Mike Sterling's Progressive RuinWhere legends live since 1969

Okay, this is the last predictions post for a while, I promise.

§ January 7th, 2011 § Filed under predictions § 14 Comments

Okay, I know this is probably going over like a lead balloon, but here’s part three of my commentary on your predictions anyway. (And here’s part one and part two.)

• Bret tells us
  

  “There will be a public apology for the commercial failure of Scott Pilgrim vs the World. Whether it will be the public writing a letter to Edgar Wright, or Edgar Wright and Micheal Cera releasing one of those hostage videos at gunpoint apologizing to Universal for under-performing is unclear at this time.”

  I finally got around to seeing Scott Pilgrim, and it wasn’t a bad movie. It was cute and fun and got me to try reading the comic again…and it still didn’t grab me. Sorry folks.

  But I don’t know that anyone really needs to do any apologizing to anybody, really. Wright made a decent film, and it never found an audience outside of a small cult following. Not the first time it’s happened, and, of course, not the last. Just one of those things.

• Al Ewing relates
  

  “Quick predictions – Steel is NOT going to die, but John Stewart is. There’ll be a funeral issue where the other Green Lanterns agree that he was the most soldierly, like a true soldier, and his past as an architect – wimp of the professions – will be erased once and for all. Probably he’ll be back as a Red Lantern within the year, blowing away some dudes with a sniper rifle.”

  “Wimp of the professions” makes me laugh, I have to admit. I’d be surprised if they “killed” John Stewart, if only because he’s the most prominent GL thanks to the Justice League cartoons (at least until the live action movie comes out), but I can totally see this as a possible sales-boosting outline for the Red Lantern comic.

• demoncat calls forth
  

  “Marvel will have Mickey and co visit their universe. 2 Marvel will give the x-men a break with cross overs. right after they have jean grey come back from the dead as dark phoenix one more time and wreck havoc. marvel will finaly bring scarlet witch back in the avengers fold sane. dc not only will kick marvels butt sales wise digitaly but will have Oracle back walking around . the death of barbara a fake out to restore her walking. dc will also have swamp thing return in his own title and Mattel will give him his own dc classic wave. wave 25”

  What demoncat doesn’t tell you is that this all happens on the same day. Aiiieeee!

  But…I do wonder if there’ll be some kind of comic book crossover between the Marvel and Disney properties. (I mean, aside from the recent variant covers “Tronning-up” Marvel super heroes.) After all, if DC could have its Superman & Bugs Bunny mini-series, why not Iron Man & Uncle Scrooge McDuck? Depending of course on whether or not Disney sees Marvel as a storytelling arena and not just an exploitable-trademark farm.

  I keep thinking, sooner or later, Barbara will be out of that wheelchair. And I’m always good with more Swamp Thing toys.

• Decker knocks us out with
  

  “Joaquin Phoenix will be hired to write a high-profile book, while ten genre-breaking, critically-acclaimed books will be canceled.”

  I’m sensing some cynicism re: slumming celebrities writin’ funnybooks in this year’s predictions lists. Not that I blame anyone. And like I said yesterday, people hardly seem to care anymore about celeb-comics.

• Subzero coldly predicts
  

  “All the people who claimed none of the CrossGen books were any good after the company went bankrupt will be bitching that they aren´t as good now that Marvel does them. They will still buy them.”

  Oh, sure, almost certainly. I am wondering when the first Marvel crossover will involve the Crossgen properties, too.

• Bully the Little Stuffed Bull toots his horns with
  

  “A comic book starring a water-skiing, flame-thrower wielding cat will becomes a surprise cult hit.”

  THE FLAMEFOILING FELINE, coming this summer from the Action Age of Comics!

  “At least one comic book will be published on lunch meat. At least one.”

  Haven’t they done a thing with printing images on lunch meat for kids? Maybe you’ve got something here.

  “One major DC or Marvel superhero character will be changed into a woman. Not replaced by a female version. Changed into a woman.”

  Clearly X-23 was just Marvel testing the waters for Wolverine’s next big “event.”

  “The Captain America or Thor movie will provide an easter egg which suggests a Marvel heroic character not even hinted at previously in movies or casting news will be in ‘The Avengers.’ And that character will be Rocket Raccoon.”

