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- I apologize for the brevity of today’s update…it’s been a busy couple of days. Real, actual content should return tomorrow.
- Today’s installment of The Rack may be based on true facts that I perhaps made the mistake of relating to the strip’s creators. (In what will barely pass as my defense, I would like to note that I paid little to no attention to the titles of the books, just the volume numbers.)
- King Oblivion of the International Society of Supervillains has written a book, Hate You Forever: How to Channel Your Rage into Effective Supervillainy, and has a sample chapter for your evil perusal.
…Well, maybe not all time, but pretty close. Frankly, you’d have a hard time beating this.
Sorry to dip into the trading card well twice in a row, but I’d totally forgotten there was even a Return of Superman card set (released in 1993), despite the fact I, of course, have a full set of it here in the Vast Mikester Comic Archives. These images are just reproduced from the comic, so there’s no particular reason why I have to present them from the cards, except that cards are sitting here in front of me and the comics aren’t.
Anyway, get a load of this. Yes, that’s Supes. Surely you recognize him by his flowing steel-blue hair:
Yup, when I think of Superman, I think of “Fury Unleashed!” Okay, I’m not being fair, this all (mostly) worked in context, and the Death/Funeral/Return storyline is, I think, still one of the high points, if not
the high point, of the post-revamp Superman comics. But honestly:
…that’s not a look you probably ever expected for Superman.
But one thing I keep thinking…why’d I even buy these cards? I had all the comics. There’s nothing new in the set, expect maybe the shiny foil/chromium/prism/uranium chase cards. Seventeen years on, I can’t even imagine wanting to buy packs upon packs while attempting to put together a full set. Was it just something in the air at the time? Were cards just so closely tied to the comics market that you almost felt obligated to buy the trading cards for your favorite characters, too? Or was it just exploiting that collector’s mentality to accumulate and assemble things, resistance to which was at its lowest ebb during the boom and bust of the ’90s?
I hardly see that kind of card collecting today, except for folks trying to track down the original sketch cards that seem to be the current trend. At least those I can understand…the handdrawn sketch chase cards are usually pretty neat, and each one is genuinely unique. But otherwise trading cards (of the non-collectible card game type, that is) have since been reduced to being a niche market within a niche market. The days of leaving a pile of boxes for the Jim Lee X-Men trading card series by the register as an impulse item for the customers are probably gone forever.
I mean, I even had a set of the Jim Lee X-Men cards. I didn’t even like Jim Lee’s X-Men comics.
I mean, I was hardly a fan of this 1993 DC crossover event series. I didn’t hate it or anything, but I didn’t go out of my way to follow it. I didn’t buy the two issue “bookend” Bloodbath series that began and ended this crossover, and the only tie-in annuals I bought were for those series I was buying anyway.
The alien bad guys that were the focus of this event were kind of neat-looking, though…sorta weird and grotesque, like this guy:
As I’m sure some of you remember and are trying to forget, the aliens came to Earth to feed on human spinal fluid or some damn thing, and survivors of the attack were somehow “changed” in the process, getting superpowers and not excruciating headaches or blurred vision or anything.
Here’s one hero, Gunfire (shown here with Deathstroke during his “anti-hero” phase) resplendent in all his Nineties-ness:
I’m not even sure what the hell is going on here:
Hey, this is cool: Hitman trading cards!
The bonus cards featured the four post-death Superman stand-in characters (you know, Cyborg Superman, the Eradicator, Steel, and Superboy) and a fifth “exchange” card that, if memory serves, you had to mail away for. Well, guess who mailed away for it:
It’s a foil card, so Superman’s metallic blue chest doesn’t appear as shiny in the scan as it does in real life. And it’s embossed, which means you can drag your filthy, filthy fingers over the molded features of the card and gently caress the outlines of Supes’ big red S and his mighty Kryptonian super-mullet. Not that I’ve ever done that. Or am doing it right now as I type this.
So, anyway, Bloodlines cards…yet another thing I bought and held onto for the better part of two decades for no real good reason. Well, aside from blogging about it, I suppose.
