at our store. There are other memorable accounts of would-be thieves that we’ve tagged (like the mother and her two kids who tried to work as a team to steal things from us…and failed miserably at it, or the kid from out of town who tried to steal from us, and whose parents were in a rush to continue on their trip and wanted to leave with their kid before the police arrived…yeah, I bet) but most of them are just depressing. Look, no one gets into selling funnybooks to get rich…stealing from your local comic book store can seriously hurt the bottom line. We’re just trying to make a living, y’know?

---

Wednesday’s post was about the mostly forgotten Marvel property Seeker 3000, and the neat idea of the villain of the piece being the heroes’ own shipboard computer’s personality. I found that idea quirky enough to be amusing, and, as far as I know, mostly unique (outside of the Red Dwarf example I cited). There are plenty of examples of non-villainous characters going through the personality-upload process (commenter Philip mentioned Jack’s dad, the original Starman, as the personality in the Mother Box computer in James Robinson’s “Starman in Space” storyline, for example). One person mentioned to me elsewhere that the whole Seeker 3000 concept may have been…inspired by a previously published sci-fi story (I mean, beyond the Star Trek/Star Wars influence). Anyone familiar with Seeker 3000 and its possible similarity to older stories?

---

Thursday was my monthly End of Civilization post, where I pour through the order form and pick out the things that amuse and enrage me. In response to an example of the latter, the Sin City expanded edition, it was pointed out to me that it was no secret that when the first edition came out, a second “special edition” was to follow. That still doesn’t make that right. I didn’t like it when Lord of the Rings did it, I wasn’t happy about the Star Trek: Nemesis thing, and isn’t there like a dozen versions of American Pie on DVD? Feh. The end result is that there may be a small number of people holding off on buying DVDs if there’s the slightest chance that a future “special edition” may come out. Granted, probably a very small number, but still, this sort of behavior can’t help consumer confidence.

Something I missed in my overview, since I tend to overlook the Marvel solicitations, but pal Dorian was terribly amused by this, and I gotta bring it up: Astonishing X-Men Saga, taking the twelve issue run by Joss Whedon and John Cassaday and condensing it down to one 48-page one shot, since the other 200+ pages were just unnecessary filler.

How ’bout reprinting the 12 issues in two manga-sized paperbacks at that $7.99 price point you have for the Spider-Girl books? They’d probably sell like crazy in that format.

And that Essential Godzilla paperback…okay, now while I think that’s brilliant, I didn’t know Marvel still had the rights to reprint it, and I can’t imagine them paying out the money to regain the license. I’m assuming there’s some reprint clause in the original contract letting them get away with it…anyone know for sure?

At any rate, if you want it, put in your orders now in case the book disappears right quick like the Essential Conan volume.

---

For reading this far, I give you breakdancing Transformers (via Metafilter).

Okay, I know I need to get back and address the shenanigans and goings-on in the comments sections of my posts from earlier in the week…I may do a Friday wrap-up tomorrow, if you all are interested. So get your comments in now!

---

Now I was poking though the Crisis on Infinite Earths “director’s commentary” in the new issue of Wizard, which was actually pretty interesting, pointing out story details that I hadn’t noticed before. However, when I saw Marv Wolfman’s declaration that John Constantine made his first appearance in Crisis #4 (and Wizard‘s editorial note that the two comics came out in the same month), something seemed a bit off there.

I was reading both Swamp Thing and Crisis as they were coming out at the time, and it’s my memory (granted, of events from 20 years ago) that I first encountered Constantine in Swamp Thing #37. Plus, the cover date of Crisis was July 1985, Swamp Thing #37 is June. On top of that, the “DC Comics on sale this week” listings inside the comics themselves state that Crisis was on sale the week of April 4th, while Swamp Thing #37 was due out the week of March 21st.

So, without access to our store’s invoices of the time to confirm (they’d been discarded a long time ago), and assuming Swamp Thing wasn’t shipping late, it appears that Constantine’s first appearance on the stands was indeed in ST #37.

Or Swamp Thing #25, if you want to complicate matters.

---

Yeah, I know none of you care about that. But if I didn’t talk about it, who would? Who?

---

Other funnybooks out this week:

Super F*ckers #2…or “#273” as it says on the cover. James Kochalka, Superstar, continues the colorful, insanely profane, yet strangely innocent, superhero comic. This installment is a little shorter, with a smaller cover price (only $5), so maybe some of you cheapskates can check it out this time. It’s good, it’s packed full of fun, and you’ll get your money’s worth, I assure you. (Go read more about Senior Kochalka at Kochalkaholic.)

Little Lulu: Letters to Santa – this new $9.95 volume from Dark Horse reprints issues #18 through #22, and, though I haven’t had a chance to read it yet, I’m sure it’ll be just as fun and delightful as the previous volumes. If you want to see one of the pinnacles of comic book cartooning, you need to see these books.

