Progressive Bully #1: Eye, Superman.

§ June 6th, 2022 § Filed under Bully, superman § 9 Comments

Hullo folks, hullo! Bully the Little Stuffed Bull here, America’s only stuffed bull comics blogger, sliding into some sort of Progressive Ruin towards which all of us are careening madly. I can see you opening your eyes wide in surprise at not finding here the usual master of comics blogging, retailing, and all-around fun, Mike Sterling, and many of you have been rapping at the door and I’ve had to shout back: “Mike’s not here, man!”

Where’s Mike? He’s here and well and at the helm and counter of Sterling Silver Comics; he’s just busy with other obligations that’ll keep him from blogging this week. But in the words of Chrissie Hynde, stop your sobbing, because I raised my hoof and volunteered to step in. Altho’ blogging about blogging is a crime, blogging still oughta be fun (if I may toot my horns briefly to plug my own comics blog, Comics Oughta Be Fun!) and I’ll be aiming to provide you all the Swamp Thing, Frank Miller’s The Spirit, and pog-filled content you can hold in two hands and still ask, Oliver Twist-like, for more.

To start off, I figgered I’d focus on a topic that Mike occasionally refers to: eyesight, and how good it is to have it! I’ve been following Mike’s travails with his own eyeball adventures, and I continue to wish him ongoing optical health. I hope that someday he might develop some sort of laser vision, which would be a pretty keen thing to have.

But what of other persons who seem to have eye problems, hmm? We need to also extend our understanding and empathy to those who have some a problem with an ocular orb or two or occasionally three. Folks like Clark Kent!

Clark Kent? Having vision problems? I can hear you ask across the vast expanse of the inter-majig-net, and it’s true; oh, it’s true. Because frankly, you can hardly read a Superman story without realizing the poor guy must have something stuck in his eye.

Oooh, that’s awful. I hate when that happens. Is it a bit of dust, Clark?

Maybe a splinter? Oh man, those things are awful!

Perhaps you need an eye wash, Clark? A little clean water’ll get whatever that is right out of there.

Maybe some Visine? Ben Stein has told me it will get the red out! And while you’re at it, lend Lois your handkerchief, ya crumb-bun.

Could it be pollen? That gets in your eye and you can’t help but blink all spring long.

Maybe you could ask Perry if he would spring for an air purifier for the Daily Planet offices?

Well, at least it’s a problem that only seems to affect the Golden Age Clark of Earth-2, and not an optical ailment that bedevils the current, modern-day Mr. Kent and OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

Well, whatever it is that you’ve got in your eye, Clark, it doesn’t seem to affect your alter-ego Superman at all.

Yikes! Have you considered that whatever keeps getting into your eye is Kryptonite-based, Clark? Maybe you should ask Lois to take a look for you since she’s always so common-sense and level-headed.

Anyway, folks, that’s my first post subbing for Mike, and I hope if nothing else, we can all agree: I drove this stupid joke into the ground like a circus tent-post.

9 Responses to “Progressive Bully #1: Eye, Superman.”

  • Let me be the first to congratulate you on stepping in for the Mikester in your own inimitable style, Bully. Can’t wait to see how this week develops!

  • ArghSims says:

    You could put an eye out with that headline!

  • King of the Moon says:

    *wink* *wink*
    *nudge* *nudge*

  • King of the Moon says:

    I do like to point out to people that Clark was breaking that fourth wall long before She-Hulk and Deadpool

  • Robert Coleman says:

    Nice post on Supes’ squints! Concerning that last panel: I am now worried that mustachioed lothario will be seducing Lois while Clark is NOT LOOKING.

  • Cassandra Miller says:

    Robert, you might want to read “Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow.” No spoilers!

    Bully, thanks for the alt-text!

  • S says:

    Yeah it turns out that’s actually Lois’ new husband, so it’s okay.

  • MisterJayEm says:

    Bully to the rescue!!

    — MrJM

  • Michael Palledorous says:

    Leave the squinting to me, thank you very much.

    Neat that the mid-1960s Filmation cartoons ended pretty much each episode with the wink.

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