So young Jeffrey, distraught over his father’s bout with cancer, heads over to the Avengers Mansion to ask Thor for help. After getting the brush-off from the Avengers’ butler, Jarvis (which, I don’t know…I have a hard time with Jarvis not at least inquiring as to why the kid was so upset), Jeffrey manages to sneak in, and, one thing leads to another, and he gets in the middle of a battle between Thor and the Absorbing Man.
It’s at this point that Jeffrey’s pop shows up, looking for his son, and sees that his boy is in the thick of things. I mean, really, check this out:
That kid’s totally dead. But no, he’s just concussed.
Anyway, Pops charges in to defend Jeffrey, and Absorbing Man pulls not one of his brightest moves:
“Say, I’m in battle with a super-strong Norse god…lemme take the risk of trying to absorb an unknown superpower from this totally ordinary-looking guy and possibly leaving myself defenseless.”
Absorbing Man quickly learns his mistake, with a spectacular comic book facial expressions:
Luckily for him he had that fresh, clean New York air he could “absorb” and undo the previous transformation. And you’ll be glad to know Jeffrey’s dad’s cancer went into remission, which neither Thor nor the Absorbing Man had anything to do with, and the kid recovered from his apparent concussion, so everything worked out in the end.
That was a lot to say, considering all I intended to do was show you that panel and say “whoa, he turned into cancer,” but for once I thought I’d give you some context. I must be getting soft-hearted in my old age.
images from Avengers Annual #20 (1991) by Michael Higgins, Ed Murr & Mike Bair
FOUR MORE
THAN TOBEY MAGUIRE
from The Best of Ernie Bushmiller’s Nancy (1988) – thanks to pal Andres
So Justice League: Cry for Justice #7 came out, and it was your typical over-the-top melodramatic dopey superhero comic, with the usual “this changes everything FOREVER” developments that will be undone sooner or later. Online reaction has been pretty heated, with even some folks suggesting writer James Robinson was going to lose his job because of online response. I mean, c’mon, really? Surely worse comics than this fluttered by this week. Anyway, the other day I was on the Twitter being a jerk about how people were reacting to this comic, because, while I am sympathetic to the objections, part of me still thinks fanguish can be really funny. During my little bout of dickishness, my pal Kevin and I and a special third party to be named later had the following exchange:
beaucoupkevin: “@mikesterling Man if that were Swamp Thing shooting people in the head you’d have a post called MIKE STERLING GOES BROKEN ARROW ON DC”
mikesterling: “@BeaucoupKevin: If Swamp Thing shot someone in the head, it’s because that person needed killin’.”
Dee2theBee: “@BeaucoupKevin @mikesterling @theisb ‘FOR JUSTICE!’ http://twitpic.com/16eunj”
For those of you frightened, confused, or just plain annoyed by Twitter syntax, ProgRuin reader “Dee2theBee” gifted me with this fine illustration:
That’s quite possibly the last to-the-death battle I ever expected to see. Yet another reason why the regular DC Universe publishing line must reclaim Swamp Thing from the Vertigo division. If Dan DiDio is claiming that
Solomon Grundy is filling the “Swamp Thing” role in the DCU, then Swamp Thing can fill the Punisher role there. Maybe James Robinson can write it.
Meanwhile, across town, the Eddie Izzard gang
strikes:
By the way, when inspecting your ill-gotten ermines, letting your pistol hang halfway out of your jacket pocket is a one way ticket to injury on the job. When pulling your heist, please make sure to safely secure all weaponry not currently being used. Just another gun safety tip from your pal Mike!
images from Superman #186 (May 1966) by Otto Binder & Al Plastino
We have had this toy in stock since the
Virus film, based on the Dark Horse comic book, was released in 1999. Though, come to think of it, I don’t remember if the toy was explicitly a tie-in to the movie or to the comic. I suppose it doesn’t really matter now.
There was a short series of store stickers on the packaging (removed for that photo) with progressively lower prices that attracted no one.
I tire of looking at it sometimes, and I’ll store it away in the back room for months, or years, at a time. However, I also occasionally put it on eBay, and pray that someone takes pity upon us.
Oh, Squeaky from Virus action figure, I fear that you will accompany me to the grave.
I AM
SQUEAKY OF BORG
from World’s Finest #164 (February 1967) by Leo Dorfman, Curt Swan & George Klein
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