  That would make The Avengers potentially watchable, yes. Though I shudder to think what the hints would be. “Thor, look — by the river! Someone’s been washing and eating fish there! Who could it have been?”

• Mikey Wayne sez
  

  “In the next big cosmic event for DC, the Spectre will be taken down first.”

  Well, I guess it’s sorta like the old Star Trek series, where the transporter would go out, and Kirk and the gang couldn’t just beam out of their problems. Taking the Spectre out of the picture certainly prevents an easy fix to whatever’s going on. I am sort of curious what spurred on this prediction, though. Care to elaborate?

• Jeff R. reveals
  

  “Secret Six won’t last through more than half of 2011. However, we’ll get a new Suicide Squad monthly immediately after the cancellation.”

  Secret Six’s sales have been solid enough, so this would kind of surprise me. But I totally expect another Suicide Squad series at some point.

  “Hellblazer will get its final regular writer in 2011, starting a 15-20 issue arc that leads into the final issue, #300 in ’12.”

  Wow, we are awfully close to #300, aren’t we? Hellblazer sales aren’t the strongest they’ve ever been, but it’s still Vertigo’s longest running and most-flagship-y of their series, so I imagine there’d be some resistance to retiring it.

  “Miracleman will be republished, and, in the case of book 2, completely redrawn from Moore’s original scripts. Marvel and Gaiman will try to get Rick Veitch to do that art job, but probably won’t manage to talk him into it.”

  I do hope it gets republished, since that’s what everyone is waiting for…and not reprints of the ’50s Marvelman. I’d hate to see Chuck Austen’s work redrawn, though (I’m assuming that’s the work you’re referring to)…it had a clean, quirky style that I really liked. Though I am always up for more Rick Veitch, regardless.

• MaxGRobinson declares
  

  “The last of DC’s Red Circle titles comes to an end. (unless that’s happened already?)”

  I think Mighty Crusaders appears to be the end of it, far as I remember. Ah, well.

  New Aquaman on-going spins out of Brightest Day. “

  DC keeps trying to make him work, so, yeah, I can see this happening. Which means we’ll never see a continuity-lite, kid-friendly version of the character ever again, which is a shame. “…In the comics,” I should add, because the Brave and the Bold cartoon version of Aquaman is awesome.

• Andrew Leal says…well, let me sum it up with “comics may come back to department stores are impulse buys,” citing their reappearances in Toys ‘R’ Us, and suggesting Target might next be an ideal place for this to happen. I certainly hope so…kids do love comics, but they have to be able to find them, first. I hope this prediction comes true.
  

  “Another long-running serial soap strip which most folks were only vaguely aware existed will die within the year (after Annie and Brenda Starr, my own money is on Judge Parker or Rex Morgan”

  Man, after Annie bit the dust, it seems like no one is safe, doesn’t it? Look out, Walt Wallet!

• Joe Schwind sez
  

  “Collisions between aging comic book artists and economic reality continue.”

  Sadly, this is almost certainly true. So folks, don’t forget The Hero Initiative, a charity for supporting comic creators in times of financial and medical distress.

• Ray reveals
  

  “The Tin-tin movie will not be a commercial hit. The Tin-tin movie videogame, however, will be great.”

  There’s a Tintin movie? (That probably answers the first prediction.)

• Mister Bile coughs up
  

  “[J. Michael Straczynski] is hired to ‘redefine’ yet another main comics character.”

  Well, that Earth One book wasn’t really all that good, but it sure sold well, and he wrote for television, you know, so I’m sure every company would be delighted to have him jump in and write, I don’t know, the Serious And Redefined for the Aughts Red Bee Comic Book.

  “Hawkman is rebooted.”

  Maybe he’ll get a new series out of Brightest Day, too. But good gravy, no more rebooting. I can barely make sense out of Hawkman as it is.

  “The next Spider-Man game will disappoint.”

  Does any superhero video game not disappoint? Every game gets people complaining about it.

• MichaelfromJamaicaNY foresees
  

  “I predict this Halloween will be extra freaky deaky, what with all the Thor family, and the grown women dressed as the 14 year old from True Grit, and the latex clad Trons, and the Black Swans, and the Tron Swans.
  Freaky. Deaky.”

