Progressive Ruin presents…the End of Civilization.
Make Civilization End Again with this great new batch of goodies that you can find in the latest Diamond Previews! Grab your own copy of the August 2018 edition and follow along:
p. 44 – Dead Rabbit #1:
Not the sequel to Fatal Attraction, where a zombie rabbit gets his revenge, I’m afraid I have to report.
p. 109 – The Seeds #3:
This is a great comic! I’ve really been pushing it on everybody. In fact, you could say I’ve been…PUSHIN’ TOO HARD:
p. 114 – Ralph Breaks The Internet — Click Start: Choose Your Own Internet Adventure HC:
Sheesh, yeah, right, what’s Ralph going to do? Break the internet more? “Oh no, there are more women-hating weirdos on Twitter? DARN IT RALPH.”
p. 123 – Death Orb #1:
This certainly was some advance marketing:
p. 129 – Game of Thrones Targaryen Throne Replica:
I didn’t know that throne was carved out of Vasquez Rocks.
p. 138 – Tales from Vader’s Castle #1:
“THANK YOU, DARTH VADER, BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN AN[joke cut for obviousness…for once]
p. 190 – Rainbow Brite #1:
Let me guess…creeps are complaining that this character is no longer as sexy as she used to be too.
p. 280 – Snoopy Boogie Down! TP:
I am actually thrilled that a book with that cover, with Snoopy dressed like that, with the encouragement that he should in fact “boogie down,” is coming out in the Year of Our Lord 2018. Bless these folks.
p. 322 – Star Wars Lando’s Luck HC:
“So I understand that Lando’s luck…works every t[also cut for obviousness]
p. 323 – Star Wars Be More Vader HC & Be More Yoda HC:
Looking forward to Be More R2-D2 [be more potty-mouthed, take no crap from anyone], Be More Lobot [be quiet and awesome], Be More Ugnaught [self-explanatory], and Be More Watto [oooh, maybe not].
p. 324 – Bath Time with Aquaman Bath Book:
“Make some room, my friend, Aquaman is joining you in that bathtub!”
“Um, look, I’m just trying to read Of Mice and Men and Robots here, could you maybe not…”
“Here I come! Mind the splashing!”
“SIGH. Okay, fine, but the walrus stays out.”
“…Not Tusky!”
p. 354 – Lost in Space Countdown to Danger Vol. 1:
What’s with this “volume one” business? They should just put all the books out simultaneously so we can binge-read them over a weekend and then spoil it for people who have families and jobs.
p. 370 – Wonder Woman Mad Libs:
“Okay, I need a noun.”
“Aquarium!”
“And an adjective.”
“Scary!”
“Great. Now I need an example of the oppressive patriarchy against which we sisters must always struggle.”
“Hoo boy, where do I start?”
p. 401 – Make A Nerdy Living:
GOT THAT COVERED, THANKS.
p. M17 – Legends in 3D Movie Watchmen Rorschach Half-Scale Bust:
“What’s that mushroom cloud of smoke rising up over there in England’s direction?”
“Oh, just Alan Moore’s head exploding.”
“…Again?”
p. M77 – Garfield 400% B@arbrick:
I hope he’s just inexplicably changed in the actual comic strip to look like this. Would people just, you know, accept it? “Gotta have my Garfield…wait, he looks different. Huh. Well, as long as he still hates Mondays.”
DC Previews p. 4 – Batman Blank Comic #1:
“And then Batman and Catwoman kiss, and then they’re married, and then they have lots of kids, and then they….”
“Uh, Mike? What are you doing? Are you…drawing in that comic book?”
“NO, SHUT UP.”
Marvel Previews p. 3 – Spider-Geddon #1:
“Uh oh, looks like trouble! I’m…spider-geddon out of here!”
— why Mike isn’t allowed to write comic books
Marvel Previews p. 18 – Infinity Wars Sleepwalker #1 & #2:
If anyone can do Sandman done right, it’s Chad Bowers and Chris Sims! Don’t disappoint me, boys!
Be More Jar Jar: You-ssa Can Repel Adventure and Survive Your Trilogy
I would like a hat emblazoned with MCEA.
The Seeds joke is a fine example of why Mike is my favorite comics blogger.