Zombie Tales Oblivion #1 – I positively reviewed the previous installment a while back, and this new issue appears to be up to the same standards. If you’re getting tired of the same-ol’ same-ol’ zombie comics, let this series restore your faith in the shambling undead.

New Don Rosa story in this week’s Uncle Scrooge (#347), in case you didn’t know.

---

There’s a new Diamond Previews this week, and you know what that means: it’s time once again for PROGRESSIVE RUIN PRESENTS…THE END OF CIVILIZATION (previous installments 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8). Pull out your copies of Previews and follow along, won’t you?

p. 404 – As previously discussed on my site (as inspired by pal Dorian’s thoughts), DEVO action figures are now coming out, at last! Well, action figure, as it’s just one figure with five interchangable heads…one for each member of the band. Yes, really. Also comes with whip and energy dome. (Yes, I’m getting one.)

p. 412 – Star Wars Customs Rev-&-Go Choppers – pictured here are “Darth Vader’s Imperial Chopper” and “Luke Skywalker’s Rebel Chopper (with R2D2).”

Well, at least there can’t be any Star Wars merchandise sillier that th…oh, wait, what’s this on the same page?

Star Wars Transformers Series 1 Action Figures – “An all-new line of 8 inch scale figures that combine the legendary characters and vehicles of Star Wars with the dual function of the Transformers!” Pictured: Luke Skywalker, who transforms into an X-Wing. Swear to God.

p. 414 – G.I. Joe Cobra Commander Pistol Replica – “Full-sized, 1/1 scale piece,” mounted on a wall plate and limited to 1,000 individually hand-numbered pieces, only $350. For $350, it damn well had better shoot something.

p. 418 – Now I think that Aliens Wall Statue (featuring the Alien busting through a barred grill of some sort) is pretty neat, but it’s only nine inches? For $85? Just make it on cheap plastic and blow it up to life-size. Impress the in-laws with one of those, why don’t you?

p. 422 – Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy “Becoming” Bust – This statue incorporates Buffy’s gravestone from the early episodes of the series…which reminds me of a question. If everyone was trying to keep Buffy’s death a secret, why engrave a tombstone with her name and year of death on it? Yeah, I know it was supposed to be in an out of the way place…but why take that chance?

p. 422 – Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Gentlemen Voice Box Replica – For $69.99, you can get a four inch wooden box, with a hinged lid, that looks like something you saw on one episode of a TV show. Doesn’t sound all that swell when it’s put like that, now does it?

p. 422 – I Robot: NS-5 “Sonny” Android Bust – I don’t think Asimov’s body is spinning in his grave fast enough…thank goodness there’s this expensive piece of merchandise inspired by the crap movie that was based on his work (“in that they’re both in English,” to steal a line from MST3K) to turn up the speed a little.

p. 446 – For a second there, I thought I saw a four-foot wide plushie that looked like the head of Gizmo, the good Gremlin from the film of the same name (Gremlins, not Gizmo) but surely I was mistaken.

p. 448 – Oh man, a Scrooge McDuck (“A Pool of Riches”) statue, for $199.99. Man, I want that. (Somewhere, the Mirror Universe Mikester, the one without the goatee, is writing in his weblog “Man, what kind of dope would spend $200 on a Disney duck statue?”)

p. 473 – Aeon Flux Complete Animated Collection DVD Director’s Cut – Crud, I want this, too, if only to wash out the taste of the forthcoming live action Aeon Flux debacle. I actually have the original Aeon Flux DVD, which was one of the earliest DVDs, I believe. Remember my rant a while back about DVDs that ballyhoo “interactive menus” as a special feature? (Summary: if you couldn’t interact with it, what’s the use of a menu?) Well, it’s probably because of DVDs like this old Aeon Flux one that companies started noting “menus” as a feature. This disc has the Liquid Television shorts, four (I think) episodes of the half-hour cartoons, and if you want to see a later part of the disc, then by God, you have to skip ahead to it manually. No pansy-ass menus for you weaklings here.

p. 473 – Holy crap, Mirrormask is already coming on DVD? Well, it did show in at least four theatres nationwide, I guess that was enough.

p. 475 – Sin City Recut & Extended 2-Disc DVD – “Hey, remember that Sin City DVD you bought a couple months ago? Well, f*ck you, buy it again, fanboy!”