  This will be on your head, MichaelfromJamaicaNY. YOUR HEAD.

• Steven E McDonald believes
  

  “Marvel finally caves in to the falling sales and ongoing hate and retcons the Spider-Marriage retcon, eliminating Carlie Cooper and fomenting the creation of the Carlie Cadre who boycott the revised book and spew venom at Marvel over this destruction of their Mary Sue.”

  I suspect that the re-retconning will happen sooner or later, which will, as you say, tick off somebody, because changing anything about a character at any time usually does.

  “We’ll see more original graphic novels, often set up like European albums. While DC will lead this trend in the Big Two, smaller publishers will expand upon the offerings they already have, with the result that Top Shelf will improve market share very nicely.”

  This sort of thing seems to happen a wee bit at a time…DC’s Earth One initiative is heading in this direction, but we have yet to see how a second in the series will do. But success with the smaller publishers will depend on how willing retailers will be, in this economy, to order original graphic novels that don’t feature familiar and marketable characters, which is about as shallow an insight as I can manage and still be considered sentient, I realize, but it’s likely true nonetheless. I mean, if a book is good and it catches on, it will sell, but it’s the “catching on” part that’s the real trick, and becoming increasingly difficult as the market consolidates.

  “Squirrel Girl will be the next big push. Not only will she get her own ongoing title and team membership in the Avengers, but a team-up book, and, in an attempt to broaden the market, a MAX romance book in which we’re treated to the erotic adventures of Squirrel Girl — just wait until you see what she can do with that tail!”

  You are a very bad person for even suggesting this. And yet, there’ll be a market for it.

  “During a DC panel at Comic-Con, during a convoluted explanation of his multiverse series, Grant Morrison begins to glow with an unearthly light, following this by ascending. Not dying. He simply becomes a Cosmic Consciousness on the spot. As can be imagined, this seriously complicates matters on a number of fronts.”

  The day is coming. Oh, yes.

  Speaking of which, the Internettings seems to have discovered this old post of mine with the Morrison promo poster again. Getting a lot of inbound links to this lately.

• Darius dares
  

  “All periodical comic books will cease publishing in 2011!”

  Well, that’s a dramatic prediction, at any rate! Hopefully that’s not one of those ironic predictions where, yes, monthly comics will end, but so will everything else, because a giant meteor will collide with the Earth, killing us all.

• londonKdS wraps up this batch of predictions with
  

  “Prediction I’ve been privately making for several years now: there will be a major controversy over some female Marvel/DC creator being caught doing erotic fanfic/fanart as a private commission or under a secret fan identity. Sexist fanboys will leap on this as what they wrongly think is a demonstration of the hypocrisy of feminist fangirls who attack oversexualisation in official canon, while the publisher involved will initially take harsh action against the person until people critique their hypocrisy given the tolerance of well-known male creators quietly doing erotic commissioned art of corporate-owned characters.”

I’m not sure what to say about that, except “erotic” commissions from superhero comic book artists are never not hilarious. But I can probably see the potential of a controversy of this sort breaking out, though ideally a publisher, if it takes a stand on this issue, should be even-handed about its policy regardless of the gender of the artist in question. (If a controversy does occur re: erotic commissioned art, it’ll be panicked dudes who are okay with drawings of Wonder Woman and Black Canary making out, but will freak if it’s Aquaman and the Flash making out.) (I am totally not Googling any of this, by the way.)

Okay, and that’s enough of that. Thanks for your patience, Ruinites, as I went through all these. And if I didn’t mention your prediction specifically, it’s because I hate you and everything you stand for. Especially you, Andres!

I notice that some of the repeated predictions generally involve DC’s $2.99 price point, and the whole digital download comics distribution thing, which tells me these are foremost on folks’ minds, so these will be the topics to watch over the coming year. Well, more the digital platform, where I expect a number of changes and refinements, whereas the $2.99 is more a matter of “how long can DC hold out without cutting more pages for finally just jumping back up to $3.99.”

Anyway, come back in a year and we’ll see how folks did. And if you feel like it, come back before then, because I might have some other posts on the site in the interim. And I promise, no more prediction posts ’til next year!