At last, I believe we may have found a nickname for new coworker Nathan:

HIS HOLINESS, POPE NATHAN I

I was looking through issue #41 of Marvel Premiere #41 (April 1978), featuring the one (and, until a few years ago, only) appearance of “Seeker 3000,” per a customer request to verify this was the comic he was looking for. In the process, I noticed what I thought was a pretty good idea for a sci-fi comic:

CLICK TO MAKE SPACIER
That goateed computer image is in fact the antagonist of the series, who died earlier in the issue but “lives” on as the shipboard artificial intelligence. Having your former arch-nemesis as the A.I. you have to interact with on a daily basis just to survive was, I thought, a neat concept (“Set a course for Gamma Omnicron IV, computer!” “Course set…or is it? Ah ha ha ha!”), and it’s a shame the series never went any farther than it did. I know that it’s been done elsewhere (for example, in the Red Dwarf TV series, Rimmer lives on as a shipboard hologram that pesters Lister), but it just sort of caught my fancy.

I know a Seeker 3000 mini-series came out a few years back, but I’d completely forgotten about it until I started Googling around for references to the original story. It appears, though, that they didn’t exploit the idea overly much, getting the A.I. program off the ship (and onto another) in short order.

A similar concept popped up near the end of Jim Starlin’s tenure on Dreadstar, back in its First Comics days. Dreadstar and Company are preparing to leave the galaxy, but longtime Company member Willow decides to stay behind. However, she has uploaded a copy of her personality to the shipboard computers, and thus becomes the ship’s A.I. This wasn’t an adversarial relationship like in Seeker 3000, but the implication was that, one day, Dreadstar would return to the real Willow and find her much different from the shipboard A.I. he’d grown accustomed to.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…I’m sure this is a fetish for somebody. If someone can fetishize Roy Orbison being wrapped up in plastic clearwrap, someone can fetishize human personalities being uploaded into computers.

Additional linkage: synopses of Marvel Premiere #41 and the late-90s Seeker 3000 mini-series.

So in response to my post yesterday, about superhero-genre characters with little or no origins, commenter Stavner mentioned Gadget from the Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers cartoon. I wasn’t intending to bring in cartoons, since that opens up another whole can o’worms (where did Hong Kong Phooey learn his technique? Is Inspector Gadget a robot or a cyborg or what…if he’s a robot, what’s up with his “niece?” Why did Baron Otto Matic and Clutcher hate Tom Slick so much?), but it’s a fair point as well. To use a more recent example, I remember reading that the producers of the Teen Titans cartoon have no intention of explaining the origin of the team, since that’s sorta beside the point. The point being, of course, superhero action to entertain the kids, who, it’s assumed, don’t need a “beginning” to enjoy the show.

However, as a kid once myself, I know I spent a lot of my youth wondering about endings. Did the family on Land of the Lost ever get home? What happened during the last two years of the Enterprise’s five-year mission? You know, that sort of thing. To use an example that was just a tad after my time, many kids wanted an ending episode to the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon so badly that the rumor started that, in fact, there was a concluding episode produced and aired. (Mark Evanier, who worked on the show, says there wasn’t, and he should know.)

---

So FARK linked to this story about an IRS agent accused of allegedly stealing comics from a comic book store (to which the defense attorney’s reported rebuttal was an inquiry about the store’s tax records, which has what to do with the case, exactly?). Anyway, that reminded me that I haven’t really talked about shoplifting on my site, here, mostly because it’s too depressing. About 90% of the time, it’s kids trying to sneak out of the shop with a pocketful of unpaid-for trading card packs, though there’s the occasional person who tries to make his escape with a pantsload of Spawn comics (real example, unfortunately). I even caught one person blatantly trying to swap price tags on back issues right in front of me…I couldn’t kick that dope out of the store fast enough. Feh, sez I.

One of the behaviors described in the linked article I do see on a relatively frequent basis…the squirreling away of comics in “secret locations” for later retrieval. I don’t know who they’re trying to fool, exactly…do they think we don’t check the shelves for out-of-place material? We’re not exactly a giant warehouse, here…we’re a small business, and out of place things, even in a store as full of stuff as ours, stick out like sore thumbs. Are they hiding the items to come back and steal it later? Or, as I suspect is the case, are they hiding the items because they don’t have the money for it right now, and don’t want the item to sell out before they can come back with money to buy it? (And, usually, it’s an item that’s in no danger of selling out.) Of course, when we catch them in the act, we just come up right behind them, pull the item out of hiding and put it back where it goes, giving the perp our patented Sardonic Glare™ all the while.

One shoplifting story that did amuse me slightly…we spotted a young man pocketing some trading cards, who then quickly made his way to the exit to make good his escape. I immediately followed him outside and asked him what happened to the card packs he’d been carrying around. He immediately blurted out “Ileftthemonthecounterletmeshowyou” and ran back in the store. He charged to the back counter where the card packs were kept, clearly intending to dump his pocketed merchandise on the counter before I could get back there to see him do it, and thus claim they were there the whole time. However, my coworker at the time, Greg, who was, and still is, a mountain of a man, was waiting for him at that counter, arms crossed, glaring back down at the kid. Totally busted, and the kid knew it.

Ah, good times.